Need Advice About M's New Sleeping Habits

Be careful what you think, or say aloud, about other parents or children. The universe hears you...

You see that kid throwing silverware on the floor at the table next to you? That will never be your kid, right? Just give it a few months.

You see that kid eating bread and butter for lunch and refusing anything else? What kind of mother is she to give her kid bread and butter for a meal? Just wait...your kid will stop eating that gourmet organic gluten-free stuff some day and will want nothing but bread and butter.

You hear that kid screaming on the playground? Didn't that parent tell her that she shouldn't scream in public like that? Oh wait, that was my kid?

And those poor parents who have kids that get up during the night, or end up with kids in their bed...don't they just put the kid back in their own bed? Don't they just not let the kids in their bed? Do their kids not get enough exercise during the day? Aren't their kids eating a big meal for dinner, thus making them full and in turn making them sleep through theia.a.sdjflq2o807777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

who sleeps with their arms out like this? 

Oh...I am sorry. I fell asleep on my keyboard. Why? Because aliens have come down from planet Zorflack and replaced my 3.9 year old with some being that refuses to sleep longer than 2 hour increments, that for some reason at night cannot go to the bathroom by herself and now refuses to actually sleep in her own bed.

My girls are great sleepers. That is something I have said out loud many times. Each of them slept through the night around 6 months old, without a hitch. M moved to her big girl bed shortly after she turned 2, without a hitch. Once she was potty trained (weeks after her third birthday) she began getting up once or twice during the night to use the potty. That is fine. My husband and I got in a pattern of alternating nights of getting up with her, so that one of us could get a good nights sleep. We had a good thing going.

This past summer she pretty much dropped her afternoon nap, and started going to sleep around 7:30. Most nights that she didn't nap she actually slept through the night, or just got up once. But oh those days are gone my friends.

For the past 3 weeks M gets up on average 5 times a night. I say on average because there have been nights where she has gotten up 8 times during the night. She has this thing about closing her bedroom door when she leaves it, so Hubs and I will hear her door shut, hear her pitter patter of feet down the hall and then hear one of the following:
- I have to go potty
- I need blue stars (meaning she needs her Cloud-B ladybug turned back on)
- Can I sleep with you?
- Can I sleep in the guest room?
- I need water
- I need to see Daddy
- I can't find Pooh Woobie
- I'm scared of my room
...yada yada yada.

After I have gotten up with her 2-3 times (and the clock is still in the PMs) I give my husband the elbow to signal he has been tagged in. I need sleep people. And the last few days I have been sick so I need my sleep even more. Not getting a good night sleep for this Mama equals Crankypants McGillicuddy (a close relation to Judgy McJudgerson from my last post).

So back to M...

So when she gets up and comes down the hall we instruct her to go to the potty by herself, to which she always replies "I can't." This is not the truth, as she goes all day long by herself. No matter how much we have lit the path to the bathroom, she refuses to go unless one of us is with her. We don't help her, we just stand at the door of the bathroom, then watch her walk back into her bedroom and get in bed, then we close the door to her bedroom. She has this thing about not being able to go into her own room, close the door on her own and then get into bed on her own - no matter how well lit her bedroom is.

But lately in addition to the going potty, and other special requests, she has often been telling us that she doesn't want to be alone in her room. When we she goes to get back in bed she starts screaming for us to stay in the room. You want your heart to be broken? Come to our house and watch M scream and cry from her bed, with arms reaching towards you, "don't leave me! You can't leave me in here alone!"

We have tried laying in there with her until she falls asleep, but it is impossible to escape without her hearing us. We have tried leaving her in there crying her eyes out, but she won't fall asleep, and we can only take too much of that "wait it out" torture.

So what ends up happening? One of two things:

1. We put her in the guest room half way through the night, where there is a big comfy king bed and lots of pillows. She still ends up getting up a few times after that, but doesn't fight going back to that bed.

2. We put her in our bed. And she sleeps soundly until I wake her up in the morning.

WTF??? She sleeps soundly? Last night my husband got up with her once, and then instead of fighting with her just put her in our bed the second time she got up (around 11 PM). The girl who normally wakes up at 6 AM at the absolute latest had to be waken up at 7:30. The day before she ended up in our bed around 2 AM and had to be woken up at 7:45 AM. HUH?

You know who isn't sleeping soundly? Everyone else in our bed. M sleeps with arms out, knees in my back, breathing in my face, snoring in my ear... it is like sleeping with a Great Dane between my husband and I. We have slept many a night these past 7.5 years with a dog in our bed (which I loathe as well) and seriously I would take the dog over the child. The dog goes to her own bed when I nudge her with my feet. I cannot say the same for the child.

I am not sure what has spawned this behavior. If we look at the time frame, M's sleep patterns have gotten much worse since she started at her new school. She seems to be really happy at this new school, and I have a warm and cozy feeling about everyone there. Hubs did some research and he discovered that when a child goes through a major life change (in this case a brand new school) it can affect their sleeping behavior.

