What to Play with a Terrible No-Good Sport

I am a competitive person. I am the daughter of a professional athlete, and I think because of that I have always been an ultra competitive person in some aspects of my life. I wanted to be the first person down the hill when we went skiing. I wanted to have the best backhand and the fastest serve at tennis camp. If you have it, I want it bigger and faster and with more gadgets (cars, cameras, phones, etc.). If I bake a cake, it is going to be the best looking (probably not tasting) cake you have seen. And when it comes to board games - let's just say I once made a grown man cry when he wouldn't make a trade with me in Monopoly (at least that is how the story goes when the sister, who is also one of my closest friends, of said man tells it after a couple drinks). 

It is not one of my best qualities, I know this, but it is not something that I rub in people's faces. It is truly for personal reasons that I want to "win." I don't see anything wrong with wanting to win when you are in any sort of competition. I want my girls to grow up wanting to win things, and doing their best to do so. I want them to be competitive like I am. It is, of course, ok if they do not win, but I want them to want to win. I do see a problem with throwing a tantrum (no matter what your age) when you do lose, or rubbing it in people's faces when you do win. Phew - that was a wordy paragraph - on to my point!

My 3 year old, Val,  is a very poor sport. This is something that we have recently discovered after playing many games of Disney Princess themed Candyland while on vacation last week. 

Sure, we have played board games with her in the past, but they are either cooperative ones, where you all work together towards a common goal, or if it is one where there is a winner, she usually gets board after five minutes and walks away. This did not happen with Candyland. 

The first few times we played, her sister won. We had the conversation about being a good sport versus a bad sport, and we all congratulated Marlo on her win and went about our business. But then the next time Val won, and the Competitive Kraken was released...

She kept asking to play the game, and now while we played she would whine after every turn if she wasn't in the lead. When it was everyone else's turn she would say to us, "Mom, don't win. I want to win. Dad, please don't win. I really want to win. You should lose." I would look at her and say, "anyone can win Val, we are still playing. Just wait an see." To which she would respond some sort of whiney response like, "but I want to win! You can't win!" 

She would be in the lead most games, and then get a card that sent her back behind everyone else...and then lose her bloody mind. We would tell her to be a good sport, no one has won yet, she hasn't lost yet, yada, yada, yada. And then someone would get a card that sent them backwards too and her mood would immediately change now that someone else was in the losing spot. And then she would ultimately lose the game...and then lose her shit. 

We would then start the "poor sport" talk again, and tell her that she can't always win, but it went in one ear and out the other. "But I wanted to win!! I wanted you to lose!!" Man, we have our hands full with this one. 

We have now sworn off playing competitive board games with Val until she can learn to be a better sport. Thankfully at home in Boston, the majority of the games we do own are made by a company called Peaceable Kingdom. The idea is that when you play their boardgames, you are all working together as a team towards one common goal, whether it be to get to Mermaid Island before the witch does or free the bugs before the spider fall. Their board games are the perfect games to play with little competitive monkeys like my Val Gal. 

Our favorite cooperative games are the following: 

1. Hoot Owl Hoot - Everyone works together to get the baby owls to the nest before the sun comes up!

2. Mermaid Island - Similar structure to Hoot Owl Hoot - you have to get the mermaids to the center of the board without the witch getting them first, but this one you spin a spinner, instead of drawing cards. The girls especially love this one as we have named the three mermaid playing pieces. 

3. Willy's Wiggle Web - Santa just brought this one for the girls and it is already a big hit. It comes with paper webs that you stretch out and the kids have to cut (with the provided kid scissors) the bugs free without letting Willy the spider fall. 

Peaceable Kingdom offers a variety of other games, as well as matching games and puzzles (we have three different versions of these and the girls love them). 

So until Miss Val really understands the age old words from that Yo Gabba Gabba song "sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but it's ok. You try again!" we will be attempting to keep our kingdom peaceful by playing games from Peaceable Kingdom!! 

