Where I Find "My People"

Being a stay at home mom can be lonely, especially when both your kids are in school. You get them up, get them dressed, feed them, pack their lunches, argue with them about not watching tv before school, get their school stuff together, bundle them up, strap them in the car, drop them off at their respective schools...and then you are by yourself. 

You have responsibilities, like errands and things around the house, but you don't have a job to go to and a boss to whom you report. If I wanted, I guess I could sit on the couch all day and watch tv and eat Bon Bons. But I don't, and I don't know another stay at home mom who does.

So as not to feel so lonely you are pushed over the edge, it is important for someone like me to be part of a community, It is important to surround yourself with likeminded individuals, who share the same interests. Some people do this through church. Some people have weekly book clubs. Some people do this through mom groups. Some people get very involved in their kid's school. Some people do this through exercise classes (I had my first experience with SoulCycle last week and I have words...but that is for another post).

My community is a little unconventional.

Sure I have the people I see at the gym every morning, and I have mom friends that I meet for lunch, and play dates, as well as being an active parent at both of my children's school, but I tend to find my peace and "my people" through a different, more convenient, outlet.

I am a very creative person - I need to do something creative every day or I feel funny, or empty. Whether it is taking photos, writing, playing the piano, making dolls in my studio, decorating my house, arranging flowers - something needs to stimulate the right side of my brain on a daily basis. To satisfy this creative need, and my need for a creative community, I take online photography classes. I know this sounds strange, but through The Define School of online photography I have met some amazing, creative, similar individuals. By "met" I mean I met the online - I have never actually met these people in real life. That alone sounds really weird, especially to my parents generation I am sure.

Each of the classes I have taken (I think I have 6 under my belt - each 4 weeks) are led by the most ridiculously talented and inspiring women, who have pushed my creative boundaries and made me the "Unapologetic Artist" (also the name of my favorite class I have taken at Define, taught by my dear friend Carolyn Mara Harris, who is also the most bold and brilliant artist I have ever come across - check her out on Instagram @carolyn_mara) that I am today.

one of my shots from my Unapologetic Artist Class

Each time I take class there I am giddy with excitement when it starts, and teary-eyed when it ends. If you are like me and want to be part of something amazing with creative women and men all over the world, please check out The Define School.

Now, this second place I find "my people" is a place that I never thought I would EVER touch with a ten foot pole. I am not one for spiritual thoughts or beliefs. I am fine with others believing and practicing their religions, but I don't believe that there is an almighty being who is watching us and judging us and responsible for our behavior and whatnot. I don't believe the words in the bible should be taken as law, but rather a bunch of stories, some with valuable lessons and themes, others just pure crazy fiction.

With that said, I do feel that we all have an energy around and in us, and that there are certain things we can do to shift and move that energy for the positive.

Last year was a tough one for my family, with losses on both sides, illnesses, injuries and just over all bad luck. A friend of mine, and past teacher at Define, happen to post something on Facebook that a friend of her's commented on. That friend happen to be the actress Carrie-Anne Moss of Matrix (and now Jessica Jones) fame. I inquired how they knew each other and my friend pointed me to Carrie-Anne's website, Annapurnaliving.com. At the time Annapurna was offering a 10-day simple meditation course.

Meditation? Chanting and humming and that baloney? Not for me...or is it?

I needed something calming and positive in my life. I needed way to control the stress and anxiety I was starting to feel. I needed a little quiet in my life. I am not one to shy away from trying new things, so I signed up. And boy am I glad I did.

Carrie-Anne is this magical human being. The kind of human being that I wish I was. She is so at peace in her life, and so deep in her thoughts and just the type of person that I really want to be. Every day she would send us a video with some inspirational words, and every day I would anxiously await the ding from my computer telling me I had new mail, hoping it was from Carrie-Anne. I couldn't wait for my kids to go to school and husband to go to work so I could sit on my sheepskin and just "tune in."

This month Carrie-Anne launched The Fierce Grace Collective. As soon as the first email announcing this community/collective (whatever you want to call it) was sent out, I knew I had to be a part of it. For a tiny monthly fee, you join an online community of like-minded women, seeking spiritual support and calming guidance, led by the ethereal Carrie-Anne. We practice our mediation daily (a new one each week), have creative prompts (things to write in a journal about, or even something you can photograph and share) and nightly visualizations (this is where you lay down and listen to Carrie-Anne's calming voice share some of her wisdom and guidance).

At the moment there are about 200 of us, literally all over the globe. There is an online community where we are able to share thoughts and feelings with each other too...and you know I have thoughts and feelings!

Many of these women are stay at home moms like me, looking for some direction in their lives, trying to figure out what is next, so I am excited to get to know them and be on this journey with them.