Did she have a bad dream where something happened to her in her room? Sometimes she tells us that she did have a bad dream, but only if we ask if that is the case. Our sweet M is a little on the dramatic side, so it is hard for me to know if she is telling the truth about having bad dreams, because she could just be acting out something she saw on TV.

But what should we be doing? Should we be giving in and letting her sleep in a different room? Should we not allow her in our bed at all? How do we know if she is just playing with us?

I long for the days of 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I am so jealous of my friends who have kids that sleep through the night, and sleep past 7 AM. Hear that universe?

I would love some advice from you all. If you have ever gone through something similar please share your story!

Help me Obi Wan Kenobi...you are my only hope (I might still be asleep while typing this.)

No sleep til...who the hell knows

There seems to be an unwritten rule in our house:
At no time will all of you get a good night's sleep...you will either be awakened frequently by children, have to work until the wee hours of the morning, be unable to stop thinking of what you have to do the following day or the theme song to Sophia the First will run on a constant loop in your head making you want to drive a pencil through your eye. 

I love sleep.

Now, I have never been one of those people who can sleep the day away (except for college of course). I am a morning person, and don't mind getting up early - if I have had my 7-8 hours of sleep. I neeeeeed that 7-8 hours or I turn into something like The Beast from the movie Krull (please tell me someone else that reads this blog knows that movie, besides you mom!) and you don't want to be messing with the beast. She will bite your head off for looking at her sideways (sorry hubs).

Before sweet baby Val came into the world I was sleeping 8-10 hours a night. Miss M has always been a champ when it comes to sleeping. 3 hour naps every afternoon - like clockwork. Never woke up in the middle of the night, never came into our bed...let us all get our much needed sleep.

Then Val graces us with her presence, and things take a drastic turn. Of course you don't sleep when you have a newborn: that is par for the course. But not only was I not sleeping, I had a baby who would not let me put her down at all throughout the day. She slept on me for naps and throughout the night, and if you have ever had a baby sleep on you, you know you are not sleeping - you are more like resting your eyes.

It was like that for the first four months of Val's life. It wasn't until January that we actually moved her to her crib to sleep on her own. And since then we have gotten a handful of nights were she slept through the night, but most days she gets up once for a bottle.

During the day is a different story all together. I am lucky if I get a 30 minute stretch out of Val. She will sleep for 5 minutes here, 10 minutes there, in the car, or fall asleep during tummy time. I have tried everything to make her nap time more successful: doing the bedtime routine during the day, white noise, blackout curtains, change of temperature, different clothing, different sleep sacks, etc. Whatever the equation the sum does not equal a good nap! We have just come to the conclusion that she won't be the day-sleeper her sister is, but at least we are getting good stretches at night...until the last week when she started rolling over!

And apparently her sister and her have a deal to allow us to never have a good night's sleep again (see above for unwritten house rule). Since M is now fully potty trained she is getting out of her bed at night to use the potty - which means she is running down the hall to our room and either standing like a child of the corn in our door way and saying "i need to go potty now," or coming to my side of the bed and poking me constantly in the back and saying "mom! Mom! Mom!"

I have become a coffee drinking strictly because at about 9 AM every morning I am struggling to keep my eyes open - which is a job requirement for a stay at home mom.

Sure I might be getting 7 hours a sleep, but in 3-4 hour increments, and big gaps in between because lately I have the hardest time falling back to sleep after getting up with the girls. Last night I was up with Val from 1-1:30, but was wide awake in bed until 3:30 thinking about everything from selling our house to watering the plants. I could not shut my brain off! Damn you brain! And of course right when I fall asleep around 3:30 what do I hear?

"Mom...mom...I gotta go potty"

That was when I tagged in hubs for a round.

All I want is 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. No monitors, No potty breaks. No night time feedings. I think at this point I might cut off a toe for a good night's sleep.

The early bird gets...room-darkening curtains

You know that you need to get more sleep when your three year-old asks you: “Are you frustrated, mama?”  For the last few weeks, our early-riser has decided to shift his wake-up time from 6am to 530…and even 5am at times.  This change has had us all sleep-deprived, frayed at the edges.  My son would get unmistakably cranky and melt down close to naptime and bedtime.  I struggled through my days with a cloud hanging over me, my work productivity dwindling.  Coffee barely cut through that fog, and I found myself partaking in an afternoon nap with my kids, lest I melt down too in the early evening, so tired from the day.  My husband, the coffee abstainer, started joining me for a morning cup of joe.  We were all becoming bleary-eyed zombies.

