Mama J's New Mama Must Haves

A few weeks ago Mama Bird posted a great list of her favorite products for traveling with a new baby so I decided to follow suit and post my "must haves" for new and second time moms out there. Lots of these products are breastfeeding related, which was a whole new world to me this time around (as you all have heard me mention 100 times :). So without further ado, where is my list of must-have products for the breastfeeding/new mom:

I don't look this good in it,
but I wear them every day!

1. Glamourmom Nursing Tanks: I wear these most days - either by itself around the house, or under a non-nursing-friendly shirt if I am going out. That way if I have to nurse in public I don't have my jelly roll belly hanging out for all to see. I also sleep in these so I don't have to fumble with another layer when nursing half asleep.

2. Anita Nursing Bras: These are my go-to nursing bras, if not wearing a nursing tank. They are a little pricey but invest in 2 nude colored bras and you will be set. They give amazing support without having any padding. I will definitely wear these after nursing too. I was wearing a size 36D bra before getting pregnant, then I bought 38DD nursing bras without getting fit. I went to a fancy bra shop and found out that I am actually a 36F, and I was amazed at how well these bras fit! Get yourself to a bra fitter before you buy nursing bras that is for sure! And wait until after you have the baby to do so...

3. Mamajama sleep bras: I wear these when I am sick of feeling constricted in a bra, or when my boobs are sore and I want to feel naked but with a little support. So soft and comfy - but definitely not to be worn out in public if you have giant melons like I do!

My Breast Friend Forever!

4. My Breast Friend- Boppy's are baby school when it comes to nursing - and by that I mean a joke. They don't give the baby the support that the My Breast Friend gives them. I love it's firm pillow, with the two contoured areas for baby's head. And the fact that you can strap it to you to keep it raised in places is great. Every nursing mom needs at least one of these.

5. Lansinoh Nursing pads - Every nursing mother knows that if you don't wear nursing pads in your bra you are in for an embarrassing situation. I tried 3 different brands this time around, and found these to be the most absorbent, allowing me to change them fewer times than Johnson & Johnson and Medela brands.

6. Moby Wrap - Val is a baby that spends most of her day in my arms or in the Moby or Ergo carriers. The Moby is my favorite because it holds her so securely right against my body. Sure it takes a couple times to get the actual wrapping down pat, but once you have it down it is second nature and can be done in about 20 seconds.

Julia Roberts uses it, so
should you.

7. Ergo Baby Carrier - I tend to use the Ergo more when I am out and about than when I am at home. I can get it on much easier when standing outside the car (just two clips as opposed to 17 feet of fabric that will most likely touch the ground) than I can the Moby. Now since I first purchased this in 2009, I had the older infant insert (just basically a square piece of quilted fabric). I saw that it had been redesigned so I purchased the newer version (that looks like something an Inuit baby would be wrapped in). It was a total waste of money - in fact I think both are. You can just as easily wrap the baby in a substantial blanket (see #8) and then put her in the Ergo just fine. The idea is to give the baby more neck support and padding, and it isn't necessary to spend an addition $35 on the insert, when you are already spending so much on the carrier itself.

8. Stroller Blanket from PB Kids - I received two of these as gifts when Valerie was born. I never ever thought I would get so much use out of them! And I have yet to actually use them for what they are intended - a stroller blanket. I use them in place of the infant insert in the Ergo, for tummy time, for photo shoots, in the car, at home just as a blanket. They are so amazingly soft and luxurious. Best baby gift we got this time around for sure!

9 .  White Noise App for iPhone: Val hates the car - Hates with a capital H. Earlier this week I wrote a post about how I am like Sandra Bullock in Speed when in the car with her - as soon as I go below 60 she screams... that was until I put on a white noise app with sounds of the ocean the other day! I think at first she was a little scared by it, but she quickly settled and slept the entire 30 minute drive. M loved the white noise when she would sleep when she was first born too...there are a ton to choose from in the app store so check them out before you spend money on a white noise machine!

10. Petunia Picklebottom Diaper Bag: After a rodent got into my Petunia Picklebottom boxy back pack when we were at a music class in Southie last year, I went on a crazy search to find that perfect diaper bag when I found out I was pregnant with Val. I knew I wanted a backpack, as I have a bad back and carrying anything to heavy on one shoulder makes it worse, so I needed even distribution. After reading countless reviews of every backpack (diaper bag and plain old back pack) and trying most out in person, I settled on the same one I had last time. I love the choice of patterns, the size is perfect (but I do find that I fill it to the brim with two kids worth of stuff) and my husband can carry it without feeling like he is carrying a lady-bag (ok, it is pretty feminine, but it isn't one that looks like a ladies purse!).

11. Aden & Anais Muslin Blankets: I purchased these on a whim before I had M as I had to use up money on a gift card, and damn am I glad I got these! We use them for everything and anything - burp cloths, swaddling (when Val was first born, but she doesn't get swaddled now), to keep warm, etc. - one is always in our diaper bag, or on the couch, or in the car. And they wash up really nicely too!

11. A Nap - sleep as much as you can. Sleep when the baby sleeps...no matter if you are tired or not, lay down and try to sleep! I know everyone says that, but it is true, as you won't have any other time to nap during the day in the beginning.

12. A glass of wine - While I would love to polish off a bottle of wine, Val refuses to take a bottle right now so I can't pump and dump. I am stuck having a glass of wine here and there, and boy do I look forward to it and savor every last drop! And every Mama should indulge when they can...

13. An iPad for your toddler - Get one. Load it with educational apps, tv shows, movies. Let your toddler use it sparingly and don't feel guilty about it.

14. Alone time - Being a new mom is draining both emotionally and physically. Recharge yourself by taking some time for yourself, whether it be going for a run (ha - yeah I don't run) or getting a pedicure (more my speed). Don't feel guilty for one second about being away from your kids. You deserve that "you" time. And if you can, get a sitter to watch the kids so you and your husband can have some time to yourselves. We have yet to do this since Val arrived, due to the not taking a bottle fiasco, but I am dying for some adult time with my husband out in the real world!

Tired Mama, It Could Be More Than Just Late Nights Wih Baby

After having my last baby, I was at the point where I was feeling tired all the time. I had chalked it up to being up with the baby and not getting much sleep. As he got older, 6 months, I would barely be able to keep my eyes open and my hair was starting to fall out faster than normal. I had asked my doctor about this and he had said this could all be from breastfeeding and my body changing from giving birth. I had to continue to fight through the overwhelming urge to sleep.

