Il faut faire le point, maman…

The French have garnered some parenting interest lately thanks to the book Bringing up Bébé.  But I am not here to defend or critique  that book—smarter and better writers than I have tackled that hoopla.  Rather, this week, my internal Francophile has been musing over a great French expression, faire le point. It has a number of meanings: finding one’s bearings, re-setting your compass, or taking stock of the situation at hand. 

Ever have one of those weeks where you feel like you got up on the wrong side of the bed, day after day after day?  When everything seems to get on your nerves? Waiting for the guy at the coffee counter who is more interested in flirting with customers than serving coffee…the lady in the fur coat in front of me at the grocery store fishing for that 24 cents of exact change in her enormous fanny pack (incongruous image, I know), the coffee leaking from that “spill-proof" mug into my overstuffed shopping bag…those little moments test my patience.

We all have those not-on-the-ball kinds of days, weeks, or god forbid, months.  But combined with a willful independent-minded 2 ½ year-old toddler, and it can be combustible.  Such was last week with my son.  Imagine: lots of throwing toys around, tackling his baby sister, and general misbehaving to get my attention. Already grouchy, I found myself at a loose end more than once, trying to keep it together for the both of us.  Not my finest hours of parenting. As I tried to take a deep breath during one difficult moment, I found myself thinking, Il faut faire le point.

I gave myself a time-out to get some perspective.  First, a little rant via email and voicemail to my two closest friends—both have young children and were able to give some reassurance: “Throwing and hitting aren’t acceptable. It’s good you are setting some limits,” and “It’s ok to be mad at your kid sometimes. We’re only human.” 

I also turned to some good old-fashioned bibliotherapy.  I took advantage of a couple of rare free hours in the afternoon midweek to go to a coffee shop, drink a latte, and read a little of “Positive Discipline” which helped me to find those bearings again. One of the phrases I thought was especially helpful was the guiding principle of being “kind and firm” with our budding preschooler. 

Not to say that we didn’t have more bumps in the road after that self-imposed time-out.  We muddled through a couple of more challenging situations, but also I tried out some new strategies, and slowly I am getting out of that rut I was in. My time-out was kind and firm to myself, which has translated to my being more kind and firm with my toddler.

The French have it right: Sometimes we gotta faire le point.

Radio Silence and the Art of Being Present

This weekend, my husband and I took the kids to a retreat with our synagogue. We stayed in a cabin, took walks in the woods, sang with the kids and made some new friends.

I was pretty nervous about going on this trip, since our kids are so young (2 years and 4 months). We weren't sure how they would do sleeping in the same room (they were great) or whether there would be other kids that young (there were) or if it would rain the entire time (it did, it didn't matter). But taking two young kids into the woods to uncertain sleeping and potty conditions was not the scariest thing we did this weekend.

Oh no, in the spirit of really getting away and observing shabbat, we turned off our cellphones. The entire time we were there.

I am a little embarrassed to tell you that this was even a big deal. What do I do on my phone that is so important anyway? Tool around on facebook? Be alerted that crocs are on sale at zulily? Schedule playdates for next week? Really. I am not determining the fate of the free world here. I am just so used to having the phone at all times, whipping it out to take pictures, look up the answer to a question, or read a book or some blogs.

Or check the time. My husband doesn't wear a watch and not having the phone clock totally stumped him.

I am most guilty of being addicted to the phone while nursing. Having the phone makes the time I am tied to the rocking chair a little adult break for me. Of course, when I am having that break, I am not paying attention to my daughter. I'm nursing her, but a good portion of my attention is on the palm of my hand.

It is important to me that my children feel like I am fully engaged with them. But I struggle with activities that honestly don't require my full attention, like nursing my daughter or watching my son take a bath. My mind wanders to the things I could be taking care of, the phone call to the roofer, the mess in the kitchen, the load of laundry that needs to go into the dryer. I like the idea of being fully present and really appreciating the little moments I have with my kids while they are so small. But there is just so much to do - those sippy cups really do have to be washed or my kid can't drink his milk later. And trying to be fully engaged in some of our daily activities is just mind-numbingly boring. Seriously, kid. Just eat the yogurt and let's move on.

The work of mothering is interesting like that - one moment you are bored to tears because FOR GOD'S SAKE GET OFF THE POTTY ALREADY YOU HAVE BEEN SITTING THERE FOR A HALF HOUR AND NO I DON'T WANT TO READ HOP ON POP AGAIN and the next moment you are totally overwhelmed because THERE IS ONLY ONE OF ME I KNOW YOU NEED YOUR MILK RIGHT THIS SECOND JUST HANG ON &*@*&% I AM COVERED IN POOP AGAIN.

ahem.

What I am saying is one second I'm really struggling the stay afloat, and the next I'm struggling to stay awake. What kind of crazy job is this? How am I supposed to be fully present when my day never seems to progress at the right pace for me?

If you have any answers for this, please leave them in the comments. Seriously - how does this work for you guys?

For me, I guess I'm going to practice. I am going to start by really cutting back on the phone. I may have to multitask between answering my 30th "why" question in a row and making dinner because we really do have to eat. I don't have to multitask between tummy time and twitter, because when it comes down to it, twitter just isn't important enough.

Mama J's Summer Must-Haves

I hope everyone had a lovely Memorial Day weekend! It's really feeling like summer here in Boston now with this beautiful warm weather. We spent about 90% of the weekend outside on the deck and in the yard, so I wanted to share with you some of my "must-haves" for summer. Enjoy!

M with her Chucky smile in full affect

1. Step 2 Water/Sand table: So we technically use this as a double water table, as I refuse to set up a stray cat litter box in my back yard. Got it at Costco for $40, and it was the best $40 I have spent there! We have practically spent ever waking moment we can outside standing next to this thing...of course your kid will get soaked, but what kid doesn't love getting all wet!


2. Inflatable Baby Pool: I purchased a giant one of these off Amazon in December and filled it with plastic balls. It has stood as a placeholder for the dining room table I have yet to buy for the last 6 months, and has provided hours of entertainment for M, my husband and I, and any other human (big and small) that has walked through our doors. It is now free of the plastic balls (but still holds the beach balls) and filled with a few inches of water...and it is providing even more good times for children and adults alike. I grew up with a pool, and can't imagine summers without one - this one just happens to be inflatable.

