Sunday, January 9, 2011

Let the Point Counting Begin...Again!!!

As one of my New Year's resolutions I have decided to take better care of things in my life. Take better care of my house by keeping it cleaner and neater than usual. Take better care of our finances by keeping better track of our spending, and spending less in general. And most importantly taking better care of my body, which I haven't done in a long time now.

So last week I decided to start back on Weight Watchers. After months of binge eating and working out only once or twice a week, I got to the point that when I would look in the mirror and was disgusted by what I saw. One would think that that fact alone would prompt me to do something about it, but I kept eating, and kept making excuses about going to the gym.

Skinny (and braless) Mama J in 2004, with a DJ
I was convinced was Justin Timberlake
(the celeb love of my life) and my BFF. 
It wasn't until I was packing for Florida and I came across a photo (not photo on right, but I thought that one was priceless) of myself from a holiday party at my old office from 2004, that I really decided something needed to be done. I know exactly what I weighed then, as it was the skinniest I have ever been in my adult life...and it was 40 pounds lighter than I am now. I had a jawline! I didn't have to suck it in! My belly didn't jiggle! I wore belts! I was sitting on the floor of my closet with Marlo looking at the photo and I said "look baby, this is skinny Mommy. It looks like a different person right?" And the more I looked at this photo of this gorgeous skinny girl, in a size 10 jeans and Medium shirt with a slight hint of a flat tummy peaking out, the sadder I got, until the tears came and what I was looking at made me want to throw up.

Of course I then went to Florida where my mom, as usual, had stocked up on our favorite junk foods, and we were eating things out of gift baskets for a week. But on the 30th of December my body started to revolt. I got a stomach thing and was throwing up, and had the runs (I know gross but it happens to everyone!) for 24 hours. You know what it was? It was my body telling me "THAT IS ENOUGH FATTY!" It wasn't food poisoning, it wasn't a virus, it was my body revolting and giving me a sign that I have been abusing it for too long. And what a way to kick start a diet too :).

So now it has been 7 days of officially counting points again. And thus the 5th time in the last 7 years I have started on Weight Watchers. The first time was in 2003 and I lost 35 pounds, and when I started I was the heaviest I had ever been...until this time of course. And at the end I was that skinny girl you see in the photo above...but I realize that I will never be that skinny girl again. At that point in my life I was living with my girlfriends, going to dance class twice a week (one class was 4 hours long), working out before work every day, and worried about what my then-boyfriend thought about the way I looked. Now I take care of a 13 month old, am home in my house most of the day (surrounded by food), have a husband who loves me no matter what I look like, and basically live in "lounge wear" all day long.
I have to say that this week was a lot easier than I thought it would be. With the new Points Plus system you can eat all the vegg and fruit you want for zero points. I also cut out alcohol for the week (except for a few cocktails Saturday night), and I was amazed at how much better I felt. And I actually went to the gym 4 times this week, which is my goal for most weeks. Of course this means getting Marlo to cooperate and let me work out for more than 30 minutes before they come and get me to retrieve her from daycare, but she is getting better each time we go.

I know it has only been a week, but I feel like I am already into a groove and I know this time will be different. I know I have said that in the past (and even written these words on here before) and hate myself for just talking about it and not doing something about it. I can't live in these size 16 pants anymore. I have a gigantic walk in closet upstairs full of gorgeous size 12 clothes that I have refused to part with and it is about time that I start wearing them.

You will hear a lot more about my journey on here in the next weeks/months and I would love all the support I can get. Save the "you look great" comments, as I know you are just being kind. I don't need to hear that right now - I need someone to tell me I look like I ate my former self and need to do something about it.

If anyone else out there is on Points right now and wants support, please email me at bostonbabymama@gmail.com. Would love to swap recipes and food secrets! Here is a secret: if you drink a lot of Crystal Light, you will have terrible gas. Or it could be from the entire plate of roasted broccoli I ate for dinner...luckily for my husband he is away for work.

4 comments:

  1. Hi, my name is 20 pounds from the weight I was always saying "I'm too fat and need to lose 15". Much like you I'm really struggling right now. I just had to buy a dress 3 sizes larger than normal and my stomach looks like something fro. A scifi movie. I am registered for ww but have had issues getting the new system to work on my iPad. Trying to just really conscious about eating, but today after realizing I'm going to look like I'm pregnant (and am not) at this wedding in 10 days...all I wanted to do was eat. :(. Mama j, I'll help you, you help me. Let's say see ya to the 20-40 pounds we've packed on!

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  2. J, you are too funny! Rock on and kick butt! Here's hoping that your enthusiasm is contagious!! Danielle from TBS

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  3. hey Jess! I'm on WW now since October. I lost 18 lbs so far and have yet to repeat a recipe once! and Erik eats what I cook so he can testify it's yummy. Are you on the online program? If so- my screen name is misslg and I blog on there. Good luck!!

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  4. Good luck, mama J! We're all here to support you.

    And he DOES look like Justin Timberlake - my celeb lover also. I would definitely be convinced if I'd been drinking...

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