Almost a year later, baby now 1 1/2, I finally went to my family doctor and demanded some type of testing be done.

Finally, even though it was not what I wanted to hear, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. At least there was now an answer to my exhaustion and laziness!! I am finally starting to feel like my old self again and beginning to exercise and do more active things with my kids.

The point of this short story is that as new mothers, a doctor will contribute a lot of other signs to an "after pregnancy" symptom. Please be persistent. I am so glad I finally had enough and demanded some more tests. I knew I couldn't just be tired and lazy. There had to be something else. I am not at the point where my medicine is working completely, but in a few short weeks of starting hormone therapy, I am on my way to being better.

Adventures In Mom Dating: The Blind Date

by Mama A

It’s funny –and fortunate – how having a child becomes a passport to an entirely new social scene. Pre-baby I was happy and fulfilled with my world of friends, scattered both in town and across the country. Since I’ve had my daughter I still cherish those relationships but I’ve also grown hungry for a connection with someone who also worries about things like their milk supply or how to best trim miniscule fingernails and has an opinion on whether to go with the SnugRide 32 or 35.

My daughter is now 11 weeks old and I finally feel ready  to meet some fellow moms in a similar situation (i.e. I’m not totally wiped out, I’m able to string a sentence together, willing to put on clothes that may not have a draw-string waist etc.). My Great Beginnings class at Isis just ended and while providing a good initial foray into the new world of parenting, it didn’t produce the new, life-long best-mom-friends that I was hoping to find.

So I’ve ventured into the world of on-line dating. Mom-dating that is.

I recently found an online “ad” placed by a new mom seeking the company of other new moms.  I’m typically a chat-room “lurker” and never reply to such posts however, my desire to meet other new moms emboldened me. I replied, included a little info about myself and my daughter, and after one more exchange we agreed on a date to meet. That was it – my first blind mom-date was set! We agreed to meet at the Pru, near Isis, and I chuckled as I shared some identifying details – “I’ll be the one with the rose - er I mean red UppaBaby”.

Estate Planning with Mama V: What Every Parent Needs to Know!!

I was about 4 months pregnant and flying in one of those tiny single-engine planes on my way to a Native American Indian Reservation in Northern California on a work trip.  We hit an air pocket and the plane dropped several feet.  Other people cried out.  I gripped the armrest with one hand and my baby belly with the other.  That was the moment it occurred to me that I was going to be a parent.

What I mean is, that’s when it became clear that not only would I have to take good care of me and make sure I stuck around as long as possible, but also that I would really be, forever, responsible for another actual person.  As the plane bobbed around a bit too much for comfort, I found myself daydreaming and imaging who my baby might someday be.  Suddenly I wasn’t just envisioning the little Gerber baby I couldn’t wait to snuggle, but I was seeing a school-aged child, a teenager, and even a young adult.  I felt heavier, not just because I was in fact getting heavier by the day.

I felt the weight of that responsibility and I knew I had to do something about it.  When I returned to our condo in downtown Washington, DC from that business trip I told my husband that we needed to “do our Wills.”  Both of us being lawyers, we thought, “how hard can this be?”  So I set about drafting them for us with some sample forms from some Continuing Legal Education course offered by the local Bar Association.  Then, I confess now to you publicly, I set it all aside…for 3 years.

Mother's Worst Case Scenario Handbook

I need a Worst Case Scenario Handbook for first time Mamas. They sell one on Amazon, but it is for "Parenting" and seems a little too tame...eating sand? Forgetting diapers? That is not nearly as bad as the scenarios that go through my head on a daily basis.

Every day I see at least 10 horrific scenarios flash through my head...before noon.

I see me falling down the stairs with her in my arms. I see her falling over the railing from the second floor to the first. I see her highchair (which is attached to the kitchen table) breaking and causing her to hit the hardwood floor and crack her head open.

On our walks with the pooch in the morning my mind goes crazy. I see her in a runaway stroller down a steep hill (which causes me to hold onto the stroller with a death grip the entire walk). I see an out of control car hitting the stroller when we walk on a busy street. When we are in the park I have visions of a stranger on a bike speeding by me and snatching the stroller from my death grip...which leads me to all of the kidnapping thoughts I have throughout the day.

When we are out in public and someone looks at the stroller I immediately get these flashes of them trying to take her. When I first started leaving her in the day care at the gym I couldn't help but think some other person was going to walk through the door and take her from the room.

In the car I have visions of us getting in an accident at least twice every ride. What if the car goes out of control? Will the carseat actually protect her? Is the carseat installed tightly enough? Is she strapped in there tightly enough? When she falls asleep and lets her head hang I am worried she can't breathe...

It is a never ending catastrophic movie playing in my head staring Baby M. Is this normal? Do all other mother's think like this? My job is to keep her health and alive, which in reality is a fairly easy task to do, especially when you enjoy it as much as I do. I know deep down that none of this (I pray) will every happen, so why do I have these constant terrible scenarios going through my head?

Forget what to do if you forget diapers, what do you do if your baby is snatched out of her stroller by a giant bird and carried away? That is the kind of things I think about.

Signed Mama J, Wackadoo Mom

Back to Baby School: Fall Semester starts at Isis Maternity

This past Wednesday Baby M and I, along with 6 Mamas (and 6 babies), began our Fall Semester at Isis. We are all enrolled in the "Movers & Groovers" class, our 5th class that we have taken together since our babies are born. None of us can actually fathom this: when we finish this class, all of our babies will be one year old, and we will have been together (practically) every week since January 16th. As I have mentioned in previous posts, these women have changed our lives for the better in many ways, and I can't thank the Isis gods enough for putting us all in the same class!

With that said, I would love to just do a quick review of each class we have taken to date:

Last day of Great Beginnings class

1. Great Beginnings (for babies 2-10 weeks old): This was the absolute best class I took at Isis (both during pregnancy and after), but that could be due to the fact that I took it at a time where I needed something like this the most. It was a place where the 10 of us could open our hearts about being new moms, and realize that the things we were thinking were not as crazy as we thought they were at the time. Our "teacher's" name was Nancy, and she was a modern day Mary Poppins: wild salt and pepper hair, hint of a British accent and able to calm any fussy baby with a few bounces on the exercise ball. The first nugget she taught us was "ABC: All Babies Cry" and I will remember it forever. Seems so silly to say now, but at the time it was exactly what we wanted (and needed) to hear. During this class we talked about our babies development, breastfeeding (and not), our sex lives, and how to manage our newly chaotic life among many other topics. This class, obviously, was aimed more towards the moms than the babies and I cannot recommend it enough for all new moms out there. If you don't live in the Boston area it is more than worth your while to search out a local class just like this when the baby comes.