M & E in the pool. Notice M pouring water down her swim diaper

3. iPlay Ultimate Swim Diaper and Swimwear: When M was really little I purchased those "little swimmers" diapers for her to wear in the pool. They are expensive, and you go through them like crazy, as babes can't sit in them after they is out of the pool. I then discovered the iPlay Ultimate Swim Diaper and haven't looked back since. It looks just like bikini bottoms (or banana hammocks if you will for the lads), and is super absorbent, and you don't have to wear the disposable diapers underneath. I have two so I can swap them back and forth if she is going in and out of the pool. They dry super quick out in the sun, and are machine washable. We have yet to have a poop incident in them, so I can't report on how they work in a #2 sitch, but I love them! Plus most of them come with really cute matching sun protection tops.

4. Arbonne Baby Sunscreen: I have crazy sensitive skin (hives, rashes, red cheeks...and that is all before 9 AM - yuck yuck) so I am used to having to try 10 products before I find a brand that won't leave me itchy or burning. Unfortunately for her, M has inherited my sensitive fair skin and not the dark mocha silkiness that her father has, so it took us a few tries to find a sunscreen that worked and also didn't give her red splotchiness all over her body. Enter Arbonne Baby Sunscreen - it gives you great protection, it isn't thick (you don't stay white after applying), it is practically fragrance free, and is one of those good for you products without all the crap most other sunscreens have in them (how is that for science talk).

5. Foogo Sippy Cup: I am currently in the process of doing a big experiment with every brand of sippy cup I can find (stay tuned to a long and involved post entitled "The Great Sippy Cup Experiment of oh-11") and I have so much to say about them I don't even know where to start (to sum up my findings - most are crapola). But one I wanted to tell you about as soon as possible is the Foogo insulated sippy. If you need to travel with milk, and it is hot outside, you need one of these. It seriously keeps the milk cold for 4 hours...like crazy cold too. This is our go-to sippy right now...get one.

6. Water-Resistant Outdoor Blanket: It is picnic time, and if you are camping out on the grass a bunch and want your babes, and yourself, to be comfortable you have to get one of these. We got the Tuffo brand off Amazon.com and love it so much. Folds up easily into the nice little carrying apparatus.

7. A Paloma: What is a Paloma you ask? Well it certainly isn't for your kids, Mamas. It is a delicious cocktail that I wish my dear friend Miss Hall never introduced me to, because it was love at first site and I am a little obsessed. It is like my stoli & raz of '11. I want to bottle it up and make millions (wait, maybe I will do that, so forget I said it) like Bethenney. It is simply freshly squeeze grapefruit juice and tequila (don't skimp on the tequila as you are basically drinking it straight - my favorites [and I have tried many in the last month] are Patron Silver or Cabo Wabo silver)...and it is heaven. And yes, I am drinking one right now as I write this. Ahhh I love summer!!

Morning, Noon & Night Sickness

a guest post by a close friend soon-to-be- Mama T

The first thing you learn is that ‘morning’ sickness is a total misnomer, it is all day sickness. Some women have it worse than others, and I had it pretty bad. I read one pregnancy book that said “welcome to the queasies” and I almost threw the book out the window. What I had was not “the queasies”, it was full out vomiting all day every day.

So I tried every remedy that I could find online, in books, advice from friends and family, doctors, etc. If it was out there, I tried it. So I wanted to share those remedies in case it will help another Mama-to-be, and mostly to let you know that you are not alone!

Personally I was unable to control the morning sickness with home remedies and ended up having to take Zofran due to dehydration (the other option for me was to be admitted to the hospital for IV fluids, so I chose the less invasive route). If you are unable to keep down any water or liquids then definitely contact your doctor right away, or if you have signs of dehydration (infrequent dark urination, loss of skin elasticity, dizziness/fainting, etc), as dehydration can be harmful to your baby or this could be a more serious form of morning sickness called Hyperemesis gravidarum.

I was very resistant to taking Zofran (generic name is Ondansetron), since though it seems many women are prescribed it for morning sickness, the FDA has issued a B rating, so it has not been adequately studied in humans but no side effects were found in animals studies (check out www.safefetus.com for ratings on any medications). My husband did some research and found that the NIH has done a study where they found no negative side effects from Zofran in pregnancy, which helped me to feel a little better about taking it.

Here is a list of things that I tried (yes, I tried them all!):

·           Take your pre-natal vitamins! No, this doesn’t help with morning sickness, but it very important for the baby, especially if you are vomiting up all your meals. If your vitamin is making your sickness worse, talk to your doctor about a different brand/type. Some women have trouble swallowing the pills and end up taking chewable vitamins.

·           When you wake up in the middle of the night between 2-4am, eat a snack. This will help with sickness in the morning time, because as my doctor explained morning sickness is paradoxical, meaning that the more empty your stomach, the more sick you feel.

·           Eat small meals often- eat every 1-2 hours, whatever you can keep down, this goes along with the point above- so that your stomach is never empty.

·           Try sucking on Preggie Pops or hard candies. I found these to relive some of the nausea (not the vomiting though). Regular lollipops and hard candies worked just as well for me, for some women gum works or ginger flavor hard candies.

·           Drink fluids 1/2 hour before or after a meal, but not with meals- this is SO much harder than it sounds!

·           Drink small amounts of fluids during the day to avoid dehydration- if you can’t drink water (like me), try gingerale or seltzer, whatever you are able to drink. And avoid diuretics like coffee or tea that will make you more dehydrated.

·           Try acupuncture. I know this is not for everyone, but I did find some relief from it. Make sure to do your research and find a professional with experience and training treating pregnant women.

·           Foods to try: soda crackers (saltines with or without salt), lemonade/lemons, gingerale or ginger cookies (anything with ginger in it), caffeine-free ginger tea, watermelon. Or basically just eat whatever doesn’t smell horrible. For me it ended up being applesauce, crackers, pasta, cantaloupe, graham crackers, plain bagels, plain yogurt and just plain carbs. “Some women find that carbohydrates are most appealing when they feel nauseated, but one small study found that high-protein foods were more likely to ease symptoms” From Baby Center- however I say eat whatever you can keep down!  Foods high in protein include: peanut butter on apple slices or celery; nuts; cheese; crackers; milk; cottage cheese; soy, and yogurt.

·           Foods to avoid: fatty foods, strong smelling foods, fried foods or spicy foods.

·           Eat soda crackers (or whatever you can stomach) 15 minutes before getting out of bed in the morning

·           Get out of bed slowly in the morning.

·           Aromatherapy- lemons, ginger, lavender, peppermint- were some of the smells recommended.

