Pick Parlee Farms

It's time for pick-your-own season.  The season that starts with robust, red strawberries that smell of the sun and end with pumpkins waiting patiently for a face.  This is an unabashed promotion of my favorite place, which I'm almost loathe to tell you about, as I don't want to spoil the uncrowded, not-in-Boston-anymore feel.

Bypass the farms close to the city and those that (gasp) make you pay to enter.  Go straight up to Parlee Farms in Tyngsborough.  It may take you a while, but it's well worth it.  Everything I pick there tastes better, not just better than the grocery, but better than every other pick-your-own place.  On Friday, my kids and I sat amongst the long-rows of knee-high plants and had a hard time choosing which berries we would pick.  Every one was a perfect, magazine-style berry, there are not enough metaphors to describe this fruit.  Evenly red, perfectly shaped, lovely green top.  But they tasted every better - warm and luscious.  My kids had berry-stained fingers and chins all day. 

In a few weeks, the blueberries will be ready.  The last time I went, people left the fields with buckets full of the nickel-sized fruit.  So juicy and sweet and so easy for little hands to pick.  Apple season is as picture-book as you can imagine with hay rides and hay mazes and long lines of pumpkins. 

There is also a small animal petting area to keep your kids busy - baby goats, bunnies, and chickens.  Bring some change for the feeding machines. 

In addition to the fruit, I'd drive all the way up Route 3 for the donuts.  Depending on what they're picking, the donut changes.  So right now, it's strawberry donuts.  Little golf-ball sized bites of melt-in-your mouth pleasure.  The batter is mixed with pureed strawberries and then the cooked nuggets are rolled in sugar.  Hot off the old-style, automated cooker (fun for kids to watch), these are probably one of the five best things I've ever tasted...and I eat a lot!  Although the strawberry shortcake from the farmstand is also a can't miss.  They use their own strawberries, a good biscuit, and top it with ice cream and whipped cream.  It's like everything you'd expect from a fresh, farm dessert.

Before you head to the farm, and you really must, check the site or their Facebook page for a status of the picking conditions.  They're good about preventing over-picking, which means sometimes the farm closes early.  It's best to go early in the morning when the fruit is still plentiful and before it gets too hot.  Strawberry season is winding down, so if you miss it, put blueberry season on your calendar.  I hope it becomes "the" place to pick for your family.

Radio Silence and the Art of Being Present

This weekend, my husband and I took the kids to a retreat with our synagogue. We stayed in a cabin, took walks in the woods, sang with the kids and made some new friends.

I was pretty nervous about going on this trip, since our kids are so young (2 years and 4 months). We weren't sure how they would do sleeping in the same room (they were great) or whether there would be other kids that young (there were) or if it would rain the entire time (it did, it didn't matter). But taking two young kids into the woods to uncertain sleeping and potty conditions was not the scariest thing we did this weekend.

Oh no, in the spirit of really getting away and observing shabbat, we turned off our cellphones. The entire time we were there.

I am a little embarrassed to tell you that this was even a big deal. What do I do on my phone that is so important anyway? Tool around on facebook? Be alerted that crocs are on sale at zulily? Schedule playdates for next week? Really. I am not determining the fate of the free world here. I am just so used to having the phone at all times, whipping it out to take pictures, look up the answer to a question, or read a book or some blogs.

Or check the time. My husband doesn't wear a watch and not having the phone clock totally stumped him.

I am most guilty of being addicted to the phone while nursing. Having the phone makes the time I am tied to the rocking chair a little adult break for me. Of course, when I am having that break, I am not paying attention to my daughter. I'm nursing her, but a good portion of my attention is on the palm of my hand.

It is important to me that my children feel like I am fully engaged with them. But I struggle with activities that honestly don't require my full attention, like nursing my daughter or watching my son take a bath. My mind wanders to the things I could be taking care of, the phone call to the roofer, the mess in the kitchen, the load of laundry that needs to go into the dryer. I like the idea of being fully present and really appreciating the little moments I have with my kids while they are so small. But there is just so much to do - those sippy cups really do have to be washed or my kid can't drink his milk later. And trying to be fully engaged in some of our daily activities is just mind-numbingly boring. Seriously, kid. Just eat the yogurt and let's move on.

The work of mothering is interesting like that - one moment you are bored to tears because FOR GOD'S SAKE GET OFF THE POTTY ALREADY YOU HAVE BEEN SITTING THERE FOR A HALF HOUR AND NO I DON'T WANT TO READ HOP ON POP AGAIN and the next moment you are totally overwhelmed because THERE IS ONLY ONE OF ME I KNOW YOU NEED YOUR MILK RIGHT THIS SECOND JUST HANG ON &*@*&% I AM COVERED IN POOP AGAIN.

ahem.

What I am saying is one second I'm really struggling the stay afloat, and the next I'm struggling to stay awake. What kind of crazy job is this? How am I supposed to be fully present when my day never seems to progress at the right pace for me?