A 6am wake-up call is my limit. Anything earlier I cannot and will not tolerate.  Now I am not asking for 7am, 630am, or even 615am. Just 6am, please. I have waxed poetic about my kids’ routines, and how we follow them religiously.  As a parent, I have come to understand the fundamental importance of sleep for my children, for myself…for everyone’s sake. Otherwise, I become mama the grouch.  So what to do when that system breaks down?  Other than this, like his maternal grandfather (who has taken a nap every day out of his 71 year-old life) overall the dude is terrific sleeper—he can sleep through almost anything, and when he’s out, he’s out like a light.

We wondered, was he napping too late?  We started limiting his nap to two hours from his usual two and a half, hoping that would help. Tried it for almost two weeks with no improvement….it only worsened his early morning wake-ups to 5am.  One day, the dude even refused to nap; instead of the sound of sleep (read: blissful quiet), I heard him running around in circles and singing very loudly in his room.  Got him to nap eventually, but he protested, saying to me, “I don’t want to.”

Oh boy. This was an overtired preschooler talking.  I had to think—what could be amiss?  I realized finally that even with room-darkening shades, there was light from the early morning sunrise sneaking around the shades through his east-facing windows. I remembered that in Florida, the dude would sleep soundly until the local sunrise, almost 7am.  I talked with our pediatrician; ever pragmatic, she advised me emphatically, “Buy curtains. Anything to keep that room dark.  Make sure that NO LIGHT AT ALL gets through that child’s room.”  Really a no brainer...for someone who is well-rested and capable of higher-level thought. Hoping to get some of my tired brain cells back, I searched amazon.com and without hesitation bought the room-darkening curtains, special room-darkening curtain rods, the whole shebang.

It took a little elbow grease to get the curtains up and going (read: tired parents should really NOT be operating power drills).  But the results were so worth it, with 6 am wake-ups for him and for us the last couple of days, with big naps to boot.  Yesterday, the dude even requested that I close the curtains for his nap. He woke up and told me, “I feel better with the curtains.” Yes, my love, I feel better too. 

If you don't sleep good, we won't sleep good

Recently my husband and I were surfing the home away website, looking for a last-minute vacation spot in Rhode Island in July. While we found lots of cheap, available two-bedroom homes that claim to sleep six people (and three bedrooms that claim to sleep eight to ten), we bit the bullet and splurged on a three-bedroom cottage.

We are a family of four.  Why, why, why, might you ask, do we need so many bedrooms? Can’t the kids bunk together in the same room? Wouldn’t it be so cute and fun?  I answer you this: the kids need separate bedrooms so we all can GET SOME SLEEP. Worth every extra penny spent, every time.  Because there are some basic elements to any good vacation: fun location, quality family time, and rest.  And rest, as in restful sleep, my friend, is of the essence. 

We are devotees to the sleep mavens—Ferber, Weissbluth, Mindell, the Sleep Lady—believe you me, we’ve read them all. I can wax poetic on the pros and cons of each method--but that's for another post.  I’ve heard that other families do fine with two, three, even more young kids sleeping in a bedroom. That’s great for you, I say.  For our two kids, we’ve found that they extremely sensitive to how, where, and when they sleep—each in their own different ways.  We’ve figured out what works for them. They have their own loveys, their own bedrooms with special blackout shades, and a white noise machine humming in the hall between their bedrooms to reduce background noise.  We’ve got daily routines for both kids down pat, and rarely deviate from them, only once in a blue moon. And from experience, that short nap in the ergo, stroller, or car seat, that later bedtime from the plane ride—often means we have hell to pay the next day. Even with all that planning, there’s always the unexpected to disturb their sleep: a fever in the middle of the night, little miss’ recent nighttime coughing, or the sound of her crying in the other room waking the dude up. And that is not relaxing for anyone concerned.

Are we being rigid, you say? Yes, definitely. I never thought we would be so tied to the clock, or that we’d be such sticklers to have them sleep in separate bedrooms.  But as parents of these two young children, we live their ups and their downs every day.  And for these two munchkins in particular, that rollercoaster is made worse or better by the quality of their sleep.  My husband and I have grown to accept it, that’s just who they are.  So if they'll sleep better in separate bedrooms, we will too.

One day they’ll be bigger, and it will be cute and fun to see them snuggle up in bunk beds (after they are done fighting over who gets the top bunk, of course).  But for now, the fun comes from everyone getting a good night’s sleep.  To my children, I paraphrase Vidal Sassoon’s famous comment (with apologies for poor grammar): If you don’t sleep good, we won’t sleep good.

Sleep Porn

My friends have all been reading 50 Shades of Grey.  I don't want anything exciting to happen in my bed, I just want a night in my bed.  By myself.  And so I have been fantasizing about a good night of sleep.  I'm pretty sure it's 100 times better than anything Christian Grey could do to me.   