·           Try wearing Sea bands. You can find these in the pharmacy, they put pressure on your inner wrist in the area that is supposed to relieve sea-sickness, the same pressure points used for morning sickness.

·           Avoid foods and smells that increase nausea. Um yeah, for me that was basically everything.

·           Avoid warm places (feeling hot adds to nausea)

·           Exercise. Haha, I will not lie, I did not do much exercising. Although getting outside and taking a walk (in an area without strong smells) did seem to help.

·           Vitamin B6 taken as a combination with the antihistamine doxylamine. In the United States this combination can be recreated by using Vitamin B6 along with over-the-counter Unisom SleepTabs (Not SleepGels or SleepMelts). NOTE: I would not recommend trying this without consulting your doctor, my doctor did recommend it for me, he called it the “miracle pills” (although it didn’t work for me), but it must work for some women!

My doctor said the absolute most important thing is to stay hydrated, so he was not too concerned that I was throwing up all my meals, but more worried that I couldn’t tolerate liquids and became dehydrated. He explained that the baby feeds off the vitamins already in my body, so as long as I could keep down my pre-natal vitamin, food intake was not that important.

The good news is that for most women the symptoms resolve by the end of the first trimester (12-14 weeks). Usually symptoms peak at week 10, so you may have an end in sight! However, some of us unlucky ladies it continues on into the second trimester and for some poor women it continues throughout the entire pregnancy. Based on my internet research symptoms are often worse and persist longer for women carrying multiples.

Operation: Nasal Passage Freedom

M has had a very stuffy/runny nose for the last 48 hours. In that short time it has become a slight obsession of mine to make sure her nasal passages are as clear as possible so that she can be comfortable. As someone who has suffered from chronic sinusitis her entire life (sinus infections from when I was very young until now, sinus surgery, multiple sinus infections a year, etc.) I am familiar with the misery that comes along with nasal/sinus issues and pray that M does not have them to the extent I have them now. What she currently has is probably a little cold, but to me it is what I like to refer to as a Nose Frida snot sucking extravaganza.

(Did I make you just throw up in your mouth a little?)

My Nose Frida has become Chewbacca to my Han Solo...a trusty sidekick that makes a lot of noise and gets the job done. It has traveled with me in the pocket of whatever I am wearing to whatever room we are hanging out in at the house. It has even come with us to Costco, and today Bloomingdales (where I bought it a fancy case using my friends and family discount - kidding of course).

This weapon of mass snot destruction is a lifesaver when your kid has a runny nose. One of my pet peeves is seeing a child with snot running down his nose and mothers not doing anything about it. Help your poor kid out! They can't blow, but you can suck (ok I am taking this too far now, but having so much fun!). Do not fear the Nose Frida. Your kid might struggle during the first couple uses, but soon they will be like M, who will actually hold the device in place in anticipation of sweet relief.

I also can't live without my Boogie Wipes. If I am unable to Nose Frida poor M, I always have Boogie Wipes handy to wipe away the boogs, as we call them in our house. M won't let me near her nose with tissues, as they are too rough, but the Boogie Wipes are nice and moist and also have saline in them to help clear her nasal passages.

Also a little "Little Noses" Saline helps to loosen up the trapped boogs (only really use this in the morning and before bed to make her most comfortable) before you use the Nose Frida.

I am telling you...the Nose Frida/Boogie Wipe combo is a must have for all Mamas out there. One thing I can guarantee is that my kid will not have a snotty runny nose when you see her, and if she does I will NOT be offended if you wipe it for her!

Watch out Mamas - I am coming for your kids noses!!

Guilt the Bag I Carry Everywhere

Guilt, the bag I carry everywhere.

When I was a little girl my mother would inevitably say, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" At various points in time the responses and dreams varied- Rockette (never hit the height minimum), chef (was discouraged by family because they worked nights and weekends), fashion designer (my ability to color inside the lines was a challenge), architect (despite long interest and success in math, I didn't think I had what it took)...you get the picture, I wanted to be a lot of things. At some point, my decision making at a ripe old age of ...17...deemed business would be the route I go.

So off to college I went, in pursuit of a degree and gainful employment that I hoped provided me enough money to live in New York City and to one day "be the boss...."

What does this have to do with being a new mom you might be asking yourself, and frankly, I'm not entirely sure it does. But that's my problem.

My entire life, I imagine a career for myself, but also imagined being a full time mom. My own mother had been a part-time nurse, and I always thought it was a disadvantage (having grown up in a town where most mom's did stay home). I always assumed I'd be a burgeoning executive, and then without hesitation and with plenty of means, that would go to the side for 10-20 years while I raised my children.

But as you know, life doesn't always go as imagined. I did become the executive I'd always hoped, but had never imagined, but it wasn't so easy to just turn away.

Estate Planning with Mama V: What Every Parent Needs to Know!!

I was about 4 months pregnant and flying in one of those tiny single-engine planes on my way to a Native American Indian Reservation in Northern California on a work trip.  We hit an air pocket and the plane dropped several feet.  Other people cried out.  I gripped the armrest with one hand and my baby belly with the other.  That was the moment it occurred to me that I was going to be a parent.

What I mean is, that’s when it became clear that not only would I have to take good care of me and make sure I stuck around as long as possible, but also that I would really be, forever, responsible for another actual person.  As the plane bobbed around a bit too much for comfort, I found myself daydreaming and imaging who my baby might someday be.  Suddenly I wasn’t just envisioning the little Gerber baby I couldn’t wait to snuggle, but I was seeing a school-aged child, a teenager, and even a young adult.  I felt heavier, not just because I was in fact getting heavier by the day.

I felt the weight of that responsibility and I knew I had to do something about it.  When I returned to our condo in downtown Washington, DC from that business trip I told my husband that we needed to “do our Wills.”  Both of us being lawyers, we thought, “how hard can this be?”  So I set about drafting them for us with some sample forms from some Continuing Legal Education course offered by the local Bar Association.  Then, I confess now to you publicly, I set it all aside…for 3 years.

Go Bananas Before Baby!