"My people" might not be able to meet me for tea, as they are scattered all over the globe, and I have never met most of them in person, but we share common interests and passions and are like-minded individuals, and that is all that matters to me. I have real friends in my life, people I see on a daily basis, and talk to on the phone, but I just so happens to have a lot of friends that I can only communicate with through a screen! Welcome to 2016!

Where do you find your people???

...Wash me in the water

"If you are comfortable in your life, then you really aren't living..." - ME (I will explain below!)

I am honored to say I among a privileged group of ladies that has had the opportunity to get in front of the uber talented Michelle Gardella's camera as part of her River Story project. Here is a sneak peek at the amazing results: 

www.michellegardella.com, Michelle Gardella Photographer

I know, right? Amazing!!

So about the day...

I traveled down to Conncecticut and had my make-up done by super talented Julie Rondini of Simply Gorgeous by Erin Make-Up, then drove about an hour into the country and met Michelle at our rendezvous point by the Salmon River. When I pulled into the parking area where we were to meet I was incredibly nervous. Like stomach churning before a dance performance nervous. I was about to get into an evening gown in the woods and travel into a flowing river in the middle of nowhere with a stranger. Who does this? 

But as soon as Michelle and I started talking, I started to immediately relax. She has this presence about her - a calming force - that makes you feel like you have known her for 20 years as soon as you meet her. 

The florist who did my floral crown, Jakki of Jakkelyn Iris Flowers, met us, fitted my crown and then off we drove to what Michelle calls a place where the "whispers of our ancient Grandmothers are undeniable." Awesome. 

The weather was a perfect 74 degrees. The sun was setting and casting a glow like I had never seen. The river water was warm and inviting...and in I went. 

As soon as I entered the water a hawk flew over Michelle and I...then another large bird...then a fish jumped out of the water...then a dragonfly almost landed on my head. I was like Mother Nature calling all my children to me. It was incredible. 

Here we were in this magical setting, just the two of us exploring the natural ebbs and flows of the river and sharing an hour together that I will never forget. We talked about our kids, our families, our daily lives. We laughed about what our bodies have become after having children. We talked about our struggles and stresses. We shared time that I will never forget. 

I told Michelle I was up for doing absolutely anything she wanted me to do in the river, so she had me do some underwater shots. Just looking at this photo makes me want to drive back to the river and dive in!

Michelle Gardella Photographer, www.michellegardella.com

I truly believe that if you are comfortable in your life, you aren't really living...let me explain. 

The idea of this photo shoot gave me butterflies. At first they were exciting butterflies, but the closer I got to the date, it was more like sick to my stomach butterflies. I was nervous about the whole situation - being in a remote location by myself, being gone the whole day from my kids, getting hurt while in the river, having the photos not turn out, etc. - for days before the actual shoot. But look at the results (and these are the only two photos I have seen so far)! And every time I think about the experience it makes me incredibly happy - that I did something for myself, that I did something I have never done before, that I met someone I will never forget, that she made me feel like I was truly a beautiful person and not just a stay at home mom who wears yoga pants every day. 

It's the same with other things in my life, whether it be going out to dinner with people I have never met before, or attending an event with my husband, starting a new class with one of my kids, showing my jewelry at a show, talking in front of other parents at my kid's school. All of these things make me nervous for days in advance, but after the fact, they all bring me joy and make me realize that all that worrying was for nothing. 

I could just go about my daily life, not sign up for anything at my kid's school, not attend events with my husband, not put my talents out there to be judged, stay home on the couch instead of going out and doing new things, but what kind of life would that be? No life at all. 

I challenge you to find your own version of a River Story photo shoot! Find something you have been wanting to do, and instead of putting it off because it would make you uncomfortable, just do it! Sign up for that half marathon! Take that cooking class! Go on that girl's weekend trip! Go out to dinner with those parents you like from your kids school - you could be making a friend for a lifetime! 

Or, schedule your own River Story photo shoot with Michelle Gardella. It is an experience of a life time - until I meet her again next summer in the river with my mother and daughters!! 

Take me to the river...wash me in the water!

Finding the Light

My new photography class (which I will eventually write a full post about) is all about finding the natural light in your house, as well as metering the light inside and outside...Here are some of my favorite shots from the past two weeks. 

Photo-a-day, Journaling and Snail Mail, oh my!

Six months ago I thought Instagram was just some silly app where you put old-timey filters on your photos and made them look like Polaroids from the 70s. Oh, friends, how wrong I was. Through Instagram I have connected with people all over the world - Dubai, South Africa, Tokyo, Australia and Amsterdam to name a few - who share my love (more like obsession) of photography and my passion for documenting my life in photos.