2. Next Steps (babies 3-5 months, or GB graduates): This class was kind of a blur for all of us in the group. I remember singing a lot in this class, which at the time I thought was pretty silly because my baby was only about 3 1/2 months old and couldn't care less about being sung to. The curriculum was much like that of Great Beginnings, and we all felt like a lot of stuff was repeated (yes, we know a crock pot can be a new mom's best friend, and we are aware of Peapod grocery delivery). Our teacher's name was Heather, and for some reason we didn't really bond with her that well. I think she might have been intimidated by the fact we all knew each other pretty well by that time, but we didn't really gel like we did with Nancy. We were all happy to attend the classes because we again got to see each other each week and thrived on that time out of the house with baby.

3. Caterpillar class (babies 5-7 months, or NS grads): During this class the babies started to pay attention to the singing and much more so to the teacher, Teresa, whom we loved. She was similar in age to all of us (early 30s) and has a child of her own, she took to us, and the babies right away. We spent about 30 minutes each class singing, followed by a book, and finally our 30 minute Mama discussion. This is when we really started to see the babies become more social with each other.

Last day of Social Butterflies

4. Social Butterflies (6-8 months old): Thank God for Social Butterflies and Miss Rebecca (as I like to call her). This was the most fun class for Baby M and I. Because she has been kind of a late bloomer socially, it wasn't until this class that she actually started to react and enjoy what was happening around her. Like all the other classes we sang for half of the time, and talked for the other half, but during the singing we had more advanced toys to play with to help the babies develop their fine motor skills. We talked about food in this class too, as all of our babies were now eating solid foods. In this class we also had a ball pool to play in, tunnels to crawl through (for those that were on the move early), slides, Rodis and all sorts of other interactive things for the babies to enjoy. I have to say Miss Rebecca was a fabulous teacher, with the voice of a Disney Princess. The babies took to her right away - and some wanted to go home with her they loved her so much!

If you are lucky enough to be able to attend class at Isis, I recommend taking as many classes in succession as possible. Like I have said before, I have met some great women because of Isis, and by the end of the class we will have spent an entire year together. It is a very rare situation that we actually all liked each other and got along so well, and even rarer that we have been able to take classes together.

For more detailed information, and to register for classes, visit Isis' website!

Go Bananas Before Baby!

As I was pushing baby M and the pooch through the Arboretum this morning I watched the runners zoom by me and head down these mysterious trails into the woods and up hills and all around. I thought to myself "I wonder what is down there? Well, I guess I won't find out because a stroller can't go on the woodchips and up that steep incline. Maybe I will come here without baby M one day. No, that will never happen, I guess I will never know..." And those insanely deep thoughts led me to this post. What do I wish I did more of before I had baby M (besides taking the off-road trails of the Arboretum - ha!)? Here is my advice to you soon-to-be new parents:

1. Go out to eat as much as you can. Yes, you can still go out to eat once the baby comes, but not to your favorite fancy restaurant, and not at prime time eating hours. We can go out now at 5:30 if we want to hit the hot spots, which is nice because it is quick service, but some places can't so much accommodate a stroller, and most places don't really want babies there I am sure. We have gone out after she has fell asleep, and had her with us in the stroller, but that is only to local restaurants, not anywhere in the city. And then the entire time we are worried about her being in the way, or making a peep, or it being too loud, so we don't truly get to enjoy our meal. Of course you can use a babysitter, but you will still be worrying about your babe most of the time and will be on a schedule. Again - Go out as much as you can just as a couple!!

Good Times in Vegas

2. Go dancing with your girlfriends. Before babies were even talked about, I used to go out dancing with my girlfriends at least twice a month. You know those crazy nights were you get all dolled up, wear your high high heels, drink 10 Captain n' Diets and end up dancing either on a table, on a pole, or riding a mechanical bull? Oh I miss those sweaty nights on dark dance floors dancing to hip hop with my ladies (and the occasional random man until he gets to gropey). Now the only time I dance with my friends is at weddings! How pathetic. Since we now all have kids it is nearly impossible for us to get together for lunch, let alone a crazy girls night out. And one of us has been pregnant for almost three years now, so there hasn't been a time where we could all go out and do it up. Again - Strap on those stilettos and go dancing with your girlfriends!!!

Santorini - One of my favorite places

3. Go on vacation. I don't care with whom, but go on vacation to places you have never been. My husband and I did a Mediterranean Cruise to Egypt, Greek Islands and Turkey before we started trying for baby M and damn am I happy we did it, because it would be another 20 years before we are really able to do something like that again. We made it a point to go to Montreal (somewhere I had always wanted to go) as our babymoon because when would we have time to go now? I have always wanted to go to Paris, and now it will be years before we can make that trip. Go on vacation while you can!!!

4. Have alone time. Once the baby comes, you are never alone. Stay home alone one night and enjoy a glass of wine and a movie. Take a hot bath (while enjoying some wine) by yourself. And when I say alone I do mean by yourself, but also enjoy time alone with your partner at home too.

5. Speaking of alone time with your partner...HAVE LOTS OF SEX. Because you won't be doing it much when the babies start coming!

6. Read books. Read as many books as you can. Do not put it off because you will have NO time to read once the baby comes. That is not true - I read to my daughter every night, and I have read many parenting how-to books, but a novel? No dice.

I used to enjoy exploring the city with my camera

7. Enjoy the city. No matter where you live, get out and do the touristy things you wouldn't normally do. I wish I went to museums more, went shopping more, went to more Red Sox games, more concerts...all that sort of stuff before baby was born. Of course I can do them now, but it involves so much more planning than it did before. I miss the days where I would go downtown and spend the day shopping by myself, and take in lunch outside on Newbury by myself.

8. Go to the movies. You cannot bring babies to the movies - unless it is the "Baby Pictures" that is once a month at the movie theaters. I used to go weekly, even by myself some times. I miss it terribly.