As I was pushing baby M and the pooch through the Arboretum this morning I watched the runners zoom by me and head down these mysterious trails into the woods and up hills and all around. I thought to myself "I wonder what is down there? Well, I guess I won't find out because a stroller can't go on the woodchips and up that steep incline. Maybe I will come here without baby M one day. No, that will never happen, I guess I will never know..." And those insanely deep thoughts led me to this post. What do I wish I did more of before I had baby M (besides taking the off-road trails of the Arboretum - ha!)? Here is my advice to you soon-to-be new parents:

1. Go out to eat as much as you can. Yes, you can still go out to eat once the baby comes, but not to your favorite fancy restaurant, and not at prime time eating hours. We can go out now at 5:30 if we want to hit the hot spots, which is nice because it is quick service, but some places can't so much accommodate a stroller, and most places don't really want babies there I am sure. We have gone out after she has fell asleep, and had her with us in the stroller, but that is only to local restaurants, not anywhere in the city. And then the entire time we are worried about her being in the way, or making a peep, or it being too loud, so we don't truly get to enjoy our meal. Of course you can use a babysitter, but you will still be worrying about your babe most of the time and will be on a schedule. Again - Go out as much as you can just as a couple!!

Good Times in Vegas

2. Go dancing with your girlfriends. Before babies were even talked about, I used to go out dancing with my girlfriends at least twice a month. You know those crazy nights were you get all dolled up, wear your high high heels, drink 10 Captain n' Diets and end up dancing either on a table, on a pole, or riding a mechanical bull? Oh I miss those sweaty nights on dark dance floors dancing to hip hop with my ladies (and the occasional random man until he gets to gropey). Now the only time I dance with my friends is at weddings! How pathetic. Since we now all have kids it is nearly impossible for us to get together for lunch, let alone a crazy girls night out. And one of us has been pregnant for almost three years now, so there hasn't been a time where we could all go out and do it up. Again - Strap on those stilettos and go dancing with your girlfriends!!!

Santorini - One of my favorite places

3. Go on vacation. I don't care with whom, but go on vacation to places you have never been. My husband and I did a Mediterranean Cruise to Egypt, Greek Islands and Turkey before we started trying for baby M and damn am I happy we did it, because it would be another 20 years before we are really able to do something like that again. We made it a point to go to Montreal (somewhere I had always wanted to go) as our babymoon because when would we have time to go now? I have always wanted to go to Paris, and now it will be years before we can make that trip. Go on vacation while you can!!!

4. Have alone time. Once the baby comes, you are never alone. Stay home alone one night and enjoy a glass of wine and a movie. Take a hot bath (while enjoying some wine) by yourself. And when I say alone I do mean by yourself, but also enjoy time alone with your partner at home too.

5. Speaking of alone time with your partner...HAVE LOTS OF SEX. Because you won't be doing it much when the babies start coming!

6. Read books. Read as many books as you can. Do not put it off because you will have NO time to read once the baby comes. That is not true - I read to my daughter every night, and I have read many parenting how-to books, but a novel? No dice.

I used to enjoy exploring the city with my camera

7. Enjoy the city. No matter where you live, get out and do the touristy things you wouldn't normally do. I wish I went to museums more, went shopping more, went to more Red Sox games, more concerts...all that sort of stuff before baby was born. Of course I can do them now, but it involves so much more planning than it did before. I miss the days where I would go downtown and spend the day shopping by myself, and take in lunch outside on Newbury by myself.

8. Go to the movies. You cannot bring babies to the movies - unless it is the "Baby Pictures" that is once a month at the movie theaters. I used to go weekly, even by myself some times. I miss it terribly.

What are some things you miss doing now that baby is here?

Back to Work: A Survival Guide

by Guest Blogger Mama RK

As I recently mentioned to a few of my fellow new mom friends (and had been said to me before returning to work), often the anticipation of going back to work and leaving your baby is in many ways the hardest part of going back. It is certainly not the only hard part, but the idea of separating yourself from your baby—who you have to this point rarely been separated from—is hard. No matter what your situation, you can't imagine how either of you will survive the separation.

I am here to reassure you that you will both survive.

The first thing to know is that no matter who will be caring for your little munchkin, they will not replace you. Your baby will always prefer and love mama more than anyone else in the entire world. He will squeal when you come home. He will coo and smile and stare at you in awe.... it is amazing. So even if you are away, he won't forget. And generally, your baby will also adjust to your childcare provider—demonstrating excitement and ease when you transfer care and understanding the different roles you each play. It is amazing how a little person can adapt and understand this—sometimes even better than mom!

As you chose your child care, it can seem overwhelming. Everyone has an opinion (yes, this seems to be the common thread through all things of being a new mom!). You and your partner just have to trust your gut. Do what is right for you and your family. And do other mamas a favor; hold your judgment on how, where or why other families do other things. Choosing a child care provider is intensely personal, and chances are every person has their own doubts or reservations about the situation they have decided upon. There is no perfect situation.

As the big day gets closer…the impending d-day when you leave your baby for the first time to return to work, I have compiled a rant to help you through.

Part I: Allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself. Talk it out with your friends, your family, yourself (you can talk out loud to your baby). Get a manicure, a hair cut, a new outfit. Treat yourself to uninterrupted days with your baby, just enjoying each other. Layer it on thick for extra special attention from your family and friends who are able and willing to help you mentally and physically prepare for getting back out there. When you go back to work (to an office full of babies, if yours is anything like mine) you will likely be welcomed back like a hero. Bask in it. You will hear all the awful things that happened and didn’t happen while you were away, you will see how much everything is the same…nothing has changed. During your heroes welcome, you will also likely receive many praises about how skinny you look! Enjoy this too…don’t focus too much on the fact that the last time people saw you, you were probably the largest you’ve ever been in your life, so naturally you them you look skinny. Hey, and maybe you do look great, enjoy the compliments. Also, enjoy the slack people will initially grant you as a new mom. Have to leave early, no problem. Need to break away to pump, no problem. This doesn’t last too long, so enjoy it while it lasts—you’ve earned it.

Part II: Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Put your situation in perspective. According to the last census, 55% of mothers work out of the home, you are not the first, you will not be the last. Of these moms, many are returning to much more physically demanding jobs, possibly much sooner than you, and many to much less financial rewarding or mentally fulfilling.

Sure, sure, we all know someone who had a year off. Or who’s boss suggested they downgrade their hours, but keep their pay and benefits the same…but that is an urban legend. Keep focused on how lucky you were for all of the days you did have, and how fortunate you were.

When you start to cry, leaving your little baby, imagine this: there is a woman somewhere in the world that on this very same day is leaving their child in much less desirable circumstances than you, to a much more difficult and less fulfilling position. You are not alone.

