When you vacation with my parents...

Let me start off this post by saying that my parents are amazing. They are incredibly generous and kind, and still spoil my 30-something brother and I rotten. Because of them we have been able to do many amazing things in our lives, and for that we will be forever grateful. A prime example (one of hundreds) of their generosity was when they rented two houses in the Bahamas for the week after our wedding, and opened one up to my husband and I and about 10 of our closest friends...and stocked the fridge.

My parents like to go on vacation, and they like to go first class all the way, so if you are ever invited on a family vacation of ours, do not say no, my friends, as it is not a vacation to be missed.
At the present moment I am with my parents at their summer house up here in Rhode Island, where we will spend many of our weekends to come. Usually our days are spent by the pool, out on the boat, eating outside or golfing - all outdoor activities you will notice. Well, for the past 5 days here in New England it has been unseasonably cold - with a side of rain and ridiculous winds. Not exactly a recipe for enjoying outdoor activities! Needless to say there has been a lot of down time spent indoors, which has led me to observe my parents behavoirs on a different level - we are like monkeys trapped in a cage, friends, so why not blog about it?

When you vacation with my parents...
- you will do a lot of eating, and their pantry is stocked, so there is a lot of food to be eaten. Not eating something? My mom will dice or slice something, put it on a plate with a little balsamic vinegar and place it in front of you...no pressure...but you better eat it
- you will talk about food...while you are eating food. Eating breakfast? Let's talk about what our lunch plans are
- your clothes will remain dirty for two hours, max. And when they are clean and folded, you better put them back in your room...or else
- the kids' messes are cleaned up within minutes of them being made. This will include figurines to be set up in their rightful position each time, and princesses lined up or posed.
- do not leave your glass unattended for more than five minutes. It will be dumped, washed and put away.
- your kids will be asked multiple times a day if they want to put socks on...or a sweater, as they are always concerned about cold feet and arms
- you will be offered their clothing, no matter what you brought with you. Have something nice to wear out to dinner? Don't worry, my mom will offer you up another option from her closet. Already dressed for golf? My dad will offer you up to five different jacket/vest type options, as well as under-layers...this man does not like to be cold and doesn't want you to be cold either
- you will be asked what the "plan" is multiple times a day. My dad loves to have a plan.
- the kitchen will be spotless at all times. My dad loves a clean kitchen. Don't try and takeover the after dinner clean up. He might throw a sponge at you...clean-up is his "job."
- you will be early to everything because my mother swears it takes twice as long to get everywhere than it actually does. The grocery store? That is definitely 30 minutes away (nope, only 15.) Her nail place? At least 30 minutes away (nope, right next to the grocery store.)

Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about spending time with my parents. Sure, like all kids and their parents, there is a point where you need your personal space. In our case that is when we go on golf cart "adventures" to find bunnies in the woods, or look for deer. And if you are on our family vacation, and your child is 3.5, my dad will let them drive a golf cart.

Thankful for Grandparents

If you have been reading the blog since the beginning you will know that my mother and I have a fairly typical mother/daughter relationship. We are very close, and talk on the phone a couple times a day, but also need to be around each other in small doses as we tend to get on each other's nerves pretty quickly. As you also might remember, my parents live in Florida for the majority of the year, but since M was born they have been summering in Rhode Island to be closer to my family. They live the perfect distance away- not close enough for the unannounced pop-in, but still close enough to be at my door within an hour.

When you are used to having your parents a plane ride away, and seeing them once every couple months, it is not easy at first to adjust to having them in your lives as much as I have this summer. You basically go from being an independent adult, with a family of your own to take care of, back to being a child and being mothered (and fathered)....

You know you are low on detergent?
Did you water the flowers on the front porch?
Don't forget to put your clean clothes away!
Do your sheets need to be changed?

I will be the first to admit that there was a serious period of adjustment this summer to having my parents back in my life every week - I can be a total B to them, and I fully admit that. I know that everything they do, they do out of love and want nothing but to make my life easier (especially being pregnant this summer) but at first they came into our house like two tornadoes that couldn't sit still and needed "projects" to keep them busy...projects that I told them I didn't want to do got done, and not to my liking and all I wanted to do was scream "go back to Florida I can do this on my own!" Well, oh how my tune has changed in the last 2.5 months!

My mom has been staying with us a few days here and there as we await the arrival of baby girl 2.0. With my husband away on trial for a while, and my father being away on business, it just made sense for her to stay with us. Right now she is back in RI, and boy do I wish she was still here with us. See my mom is a combination of Nanny McPhee, Mrs. Doubtfire and Mary Poppins, with a sprinkle of Jim Hensen, all rolled into one fabulously active and imaginative 60 year old (who by the way last week got mistaken for my sister on two different occasions - good for her, but what does that say about how I look right now at 33? HA).

