HELP! My baby hates the nursery at the gym!!

It has been almost 4 weeks since I joined the West Roxbury YMCA. I decided to go there as opposed to the Dedham Health Center because it felt more family-centric there, and it didn't cost me an arm and a leg to join (I am paying $89 for both Marlo and I per month at the Y, when I would have paid $179, plus $350 down at the DHC).

Now the Y isn't the nicest place on earth, it is a YMCA. The nursery room is on the small side, but the toys don't look busted, and it is clean, and I got a good feeling from Josette, the woman who has apparently worked there for 25 years, but still speaks with a broken English accent and still calls my baby girl "he" every day.

Day 1 I sign us in and bring Baby M up to the room. I am asked if she can sit on her own or will she fall over. I say that she can sit, but there is a small chance she will fall over - my mistake. Now they won't put her on the ground to play because I said she MIGHT fall over. I hand her over to Josette and she shoos me out of the room and tells me to hurry and go. Baby M is staring at me through the big glass window and immediately her face turns red and she starts to wail.

Let me get one thing out there - I have never left her with a stranger before. I have been away from her many times (including weekends away), but my Mom has always watched her. And my mom is a carbon copy of me (for those of you that know me, you know what I am talking about), so I am basically leaving her with Mom 2.0. I have left her with a friend for a couple hours during the day, and she was totally fine because she knows her Aunties well. This was the first time I left her with a total stranger.

Needless to say, I was called up to the Nursery in 15 minutes.

A Walk in the Park

The beautiful morning light at the Arnold Arboretum

I have just discovered the Arnold Arboretum...and I am in love. How is it that I have lived in Boston for 14 years and just found this place? I have heard about it, but never did I know exactly where or what it was. I actually thought it was some hot and muggy structure that houses plants that you could walk through, but boy was I wrong.

Nestled between Jamaica Plain, West Roxbury and Roslindale is this 265-acre arboretum is the oldest of it's kind in the United States and is one of the world's leading centers for the study of plants. To me it is where I get my daily exercise and daily dose of nature.

We have fallen into a routine here at our house. Papa B gets up with baby M at 5:45 every morning and has some quality time (he works long hours so this is a total treat for him) while giving her a bottle and some solid foods. Mama J gets to sleep until 6:30 (who would have thought that was sleeping in) and then I don my finest workout clothes before descending the stairs to my wonderful family. While Papa B gets himself ready for work, I change baby, get the diaper bag ready for the walk - which includes poop bags for the pooch - and then pack up the car with stroller, baby, dog and daddy. We then drop off Papa at the T-station and head over to the Arboretum.

We walk for about an hour to an hour and a half throughout the flora and fauna. It is literally a breath of fresh air. At that time of day (approx. 7:30 AM) the light comes through the trees in these strong dramatic beams that I couldn't help but take a ton of photos of (see photo). There are only a handful of other walkers/runners (many with baby in tow) at that time, and we seem to see the same people so we are already on the "good morning (insert baby or dog comment here)!" stage with many. The pooch gets to sniff a variety of bums, which always makes her happy, and is good and tired once we are through. She even wants to get in the car at the end of the walk, which is incredibly rare to begin with.

If you are in the Boston area, I highly recommend taking some time out of your day to head over to the Arboretum and take a walk throughout the property. There is parking on the street at the Arborway entrance, and a few spaces at some of the side entrances too.

And we even saw some red leaves today! Stay tuned for some fab fall photos!

I just had a baby...16 months ago

by Mama R

I joined a gym.  I thought about joining the same gym for 11 months.  For 11 months, at least once a week I thought about the gym but never once did I step foot in it.  Today, wearing flip flops, with no ability to actually use it today, I joined.

Before I got pregnant, I was pretty active.  Never a skinny minnie, but fit.  I had nice muscle tone, albeit a little mush on my tush, but I was strong.  I was in shape (not the shape I was hoping for) but still a shape that did not scream, "chubby-wubby."  Back then, I balanced a very upwardly, aggressive career track, my relationship with my husband and my social schedule.  I had gone through times of more and of less working out.  Different work out phases, see Hot Yoga, Core Fusion, Running, Trainer at the Gym...see a little less mush.

When I got pregnant, I initially thought, I will be that girl in the gym with her belly.  I will be on the treadmill, I will have a trainer, I will just have a belly.  Then at week 5 I started getting sick, and didn't stop until my daughter was born.  I threw up 2/3 of the pregnancy, and by the time I stopped puking, I had heart burn and swelling that made it inconceivable for me to more than the occasional pre-natal yoga.