(And no this is not a sponsored post, I just really love what this company is doing!) 

Need Advice About M's New Sleeping Habits

Be careful what you think, or say aloud, about other parents or children. The universe hears you...

You see that kid throwing silverware on the floor at the table next to you? That will never be your kid, right? Just give it a few months.

You see that kid eating bread and butter for lunch and refusing anything else? What kind of mother is she to give her kid bread and butter for a meal? Just wait...your kid will stop eating that gourmet organic gluten-free stuff some day and will want nothing but bread and butter.

You hear that kid screaming on the playground? Didn't that parent tell her that she shouldn't scream in public like that? Oh wait, that was my kid?

And those poor parents who have kids that get up during the night, or end up with kids in their bed...don't they just put the kid back in their own bed? Don't they just not let the kids in their bed? Do their kids not get enough exercise during the day? Aren't their kids eating a big meal for dinner, thus making them full and in turn making them sleep through theia.a.sdjflq2o807777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

who sleeps with their arms out like this? 

Oh...I am sorry. I fell asleep on my keyboard. Why? Because aliens have come down from planet Zorflack and replaced my 3.9 year old with some being that refuses to sleep longer than 2 hour increments, that for some reason at night cannot go to the bathroom by herself and now refuses to actually sleep in her own bed.

My girls are great sleepers. That is something I have said out loud many times. Each of them slept through the night around 6 months old, without a hitch. M moved to her big girl bed shortly after she turned 2, without a hitch. Once she was potty trained (weeks after her third birthday) she began getting up once or twice during the night to use the potty. That is fine. My husband and I got in a pattern of alternating nights of getting up with her, so that one of us could get a good nights sleep. We had a good thing going.

This past summer she pretty much dropped her afternoon nap, and started going to sleep around 7:30. Most nights that she didn't nap she actually slept through the night, or just got up once. But oh those days are gone my friends.

For the past 3 weeks M gets up on average 5 times a night. I say on average because there have been nights where she has gotten up 8 times during the night. She has this thing about closing her bedroom door when she leaves it, so Hubs and I will hear her door shut, hear her pitter patter of feet down the hall and then hear one of the following:
- I have to go potty
- I need blue stars (meaning she needs her Cloud-B ladybug turned back on)
- Can I sleep with you?
- Can I sleep in the guest room?
- I need water
- I need to see Daddy
- I can't find Pooh Woobie
- I'm scared of my room
...yada yada yada.

After I have gotten up with her 2-3 times (and the clock is still in the PMs) I give my husband the elbow to signal he has been tagged in. I need sleep people. And the last few days I have been sick so I need my sleep even more. Not getting a good night sleep for this Mama equals Crankypants McGillicuddy (a close relation to Judgy McJudgerson from my last post).

So back to M...

So when she gets up and comes down the hall we instruct her to go to the potty by herself, to which she always replies "I can't." This is not the truth, as she goes all day long by herself. No matter how much we have lit the path to the bathroom, she refuses to go unless one of us is with her. We don't help her, we just stand at the door of the bathroom, then watch her walk back into her bedroom and get in bed, then we close the door to her bedroom. She has this thing about not being able to go into her own room, close the door on her own and then get into bed on her own - no matter how well lit her bedroom is.

But lately in addition to the going potty, and other special requests, she has often been telling us that she doesn't want to be alone in her room. When we she goes to get back in bed she starts screaming for us to stay in the room. You want your heart to be broken? Come to our house and watch M scream and cry from her bed, with arms reaching towards you, "don't leave me! You can't leave me in here alone!"

We have tried laying in there with her until she falls asleep, but it is impossible to escape without her hearing us. We have tried leaving her in there crying her eyes out, but she won't fall asleep, and we can only take too much of that "wait it out" torture.

So what ends up happening? One of two things:

1. We put her in the guest room half way through the night, where there is a big comfy king bed and lots of pillows. She still ends up getting up a few times after that, but doesn't fight going back to that bed.

