not about anything

When I got pregnant I heard all the time how breastfeed would take all those extra pounds, I would loose it and never look back.
Now breast feeding never really worked out for me and the food in America is so yummy I'm still looking like a chubby 9 month pregnant women.
How does anyone do it? I work from 9-6 Monday to Thursday, I leave home at 8.15 and get home usually 6.45 by then I'm so tired and just want to chill plus any classes at gyms are over and done with, on Fridays my hubby works and I have alone time with my bg so we try to get out and do fun things but no gym, no gym ever it feels like.
I used to be really big (well I'm only one size away from that really big) and joined ww, it worked great for me, I had a goal and I had a firm week to week thing, but ww is a lot of involvement, the cooking, the counting, the meetings, and all that took up so much time, it made me think less of those snacks in between coz I had to plan everything. I'd love to get back to that, but I have no time now.

What did you all do? Seriously though, with very little time, no family around to help out and a young baby.
what happened to me?
where did I go?
I have gained pounds and a little wonderful amazing girl, but where did my will power go?

Do you ever feel lost and then ashamed for that feeling?

I always try to be honest with anyone who asks me about who things are at home, with baby and all, If things at the moment are good, I'll say just that, but if they are not so good I'll say that too, no one else seems to though, everything is always peachy.
I have been reading this blog www.motherhoodwtf.com
it's so funny, open and honest and it makes me feel better about life and the world.
I do picture this women as tall, slim and very very pretty coz that's how she sounds, but nice, a little bit scary, but she sounds nice....
I am hoping that my postings on this blog might not be as funny but they are open and honest, I think we need more of that in this world...
lots of love to you all.
xx