I thought, "It's winter, I'm pregnant."

Flash forward to post-baby, 16 months ago.  Post emergency C-section.  First off, I could barely get up out of bed let alone walk down stairs or walk a few blocks.  I lived in a walk up, so getting outside to walk was nearly out of the question for the first week or two.  But alas I don't think I can really use the c-section as my situation today.

Many women have claimed of "breast feeding melted off the weight" and "all I do is walk" and "I practically forget to eat." Let's address these claims as they relate to me.

First, let's get one thing straight, I have never forgotten to eat.  Ever.  I figured out crafty ways to feed myself, always.  Faster, yes.  At strange times yet.  Forget, no.

Second, yes, once I recovered, I did walk.  And walking did do more some good things, but it rained 75% of my maternity leave and when I returned to working full time, I did everything as quickly as possible to get from point A to point B.  Usually, that meant getting in the car.  A few times, I have committed and re-committed to walking or running, but it never lasts more than a few days or at most a month.

Lastly, yes, breastfeeding was wonderful.  Wonderful for my daughter, and some what helpful for me.  However, I used it as an excuse to feed myself as much as I pleased (see: forgetting to eat).  And I was also carrying around H size bombs.  No, that is not a typo, "H" as in A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H.  I could barely see my legs and my stomach past those gals and somewhere around 4 months of nursing, I was convinced, I would look better when I stopped b/c I must have been the type who's body held the weight.

So, today I joined a gym because I realized it has been almost 2 years since I have really committed to trying to make myself look any better.  After a depressing series of posts of friends on their family vacations with their own children, some near my daughters age, but MANY with much younger babies, I realized these women managed to get into some remarkable shape, and I couldn't really say, "I just had a baby," anymore.

Tomorrow, I am going to try to actually go to this new gym I've joined early in the morning...the infamous, "before the baby wakes up."  I hope that it is met with mild success, I am not hoping to come out of this new commitment with Giesle's body, I am just hoping I won't look as paunchy, run down and out of shape as I do right now.

For all the mama out there looking for support, know you are not alone.  There are tons of us out there looking for support, motivation, anything to help us not look like an older, more run down, less sparkling version of ourselves.

I hope to write you in a few weeks a little shinier.

Who is that woman that ate Mama J?

Somewhere along the lines I got signed up for Parenting (the early years) magazine. It isn't one of those magazines I am excited to receive (like Entertainment Weekly or the New Yorker) so I don't read it right away when it comes to our house. Damn do I wish I read this latest issue sooner.

Amongst the ads filled with beautiful babies and models posing as new moms I found an article entitled "Feel Better Naked." I thought maybe they would have some sort of newly discovered weight loss secret (I am always looking for the latest and greatest) so I got immediately excited to read. But then I glanced up at the subtitle: "So you're toting a few extra pounds and sagging in some places you weren't before. So what? Your body is still secy and incredible. Here's how to believe it!"

The article goes on saying that we shouldn't try to aim for post-baby bodies the likes of Heidi Klum or Victoria Beckham, as that is totally unrealistic for the normal woman. It basically says that after you have a baby, your body changes shape...which I have totally embraced.

What got me going was the fact that this article is basically saying (at least what I got out of it) that it is cool that you are fat after having a baby! Say goodbye to your old body! It actually tells you to go out and buy clothes in bigger sizes...to "embrace your shape" and "appreciate your assets." Oh where do I begin with this!!

When I look at myself in the mirror I am totally disgusted by my body. My boobs, that were always on the saggy side, are now like deflated balloons. My waist, which was always my smallest part of my body, is out of control and actually sticks out further than my boobs. My once plump behind is now out of control - and not in a good way. My "guns" are gone - and my arms now have cellulite? I didn't know that was possible! Every time before I get in the shower I will stand naked, holding my boobs where they should be, sucking in my stomach as much as I can, and popping out a leg to get some definition - and I see this small glimpse of the Mama J that was...

The Mama J that was once 30 pounds (see me at left in 2006, and last month in a wedding in 2010 - gross) lighter than I am now...the Mama J that worked out almost every day...that took much better care of herself...that cared what people thought about her...that actually turned heads in a good way when she went out with her friends and husband. Now, I look like the woman that ate Mama J.

And it is all my fault. It took me so long to get pregnant that I was so scared of losing the baby (also had a blood clot in the beginning of my pregnancy), so I stopped working out, save swimming twice a week if I was lucky, and started eating whatever I wanted. For the past 6 months of my babies life, I have probably worked out 5 times total. But now that is all changing thanks to the kick in the ass from this article.