2. We put her in our bed. And she sleeps soundly until I wake her up in the morning.

WTF??? She sleeps soundly? Last night my husband got up with her once, and then instead of fighting with her just put her in our bed the second time she got up (around 11 PM). The girl who normally wakes up at 6 AM at the absolute latest had to be waken up at 7:30. The day before she ended up in our bed around 2 AM and had to be woken up at 7:45 AM. HUH?

You know who isn't sleeping soundly? Everyone else in our bed. M sleeps with arms out, knees in my back, breathing in my face, snoring in my ear... it is like sleeping with a Great Dane between my husband and I. We have slept many a night these past 7.5 years with a dog in our bed (which I loathe as well) and seriously I would take the dog over the child. The dog goes to her own bed when I nudge her with my feet. I cannot say the same for the child.

I am not sure what has spawned this behavior. If we look at the time frame, M's sleep patterns have gotten much worse since she started at her new school. She seems to be really happy at this new school, and I have a warm and cozy feeling about everyone there. Hubs did some research and he discovered that when a child goes through a major life change (in this case a brand new school) it can affect their sleeping behavior.

Did she have a bad dream where something happened to her in her room? Sometimes she tells us that she did have a bad dream, but only if we ask if that is the case. Our sweet M is a little on the dramatic side, so it is hard for me to know if she is telling the truth about having bad dreams, because she could just be acting out something she saw on TV.

But what should we be doing? Should we be giving in and letting her sleep in a different room? Should we not allow her in our bed at all? How do we know if she is just playing with us?

I long for the days of 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I am so jealous of my friends who have kids that sleep through the night, and sleep past 7 AM. Hear that universe?

I would love some advice from you all. If you have ever gone through something similar please share your story!

Help me Obi Wan Kenobi...you are my only hope (I might still be asleep while typing this.)

Meal Time: Negotiations, False Promises and Empty Threats

I used to brag about M's eating habits here on the blog, feeling sorry for those parents out there whose kids only ate peanut butter and jelly or chicken fingers. I had a 3 year old who would eat grilled pork chops, steak, all kinds of fish or curry chicken salad. Basically anything I would put in front of her she would at least try. When we would go out to restaurants with friends I wouldn't even look at the kids menu - I would order her a fancy appetizer and she would eat it while her friends would just pick at their hot dogs and french fries.

Those days are long gone.

For the past month or so M's diet has pretty much consisted of fruit, mac n' cheese and snacks. So many snacks.

I loathe meal time in our house now. I will go through a menu list with M, asking her if she wants this, or this, or this (all things she used to like) until she finally gives me a yes. Let's say that she asked for a ham and cheese sandwich. I make a half of sandwich, because I know she will only have a few bites at most and I am sick of wasting food on my children. I put the sandwich in front of her and she will poke at it and say something like "I don't want a sandwich!" I will tell her that she had other choices, and this is what she asked for, so this is what I made, and this is lunch...eat it. Then she will go into the "I'm not hungry..." whine, which is not true because five minutes before this she was screaming about how hungry she was...for a cookie, or some other treat.

And this is when the negotiations begin...

"If you eat your sandwich I will give you some cherries..."
"I don't want cherries."
"If you eat your sandwich I will give you a jellybean."
"Two jellybeans?"
"Fine, if you eat your sandwich I will give you two jellybeans."

M eats two bites of sandwich.

"I don't want anymore sandwich. Can I have ice cream?"
"Absolutely not. Eat your sandwich."
"I don't like this sandwich."
"Yes you do. You just ate one two days ago and loved it."

M picks apart the sandwich and sticks a finger in the mayo, smells it.

"What is this white stuff? I don't like this stuff."
"That's mayo, and yes you love it. You licked it off the spoon the other day and loved it."
"I don't like it on the sandwich."
"Eat your sandwich."
"I want a cheese sandwich."