What other grandmother would be caught dead on the playroom floor with her legs in the air teaching her 2 year old grand daughter old Jane Fonda workout moves? While wearing a tutu? On her head?

Thank God for Grandparents

Next weekend Dada J & I are off on our first real vacation since we had M. Yes, we have been away from her before, for 2 nights, but this vacation will be in a different country, and we will be away for 4 nights and 5 days, so we really won't see her for 5 nights in a row. I was hesitant to go that long, not because I would miss her (which I will, but once I get in a bathing suit and settle in by the pool at the Ritz with a cocktail I will be all "what kid?"), but because I was worried if she would be ok being around my parents for so long, without me or Dada J present. I was also worried about my parents having to take care of a toddler for that amount of time on their own - not that they didn't do it 32 years ago with myself and then my brother, but they are older now (yada yada yada). It only took a few visits from the Grandparents in the last few weeks to ease my fears completely and actually make me start to question whether she would rather live with them instead of us full time.

(Before I go any further, let me just note that Dada J's mother died when he was young, and while his father is still alive, he is older, and we only get to see him twice a year if we are lucky. M is also his 11th grandchild, while she is my parents first, so there is a big difference there.)

In the 18 months of M's short life, my parents have had a huge presence. Even though they live in Florida for most of the year, they have made a point to see her at least once a month, whether we are flown down there or they come up to see us (nothing like having a free place to stay in Florida in the middle of winter). But during the summers they now stay from Memorial day to the end of September at a golf resort in Newport, RI, simply because we live up here, and they want to be close to their granddaughter. Not only do we have built in babysitters for 4 months of the year (which for us is a huge thing as we have no family close to us at all), but my parents get to see M whenever they want...and if M had her way it would be every day.

There is something about my parents that makes M start to kick her legs and smile from ear to ear every time she sees them. She wants to hold their hands, not mine, when she walks...she wants to be in the same room with them when they are around...she wants to sit next to them. All I hear all day is her screaming their names, "Belle? Belle? Beh-beh? Beh-beh!? Papa? Papa? PA-PA!?"

If she hurts herself the first thing she says is "beeeeeh beeeeh!"

If we get in the car to go somewhere it is "Belle? Papa?" as if she is asking "are we going to see them? Because I want to see them right now." When we arrive somewhere and I get her out of the car it is the same thing, "Papa? Belle?"

We have photos of them in the living room, and when we are doing our laps around the house she walks up to the one of her and my father and says as dramatic as she can "Ohhhhhh PAAA PAAA!"

If we are all together and I pick her up she will immediately lung towards my mother and say "belle! Belle!"

Now, I don't want you to think I have a problem with all this, as I don't at all. I love the fact that she likes them so much. She doesn't kick and scream when we leave them, or when they leave to go home, and she doesn't throw fits because we don't see them every day. She just has this crazy enthusiasm for them, and it couldn't make them happier. It is honestly great for me too because I get much needed breaks when they are around!

And I know why she loves them so much. They are always "on." There is always a puppet in someone's hand, and a crazy voice coming out of their mouths. There is never a dull moment, or a lull in the "entertainment" ever! My mother draws with M, she sings with M, they play instruments together, they walk around the house, they walk outside, they read books...it is non-stop. At the end of a day my mom will always say "I don't know how you do it, I am exhausted."

To be honest I am not "the entertainer" all day at all. We go to classes, we go on errands, we watch some tv and play with the iPad occasionally (who am I kidding - there is no occasionally about it :). I also let her do a lot of independent play while I am cleaning up around the house. If I was the way my mom was with her, I would be asleep at 6:30 along with M.

So I am terribly excited for this adults-only vacation, and I think my parents are excited to have M all to themselves for a few days. They won't have me looking over their shoulders questioning their every move, which will be a nice change for them I am sure. She will probably eat some things I wouldn't normally feed her (if my mom has her way she will be having juice and cookies all day long), and her sleep schedule will probably be all out of whack, but that is fine by me.

I will be basking in the Caribbean sun, poolside with a margarita, reading a book uninterrupted. I will be able to sleep in (which is 7 AM for me), and not have to worry about checking a monitor during the night. I will go 5 days without changing a diaper. I will be able to use a real purse, instead of some giant heavy diaper bag. We will be able to have a nice long dinner, with no kids around, and not having to worry about getting back in time for the babysitter to meet her friends out. It will be glorious.

Of course my parents might never want to babysit again, but I will take my chances!!