Part III: Back to work. Your job is to do a good job. Good enough that no one notices or cares that you leave when you need to leave. Again, ease your way back (suggestion: do not return on a Monday). Let yourself go home early more often at the beginning. If it is slower, leave. If other people are out, leave. Do your job. And if make sure when you are not with your baby you are killing it--no one will say a word. But you have to set your expectations for everyone. No one will say, "oh don't schedule this meeting at 530 b/c YOU want to go home..." they will try to schedule it. But unless it is your Boss or someone super-senior to you, try to work around it. Don’t bother to say you want to see your baby... you can just say you can't do that time. do it enough, and people will get the drift. I make a point of getting in 30-45 mins earlier than I use to--sometimes even earlier b/c I know that I want to squeeze in as much as possible earlier than later. To miss bed time kills me. You just have to own your own time. Depending upon your industry, working late may have to happen periodically, but hopefully in a different way. For me, I walk out btw 5-530, and then if I am really busy, after I put my daughter to bed, I get back on my blackberry or computer until all the world is quiet. As much as your manager will allow, do what you can on your own schedule. You alone are the guardian of that schedule, guard your time as much as you can so that when truly urgent matters come up, you will feel okay about not being there for your baby.

I’m not going to say that now that my child is a year that it is easy, or that I have it down. In fact, I feel like a mess all day, every day. I haven’t figured out when I can exercise, cooking is something I can only manage 3 work days a week, I feel like an older, uglier and more irritated version of my former self most of the time, and I want to figure out how to be the mom that has it together. But my daughter is amazing, and for each kiss from her or new word I hear; I would be this yuckier version of myself indefinitely if it meant she would be safe and happy always.

I haven't met any moms who think any of this balancing is easy. Moms who stay home have different, also very difficult challenges. And every mom has guilt of some sort; I think it is the unwritten rule of motherhood. But the other unwritten rule is that everything your child does will be a million times more rewarding than anything else you have ever experienced, even if it is at 2 a.m. and you haven’t slept for more than 2 hours in a row for a week.

The Happy Spitter: Part 2

A few months back Mama S wrote a post entitled "The Happy Spitter." This was before I joined Mama-dom, and of course never thought my baby would have this problem. Oh was I wrong. Not a meal goes by that my little munchkin doesn't spit some back up: sometimes just dribble out the mouth, and sometimes like she turned on a hose. But the great thing about it - she is not phased by it one tiny bit!

When she first started doing it so consistently I was driving myself mad by changing her clothes 5 times a day, and doing load after load of laundry filled with onesies and burp cloths...but then my husband made a life changing suggestion - "why don't we use one of the hundred bibs we have in the nursery?" While they might cover up all those fabulous outfits her grandmother has purchased for her, they are truly a clothing saver (see giant bib on happy baby on right :).

And as for burp cloths - anything that is technically labeled "burp cloth" is a waste of our time. We have come to use only receiving blankets as burp cloths due to the sheer distance this little one can spit up. We still have about 15 of those blankets that you get at the hospital (yeah, we stole a few more than were offered) and they come in handy daily during feedings at our house!

So the point of this post? I guess...use bibs if your kid spits up...and little burp cloths are for sissies.

Smooth Sailing...well, Flying! (THE SHORT OF IT)

Here are some tips for traveling with a newborn...

• Use Ziploc bags when packing your carry-on/diaper bag. Easy to grab things when going through security, or when you are on the plane so you don't have to take your entire diaper bag with you
• Use a small wallet/wristlet. I used a Coach wristlet and in it put my ID, some cash, iPhone and boarding pass. This way I didn't have to rummage through a purse or my big wallet.
• If traveling by yourself, strap that baby to you! I had my peanut in the Moby wrap and it made it so much easier to walk through the airport, go through security (FYI you do NOT have to take them out of the carrier to go through security), get food and shop for magazines in the tiny stores. If my husband was traveling with me, I probably would have kept her in a carseat and stroller, but I didn't want to have to deal with that all.
• Bring a Boppy: this was a lifesaver on the plane and made it all the more comfortable for both of us
• Get the Kindle application for iPhone: I have been using this for a while now, but it came in super handy on the flight. No fumbling with books and turning pages with one hand. It is free and is awesome.
• Feed during take-off and landing: I don't know if this did the trick, but I did this and she didn't stir for the three hour flight. It was recommended to me by my pediatrician because babies can't clear their own ears.
• If you have the UPPA Vista stroller, I highly recommend the travel case (amazon.com for $60). I checked it under the plane and was able to fill the bag with other things (pump, Ergo) because we just had the stroller frame in there - it fits the bassinet and seat as well.
• Take advantage of people offering to help. I felt like I was pregnant again with all the people offering to open doors, lift bags, and help me out with random things.
• If you are brining bottles, be sure to bring extra in case of delays

Do you have any travel insights or advice to share from your own experiences? Please comment!!

Sick of sickness

So my 13 month old daughter has her one billionth cold right now. Nothing serious – runny nose, slight cough, - oh yeah – and disrupted sleep. There is lots of talk out there about why it is “good” for kids to get sick. Mainly the conventional wisdom says that it helps them build up their immunities for later in life. If they don’t get sick now, they will get sick later. It makes sense to me right now, in the middle of the day, when I am sitting at my computer with a cup of coffee. It makes less sense to me, however, at 4:30 in the morning when I am trying to soothe my sad, sniffly daughter back to sleep for the third time that night. But whether it is actually good in the long run or not, the fact of the matter is that your child will get sick, and will probably get sick with some frequency in the first few years of his/her life.

Since there really is no way to avoid the common colds for these little ones, what can you do about it? If, like me, your child is in daycare, or you bring your child out to the children’s museum, the museum of science, playdates, or really outside for any reason – then your child will get sick so the question isn’t so much how to avoid the cold, but what to do about it when it happens.

I have found a few things that seem to help diminish the severity of the cold:

First – saline drops. My daughter screams her head off every time I try to get them into her. For the first few colds, I just quit doing it because I felt like I was torturing her, but after a few lengthy colds, I discovered that it really does help with the runny nose and it especially helps to keep a runny nose from turning into chest congestion. One suggestion – the doctor’s office has small, single dose saline droppers that they use (sort of like sample droppers). These are MUCH easier to get into a little nose than the giant “infant saline” droppers that you pick up at the store. Next time you have an appointment, whether your child is sick or not, ask for a couple of these sample droppers.

Also – hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. In addition to milk, I give my daughter tons of water, chicken broth in a sippy cup, and sometimes some watered down OJ. The more she pees, the quicker she recovers.

Lastly, I have found that boggie wipes which are just wipes soaked in saline, make nose wiping much more tolerable for my daughter than just using a tissue. If you don’t have boogie wipes, a warm wet paper towel works just as well.