Like most parents, I rarely (never) have a night when someone doesn't need water, a binkie, a trip to the bathroom.  There is usually someone pushing their little toes into my stomach or backing their way into my already-compromised-space.  I have tiny, sweaty arms flung haphazardly over my face and someone who wants to sleep, literally, on my head.  Sure, I know about Ferber and all those other things.  But children are like the Others...they creep into your room without making a noise.  And then, at 3 AM when you realize they are in your bed, you are far too tired to do anything.  I'm pretty sure Ferber didn't deal with his children turning into Others, as he actually got enough sleep to write a book, one with words and complete sentences. 

About a month ago, we went to Disney.  The land of over stimulation and thousands of sugary treats you feel compelled to buy your child.  But amazingly, these are the nights I've been dreaming of.  The day of our arrival was a long one.  We were up at 4 AM to catch a flight and naps were sparse to say the least.  After a day of "pushing through" we returned to our hotel at 9 PM.  After quick showers, we climbed into bed.  To mitigate the certain late night wake-ups, we split the kids up.  One in bed with me, the other with my husband.  And that's is where the sleep porn begins...

I dream of the complete darkness of the black-out blinds.  Be still my heart with the staticy noise of the bathroom fan we left on.  Clean, crisp sheets with no crumbs or stray binkies or ten stuffies your child decided they must have.  I could get lost in the spaciousness of the bed; the ability to roll with out hitting a child, the back of the surprisingly hard Twilight Turtle, or a sippy cup that has been slowly leaking water for the last 2 hours.  Breathe in the air, the slightly musty smell of the chilling hotel air-conditioned air with nary a whiff of 4 year old post-nasal drip.  But the real climax of it all was the silence and stillness...of the children.  Pure exhaustion.  No one opened their eyes or even moved until the alarm went off at 8 AM the next morning. 

So like everyone else these days, I'm dreaming about what I can do in my bed.  Sleep.  It's probably the best "dirty" dream I'll ever have.

What Dreams May Come

This week I've been even flakier than usual because of lack of sleep. The Duchess has been getting up daily between 4:15am and 5:15am and then wailing, waking up Honey and thus, me. The Grump is eerily immune to this fussing, although he could be faking so I'll get up and tend to them, but that early in the morning, I don't even have a brain to figure out trickery let alone how to deal with it. Anyway, both girls rarely, if ever, sleep past 6am, so it's not like we're used to sleeping in.

(Can you imagine someone characterizing snoozing past 6am as "sleeping in"??)

The Duchess wakes up because she's been having these vivid dreams. I love hearing about them and writing them down, even if she embroiders or changes them in the retelling. The past couple of nights, she has been dreaming about frogs - not real frogs, but those cute little plastic froggies that she plays with in the kiddie class that we attend. (Ok, she puts the frogs on her head and then "sneezes" them off, which is one of her favorite activities) (We are easily amused here). Last night, in her dream, the frogs were playing with her in her room with her toys and were being good. The previous night, the frogs were being bad and she had to give them a time out. I find this hilarious.

Clearly, the Duchess is experiencing what my college Psych 101 professor called a "day residue," which is, as you can probably figure out, bits and pieces of things that happened to you recently that emerge in your dream. According to the prof, the day residue doesn't really mean anything, it's just stuff that was kind of sitting around your brain and getting sucked in to your main microprocessors.

So I think about this a lot because I too have been having some unusally vivid dreams lately. The one that sticks out most in my mind is from the other night. I was sitting on a beach with Honey (I'm not sure if the Grump and the Duchess were also there, they may have been but I didn't see them or interact for this segment). We were facing down the beach, and it was a calm, sunny day. I had a balloon in my hand and the wind was tugging at it, so I let it go. I told Honey, "It will probably pop."

This was so clear in my head and so mystifying to me, that I needed to think about it. I found a dream analysis website called www.dreammoods.com that had all kinds of interesting details on it, and basically, I had a stress dream. Naturally, only I seem to be able to take a day at the beach and make it stressful.

I am not entirely certain how best to interpret it, but basically the location signifies an intersection between the rational (beach) and irrational (water) state of mind. Looking at the water signifies major changes I'm facing, and looking down the beach means I'm seeking to return to that which is familiar. The baby can mean lots of things, but perhaps it means an attempt to return to innocence, or the need to take baby steps towards a goal. And weirdly, the balloon is not a cheery little trifle - it signifies "frustrating conditions" that I am trying to "rise above." A balloon that pops "symbolizes an unrealized goal or dream."

So should I be freaked out? There are a couple of situations in my life that I wish were better, so I'm wondering if the dream was me subconsciously working one or both of them out. Or, maybe it is just a "day residue" - we are all about to go to the beach for a week's vacation really soon, and I've been thinking about that a lot (at least, wondering how I'm going to pack for it).

Do you ever spend any time thinking about your dreams? Or your kids' dreams? What do they tell you?

5 posts in 1

I had a few posts going in my head over the weekend, but none of them amounted to one substantial piece, so I am combining my ideas into this totally random post...enjoy

1. I wake up at 5:20 AM on the dot. No matter what time I went to sleep the night before, I am awake at 5:20 AM. No matter if M is awake or not, I am awake at 5:20 AM. No matter if I threw back some cocktails the night before, I am awake at the God awful hour of 5:20 AM. I used to tell stories about how M did this - no matter what time we put her down, she was up at 5:45 - and now somehow I have become my daughter.