What are some things you miss doing now that baby is here?

I Heart Bethenney

I find the title of "The Real Housewives..." to be somewhat comical. If they really wanted to show what "Real Housewives" of America do on a daily basis they would be showing us over weight, average looking women doing laundry, cleaning up after their family, wearing clothes from Ann Taylor Loft and going grocery shopping and not well-maintenanced, couture-wearing women who lunch, whose Nannys watch the kids and housekeepers do the laundry. The latter makes for a much more interesting show, of course, and one that I have been watching since day one - when Lauri was single and "struggling" to make ends meet and Jo was dating Slade. I also find it comical that during the first season the majority of the cast members were not even "wives" at all, but now I am just being picky. After watching every episode, of every city (OC, Atlanta (loved me some NeNe until she went Michael Jackson on us with the nose job), New York, New Joisey and now DC), I have to admit that the ladies of New York have become my favorite...even with wack-a-doo Kelly as part of the cast.

Among the unmarried "wives" of New York was a quick witted, top-heavy, brunette named Bethenney Frankel, and from her first hilarious one-liner, I was a big fan. Although she obviously lived an above average life than most New York women her age, us "normal" ladies could relate to her. She was that one person on the show that you really wanted to be friends with. You were pulling for her throughout the seasons to find true love, and have the life she had always been dreaming of...and finally this year she did.

On her spin-off show "Bethenney Getting Married?" we watched her journey through pregnancy, plan a wedding in 4 weeks at 7 months pregnant, get married (no more question mark!), and finally have her baby in the penultimate episode. We also got a glimpse into her weekly visits to her shrink...so much for doctor patient confidentiality!

I normally have a hard time with people being so public with their private lives - don't get me wrong, I watch a lot of reality tv, and it if wasn't for these people letting us into their private lives I would have read a lot more books these last few years - but there is something about Bethenney that makes me actually care about what happens in her life. I feel like as a new mom myself I can totally relate to everything she was going through...all the emotional and physical changes of being pregnant, and then becoming a mom and your life changing like you never thought it could.

Finally someone on television was showing what it really is like to carry a child for 9 months (well, 8 in both of our cases), and that labor is NOTHING like it is in the movies. I, and all of my close Mommy friends, could related to everything Bethenney was going through - the swollen body, the sleep deprivation, the pornstar boobs, the unequivocal love you have for your child and mostly the uncontrollable sobbing. I especially love that they highlighted how her entire persona changed after giving birth, and that her loved ones recognized it too. Becoming a mother definitely makes you a much more calm, patient, nurturing woman and we all witnessed that change in Bethenney for sure.

I loved the fact that she brought Brynn home in a Carter's sleep n play that my daughter also had - I totally expected something fancy. And we all know how it feels to be without your "My Breast Friend" or Boppy...how do you survive! Watching her pumping in the last episode definitely triggered some trippy flashbacks to me sitting in my glider every 3 hours, in my dark condo playing Bookworm on my iPhone with the "gagung gagung gagung" noise from the pump in the background.

My only issue I have with Bethenney is the fact that she talks in her last episode about motherhood being so hard...while she is handing the baby off to the Nanny! You think it is hard then, try it with no hired help and then get back to us. But other than that, I love her! She is constantly a topic of discussion at my weekly Mommy & Me class, and will be missed now that season 1 is over. I am sure when I watch RH of DC on DVR Friday mornings I will not require tissues like every episode of BGM did!

Hopefully she will ditch the Real Housewives franchise for good and come back with "Bethenney Having #2?"

And can we talk about Jason Hoppy? Husband and daddy perfection...

One of these things is not like the other

I have many girlfriends that have babies. And being surrounded by all these babies makes me automatically compare my daughter's development to that of the other babies. Baby H is sitting up unassisted, why isn't Marlo? Baby L was teething by 5 months, why isn't Marlo? Baby C is feeding himself? Baby L is sleeping through the night? What is wrong with my kid!?!

I have to continually remind myself, as I have mentioned on the blog many times, Marlo was born 4 weeks early. And ever since she was born, we were told to think of her as a month younger than she actually was, or use her due date as her  "developmental age." But that does not stop me from comparing her to every other baby I know.

Before I had Marlo I would see other babies that weren't walking by a certain age and think "what is wrong with that kid?" or hear of a baby that was sleeping through the night at 4 months old and think "that is going to be my kid!" Little did I know that I would have no control over what my baby would do, and when she would do it.

And then once I had her, I started receiving the weekly "Your Baby This Week" emails and that is when the concern started to set in. I tell you right now - if you have a young baby and receive these emails (I was getting mine from babycenter.com) OPT OUT RIGHT NOW!! They will drive you insane.

"Your baby can follow you with his eyes!" - Negative
"By now, your baby is smiling at you!"- Nope!!
"Isn't it great that your baby can hold his own bottle!" - Not in this house!

With all the hurdles we have had to deal with (the constant spitting up, the helmet (more on that torture device to come in a separate post) and for the last 2 months I swear she has been teething, but so far nothing) combined with her adjusted age, I need to come to grips with the fact that she will probably develop a little slower than other babies...and I am totally fine with that. Right? Aren't I?

Just because Marlo isn't sitting up by herself yet, doesn't mean she won't get into Harvard when the time comes. And just because she isn't sleeping through the night it doesn't mean that she won't be playing professional tennis by the age of 15. It better not, or her father's hopes and dreams will be crushed!

Crybaby

My name is Mama J, and I am a crybaby.

It used to take something very emotional for me to well up, like the scene in the movie Castaway, where Helen Hunt runs out to Tom Hanks in the rain and kisses him so passionately and says "You're the love of my life!" Seriously, I just got choked up thinking about it...it gets me every time!!!

But ever since I had my daughter I have become mush.  That commercial about the couple going on vacation as girlfriend/boyfriend and coming back as fiances? I can't even watch it. Anything on television that has anything to do with babies - forget about it. I have a friend that once cried at the end of Look Who's Talking 3...you know the one where the dogs talk? We have since made so much fun of her for this incident, and now I am sure I would be water works if I saw that now...babies and dogs that talk?? DONE.

If it has the slightest hint of having anything to do with being a mom, love, babies, or dogs, grab the tissues because here come the tears. That infomercial about the dogs in a shelter? Are you kidding me? Before I could just turn the channel, but now if I even hear "In the arms of an angel...far away from here" I started to well up. I can no longer watch anything that has to do with children being harmed either, which seems to be every episode of Law & Order: SVU now.