Can't Live Without: Month One of Motherhood

As I was getting ready for bed tonight, I was frantically searching through a pile of clean laundry (that was on my not so clean floor waiting to be folded and at some point put away) for one of my Medela Nursing Sleep Bras. Due to the ginormous size of my boobs, and the over abundance of milk I produce (I am talking I could feed the entire Gosselin clan with these puppies), I have to keep them on lock down when I sleep at night, and the only thing I have found to be comfortable are the Medela sleep bras. After finding one that had become attached to the velcro tab of one of Marlo's sleepsacks, I thought to myself how I have come to rely on certain items the past 4 weeks and this led me to this post. I figured I should share with my other Mamas out there the things that I have found that I cant live without anymore (no longer is it my 5 inch Michael Kors heels and evening glass of red wine - ah how times have changed) in no particular order I should add:

1. Medela Sleep Bras: I mentioned it before, but I feel like I need to say it again - my boobs are huge. I can pump 2-3 ounces out of each boob every 3 hours, if that gives you any idea as to my milk production. But with this bountiful supply comes bountiful bosoms. BB (before baby) I liked my 36 small D boobs, and I liked to free them from their underwire cages when I went to bed at night. Those days are gone. Not only do I need something to put my breast pads (so that I don't leak through to my shirt) in, but I need something to keep them supported because otherwise I am in pain. Enter the Medela Sleep Bra. At $19.99 you can't go wrong with this sports bra-ish bra. I say "ish" because it doesn't have anywhere near the support of a sports bra, but it just looks like one. It is very thin and soft, and does the job I need it to do, without cutting into my boobs like most nursing bras do. I don't even feel it on when I sleep, which is what I was most looking for in a sleeping bra.
2. First Years Milk Storage Organizer: As I just mentioned, I am "Moo-tilda" so I need some place to store my excess. This organizer does just that. Keeps the bags of milk flat and upright, and doesn't take up too much room in the freezer. As for bags I love the Medela ones that attach to the pump, but they are pricey so I switched to these byLansinoh.
3. APNO: Better known as All Purpose Nipple Ointment, this prescribed ointment is like the La Mer of nipple creams. At $75 for approximately 3 ounces, this turned pumping around for me. I had yeast build up in my nipples (I know TMI) that was making them red and irritated and making feeding and pumping terribly painful. My Lactation Consultant called in a prescription (with doctor approval) for this wonder cream and away the infection went. I use it after each pumping and feeding and it makes everything soft and pain-free. I am not sure if the cost is due to my crappy insurance or not, but I do know that each batch is hand made when you order it, so that might have something to do with it. Either way, it is worth EVERY penny.
4. Carter's baby clothing: When I found out I was pregnant I went out and bought a bunch of baby girl clothes: short sleeved onesies, little dresses, and other impractical things for a newborn, but what the hell did I know! For the past 4 weeks, my daughter has lived in Carter's baby clothing. Especially the one pieces with the feet. Her little feet are too small for any socks, so these are perfect. Plus, it is 20 degrees outside! What was I thinking with the short sleeves? You can always find these on sale somewhere, be it Babies R Us, Target, JC Penny, Kohls or you can visit there fabulous outlet store in Wrentham. They are cheap, they wash up just fine, and you don't mind if your baby spits up on them, unlike the Ralph Lauren clothing she has hanging in her closet that she will most likely not wear while she fits them. So much for my fancy baby!
5. Things we stole from the hospital: OK, so we didn't steal all of these, they offer them to you, but I think we took more than alloted...and thank god! The first item is the white asymmetrical tops they put on your baby. For the first week or so at home, Marlo lived in these (whether solo or under Carter's gear)- wrapped in my second favorite item, the hospital blanket. My husband was obsessed with these for some reason, so we have about 15 of them. They are perfect for swaddling your little one before they can fit into any swaddling sacks. And finally the Nasal Aspirator Bulb-thing. I lived with this by my side for the first two weeks Marlo was at home (I got sick, therefore she was sick too and you can't blow a babies nose!). That was, until my dog got ahold of it and chewed off the pointy end (I should say she did this the two we brought home from the hospital). It is terribly gross, but so satisfying to suck out baby snot. HA! I have yet to find one of that size and quality in stores, so if you can get your hands on one, put it in a safe place!
6. My iPhone and holder: It gets lonely and boring to pump in the nursery for 15 minutes 8 times a day. My iPhone has become my new best friend. I just place it in the trusty holder (which about two years ago I was planning to invent and become a millionaire, but little did I know someone beat me to it), and hook it on my glider and play one of the many games I have on there (Scrablle, WordWorm, and Monopoly as of late). I have also loaded it up with a fabulous mix of songs (Disney, Rock Lullabies, some Indigo Girls, Ray LaMontange, Ella Fitzgerald, and instrumental music from movies) and put it on speaker while I am rocking the little peanut to sleep.
7. My Dutalier Glider: This was one of many very generous gifts from my parents, and has certainly been put to good use. We feed Marlo at night in this, we rock her to sleep, I pump while sitting in it, and I even take naps in it sometimes. We got the one with the highest back and widest seat to accommodate my large bum and my husbands crazy long body. Some people say you don't need one of these, but it has been a blessing to have.
8. DVR: I took a 3 hour long nap yesterday at 3 PM, and could have easily slept until this morning. Needless to say I don't stay up and watch tv like I used to - I don't even stay up to watch the 7:30 Jeopardy some nights. So I thank God for my DVR, and thank God that episodes will be new again this week!
9. SKYPE: I put Skype on my computer years ago so that we could talk to my sister-in-law and her family in Spain. Other than that yearly phone call, we never used it, until Marlo came. For Christmas I gave my grandmothers webcams (one is in Dayton, the other in Denver), and got them set up on SKYPE so that they could "meet" Marlo. My parents have it at their house in Florida now...we can chat with my brother-in-law and his family in New Jersey, and my father-in-law in upstate New York. While none of our family lives within a 4 hour drive, they are now in our living room whenever we want! For free! Who would have thought my 86 year old grandma would live to see the day when she would meet her great granddaughter via a camera on a computer. It is just like Horizons at Epcot!!!
10. My Husband: I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I am the luckiest woman on the planet as I married the best man alive. I kid you not. Despite having to be told on occasion that it is OK to buy your wife flowers (even if she says she doesn't want anything for her birthday or Valentine's Day), he is seriously the perfect husband. And now he is the perfect father. It makes me want to cry when I see him with Marlo in his arms (she is so tiny and he is so big) - I catch him just staring at her sometimes in amazement and my heart leaps. I sometimes forget that he too had been waiting for her so long...And now that she is here he goes above and beyond the expectations I had for him as a father. He is first to go to her if she makes a noise, always wanting to feed her, has no problem changing her (both diapers and outfits), always wanting to hold her in his long arms...he even came upstairs the other day with a book in hand and told me that he felt like reading to his daughter. I thought I would melt! Even being back at work, he is willing to get up with her in the middle of the night to allow me to get sleep. He is always concerned about me getting enough sleep, or being healthy (I was really sick for over a week and now again feel like I am coming down with something) - both physically and mentally. He has also taken over dog-walking duties for the next few months so that "his ladies" can be warm at home inside. Every day when he leaves work I get a phone call asking if he needs to pick anything up, and without question he will run here and there to pick up food or anything else I ask before running home to see all his ladies. I don't, and will never, take him for granted, and know that I am lucky to have such a loving husband (and a hot one at that). Sorry I got all shmoopy on you :)