I don't want to embrace this new body! It is like I am wearing a fat suit!! I can't find clothes that fit me, so I can't go buy new clothing to make me feel sexy! So I need to do something about it, and fast.

I am back to working out (at home with P90X tapes), and back on Weight Watchers points (hoping for the 30 pound loss that I had the first time I did WW). I have started my journey back towards the old Mama J...the fitter, sexier, healthier Mama J.

And why am I telling you all this? Well, I have said that I am going to start this journey probably 10 times in the last 6 months. I strongly feel that me admitting this to you all will actually get my brain and body in gear to put in the effort and work that is necessary to reach my goal.

There is no backing down now..my Mama's are watching!

A Boston Baby Mama Takes Baby to the Pool

by Mama K

I spent my whole life in and out of the pool.  My mom started me on swimming lessons when I was 6 months old and every summer we'd look forward to at least 2 weeks of lessons and a couple of weeks at Lake George and frolicking on the beaches at Cape Cod.  She wanted to make sure I was a confident water lover.  I started helping to teach swimming lessons to 5+ year olds when I was 13, then became a lifeguard, and then a WSI (Water Safety Instructor aka Red Cross Swimming Teacher) when I was 18.  After 15 years of teaching swimming I am chomping at the bit to get my son in the water.  Here is what I have learned that I plan to pass on to my little one.

Teaching the 6-18 month babies was so much fun for the parents and babies (and me) in the water babies classes.  You won't go in the deep end (unless you want to and both you and baby can get a flotation device if that makes it easier), so if you aren't a strong swimmer don't worry about it.  You just have to feel comfortable standing in the shallow end holding baby.  They do lots of songs and splashing and kicking, eventually blowing bubbles and going under water (if you are up for it).  It's a big transition for baby from bath tub to pool, so don't be surprised if your little one who LOVES the bath, is a sea of tears in the pool at first.  It's the same with all things baby if mom/dad are making it fun, happy, laughing and smiling baby will like it, if parents were ever tense, scared, nervous or unhappy baby HATED it. 

Start swimming lessons at 6 months don't wait until your kids are 2 years old to put them in the pool, the earlier you start the more confident swimmers they will be in the long run.  It's not a good idea to put babies younger than 6 months in the pool.  They should only be the water for 30 minutes, but show up early for your class and sit at the waters edge to let your little one get used to the smells, the echos and take in all the sights.  Do your best to keep baby warm, pools where lessons are taught are supposed to be a certain temp (sorry don't remember what) but even that will make young babies cold.  Think about how you feel diving into a pool, kind of a shock to the system, so take it slow.  It probably wouldn't hurt to put a t-shirt or another layer of fabric of some sort over babies water diaper.  Yes, that's right you need special diapers for the pool!

Learn the songs and actions from the teacher, it will be more fun for your baby and they like your voice (however off key it may be) better than anyone else! If you are taking a once a week class, try not to miss any classes and if you can get the pool in between classes that's even better.  The more you can expose baby to the new environment the better.  As a new mom I would suggest you bring your own water toys. In all the years I taught swimming never once did I see the toys cleaned!  Sure maybe since the water is chlorinated they are somewhat disinfected...but I'm not so sure about that.  With the frequency with which items are shoved into my son's mouth, not sure I'm willing to risk it.

Other things to expect when you go to the pool with your little one:
You have to get in the water!
Sing, have fun and keep moving
Keep your head close to baby's head, that means you put your shoulders in the water and get down at eye level with them on the water
Don't splash baby too much, but expect baby to soak you!
Take two parents - one in the water and one to warm up and dress baby after class
Don't feed baby right before swimming, so be sure to sign up for a class that works well with baby's schedule
Babies learn to swim vertically before they go horizontal, think bicycle riding in the water
Don't put baby's ears in the water until they like the pool, be careful when laying them on their back
The sooner you pry baby off you the sooner they will take to the water.  You might experience a death koala grip from baby, this typically happens with older babies - so start EARLY, it will be easier on you too.

Put on your happy faces and jump right in!!!! :)

Wannabe

by Guest Blogger Mama A

I moved to my crunchy small town from Boston when L was 15 months old. My husband and I had just one car at the time, which he needed for work. I saw this as an opportunity to become a true mom of the area. I bought myself a trailer for my bike, a helmet for my son and was ready to embrace my latent inner-hippie. I took one preemptive practice run around the block a few times and then felt ready to be a real local. I imagined myself in the best shape of my life from biking everywhere! I imagined my days biking into town with my happy toddler, meeting up with some like-minded women, running a few errands and coming home feeling fit, refreshed, in-touch and like a great mom. I was going to be that mom and I was psyched.