It was through Instagram that I was reconnected with old friends who started an online iPhoneography school this year. The iArtist Collective is one of the main reasons I have this burning passion to document my families doings. As I wrote about on the blog last year, I was lucky enough to take a class with the brilliant Carolyn Mara and she awoke my inner artist like I never thought she could. The iArtist Collective is offering up their second round of classes in February - if you are looking for a creative challenge you should definitely check them out! 

FMS Photo a day prompt list for January

I also participate in photo-a-day challenges - and you should join me!

For the past six months I have done the Fat Mum Slim's Photo-a-day challenge (the most popular on IG - and the most creative I think). Everyday you are given a prompt or subject and you take a photo that you think best represents that prompt and share it with the IG community. This year I am also taking on two other photo-a-day challenges - the Sunny Pic Challenge and #365_today (there is also another called #my_365 - so many!). Why? Because I am crazy and it is an excuse to take even more silly photos of me in wigs or my kids dancing around.

#snailmailrevival package
courtesy of @traciling

And through IG I met an amazing group of ladies who have started a project called Snail Mail Revival.  They pair you up with a pen pal from all over the world and you exchange fun little quirky gifts and trinkets with them from your neck of the woods. Such an amazing and simple concept. I am already getting my first package for my pen plan in Texas together. Who doesn't love getting mail? Check out The Multi Task Mom's blog for more details. 

Through Day One I am keeping
a journal alongside my daily
photos on IG

And my last undertaking this year will be to keep a daily journal via the Day One app on both my iPad and iPhone. In addition to taking all these photos of my daily life, I want to remember little things...like that Val calls pizza "pete-zy" and that M started talking with an English accent today totally out of the blue. Crazy kids.

Are you starting any fun little projects this year? Be sure to check out all of mine above and follow me on Instagram @bostonbabymama.

Happy New Year!

My Creative Makeover: Self + Art Class at the iArtist Collective

Some of my favorite shots from Self + Art class

You've seen it a million times. The mother getting a makeover on TV after spending so many years putting her children first, and letting herself go. She hasn't bought new clothes in years, and her hair is an unruly mess. For a few moments she is the center of attention. She is pampered and plucked and made to feel like queen for a day. She once agains feels like her old self.

Not too long ago I let my inner-artist go. I used to design jewelry for a living (and I was good at it) so my work day would be spent doing something creative that I loved to do. Once kids came into the picture I no longer had the time to dedicate to jewelry so I found other creative outlets and crafts that I could spend a few minutes here and there on. But then life got in the way, and my studio got dusty as I was spending what little time I had to myself on other things. I had no creative outlet, besides snapping photos of my kids here and there (ok, not just here and there, but they weren't of the quality of photos that I wished they were) and it made me feel like something was missing.

Week 1 assignment: My little elven fairy in the woods

Over the summer I discovered a community of amateur (and professional) photographers like me on Instagram. I had used IG in the past here and there, but had no idea as to its true potential. My creativity was sparked by participating on Fatmumslim's photo-a-day contests (see this past post for more details) and I was meeting people from all over the globe who shared a common interest in photography and other creative things. Through IG I reconnected with a dear friend from high school who told me about this amazing online iPhotography (meaning with your phone) school she and two other friends were starting - the iArtist Collective. Sounded like just the thing I needed to get my creative juices flowing.

I decided to take the Self + Art class given by the uber talented photographer Carolyn Mara Borlenghi. I will be honest, I wasn't going to take this class at first. I was scared of it. I was scared at how talented Carolyn was and felt I had no business being in her class with my amateur photography skills. But you know what? I needed a challenge. I needed someone to push me creatively. I needed someone to spark that passion in my for something artistic again.

Pants off dance off :)

And damn did she light a fire within me! I know that sounds so cheesy, but this class changed me in some way. It changed the way I look at things through my camera - whether on my iPhone or my DSLR. It changed the way I look at things around me. I feel like when I am driving now I see potential photographic masterpieces all around. I am not afraid to get out of my comfort zone either...I am comfortable pushing my own artistic boundaries. I took off my pants and danced in front
of a camera for crying out loud! And I think it is one of my favorite photos I have ever taken.

Each week she gave us assignments that excited and scared us at the same time. Once we completed the assignments we shared them with the rest of the class online and were given amazing critiques that helped each of us all grow as artists. Each time I posted something new I got a rush of anxiety - will they like it? Will they hate it? What will they say in their critiques? I felt like I was back at school again, but I loved every second of it!

Carolyn's class gave my creativity the polish and pluck that it so desperately needed. My inner artist has been given a makeover! It was an experience that I will never forget, and one that I can't recommend enough.

If you are interested in taking an iPhotography class with the iArtist Collective please visit their site for more details! 






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