When Seth Aaron won Project Runway? One tissue...My daughter scooting forward while doing tummy time the other day? Two tissues. Kate Gosselin getting kicked off Dancing with the Stars? Three tissues.
(TOTALLY KIDDING. I don't watch that show and I think that woman is horrific.)

Back to my weepy issues. I met a woman today (the mother of the man I am currently buying a house from) who lost her husband 12 years ago when he went in for minor eye surgery, and never came out, only to find out 9 days later that she had cancer. She was given 2 years max to live, and here she was alive and totally healthy, in the same room with me 12 years later. I couldn't help but get weepy. Not wanting this stranger to think I was an emotional mess, I blamed my wet eyes on my allergies. Always my go-to excuse...

If I even think about how lucky my life is right now I get teared up. I have this gorgeous miracle of a child next to me who I am lucky enough to spend all my days with, a husband who supports us whom I love with all my heart, a new house to move into, best friends getting married to wonderful men, others having more beautiful babies to call me Auntie, my family is healthy (and I finally get to see them more often since my daughter's birth), and the only thing stressing me out right now is picking paint colors for our walls. Tough life! I am truly blessed and so thankful every day.

Uh oh, Say Yes to the Dress is on...better grab the box of Kleenex.

Wannabe

by Guest Blogger Mama A

I moved to my crunchy small town from Boston when L was 15 months old. My husband and I had just one car at the time, which he needed for work. I saw this as an opportunity to become a true mom of the area. I bought myself a trailer for my bike, a helmet for my son and was ready to embrace my latent inner-hippie. I took one preemptive practice run around the block a few times and then felt ready to be a real local. I imagined myself in the best shape of my life from biking everywhere! I imagined my days biking into town with my happy toddler, meeting up with some like-minded women, running a few errands and coming home feeling fit, refreshed, in-touch and like a great mom. I was going to be that mom and I was psyched.

For my first real outing, I packed L into the trailer with a snack and a drink and headed off to the supermarket. I loved the adventure of it all! I found the bike rack, figured out how to park my giant trailer there without obstructing the whole rack and felt great as I headed into the market. I still felt great as I packed L back into the trailer and surrounded him with the groceries: 2 gallons of milk fit nicely under his seat, eggs and raw meats in the back where he couldn’t reach them, non-fragile items packed all around him. It was a tight squeeze. Once I got it all secure, I hopped on for my ride home.
I had not considered several factors:

1. Groceries are heavy;
2. Heavy trailers are very hard to pull;
3. The supermarket was downhill from my house, which means that my house was uphill from the supermarket;
4. I was not so fit;
5. I don't really like things that are really hard;
6. L has no patience for things that take a long time.

We finally made it home. I did not feel fit, refreshed, in-touch and like a great mom at all. I felt sweaty and sore and tired and obviously not fit. I felt irritated and angry at all those damn hippie moms with their damn happy kids in trailers. Instead of feeling like a great mom, I felt lousy for making L endure a very long, uncomfortable bike trip packed in with the groceries in the hot trailer listening to me curse at the world.

I knew I was not ever going to be that mom. Why did I think I ever would be? That very night I met my husband at the car dealership and we got our second car.

Identity Crisis

Let me introduce myself. My name is Becky and I am a Shoeaholic. One look at the storage bins under my bed and I'm certain you will agree. My mother diagnosed my addiction at age twelve, when I graduated from Keds and entered the world of booties (which are actually back in style) and Mary Janes. In some circles, I am known as The Woman Who Wears Inappropriate Shoes to Work. Like many women, I love a good pair of shoes and can always justify a new pair. You may be wondering, "What does this ridiculous post have to do with babies?" The connection is imminent, I promise.

While pregnant, I watched myself outgrow every piece of clothing in my wardrobe, but my feet remained unchanged. This enabled me to wear my beloved shoes throughout pregnancy, even my three inch, knee-high boots (which also earned me the title of The Woman Who Wears Ridiculous, Unsafe Shoes While Pregnant). As my body became foreign, my shoes allowed me to cling to a little bit of style, a little bit of my pre-baby self. No matter how I felt or looked from the ankle up, my feet looked amazing!

Toward the end of pregnancy, I sadly stored my wedges, heels, and boots under the bed, in favor of flats, sneakers, and flip-flops. Since Baby's arrival, the ridiculous, unsafe shoes only come out of hiding for the occasional date night. Even worse, I have not purchased a new pair of shoes since before Baby. Eight months without a new pair of shoes is far too long for a Shoeaholic. On Tuesday, I relapsed.

On a quest for a new pair of sandals, I took Baby shoe shopping. Our first stop was Super Fashiony Shoes for Trendy, Young Things, where I shopped frequently in my pre-Baby days. After awkwardly pulling Baby's stroller through the doorway with one hand, I looked around at the stark white walls, the minimalist decor, the blinding florescent lights, and the very young women at the cash register. Feeling slightly out of place, I scanned the racks for that just right pair of sandals. Nothing seemed to work. The heels were too high. The colors were too bright. There were too many straps. I don't like zippers on sandals. What was my problem? I used to love this store. As I pretended to scrutinize a pair of gladiator sandals, I looked around again. Nobody in the store was over thirty years old (except for me). Nobody was wearing sneakers (except for me). And absolutely nobody had a baby (again, except for me). Now that I am a mother, does that mean I do not belong in the trendy shoe store? I certainly felt that way. As a twenty-two year old saleswoman approached us, I mumbled something about nap time and backpedaled toward the door.

There had to be a different place to buy sandals, I thought, as I pushed Baby around the shopping center. Around the corner I found a different shoe store, Practical, Sensible Loafers for Women of a Certain Age. The ambiance in this store was markedly different; warm paint and fake stones on the walls, an abundance of plants, and Enya wafting through the speakers. Amongst the Crocs and clogs, I found a pair of sandals I actually liked! They seemed comfortable, yet cute. Sensible, yet stylish. I was just about to try them on when I noticed the other patrons in the store. Most women were at least ten years older than my mother. Most had shortly cropped, white hair. And most wore cable knit sweaters with turtlenecks and corduroys, even on this seventy degree day. Oh My God! I was in an Old Lady Store! Again, I ran away from the saleswoman, this time mumbling something about missing rush hour traffic.