For my first real outing, I packed L into the trailer with a snack and a drink and headed off to the supermarket. I loved the adventure of it all! I found the bike rack, figured out how to park my giant trailer there without obstructing the whole rack and felt great as I headed into the market. I still felt great as I packed L back into the trailer and surrounded him with the groceries: 2 gallons of milk fit nicely under his seat, eggs and raw meats in the back where he couldn’t reach them, non-fragile items packed all around him. It was a tight squeeze. Once I got it all secure, I hopped on for my ride home.
I had not considered several factors:

1. Groceries are heavy;
2. Heavy trailers are very hard to pull;
3. The supermarket was downhill from my house, which means that my house was uphill from the supermarket;
4. I was not so fit;
5. I don't really like things that are really hard;
6. L has no patience for things that take a long time.

We finally made it home. I did not feel fit, refreshed, in-touch and like a great mom at all. I felt sweaty and sore and tired and obviously not fit. I felt irritated and angry at all those damn hippie moms with their damn happy kids in trailers. Instead of feeling like a great mom, I felt lousy for making L endure a very long, uncomfortable bike trip packed in with the groceries in the hot trailer listening to me curse at the world.

I knew I was not ever going to be that mom. Why did I think I ever would be? That very night I met my husband at the car dealership and we got our second car.

Swim, mama, Swim!

I have always considered myself an active person. If I don't go to the gym, I feel like a lazy bum, and just don't feel myself. Before I became pregnant, I was at the gym at least 4 times a week, and going to yoga class once a week, and walking about 2-3 miles with my dog daily. Not that I was in great shape, but I definitely was at a healthy fighting weight. Well, it took us a very long time to get pregnant, and in the months leading up to our successful IVF procedure, I had been through 3 rounds of IUI as well. For anyone that has been through assisted fertility treatments, they will know where I am going with this...

When you don't ovulate like a normal person, they put you on high doses of a drug called Gonal-F, which you inject in your tummy every night for about 5-7 nights straight. Because I was such a high responder (I am talking world record breaking egg production here :), I had to go into the hospital every morning at 6:30 AM to have my blood taken, as well as an ultrasound probe shoved up my hoo-hah to have my ovaries monitored. So my point is that after having that done every day, who really wants to go to the gym and lift weights with track marks up and down their arms? And on top of the monitoring, I was not allowed to do anything active for the days around my many assisted treatments. Needless to say it was months before I actually got pregnant that I stopped working out regularly, and started packing on the pounds.

Long story short, I am not as active as I used to be, and now at 26 weeks into this pregnancy, I am starting to feel the woes of the extra l.b.'s I have gained. I am walking slower (and almost waddling as of late), the balls of my feet are in constant agony (it feels like the day after a night out clubbing in 4 inch heels - and I know that feeling very well), my hands and feet are now swollen like cartoon hands by 5 PM every night, I have to hoist myself off the couch and out of my car, and my balance is so not what it used to be.

But lo and behold there is a magical place where all of this falls by the wayside, and you can feel yourself again!! And it is called the pool (finally I am to the point of this post :)!!! For all you pregnant ladies, I beg you now to go find a gym with a pool and get on your swimsuit and get in that water! It is the one place where you can feel yourself again. Pregnancy does not hinder your ability to swim laps - now it is no spin class, but it does give you a great work out. From what I have read, doing the breast stroke is proven to help get your body ready for labor - and hell it is the easiest stroke out there. Thank god it isn't the butterfly they recommend! Even if you don't get in the pool for exercise, get in it to feel yourself again...just float and feel the magical feeling of weightlessness. Swim, Mamas, Swim!

Your body: After Baby

"Pretty soon after you give birth (assuming you do not have a c-section), they will make you pee. Yes, in front of them. Although, at that point you don't even care. They have already seen it all! Plus it will be necessary for the nurses to help you into the bathroom because it is pretty hard just to sit up and get out of bed on your own, much less be able to walk yourself the three steps to the bathroom. And unless you want your husband to "help" you, just let the nurses in there! The one thing I was not prepared for, however, is the "inability" to control your bladder. Not that I peed in my pants or anything, but for those first couple weeks once you get to the bathroom and sit down, the pee just starts coming out...there was no "okay I'm going to start peeing now, okay now I'm going to stop," it just starts - and there was no ability to "stop" once it started! I guess when they tell you to do those kegel exercises, they aren't lying. Ha Ha! Totally not prepared for that though! Don't worry - you're not going to pee your pants or anything (atleast I didn't - I'm sure many ladies have though!) but this is one of those things that would have been nice to know beforehand!” - Mama P