I remove the ham. Viola! A cheese sandwich.

"I don't like cheese sandwiches."

I feel the anger bubbling up inside me. On one side of me is a stuborn three year old, and on the other is a 12 month old screaming at the top of her lungs because I just told her for the 100th time not to feed the pooch. Said 12 month old is now sticking her fingers down her throat, trying to gag herself - a new fun meal time activity that she thinks is hilarious.

"If you eat your sandwich, maybe we can go to Whole Foods for ice cream tomorrow."
"Can I get vanilla ice cream?"
"Yes if you eat your sandwich."

M takes one bite.

"Can I have ice cream now?"
"No, eat your sandwich."

M fakes taking a bite of her sandwich and thinks it is hysterical. Anger bubbling...

"M, you need to at least eat this part of your sandwich (I rip already tiny sandwich in half) or we aren't going to see Grandma tomorrow." This of course is an empty threat as we are already packed and ready to head to Rhode Island...
"I want to see Grandma!"
"Then eat your sandwich!"

"I have to go potty!"

Ah, the potty ploy. Whenever M doesn't want to eat her food she will tell me she has to go potty. She will go into the bathroom, settle herself atop the porcelain throne and read whatever magazine I have in there - for at least 5 minutes.

"Did you go potty?"
"Not yet mom!"

Another 5 minutes go by and she comes out of the bathroom, but races by the table into the playroom.

"OH HECK NO! Back to the table..."

Queue the meltdown.

If Daddy is home, this is when he will follow M around the house, with sandwich in hand and force feed her bites in between her laps around the house. I am not a big fan of this method, as I too am stubborn and think she should be sitting down at a table when eating. But, at least she is eating something. There is something about Daddy being home that gets the girls to eat their food.

But, because she isn't eating much at actual meal times, she is now snacking like crazy. I would rather just give her a bowl of grapes than not feed her between meals because I don't want to hear the whining constantly that she is hungry. I think the only way I could actually get her to eat what I make for her at every meal would be to sit a bowl of ice cream in front of her as incentive to finish her food. That is one way to win parent of the year.

Now her sister...she is another story...for another post.

Time flies when you have kids

When you first have kids everyone tells you, "before you know it they will be walking," or "you're gonna blink and they'll be teenagers!" You smile and nod and think how you actually wish time was flying by faster so that your baby would be older, and sleeping through the night, and possibly giving you a break from the crazy. At that moment you feel like the clock is in slow motion as your baby is taking forever to finish the bottle, or your kid is sitting on the potty for 30 minutes but refusing to do her business outside of her diaper. And damn do you wish you had a time machine when it is the "witching hour" on a day when no one napped, and no one likes what you made for dinner, and your husbands train is delayed...and you are out of wine.

But then you do blink, and (if you are me) that baby who took so long to sleep through the night will be one year old in 2 weeks and about to take her first step. And that child who never wanted to use the potty has been out of diapers for almost a year, and will be going to school 5 days a week in a few
weeks, and wearing size 6 clothing! Holy shit, where has the time gone?!

They say time flies when you are having fun, and while being a parent isn't all fun and games (I would say about 50% is and the other 50% is blood, sweat, tears and poop), from the moment you become a parent you feel like your life is in fast forward. When you are pregnant it is like your life is in slow motion, but as soon as that baby comes out someone hits a button and life speeds by. I wish I could grab hold of my life remote and just press pause for a second, because I absolutely love my daughters at their current ages.

M will be 4 in December. FOUR! Over the summer she has blossomed into this amazing little lady. She wants to do everything for herself, and is constantly asking if I need help. She actually asked to do laundry the other day. WHAT? I gave her a hamper full of clothes and she put everything in the washing machine, added the soap I gave her in the little cup, turned the dial to the picture of the shirt, and then pressed the triangle button (her favorite step). She just asked me if I wanted her to do the dishes that are in the sink? I don't know what has come over her, but I love it.