I stood defeated on the sidewalk outside. Where did this Shoeaholic belong? Clearly too old for one store, yet many decades too young for another left me at a crossroads. Does becoming a mother mean having to forgo fashion in favor of practicality? Does caring for a baby mean a woman must stop caring about her style? Do certain stores have an unwritten rule that reads, "No Shoes, No Shirts, No Babies, No Service"? Do I have more in common with the stately women in turtlenecks than the carefree women in mini shorts?

Empty handed, discouraged, and confused, Baby and I went home. Until I figure out where I belong, I am shopping online. And after I buy that sought after pair of sandals, this Shoeaholic is entering rehab.

Adventures in Babysitting

by Guest Blogger Mama Brooke

My husband and I really wanted to see Avatar. I'm not really a movie person but hype told us it was best to see it in the theater in all of its three dimensional glory. This, however, was not easy to manage considering we had a 6-week-old. But, we figured then was as good a time as any to try out our first babysitting experience. We live away from our families, so getting parents or In-laws to sit was not an option. We had a night nurse in the beginning (a luxury we couldn't afford, but didn't regret nonetheless), so we used her to babysit. I had already known her so it wasn't so traumatizing. Surprisingly, on our way out I didn't feel guilty, or sad.  I felt great. Why not? I deserve to get out once in awhile without the little munchkin. It doesn't mean I love my baby any less, but I think I felt a little guilty for not feeling guilty. 

Midway through the movie, while enjoying the psychedelic lights of planet Pandora, I was brought back to Earth when it dawned on me: Baby nurse did not have my phone number and I did not have hers! I had only been using her through an agency and that is how I had been booking her. So, in a moment of panic, I ran outside, took off my 3D glasses and called the agency for her number. I managed to get through to her no problem but lesson learned: Nothing can bring down the people of Pandora and being a mommy means I probably have to be more detail oriented.

After having graduated from the baby nurse agency, I decided I wanted to get a another babysitter that would be cheaper per hour (I didn't want to have to pay extra to the Nanny pimp). My friend, or otherwise known as my Sansei (she knows all things Baby) put an ad on the local nursing school list serve looking for babysitters. This is a brilliant idea and I recommend it to anyone looking to do the legwork themselves. I just let my Sansei do the legwork and I hired the woman she hired. In my first meeting with Sitter I thought she was nice but i didn't really connect with her. I figured, I don't need to connect with her, as long as she connects with Baby. She came a few times and I still didn't have a connection with her.  While I was trying to explain to her Baby's napping schedule, feeding schedule, and define Baby's different peeps and chirps, I realized if I do not connect with the Sitter why should I have her watch my baby. As laid back as I am in my life, I just can't be the same way in my daughters. So I let her go politely, and I feel so much better for it. 

I went back to the agency and boy am I laying down some bones for this Sitter. But, you know what, it's worth the peace of mind. Only now, I make sure she has my phone number and I have hers.

Mama knows best...or does she?

I am the type of person that thinks they are right all the time. About 90% of the time I am totally in the wrong, but it takes a lot for me to admit it. Call it foolish pride. When it comes to my baby, I think I know best...or like to think I know best, because I have been with her for almost every second of her life, save a few hours here and there when she is with daddy or my parents are in town and Mama and daddy get to have a date night (not often enough).


When my husband has her, and she is screaming at the top of her lungs, I of course jump to the conclusion that he has just been sitting there ignoring her cries.

"Did you try and burp her?"
"Of course, honey."
"Did you change her diaper?"
"Just did, honey"
"Did you feed her sitting upright?"
"Yes, I have done this before, honey."
"Did you keep her upright after eating?"
"This is not the first time I have done this, HONEY."
"How about walking around the room with her?"
"I just did that for 20 minutes..."
"Then give her to me"


I seem to think that I have the magic touch (and sometimes I actually do), but more often than not I can't do anything that daddy can't do, and peanut continues to be Fussy Pants McGee.


Rewind to the Monday after Easter weekend...
Location: Newport, RI...scene: Exterior of the Marble House Mansion. Characters: A mid-30s mixed race couple, Mama still holding on to "baby weight" has young baby on her chest in a Moby Wrap, dad is freakishly tall. They are joined by a woman in her mid-50s, who seems off the plane from Palm Beach and looks 10 years younger than she actually is (my mother :), and bears a striking resemblance to the aforementioned Mama with baby (but with a healthy glow). Also in tow is Mama's hipster brother in skinny jeans (another freakishly tall character) and hipster girlfriend in all black.


Baby was awakened from nap to be put in Moby Wrap. Baby starts to fuss as they enter the mansion. Due to the early morning arrival, the group of 5 1/2 are the only patrons in the entire home. Fussy baby becomes a crying baby. Key word: MARBLE [house]. Babies cries much louder than normal...MUCH louder. Mama shushes, sways, bounces, pats, swings and repeats, while trying to listen to her audio guide and continue on the tour. Baby is not buying it. Daddy takes a turn. Baby not buying what they are selling. Mama's turn again.


Mama is approached by woman that works there. "You know you can leave and come back later." Mom knows, but that isn't happening, "she will be fine, she is just tired."


"Are you sure she isn't hungry?" Marble House lady says. "No, she just ate two hours ago, she isn't hungry."


"Would you like me to show you the bathroom where you can take her to change her diaper?" says the Marble House lady. "I know where the bathroom is, thank you. And her diaper doesn't need to be changed"


"I think she might be hungry."


"Well, she isn't."


After 5 more minutes of making a scene, Mama exits with baby. Still crying. Diaper change (diaper was wet). Still crying. Walk around outside with baby out of Moby. Still crying. An exhausted Mama sits under a tree and as a last resort fixes a bottle. Bottle is inserted in babies mouth. Baby is finally happy. Mama's face turns red and hopes that Marble House lady can't see her where she is sitting.


I still don't think she was hungry...I think she just doesn't like Marble houses.

On Strike

The strike began on Sunday. I left Baby C with Daddy for the afternoon while I sipped mimosas and ate chocolate cake at a friend's bridal shower. As I watched my friend open new wine glasses and flatware, I received a text from my husband, "Baby's a little grouchy. Drank an ounce of the bottle, then refused the rest. I will try again later." No big deal, I thought, as I ordered my second mimosa. About an hour and a half later, I headed home and called my husband en route. Baby C still refused her bottle, which meant no breast milk since 6:30 a.m. It was now almost 3:00. Fearing impending starvation, I pushed down a little bit harder on my accelerator. When I returned home, Baby immediately burst into tears. Before I removed my coat or set down my bag, I nursed Baby C on the couch. After eating, she seemed happy and the rest of our Sunday passed without incident.