Now, I am the type of person that needs their 8 hours of sleep. Never have I been one to sleep in late in the morning (I consider 8 AM late) but I absolutely hate to be woken up in the morning before I am ready to get up. So this new pattern (has been about 2 weeks now) is driving me insane. I am not waking up refreshed and ready to take on the day, I am waking up cranky, with puffy bags under my eyes, which does not make for a pleasant Mama J the rest of the day...I have tried a pillow over my head, eye masks, different temperatures and different pajamas, and even on nights away in a different bed, without my husband (let me clear this up that it was at my parent's house, not with another man :), the same thing happened. I don't like it one bit. Give me until 6, and then I will be a happy camper

2. I only shave above the knee once a week. This behavior started the creation of a post about how I am old, but the more I thought about it it has nothing to do with getting old, it is just sheer laziness. I no longer wear anything that shows off above my knee (more on that below), so why shave above it? When I have an inkling my husband and I might fool around, of course I take care of the ladyscaping (which now sadly includes upper leg-al area) and what not, but on regular days, I just don't have the time or energy to shave above my knee.

I never thought twice about this, until this weekend when I was in yoga pants, that I had rolled up over my knee, and sitting on the floor with M. I happen to have an itch behind my left knee and while I scratched it I noticed that I had long black hair back there. I yelped in disgust at my discovery of what looked like my husbands hairy chest behind my knee, and ran into the bathroom to immediately shave  the back and upper portion of my leg. I think from now on I will shave my entire leg all the time...I think.

3. I shop at old lady stores. Ok, so Coldwater Creek isn't necessarily an "old lady" store per-se, but it has been my Nana's favorite store for like 20 years now, therefore it is an old lady store to me. I remember Nana sending my catalogs of it in the mail with things circled that she thought I might like, and me being horrified that she would think I would ever like anything of the sort! And this past Saturday I was not only in a Coldwater Creek, but I purchased two pairs of old lady shorts. Now in my defense, I got the least looking old lady shorts they had in there (holy crap where there some high waisted mom-jean pants in there, and yes I tried them on).

Yes, they have come a long way in the last 10 years, but I was still horrified to find that the only shorts I actually liked (after trying many pairs on at Old Navy, Gap, Banana Republic and J.Crew) were from Coldwater Creek. I guess because my idea of shorts now is a Bermuda short that goes to right above the knee, and not shorts that are so low they show my ass crack and are so high my hairy thighs are hanging out for all to see. What is next, Chicos? Actually, I have already been in there and seen some cute things...who am I???

4. I am a binge eater and a yo-yo dieter. Now don't be thinking I have an eating disorder, I just like food - a little too much. In January I went on Weight Watchers, and within 2 months had lost 15 pounds. I was very good at counting points, and was working out a lot (which is the key to my weight loss success always). But then, like always, I love the way I look after the loss (eventhough I had 10 more pounds to go) so I cheat here and there, and skip working out because "wow I look good, I don't have to be as hard on myself as I was!" I also started doing the "I need to eat this entire bag of pretzels so they aren't in the house anymore," and found myself eating much more than I had been the last few months.

Fast forward to today, and I have gained back 5 pounds, and worked out today for the first time in 2 weeks. I guess this could go have gone into the "lazy" post as well. Today marks another start to Weight Watchers, with the hopes of dropping those 10 pounds, in addition to the 5 that I gained back in the last 4 months. I am freaking starving right now...

5. I have become my mother.  For my entire life people have told me "wow, you look exactly like your mother," and for some reason I hated hearing it when I was little. I wanted to be my own person, not her little clone, like everyone always said. I have always struggled with our similarities, both physical and mental, but lately I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing I can do...I have become my mother. Sometimes I feel like we even share a brain, as she will say something out loud right after I think it.

And to further prove it, this weekend my husband actually stopped me mid sentence and said "honey, you sound exactly like your mother right now." My first instinct was to walk across the room and slap him, but I thought about it for a second, and holy crap did I sound just like my mother in that instance. And probably many other instances, but you know what? I am cool with it. She is a very cool, magical lady, and although she can't keep her mouth shut for longer than a minute (this have yet to inherit thankfully), I am proud to be compared to her! And thankfully I married somene as gentle and kind as my father (and very easy going, which my father is not :), so we have a good chance of being married at least 37 years like them!

the gunapod by gunamuna

guna-wha? guna-who? gunamuna!

The zipper allows baby to
have his feet out too

Over the last two years since I started this site I have gotten many requests to review products, promote services and advertise events. I always tell people that I will not write about any product or service on the blog unless I or another Mama has used it. I have been contacted by everyone from food products (Back to Nature products are awesome!) to photographers that specialized in full-frontal pregnancy photographs (my boobs and lady land during pregnancy do not need to be frozen in time thank you) and everything in between.