If you have any answers for this, please leave them in the comments. Seriously - how does this work for you guys?

For me, I guess I'm going to practice. I am going to start by really cutting back on the phone. I may have to multitask between answering my 30th "why" question in a row and making dinner because we really do have to eat. I don't have to multitask between tummy time and twitter, because when it comes down to it, twitter just isn't important enough.

Morning, Noon & Night Sickness

a guest post by a close friend soon-to-be- Mama T

The first thing you learn is that ‘morning’ sickness is a total misnomer, it is all day sickness. Some women have it worse than others, and I had it pretty bad. I read one pregnancy book that said “welcome to the queasies” and I almost threw the book out the window. What I had was not “the queasies”, it was full out vomiting all day every day.

So I tried every remedy that I could find online, in books, advice from friends and family, doctors, etc. If it was out there, I tried it. So I wanted to share those remedies in case it will help another Mama-to-be, and mostly to let you know that you are not alone!

Personally I was unable to control the morning sickness with home remedies and ended up having to take Zofran due to dehydration (the other option for me was to be admitted to the hospital for IV fluids, so I chose the less invasive route). If you are unable to keep down any water or liquids then definitely contact your doctor right away, or if you have signs of dehydration (infrequent dark urination, loss of skin elasticity, dizziness/fainting, etc), as dehydration can be harmful to your baby or this could be a more serious form of morning sickness called Hyperemesis gravidarum.

I was very resistant to taking Zofran (generic name is Ondansetron), since though it seems many women are prescribed it for morning sickness, the FDA has issued a B rating, so it has not been adequately studied in humans but no side effects were found in animals studies (check out www.safefetus.com for ratings on any medications). My husband did some research and found that the NIH has done a study where they found no negative side effects from Zofran in pregnancy, which helped me to feel a little better about taking it.

Here is a list of things that I tried (yes, I tried them all!):

·           Take your pre-natal vitamins! No, this doesn’t help with morning sickness, but it very important for the baby, especially if you are vomiting up all your meals. If your vitamin is making your sickness worse, talk to your doctor about a different brand/type. Some women have trouble swallowing the pills and end up taking chewable vitamins.

·           When you wake up in the middle of the night between 2-4am, eat a snack. This will help with sickness in the morning time, because as my doctor explained morning sickness is paradoxical, meaning that the more empty your stomach, the more sick you feel.

·           Eat small meals often- eat every 1-2 hours, whatever you can keep down, this goes along with the point above- so that your stomach is never empty.

·           Try sucking on Preggie Pops or hard candies. I found these to relive some of the nausea (not the vomiting though). Regular lollipops and hard candies worked just as well for me, for some women gum works or ginger flavor hard candies.

·           Drink fluids 1/2 hour before or after a meal, but not with meals- this is SO much harder than it sounds!

·           Drink small amounts of fluids during the day to avoid dehydration- if you can’t drink water (like me), try gingerale or seltzer, whatever you are able to drink. And avoid diuretics like coffee or tea that will make you more dehydrated.

·           Try acupuncture. I know this is not for everyone, but I did find some relief from it. Make sure to do your research and find a professional with experience and training treating pregnant women.

·           Foods to try: soda crackers (saltines with or without salt), lemonade/lemons, gingerale or ginger cookies (anything with ginger in it), caffeine-free ginger tea, watermelon. Or basically just eat whatever doesn’t smell horrible. For me it ended up being applesauce, crackers, pasta, cantaloupe, graham crackers, plain bagels, plain yogurt and just plain carbs. “Some women find that carbohydrates are most appealing when they feel nauseated, but one small study found that high-protein foods were more likely to ease symptoms” From Baby Center- however I say eat whatever you can keep down!  Foods high in protein include: peanut butter on apple slices or celery; nuts; cheese; crackers; milk; cottage cheese; soy, and yogurt.

·           Foods to avoid: fatty foods, strong smelling foods, fried foods or spicy foods.

·           Eat soda crackers (or whatever you can stomach) 15 minutes before getting out of bed in the morning

·           Get out of bed slowly in the morning.

·           Aromatherapy- lemons, ginger, lavender, peppermint- were some of the smells recommended.

·           Try wearing Sea bands. You can find these in the pharmacy, they put pressure on your inner wrist in the area that is supposed to relieve sea-sickness, the same pressure points used for morning sickness.

·           Avoid foods and smells that increase nausea. Um yeah, for me that was basically everything.

·           Avoid warm places (feeling hot adds to nausea)

·           Exercise. Haha, I will not lie, I did not do much exercising. Although getting outside and taking a walk (in an area without strong smells) did seem to help.