Family, Table of 3!!!

by Mama M

When our baby was too big to be seen in public in his carseat, and with multiple failed attempts at dinner under our belts, we thought our eating out days were over, but with some lowered expectations and a few internet finds, we've been able to go out as much as ever. If you haven't gotten comfortable with "baby-dinners-out" yet, hopefully you can learn something from our mistakes.

Our first mistake - eating during his nap/bedtime. We've learned our lesson - now we waste time in the car or walk him around in the carriage until he wakes up from his nap, and if we're right up against his bedtime we just bring the food home or go through a drive-through- it's just not worth it.

Our second mistake - taking him to a quiet restaurant once we thought we mastered "baby-dinners-out". What seemed like harmless table banging at TGIFridays quickly became reason for myself and my husband to start sweating and reason to avoid eye-contact with diners around us. Our infant-in-the-carseat, not-a-peep-through-dinner nights are OVER. This one trip almost shattered our confidence for future trips out. We stick to the restaurants with the most noise now....any chain/theme restaurant, any pub....we leave the nice meals for just the two of us; spending a lot of money is not worth it when you spend the majority of the meal bending over to pick up thrown toys. Plus no one wants to get dressed up to go to a special dinner and see and mostly HEAR a baby at the next table.

Our third mistake - we saw the waitress clean the table with an old dirty rag before she put out the placemats, but 5 minutes later we couldn't keep our son from trying to rub his food on it, suck the edge of it, bite it...the more we tried to prevent our son from touching it, the more he wanted it. My mother found these wonderful table toppers that we now store in all our diaper bags, they're personally my favorite baby invention - biodegradeble, plastic placemats that have two adhesive edges that you can use to stick one edge under the table, and then stick the other side on the top of the table in front of baby. You can confidently put down cheerios, toys, etc. and know that even if your baby spends the meal teething the edge, they aren't making contact with the gross dirty water/germs of every previous diner. Plus, when the meal is over, you take them off, ball them up like a napkin and leave them behind - nothing to take home and clean.

Speaking of reuseable mats, we spent an entire vacation cleaning the wipe-off bibs in our bathroom, hanging them out to dry each night (it's not easy to clean carrot stains with just a bar of hotel bathroom soap). The solution? Bib clips - you can take any cloth or paper napkin that you get at a restaurant, make it into a bib (similar to the "bib" you wear at the dentist), and again, just like the table toppers, you can leave the mess behind.

Our fifth mistake - thinking "he just ate, we don't want to overfeed him". We later learned that when he sits with us at the adult table and sees us eat, he wants to eat....now we bring a jar of food and a spoon, and a zip lock bag or plastic bowl of cheerios. He has just as much fun quietly moving all the cheerios to the floor as he does

eating them, so for 20 minutes we've bought ourselves at least a taste of an appetizer, maybe even some conversation. Soon, we'll be consistently ordering kids meals for him - that will be another big exciting step.

Other nice to haves - high chair liners - we have two - one that can be used in the grocery cart too, and then one that's thinner, made by Fisher Price and only for use in a restaurant high chair. The latter is the best - it has two hooks for toys so that they don't fall to the ground....it's not meant to make the high chair a throne, but it keeps

him away from yicky leftover food crusties and whatever else the last baby left behind.

MOMMY FRIENDS

If there is one must-have accessory for new moms this season it has got to be the mommy friend. While the right bottle, crib, carrier, or toy are all helpful tools in caring for your newbie, nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is more important than the mommy friend. To that end, there is no better gift that you can give yourself than to go out and join a mom’s group or go out and make a new mommy friend.

The simple fact is that once you have a baby there is nothing that you care more about than that little being. As a result, there is no topic of conversation more interesting to you than babies – how are they developing, how are they sleeping, how are they eating, when will they do X, why aren’t they doing Y? It’s been 6 months and I still haven’t lost my baby weight. . .it’s been 9 months. . . it’s been 1 year. . . no one understands these topics better and is more willing to hash them out with you than another mom. More importantly, no one understands better why it is that you look so haggard and tired, why it is that you need to take a walk to the coffee shop at 6 a.m. (and is willing to join you), why it is that - even though you had plans to meet at 10 - you just couldn’t get there until 12:30 (or not at all). Your mommy friends get you, because they ARE you.

So if you do one thing for yourself after you baby arrives (or better yet, before it arrives) go out and make some mommy friends. The more, the better! Also look for moms with babies that are close in age to your baby (within about 6 months) and who live near you..

Here in the Boston area there are so many great ways to accomplish this. There are TONS of mommy groups in every town/city/block and they aren’t hard to find:

1) A good place to find out if there is a mom’s group in your area or if anyone in your area wants to start one is by posting on the Gardenmom’s website: (http://gardenmoms.findsmithgroups.com/signin.do) . This site is a great resource of other boston area moms looking for advice, or wanting to meet up.

2) Meet a group through an Isis Maternity class – for new moms, I highly recommend the Great Beginnings Class where you can learn a lot meet other moms with children the same age.

3) Join a baby music class in your area or a baby yoga class or a baby swim class. Any class with children in and around the same age is a great place to meet other moms.

4) Go to the playground - yes, even if you have a newborn – there is no easier place to meet other moms.

5) Go to your local coffee shop – your best bet is to go on a weekend when no sane person would willingly be awake (say 6:30-7 a.m.). There you will find all of the other moms and dads with their lovely children who woke up at 5:30 in the morning – just like your baby. Trust me, it is a great bonding experience.