Last week I was contacted by a local mom-treprenuer who offered to let me try out her wearable blanket that is just coming on the market. Of course! Who doesn't like free stuff! A few days later a lovely package arrived in the mail, and thus began my love affair with the gunapod by gunamuna.

My first reaction to this amazing contraption was how luxe it was - it is made of the coziest blanket fabric I have ever felt in a baby product - like the wool of a baby sheep (not that I have ever actually felt a baby sheep but I imagine it to be this soft and wooly). I showed it to my husband and he said, "do they make this in adult sizes, because I want one."

The hook of the gunapod is that there are many ways to get your child out of it. Unlike other wearable blankets on the market, there is a zipper that goes all around the outside of the sack, from armpit to armpit, which allows you to change babies diaper much easier that usual. There are also snaps on each shoulder. I was intrigued as we had never used anything like this before, and I was even more interested to see M's reaction once she was wearing it.

M enjoying her gunapod

That night, as soon as I put it on her she gave me this wide eyed look, stroked her belly a few times, kicked her feet up and then said "wwwwhhhoooaaa." Whoa is right M, it is awesome. And we haven't looked back since. It is so great not to worry about her being too cold at night, and sweating our butts off in our bed because we have to turn the heat up for fear we will freeze M at night. I only wish I had gotten ahold of this product back in the fall - we would have saved a lot of money in heating bills for sure.

The gunapod comes in 3 sizes: Small (3-9 months), Medium (9-18 months) and Large (18-24 months). We are using the large size, which we will be able to use for a long time as it is very room on M now. It is available for purchase at Bloomingdales in Chestnut Hill, MA, Hip Baby Gear in Marblehead, Wild Child in Arlington and all Magic Beans stores, as well as online.

And I will keep my fingers crossed in hopes of a Women's Large size coming soon! A girl can dream...

Clapping & Laughing & Talking & Dancing (& Less Sleeping)

The last 2 weeks have been filled with milestones for Baby M. Right around turning 9 months old, she has learned to clap on her own and she has been finding so many things hysterical, which leads her to the most incredibly sounding belly laugh I have ever heard. She has also started putting together some new words (ok sounds - it isn't like she is actually talking yet or understanding what she says) and she loves to dance when music comes on.

Baby M about to tee off on the 12th...or just put all that in her mouth

Now all of these things sound pretty trivial when I write them down here - it isn't like she is directly asking for things, or walking or solving long division problems - but each of these little things warms my heart and makes my eyes tear up when she does them. To watch this little being using her brain harder than she ever has just to get her hands to touch in front of her face is the most amazing thing ever. And when she actually accomplishes it and looks up at me with that beautiful smile - DONE!

For such a long time I felt like Baby M would do none of these things for a long time. She wasn't sitting when all the other babies were, she wasn't grabbing toys or playing with the other kids in our classes, so I thought she wouldn't be doing much of anything until a year old. All of the sudden it is like a switch went off in her brain and here she is ready to party!

And with this new found energy comes a big change in her sleep patterns, which I came to discover is VERY normal around 9 months with babies. Just a few weeks ago Baby M was taking 3 naps - 30 minutes in the morning, about 90 minutes after her second breakfast, and up to 2 hours before her dinner. She would go down around 7:30 - 8 and sleep until 5:30 - 6 the next morning, every night, with little to no fussing. Well about 2 weeks ago exactly she started screaming hysterically when it was time to for bed, waking up multiple times during the night, not wanting to nap at all during the day (2 days we went with 30 minutes worth of nap total and it was not pretty) and not wanting to be put in her crib at all. And add the fact that she is teething (getting in the top ones now I believe) you have a perfect storm.

Baby M on vacation last weekend. Too much fun.

And I forgot to add when I posted this earlier that now she likes to do acrobatics in her crib. When I put her down (on her back) tonight 10 minutes later she ended up with her head at the opposite end of the crib, on her stomach. I just checked the monitor and she is now perpendicular in her crib. Now that she knows how to move around in her crib this also is a contributor to the waking up. 

I started doing the normal mom-online-research and discovered that at 9 months babies go through what they call "sleep regression." At this point in their young lives their bodies and brains are working overtime as they learn to crawl (not in our case...don't think that is ever happening), start to talk, eat a variety of different food, start to pull themselves up, or get on all fours. Because of all this new stimulation, physically and mentally, their sleep habits are affected. For some unfortunate parents this can last months, but if you are lucky it only lasts a few weeks. There really is no "cure" for this behavior, so like all parents affected, we are just riding it out.

Now I must say that putting her down at night has become easier these last few days, but we are still not back to napping regularly as we were before. Which might mean that we are dropping one of the naps too - we will just have to wait and see.