·           Vitamin B6 taken as a combination with the antihistamine doxylamine. In the United States this combination can be recreated by using Vitamin B6 along with over-the-counter Unisom SleepTabs (Not SleepGels or SleepMelts). NOTE: I would not recommend trying this without consulting your doctor, my doctor did recommend it for me, he called it the “miracle pills” (although it didn’t work for me), but it must work for some women!

My doctor said the absolute most important thing is to stay hydrated, so he was not too concerned that I was throwing up all my meals, but more worried that I couldn’t tolerate liquids and became dehydrated. He explained that the baby feeds off the vitamins already in my body, so as long as I could keep down my pre-natal vitamin, food intake was not that important.

The good news is that for most women the symptoms resolve by the end of the first trimester (12-14 weeks). Usually symptoms peak at week 10, so you may have an end in sight! However, some of us unlucky ladies it continues on into the second trimester and for some poor women it continues throughout the entire pregnancy. Based on my internet research symptoms are often worse and persist longer for women carrying multiples.

There Will Come a Time

There will come a time, sometime between your toddler’s 2^nd and 3^rd birthday, when you will encounter an infant. It may be a new addition to your family, a new niece or nephew, or even a friend’s child. But whatever the connection to you, holding an infant will provide the direct comparison that will suddenly make clear something you’ve maybe given passing thought to, but never really noticed: your baby is no longer a baby.

You start thinking beyond the startling physical differences between an infant and a toddler. You realize that so many of the early lessons you spent the first two years working on have taken hold. She eats with a fork and a spoon, says please and thank you, knows how to go on the potty (but chooses not to), knows how to dress herself (but chooses not to), walks, runs – sits cross-legged on the floor!

She has opinions. Despite your best efforts and a wardrobe full of blue and purple, she loves the color pink; and even though you tried to push Backyardigans (because you like the songs) she only wants to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. She loves playing in her kitchen but also loves playing with her trains and reading her favorite book about transportation.

Yes, she stills throws tantrums like a pro at least once a day, but despite this she is amazingly capable of communicating her wants and needs. You can have conversations. She has thoughts on certain things; remembers and recounts events from months ago; is not afraid to say, “I don’t know” or “why?” or “what’s that?”

On a long car trip you’ll think she’s fallen asleep but when you look back you’ll see she’s just staring thoughtfully out the window – has been for almost an hour. And when you ask her what she’s thinking about she’ll just smile. Because even though only a few months earlier she would dissolve into tears when you couldn’t read her mind and she couldn’t find the words, now the realization that her thoughts are hers alone is a delightful discovery – something she can hold onto in a time when she is almost constantly being told to “share”.

And one night you’ll be keeping her company as she falls asleep. You’ll be sitting uncomfortably on the floor, resting your head on the mattress next to her. And as you look at her face from this angle, you’ll notice that in this lighting, her features softened by the dim light and the shadow of the pillow giving definition to her normally round cheek, you imagine you can almost see the teenager she will become.

And your heart will just ache with the fullness of it all. Because there will come a time when she will go to school, will go for a bike ride with friends, ride a plane to visit grandma without you. There will come a time when she will learn to drive, stay up all night finishing a paper, fall in love, have her heart broken. Your heart will be filled with all these things, with hopes and with love, and with the amazing realization that in less than 3 years she has become this person and will continue to grow and change in the years to come. But you’ll also be in awe of the fact that, when you think back to that first moment or those first few days, that she was always herself - that you saw this little spark of self from the very beginning.

And you’ll feel so very lucky.

Another Tooth - Really?

So after 10 months and 5, (make that 6 as of last night), teeth, you think I'd see the signs of teething coming. First the diaper rash - little red butt cheeks and some tender girlie areas. Then, the diarrhea and warm temperature. Finally, the majorly disrupted sleep.

But no. It takes me until the 3rd or 4th wake up in as many hours to figure out (generally pointed out through sleepy mumbles by my husband) that Sophia is teething. It should be obvious - we've been lucky that she's been a great sleeper since the beginning. Her usual m.o. is 7:15p till 6:15a straight through.

It's during these wake ups that I stumble around looking for the ibuprofen in the low light, trying not to wake Sophia (or me) anymore than we already are. Once I give her some, it's lights out for the rest of the night. Sorry honey...mommy will catch on soon. Honest.
After talking to a wizened mom (she has a 6 and 8 year old) who was able to tell within 30 seconds of holding her that she was teething by the way her jaw was clenched, I cut myself some slack.

"Honey, I've been through over 40 teeth + molars and 8 years of mommyhood. That's like 25 in mom-years. You've been through 10 months. Don't worry, it'll come." These words were like music to my ears. Everything does take time and experience. I can easily tell when Sophia is hungry or tired now. Or when she just needs to get outside and have fresh air. Because it's something I've been learning about her for the best 10 months, every day.

So we're 6 teeth into a 20 tooth set. A little more than a quarter through. I promise - I'll notice the signs next time and we'll all get a good night's sleep.