Monday brought the dreaded beginning of my work week and Baby C to Nana's house for the day. After a busy Monday morning, I all but forgot about our bottle troubles from the day before. Around noontime, I received another text from my husband, who checked in on Baby during lunch, "Still not taking the bottle, but she ate breakfast and lunch." Two days in a row of bottle rejection is atypical for my little milk guzzler. Every once in a while, Baby refuses a bottle but usually relents later in the day. Again, this meant no milk since the early morning. When I picked up Baby C later that afternoon, she burst into tears once again. As I struggled to get out the door and run home to nurse, my mother-in-law kindly mentioned, "She was happy all day until you came." Just what a worried mama needs to hear.

Tuesday brought more of the same: bottle rejection, shorter naps, grouchiness, tears upon pick up, and sprinting home to nurse Baby. When things go amiss with Baby, I typically do two things, neither of which are helpful or productive. First, I over analyze the situation and propose several made-up hypotheses, none of which come close to identifying the problem's root cause. Maybe Baby has an upset tummy. Or, maybe she is eating too much food during mealtime. Or, could it be that the milk flows too slowly from her bottles? Wait, maybe she is teething. Baby cannot tell me why she is unsettled, therefore I make up reason upon reason until something seems sensible. If hypotheses do not work, I turn to self-blame. If Baby is not happy, obviously, I have done something wrong. Maybe I ate something spicy that spoiled my breast milk. Maybe I've had too many Halls cough drops and they are affecting my milk. As I went to bed on Tuesday night, I feared an endless bottle strike which would lead me to resign from my job, stay home, and nurse Baby.

Wednesday arrived and Baby went to day care where she finally drank two bottles during the day, thereby ending her bottle strike.

While I still do not know the reason for the strike, I am thankful Baby finally gave up the fight.

Can't Live Without: Month Four of Motherhood

A lot has changed in the last month of my daughter's life: we are now feeding her solely formula, she is awake more (which means she needs to be entertained now), she is growing like a weed (almost three times the size she was when we left the hospital), the weather is finally nice enough for us to be able to get out and take walks and we've been on many outings and trips with her in tow. This all means I have new products to share that I can't live with out!

1. Links: The simplest form of entertainment, these links (or inter-latching rings) are technically supposed to be used to suspend toys from the arm of the carseat, but I use them as a toy themselves...and baby girl LOVES them. Whether they are hung from the carseat bar, or just dangled in front of her face, she screams with delight whenever she sees them. She just learned to reach out and grab them - mama is so proud!!

2. Formula Dispenser: Now that we are part of the formula clan, this little bugger is a big part of our every day lives. It is always in my diaper bag, and we fill it up and bring it downstairs with us when we go to bed so we don't have to travel to the kitchen for the nighttime feeding.

3. Bottled Water from Costco: This may seem silly but for all of you formula parents out there, you MUST buy your bottled water from a wholesale shop (whether it be Costco, BJ's, etc.). For $4 you can get 6 gallon jugs of Poland Springs water...$4!!! That will buy you about 2 bottles of Aquafina water at any store.

4. The Miracle Blanket: The most aptly named product out there! Our little houdini baby could get herself out of any swaddle, and therefore was waking herself up during the night and naps. Enter the Miracle Blanket! This swaddle pins down your babies arms separate from the main swaddle action, making it impossible for them to move their arms while they sleep (I have one friend that claims her daughter can get out of it, but I will have to see it to believe it :). I truly believe it is because of this product that our daughter only gets up once in the night, and now for only 30 minutes. Since the day I bought it, she instantly started sleeping at least 8 hours straight every night.

5. Tiny Love Mobile: Along with the Miracle blanket, this product change our whole sleep routine for good. Before we would have to rock her to sleep, or hold her until she fell asleep, but ever since we got this mobile, we can just lay her down in the crib and she will look up in amazement at the animals circling around her and soon after fall asleep. The music is a nice mix of classical favorites, that for once actually sound like they are played on a piano.

6. Shutterfly: Ever since I had my first digital camera in 2000 I was a Kodak Gallery (or Ofoto for those old timers like me) girl. Then my best friend from high school (and the best photographer in the world) introduced me to Shutterfly, where you can make a simple webpage to share your photos. Peace out Ofoto!! Now I share my photos using my own "share site" as they call them, to which I upload all of my photos of the peanut, as well as videos. You can create a unique URL by adding your babies name before the ".shutterfly.com" address and your friends and family can check the site for updates at their leisure. You can also post the photo books that you create to the site, allowing people to purchase them at their convenience.

7. Eurobath: I didn't register for a bathtub because friends had told me that you could just put a towel down in the sink and be good to go. Well, my daughter is Squirmy Pants Maguillicuddy, and it was too stressful for me to keep protecting her head from the side of the sink (we also tried the sling in the sink, but you had to fill it up too high to actually cover her bum - and we tried it in the tub but it was too awkward). I was lucky enough to have a friend that wasn't using her tub anymore, so she lent me the Eurobath she used with her son. Thus started our nightly bath ritual on the kitchen island: a.k.a. my daughter's favorite time of the day. While the tub is rather large, it has this fabulous slanted part that she can lay back and relax in and I don't have to worry about her sliding down, or hitting her head on anything. I think maybe because she was born 4 weeks early she loves the bath more than anything in the world, but this bath tub sure helps too!

Haikus to Amuse about Boobs (and other body parts)

Righty and lefty

What happened to you my friends?

Looking sad these days

Pancakes are for brunch

Not to be put in your bra

Pass the syrup please

Fun bags you say sir?

More like sad empty balloons

Thank God for push-up

Harry Potter scars

All over lower belly

Quidditch Anyone?

Elastic waist pants

You are my best frenemy

Should throw you in trash

Oh cottage cheese thighs

You went from lite to homestyle

I should hit the gym

Please share your own Haiku poems in the comments!!

Playtex Drop-in Debacle!