So if your baby is going through all this same stuff, do not fret, you are not alone! Here are some great websites that I found helped tremendously for me during this time:

• http://www.askmoxie.org/2008/03/talk-about-the.html
• http://www.mamapedia.com/article/my-9-1-2-month-old-son-is-suddenly-waking-up-at-night

No Crib...Now What?

I was happy to leave my child in his crib until he left for college (I figured, it's hard to get a girl pregnant in high school if you have to sleep in the fetal position and your bed resembles a cage). However, my son had other plans. At 18 months, I found him straddling the crib rail - one arm and one leg reaching for the open space below. In attempt to avoid a toddler in a cast, I was forced to think of other options. If you also have an escapee, regardless of the age, read on. Otherwise, enjoy the crib and start convincing your children it's a totally legitimate piece of furniture for a tween ("Yes honey, I'll get you Hannah Montana sheets for your....crib.")

I always thought toddler beds were stupid. Why buy a tiny little bed when you can just put them in a normal bed? Well, as we all know, kids change your plans. Since a full size bed would have necessitated a move to another room, we decided to opt for a toddler bed. I considered buying a conversion kid for our crib, but those were more expensive than most toddler beds I saw online. Walmart.com has hundreds of toddler bed options in the $50-100 range; many cute Pottery Barn-esque styles. Buying the bed is easy - now how do you get them in it?

• Talk up the new bed. If you purchase it in store, let them tag along. However, if you're not ready to buy the Dora bed, keep it out of view. If you buy it online or cannot find a Dora Bed-free store, let them "help" you put their bed together. Remember, don't call it a "big kid" bed unless you know that something they're in to, some kids don't want to be "big" as that can be scary. Mention it's like mommy and daddy's bed or a friend's bed.
• Let them pick out some new fun sheets. Yes, I had visions of darling bedding. My son preferred the versions that basically look like Disney vomit. Let me tell you, it's easier to just let it go and sell your soul to Disney right away.*
• Put a gate at the door and turn their room into a "crib." Until they get use to their new found freedom (especially if they're younger, they won't really understand staying in their crib), move breakable, dangerous, and fun (e.g., toys) out of their room.
• Don't expect them to stay in their new bed right away, readjust your expectations and break out those old sleep training methods.
• Make sure they're really tired the first time you try the bed out. Whether it's a nap or bedtime, make sure they're super exhausted and can't fight you on the location. Or let them fall asleep someplace else and move them into their bed (unless they don't do well with mid-sleep moves); once they wake up a few times in the bed, they start to get use to it.
• Consider laying down next to them for a few nights. As mentioned above, you may have to break a few rules initially before you get back in the groove.

Around 2 1/2 years old, my son started waking up at night and wanting out of his toddler bed. Since I was pregnant, I just dealt with it (e.g., I just let him come into bed with us). When his brother was born, we moved him cold turkey to a new room. Since I wasn't ready to commit to big-boy furniture, he slept on a futon. He loved all the room (I think he may have been waking up since the bed was too small) and I didn't have to worry that he would fall off, since the futon is low to the ground. So if a toddler bed isn't your style or you have a big kid, consider other options like a futon or a regular mattress on the floor. Like everything else, there aren't hard and fast rules for this sort of thing, you've got to go with the flow.

*Disclaimer: My son easily transitioned from his crib to his toddler bed. For three months he slept happily in his bed. Then after a few weeks of being on vacation and sleeping in random places, he refused to return to his toddler bed. He wanted to sleep on the floor. So for 4-6 months, he slept in a sleeping bag on a floor. I figured, he's sleeping, so what's the big deal? I randomly ended up buying some Toy Story sheets I saw at Target. He happily returned to his bed that night without any issues. Henceforth, the sheet and selling-out-to-Disney advice above!

Thar she blows!!

The past couple nights have been rough. While I don't expect my 4 week old daughter to sleep through the night, I would expect her to grant her loving parents at least 2 hours of continuous sleep at a time. That is all I am asking for little one!

For the last 5 nights in a row Marlo has been going through somewhat of an eating-as-much-as-I-can-get-and-staying-up-all-night binge. As new parents, we figure, if she is hungry and wants to drink 4 ounces of breastmilk, she must need it! I wouldn't want someone to tell me that I couldn't eat a forth piece of pizza if I was still hungry after 3 (yeah I know, I need to go on a diet)...

So our little 4-week early peanut has been waking up at least every 2 hours and housing a bottle each time...what am I saying "waking up"? She doesn't sleep! After drinking down the milky goodness and keeping her upright for 15 or so minutes after feeding, Marlo falls asleep in our arms. We then proceed to put our little angel in her bassinet by the bed, where like clockwork - just after I get comfortable in bed with my pillow just so - the grunting starts. The grunting is accompanied by what we call "staccato" breathing. As well as the back arching, and the gurgling sound. Not exactly what you want your new baby to be doing. Needless to say this leads to me freaking out, and picking her back up in my arms...where again she would get comfy cozy and fall right back to her angelic sleepy mode. Not ideal, but at least I can get a few minutes shut eye in a seated position until my arms go numb, at which point I try to put her back in her bassinet, and the grunting begins again.