Val will be a year in just a few short weeks. I seriously feel like it was just yesterday that my water broke. I still remember every second of being in the hospital, my epidurals not working, and finally meeting my little smushy faced, brown-eyed beauty. And here we are a year later and she will be taking her first step any day now. I can't get enough of her at this age though - she is so affectionate and happy and easygoing. She spends most of her day laughing and crawling towards things where she can pull herself up (be it the ottoman, toy storage, my legs or the dogs body, which is her current favorite) and once she is standing she just flashes that 4-toothed smile
and giggles that giggle which makes my heart melt.

Before I know it my babies will be teenagers, and while I really don't want them to get older than they are now, I seriously can't wait to see where their lives take them. If the way they act now is any indication of how their lives will turn out, in 25 years M will be accepting the Academy Award for Best Actress for her portrayal as Rapunzel in the life action version of the fairy tale, and Val will be preparing for the upcoming US Open and hoping for her third straight win (this actually has nothing to do with the way Val acts now, I just know she will be the athlete of our family, and with the junk in the trunk she has now I picture her having the body of Serena Williams...and maybe her money too.)

M's Favorite Books: The 3 year old edition

One of M's favorite things to do by herself is to "read" books. She is only 3, so obviously she isn't actually reading the books, but I find her every day sitting in the playroom, as quiet as a mouse, with a book on her lap flipping through the pages. If I am in another room and she is quiet for a few minutes I will say "Are you ok in there M?" and she responds, "Mom I'm fine! I'm just reading!" So here is what you can find her "reading" these days (these are also the books she has memorized as we read at least 3 of them at bedtime every night.)

1. Room on the Broom (Julia Donaldson)- Iggity! Ziggity! Zaggity! Zoom! I kid you not, M has this entire book memorized, and can recite it to you on command. She knows when to turn the pages when you read it to her. I think my husband has read this to her over 100 times and we have only had it for about 6 months. I thank Grandma for bringing this delightful book into our lives.

2. Pout-Pout Fish in the Big-Big Dark (Deborah Diesen) - We wore out the original Pout-Pout Fish book, so I was ecstatic when we discovered the second book about the "glum gloomy swimmer" and his journey to find Ms. Clam's pearl in the deep dark ocean. M goes around the house saying "I am smarter than a dolphin, I am stronger than a shark, I am faster than a sailfish...but I'm scared of the dark, Mom!!"

3. The Napping House (Audrey Wood) - This is another one we have Grandma to thank for. It is a simple tale of a bunch of characters sleeping on top of each other, and then waking each other up, but M loves it. She thinks it is high comedy.

4.  Giraffe's Can't Dance (Giles Andreae) - Oh how I love this rhyming tale about a Giraffe who finally finds is groove. This is such an adorable book, and one that I love reading to her every chance I get.

5. Pete the Cat series (Eric Litwin and James Dean) - We have a couple books from the Pete the cat series and really love them all. They are silly stories about a cat, Pete, who wears sneakers and sings groovy songs about them. The only thing about these books that irks me is that he talks about wearing his 4 shoes on his feet, and then in the next drawing he has two shoes on, and is playing the guitar with is other paws, or doing something else. Hell, when you have read it 50 times you tend to get a little nitpicky.

6. Sophia the First (Cathy Hapka) - Something happened in one of the tv episodes of Sophia the First that scared M at some point, so she now refuses to watch them. The book however is her absolute favorite book to read at bed time. She is a sucker for anything princess, but truly loves hearing about Sophia's journey from small time girl to palace dweller. The illustrations in this book are truly fantastic - much better than the choppy animation of the television show.

7. The Disney Storybook Collection (and other Disney Collections) - These are always popping up at Costco, so we have a large collection of these classic collections of Disney tales ranging from Pixar themed to Winnie the Pooh, and of course the Princess Collection. A story from one of these books is always requested at night. Keep an eye out at your local Costco for these!