“Make peace with the fact that you may not lose all the weight right away. I think I had this expectation that the birth itself would rid me of about half the weight pretty much right away (it didn't) - I still looked 9 months pregnant the day I left the hospital. Granted, I knew that you would still look "pregnant" but I thought I would look more like 5 or 6 months pregnant, not exactly the same as I looked when I came in there! It took about 4-5 days before I lost the majority of the "belly" but even then, I still had a lot of weight to lose. Just remember that it took 9 months to gain it all, so don't be surprised if it takes 9 months to lose it. Several of my friends who are all size 2 and looked adorable lost all of their "baby weight" like 4 days after going home and were back in their pre-pregnancy clothes like 2 weeks later. This is not normal.” - Mama P

“I will admit, I didn't get back to working out when I could have (6-8 weeks postpartum). I just wasn't feeling it. After a few months, I started again, but you are so tired all the time that is the last thing you want to do! I will say though, for the next baby, I will probably force myself to start working out earlier, just because it has been a lot harder to lose the baby weight than I thought. (not that I thought it would be easy, but it just hasn't come off the way I thought it would).” - Mama P

Exercise Ball

Now we don’t mean some new fancy ball made for baby – we mean those good old fashion rubber blow-up balls you use for crunches at the gym! If you have a colicky baby this is probably one of the most important things you can own. When your arms feel like they are about to fall off because you have been bouncing your baby for the last year and a half, you can put the baby in the infant car seat, rest the car seat on the ball (while you are holding itk of course) and bounce the seat on the ball. You can also put the baby in a sling, or Ergo/Bjorn and sit on the ball yourself and bounce. This will save your arms, your sanity, and probably your marriage.

Exercising while pregnant

Listen to your body when you are pregnant. If you feel up to exercising, do it. If you don’t, don’t feel guilty (like you would if you weren’t pregnant)! What is most important is to feel good about yourself while you cook the baby for 10 months. That could mean eating Cheez-Its as exercise, or running 5 miles a day. This is not your wedding--you don't have to have your picture taken much the big day--and no one is looking at you really, they want to see the star.

Most of our Mama’s were most comfortable walking during their pregnancy, while others also swam (they say that breast stroke will help prepare your body for delivery). One Mama did pre-natal yoga, but found that with the additional poundage, her hands seemed to go numb much quicker (and stay that way for a while).

While those Mama’s that continue to exercise throughout pregnancy do not necessarily have easier births (out of our Mama’s they were the ones that actually ended up having more complications, but that is totally unrelated) they did in fact have a much easier recovery after birth. Within a short period of time they were pretty much back to their pre-baby body (many of them also attribute the quicker weight loss to breast feeding).

“The “Perfect Pregnancy Workout” video is the best – it’s hard enough to be a challenge – even post-pregnancy, but you can do it when you’re pregnant. And eating…sadly, if you do it as much as I did, that is exercise too.” – MAMA E

“I highly recommend exercising during pregnancy. I enjoyed swimming and using the cardio machines at the gym. By keeping up your endurance during pregnancy you get a head start on the incredible endurance you will need once the baby comes. I know everyone says that exercise helps with the birth – I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I can promise you that staying in shape will help when you have been awake for 96 hours straight and have been bouncing a little newborn baby in your arms for that entire time.” – MAMA S

“Walking – it helped to keep me in shape and to relax. I gained steady weight throughout my pregnancy and ended up right in the correct range 25-30 pounds come delivery time. It also helped to tire me out so I would sleep better but it didn’t exhaust me like running or other high intensity exercise did. You can walk in any weather which is good because there is no excuse to stop doing it. Stretching was good too. I felt great going into my labor, I think my fitness level helped me to try for as long as I did (labor for 24 hours, pushed for 3 hours then c-section). It absolutely made recovery from c-section easier because you have to use arms and legs a lot since your abdomen is very sore and you can’t really use the muscles there to get up and out of bed, chairs, etc.” – MAMA C

“Took ballet classes which really helped with the sciatica “ MAMA A

“I was so sore the day after deliver (and I don't mean down there, I mean my whole body! I felt like I ran a marathon. My entire body hurt....my arms, my back, my shoulders, my legs...you truly are using every muscle in your body to push the baby out (unless you have a c-section of course) - I guess maybe if I had exercised more I would have been in better shape, but honestly I don't think so. My doctor told me the next day, it was like the equivalent of running a marathon, and I agree!!” – MAMA P