I should also mention that before the past couple nights, every time she would eat she would proceed to take a giant poop in her pants (what my husband likes to call "a big dump"). We started to notice that she wasn't pooping as often as she had be, so we figured something might be going on in her belly area.

So for four nights straight she basically slept in either of our arms, on my husbands chest, with me in our glider, or even between us in bed on the Boppy pillow (yes I know there is a big label on there that says SLEEP with a big X through it, but we got desperate!). I figured it was time to call the pediatrician!

Christine, our fabulous Nurse Practitioner at the doctors office, told me that what I thought was acid reflux was probably a bad case of gas, because each feeding was not accompanied by a large spit-up, AND this was primarily happening at night, not all day long (I am writing this at 9 AM and I just want to mention that Marlo is asleep snug as a bug in her upstairs bassinet - gotta love my little nocturnal vampire baby!!). Christine then gave me a list of a few techniques we could try with Marlo: pedaling her feet while she is on her back (like you would doing bicycle sit-ups), giving her a warm bath before bed (making sure her belly is in the water), increasing tummy time to 20-30 minutes a day (which meant doing tummy time in the first place for us, as we keep forgetting to do this), and finally giving her some long belly rubs (always my favorite thing to have done when I am gassy!).

We proceeded to try all of the above - and all she absolutely loved (especially the warm bath). But that night she still became Princess Fussy-Pants (daughter of Queen Fancy-Slacks and King Cool-Britches). The next morning (yesterday) I figured I would call my lactation consultant to see what they thought about the situation. After telling her how much Marlo has been eating, and guesstimating that she is about 7 pounds, she told me that we are overfeeding our daughter! Now, I don't know who to believe because the doctors office knows how much she is eating and didn't mention the overfeeding to us, but we were open to trying anything, so yesterday instead of giving her everything she could eat, we cut her off at 3 ounces. If she was still hungry after the bottle, I brought her to my breast for a little "dessert" (still don't have the breastfeeding thing down - see previous post :). This seemed to work, and we capped her off at 3 max all day long...

Fast forward to 8 PM, that night...the peanut is fed, the big humans are finished with their steak dinner and enjoying a glass of wine, the pooch all curled up in between hubby and I on the couch - one happy family. Baby is on daddy's lap, legs are being bicycled...and then it happened. My beautiful, sweet, eflish daughter turned into old faithful. Now, I have heard of projectile vomiting, but this was like nothing I had seen before. Marlo blew chunks all over my husband, the couch, and yes, the dog! Being out of the danger zone on the other end of the couch, I stared in amazement at the seven pound baby that just tossed her cookies all over everything, who was just lying there, acting like nothing happened. The pooch was so shocked that she got hit by friendly fire that she jumped over my husband off the couch and fled the scene of the crime (she ran into the kitchen where she proceeded to lick herself clean - gross but hysterical). I couldn't stop laughing at the whole situation, and thankfully neither could my husband - vomit covered and all. How could something so small create such a gigantic mess?

We then drew a nice warm bath for the exorcist baby and cleaned her all up (not once did she cry or fuss about the whole experience), as well as my husband. After a good swaddling and some time in the vibrating chair, she was good as new. And when I say "good as new" I mean that we actually got a stretch of 3-4 hours of sleep last night! I know, I am still in shock...it is amazing how refreshed we both feel.

As my husband said "she just needed to exercise that demon in her belly, I guess?!" Fingers crossed we get some sleep again tonight...

Happy New Year!

The Woombie!

For those of you parents that like things easy and no-nonsense, this is a product for you!

At part 2 of Baby School last night, we were introduced to all sorts of swaddling products out there on the market: SwaddleMe, Sleep Sacks with swaddles, receiving blankets, etc. But the stand out product was a fairly new to the market item called the Woombie.

It is basically a tight stretchy cotton sack that you zip your baby into, which mimics the feeling of being in the womb. Unlike other swaddling products, you don't have to make your baby keep her arms at her side while wearing the Woombie. She is free to move her arms around, but is unable to bring them above her head, which is the cause of interrupted sleep.

No more worrying about getting the blanket tight enough around your baby, no more worrying about her breaking free of the velcro swaddle tabs...now she is zipped up in a cocoon of Woombie goodness!

Visit their website for more details!

Sleep Wear

Sleep Sack - Because you aren’t supposed to use blankets in the crib, Sleep Sacks are a must. Register for both the fleece (for winter) and the cottons ones (for every other season).

Swaddle Me – These are also a must for the first 3 - 5 months of your babies life (that is if your baby likes being swaddled when sleeping). Like the Sleep Sack, register for both fleece and cotton styles.