And here is the greatest thing about mommy friends – you don’t need to know anything about them. You already know, just by the fact that they are also a mom, that you have more in common with them than you probably have with any of your old non-baby friends. So go do it! Don’t be shy. I promise you will not regret it.

The Happy Spitter

by Mama S

There are very few things in this world that gross me out. Cockroaches, smelly people on the bus, mold. . . oh, and Spit-Up. Even before I had my daughter, spit- up always really skeeved me out. There I would be, playing with a friend’s baby and then – SPLAT – all over me. I would wipe it off and smile and say “oh, don’t worry about it, all babies do it!” knowing the whole time that my baby wouldn’t do it, and wishing I could catapult myself home immediately to change my now rancid smelling shirt.

So imagine my surprise when my lovely daughter popped out and turned out to be a spitter. Now, let’s be clear, we are not talking about the occasional spit up – turns out, it is true that every baby spits. We also are not talking about the kind of baby who spits up after every meal – another very common phenomenon that can be remedied by keeping a few burp cloths on hand (hence, all those pretty, embroidered burp cloths that everyone brings out with them and secretly hopes to never get dirty)

No, my daughter spit up constantly, all day long, whether she had eaten or not, whether she was awake or not, whether she was crying or not. We are talking, ten, fifteen, sometimes twenty times a day. And here is the real bitch of the whole thing – there was nothing wrong with her. Babies like my daughter are known as “happy spitters.” Yes, I am serious. It took a while for me to become a believer too. I cried about it. I took her to the doctor. I made them a GI specialist take a look at her. I even tried putting her on reflux medicine. All to no avail. Turns out her only problem was that her digestive system needed more time to develop and the only medicine for that is time. As her digestion matures, I was told, the spit up would diminish.

OK, so that is all fine and good in theory, but when you are doing one THOUSAND loads of laundry a day while trying to raise your infant, it’s enough to make you lose your mind. I had to change her clothes constantly, and I had to change my clothes constantly, I had to learn to get spit up off the rug, off the couch, off my friend’s clothing. I had to buy millions of burp cloths and millions of bibs. All the cute baby outfits that I had for my newborn daughter were never seen because they were always covered in bibs. And to top it off, I had to constantly “warn” anyone who wanted to hold her that they were in serious danger of being spit up on (isn’t Karma a bitch?).

So for those of you with spitty babies (and even for those of you with the babies who occasionally spit up), I have some advice that only someone who has lived through it can offer. First, get lots of the cheap Gerber cloth diapers that they sell at Babies R Us and use them as burp cloths – they are the most absorbent and you won’t be bummed out about getting the pretty lace embroidery covered in spit-up. Second, find some cute bibs (I really like the Bumpkin’s Organic Cotton – cute and functional at the same time – also available at BBRUS). Third, get lots of cotton shirts for the baby that do NOT snap in the crotch – the last thing you want to have to do when changing a spitty shirt is to have to take off the baby’s pants in order to get the shirt undone. Fourth, go to Target and get yourself a bunch of shirts that you don’t care if they get spit up on. Fifth, always have baby wipes on hand as they are a great way to clean up spit-up when you are in a pinch. Sixth, to get spit-up out of a rug or other furniture mix dish-soap, white vinegar, and the hottest water you can get from the tap – rub the mixture on the spot and then cover the spot with a dry towel – works every time. Seventh, burp your baby often and keep his/her head elevated for about 20 minutes after each meal. Finally, know that it will get better and that eventually your baby will stop spitting up. It took my daughter about six or seven months before she stopped spitting up completely, but it finally did stop. So stay strong and happy burping!!!!!

Your Mission: Getting a toddler to eat!

by Mama E

Here are some things to try when your toddler has thrown a weeks worth of meals on the floor. Don’t resort to a diet solely of french fries just yet. It can take a child 40 tastes before they “like” something. In an ideal world, their eating everything you are, but even a good eater will have their quirks. Here are some ideas that might save your last two unfrazzled nerves.

· Eggs are easy for kids to eat. Try them scrambled or hard boiled (a great make-ahead snack). Or make mini crustless quiches in muffin tins. It may sound a little too Martha Stewart-y, but you’ll be able to pull them out of the fridge for a week. Fill them with a bit of chopped spinach, cheese, ham, or any other goodies.

· Meat can be an “on-the-floor” item for kids. But on second thought, it is not surprising – looks weird, weird texture too. Yet every kid loves meatballs. Make your own or buy Wolfe’s Neck Farm meatballs (available in the frozen section at Hannaford’s), a regional product produced by a small farm in Maine. You don’t need to give up on chicken. Try shredding it with a little barbeque sauce. Trader Joe’s has excellent skinless boneless thighs that are easier for kids to chew then chicken breasts.

· I’m not above adding a little sugar or cheese to get a kid to eat veggies. Try a little sautéed spinach with a bit of butter and cheese – they’ll get enough vitamins they can eat french fries the rest of the week. Or mix steamed carrots with apricot jam. A little butter mixed with dill or garlic will make most veggies more palatable. And every kid likes ranch dressing; use it as a dip for steamed green beans.

· Not ready for peanut butter? Try sunflower seed butter, a peanut butter like product that is free of nuts. Or try cream cheese and jelly. Many kids also love hummus or guacamole. Or avoid the sandwich altogether and roll up ham or turkey with plain or chive cream cheese.

· Think outside American cuisine. Quesadillas are another opportunity for hiding products. Mash some black beans and add a layer of cheese, guacamole, salsa, and sour cream. Veggie tempura and edamame are good options when you’re having sushi.

· There are plenty of adults that don’t like fish, but a good flaky fish is very eatable for kids. Try barbeque sauce on wild salmon. Make your own fish sticks or find a brand that isn’t full of fillers. Mix some cod with an egg and breadcrumbs and make tiny fish cakes for your little ones. Of course, serve with ketchup!

· Most kids could live on buttered pasta, but try and push the limits a bit. Make your own easy macaroni and cheese by mixing hot noodles with a log of goat cheese and some canned, diced tomatoes. And if you’re feeling lucky – throw in some spinach too. Some ravioli have thick edges that are hard for kids to bit through – try Barilla’s dried tortellini instead.

When you’re having your Martha Stewart moment, make some muffins. But you don’t need to work totally from scratch. Buy a whole wheat baking mix (try Trader Joe’s) so you can add the sugar to your taste. Fill with bananas and blueberries. Save a few for the week and then pop the rest in the freezer.