We introduced formula to our daughter a few weeks ago, and after trying three difference kinds (while feeding her frozen breastmilk the majority of the day) we decided on Similac Sensitive RS. In order to see if it actually worked, and curbed her spit-up/reflux as advertised, we decided to just feed her the formula for a week and see how she reacts.

The first 3 days of our test were miserable. She seemed more agitated than normal, the feedings were longer as she struggled to take the formula down. She was still spitting up massive amounts of chunky fluid during and after each feeding - so much so that I was worried she wasn't keeping anything down.

And then one night my husband went to prepare a bottle in the kitchen. "When you put the water in here do you measure it on the side of the liner? Or the side of the bottle?" he asked.

(Now since day one we have been using Playtex drop-ins, per the advice our our lactation consultant. We have also used the Playtex Vent-Air bottles because I thought they looked cool, and happen to get a free one somewhere. Since we started using the formula though we have used the Drop-Ins solely as they are 8 ounces to the Vent-Airs 6, and were easy to mix the powder formula in. As for the actual liners, we have used Playtex brand, Target and most recent the generic brand at Rite-Aid that specifically say on the box "Use with Playtex Drop-In Bottles") Cut back to the conversation the other night...

"I use the numbers on the side of the bottle...and fill it up to the 6 with 3 scoops of formula...why do you ask?" I enquired.

"Because there are measurements on the side of the liners too, and they don't match up to the ones on the bottle," he said.

I rushed in to the kitchen (because I was baffled) and we did an experiment. We poured 6 ounces of bottled water into the Vent-Air bottles and then poured it back into the Drop-In bottles. What was 6 ounces of water in the Vent-Air was actually at the 8 ounce mark on the side of the Drop-In Bottle!!! The markings of the liners were actually correct, and the 6 ounces of water lined up with the 6 ounce mark...so it is the liner bottles that are incorrect. We then got out my liquid measuring cup in the kitchen and confirmed that the measurements on the outside of the bottle are indeed wrong.

So this entire time we had been giving her 3 scoops of formula with only 4 ounces of water, a concentrated mix of liquid, which was making her terribly uncomfortable. Ever since this revelation feedings have been significantly easier...I wouldn't say like night and day, but she does not struggle to take down the formula like she had those few days on the concentrated mix. She still spits up, but we have just come to grips with the fact she is a happy spitter.

So the moral of this tale is that if you are using Playtex Drop-In Bottle System, please do yourself a favor and measure the water outside the bottle to make sure you are using the correct water to powder ratio!!

OxiClean: the magical powdery substance made by wizards

Want to make your whites whiter? OxiClean!

Red wine on the carpet? OxiClean!!

Got spit-up on the shoulder of all your shirts? OxiClean!!!

Did your baby not poop for 2 days and then have the poop of the century, getting it all over her clothes, your clothes and anything within a two foot radius? OxiClean!!!!

Did your dog manage to throw up on the tiny carpet in your living room, when the rest of your house is hardwood...twice (right after the colossal diaper madness)? OxiClean!!!!!

Husband go out for drinks with his co-workers and leave you home with a crying baby? OxiClean!!!!!

Well, for that last one I recommend a bottle of red wine, but if you spill it on the carpet and have your OxiClean handy you are golden! I am telling you, this stuff is made by wizards, or the devil, or some mystical being that has magical powers, like Voldemort or Gandolf. A little scoop of OxiClean and few cups of water will take the poop, throw-up, pee or adult beverage out of any fabric. I highly recommend that everyone, with baby or dog (or man baby for that matter) to pick some up.

Pour a little out for Billy Mays when you do...

TSCHTTTT!!!

I recently saw an episode of the Dog Whisperer where Caesar Milan had on a t-shirt that said "TSCHTTT!" and after a few seconds I realized that TSCHTTT is actually the onomatopoetic word for the sound Caesar makes when training dogs. I should really say when he is "rehabilitating dogs" as he "trains humans." HA!

Anyhoo- the point of my story is that I just had a trying experience when I took the pooch, along with Marlo in her stroller, out for a walk on this glorious day in New England. It has been 13 weeks and 4 days since my last walk with the pooch (I know this because it was the day my water broke) and it was actually the first time I have been able to take Marlo for a stroll, other than running across to the convenience store to grab milk (I mean a package of ho-hos). For those of you that don't know my pooch (whose name is Ellie, but we call her pooch all the time it just stuck), she is a rescue dog we adopted almost 4 years ago from a kennel in Virginia. We got her at 10-weeks old and were told at the time she was a beagle mix and would probably be about 30 pounds. Well, she quickly sprouted these giant long skinny legs like a greyhound, and packed on the pounds, and now weighs in at a svelte 65 bones. She is a beautiful dog, and I think she knows it, as she uses those puppy dog eyes to get anything and everything from my husband and I. She has taken over all of our living room furniture (and ruined every wooden piece of furniture when she was a puppy), she always gets to have some of our dinners, and is constantly spoiled with bones and other fancy chew toys. She is and will always be my furry baby.

But on our walk this afternoon I wanted to unhook the leash and let her go on her way. I don't know whether it is because I haven't walked her in months or because she was mad that Marlo was with us, but she was pulling like she has never pulled before...zigging and zagging around the front of the stroller, behind the stroller, between me and the stroller. At one point she cut in front of us so fast that I actually ran over her back leg with the stroller, which I felt terribly about but it was unavoidable, and she let out this horrible yelp. She has never been the best walker in the world, but this was a new level of craziness. After just two blocks of this I tried to re-set her...

I brought her back next to me, put her on what I call the "short leash" (basically have her leash wrapped in my hand so it is only a few inches long) and started again. I tried to not let her get in front of the carriage as Caesar always says on the Dog Whisperer. When she would try to go between the stroller and I would pull her back and give her a TSCHTTT! We probably looked like a bunch of crazy people stopping and starting and making weird noises. At the point where the pooch pulled out into the street I decided to cut our walk short and head to the dog park. Ellie did her usual sniff butts, prance around a bit and stand in the corner routine, so we left shortly after we arrived. On our walk home she was much better behaved, but I think she was exhausted after a little bum sniffing.

I now have a new found respect for all those mothers I would see walking their dog while pushing a stroller. I used to think I can't wait for that to be me! Hopefully after a more practice we will get into a comfortable groove. At least that fresh air did some good - my girls are both asleep and I finally have some time to myself :)

Anyone have any advice about walking dogs alongside a stroller? Any experiences you want to share?

TSCHTTT!!!