We Never Look Our Age

Here is M and a former classmate. 

Last week in our parent teacher conference M's teacher told us a funny story. One of M's classmates had come up to the teacher and said that M wasn't telling the truth. M had told this child, who is 5 years old, that she is 3 years old, and this child didn't believe her, so he went to the teacher to inform her of what he thought was a lie. The teacher informed the student that yes, M is in fact only 3 years old, but she looks a lot older than she actually is because she is so tall. The kid was stunned. M's teacher then went on to tell us in the conference that sometimes she too forgets how young M is, because she is actually one of, if not the tallest in her class of 3-6 year olds.

This is something our girl is going to have to deal with her entire life.

In just 4 weeks from now M will be 4 years old. She is a head above most of the kids her age. She is in size 6 clothing (due to her crazy long arms and legs - she can only really wear leggings as pants just fall off of her). She is in a size 11.5 shoe. She looks like she is 6 years old.

Whenever I tell anyone how old she actually is they are shocked. But then I go on to explain that her daddy is almost 7 feet tall, and I am 5 foot 9 inches tall, so our kids are going to be giants.

I remember when I was young, I was always one of the two tallest girls in my class. I hated it at the time. All the boys were shorter than I was. All of the girls that were liked by the boys were petite and shorter than I was, and I felt like this big freak show towering over all my friends. It wasn't until high school, when the boys caught up with the girls, and I had many more girlfriends my height, that I actually became comfortable with my size. And then marrying a very tall man changed my world and allowed me amass a fabulous collection of 4+ inch heeled shoes...that I can't stand to wear anymore because I am old and prefer flats. Ha.

But even at a young age, despite my height, I was always mistaken for being much older than I actually was. Guess how old I am in this photo on the left (with my gorgeous mama)...15. I am only 15! I look like I am in my mid-20s. I used to love that people thought I was much older too, but in fact I was usually the youngest kid in my class.

These days I get something totally different - whenever I am out with my mom we are constantly asked if we are sisters. My mother is 61, and I am 34. I will give it to my mom that she looks younger than 61, but sisters? Was I our parents' later in life mistake? I am sure people do it more as a compliment to how good my mother looks, but I get so fired up when it happens - and it happens often. We once even got asked if we were twins. Come on now people!!

I worry about M being perceived as being older than she is. I know she is a smart girl, so she will have no problem academically (at least I hope) but she will always be a little more emotionally young than people think she should be. I am not going to lie, sometimes I forget how young she actually is. I expect her to pay attention to me all the time, and do things for herself, and find myself getting frustrated when she can't do things I ask of her. But then I remember that just a year ago she was in diapers (unbelievable to think about) and only a little over two years ago she was starting to walk on her own (she was a late walker)!

Let's hope M and I both get my mom's genes and at some point do a 180 and start looking younger than we actually are...

The End of the Streak

We were going for a record...I had heard of it happening in other people's houses, even close friends had it happen in their homes...but never had it happened in ours. My girls would never, I thought. I can't believe other kids do that and their parents somehow deal with it. We were close once, but I took action before it came to fruition and we avoided disaster. And then last week, after it never happening for almost four years of having children in our lives it happened...

Val pooped in the tub.

It was a normal week day evening. I had just finished feeding the girls and as I do every night took them both up to take a bath before getting ready for bed. They were both playing nicely in the tub together, so I let them stay in there for a few minutes after they were clean. I sat, as I usually do, right on the bathmat at the edge of the tub. I picked up my phone to text my husband to see when he would be coming home, when out of the corner of my eye I see Val stand up in the tub and place her hands on the edge of the tub, and then squat down, like so... (yes, I know I forgot to give her hands in this drawing)

I look up at her and she gives me this scrunched up little devil face and her best little feral animal growl.

No.

No, she can't be.

Is she making the poop face?

Did she just? No, she couldn't have.

And then, she reached around in the tub and stood up...

...with poop in her hand.

She let out this high pitched scream and squeeze her newfound prize in her hand. All the while, M is just playing quietly with her mermaid dolls, back turned to her tasmanian devil of a sister. 

this looks more like a cross between Nene Leakes
and Kristen Schaal than it does me. 

I screamed at the top of my lungs and grabbed M so fast she had no idea what was happening. I wrapped her in a towel as she is all "what is going on mom? What did Valerie do?" I tell M that Val accidentally pooped in the tub, and of course the first thing M says is, "Valerieeeeee! Tubs aren't for pooping! Why did you do that!!" and then quietly..."can I see it?" 

As M is trying to peer around me into the tub and see what is happening, and I am trying to wash Val's hand off with a wash cloth, I couldn't help it...I just burst into laughter. It was the most hysterical scene I have ever been a part of. 

My little Neanderthal did her thing. It was absolutely disgusting but I couldn't help but laugh at M's reaction and the way Val stood up holding the poop in her hand like she had just scalped her enemy and taken a prize for herself. 

That shit was funny. 

I can't wait to tell her about this when she is older. 

Meal Time: Negotiations, False Promises and Empty Threats

I used to brag about M's eating habits here on the blog, feeling sorry for those parents out there whose kids only ate peanut butter and jelly or chicken fingers. I had a 3 year old who would eat grilled pork chops, steak, all kinds of fish or curry chicken salad. Basically anything I would put in front of her she would at least try. When we would go out to restaurants with friends I wouldn't even look at the kids menu - I would order her a fancy appetizer and she would eat it while her friends would just pick at their hot dogs and french fries.

Those days are long gone.

For the past month or so M's diet has pretty much consisted of fruit, mac n' cheese and snacks. So many snacks.

I loathe meal time in our house now. I will go through a menu list with M, asking her if she wants this, or this, or this (all things she used to like) until she finally gives me a yes. Let's say that she asked for a ham and cheese sandwich. I make a half of sandwich, because I know she will only have a few bites at most and I am sick of wasting food on my children. I put the sandwich in front of her and she will poke at it and say something like "I don't want a sandwich!" I will tell her that she had other choices, and this is what she asked for, so this is what I made, and this is lunch...eat it. Then she will go into the "I'm not hungry..." whine, which is not true because five minutes before this she was screaming about how hungry she was...for a cookie, or some other treat.

And this is when the negotiations begin...

"If you eat your sandwich I will give you some cherries..."
"I don't want cherries."
"If you eat your sandwich I will give you a jellybean."
"Two jellybeans?"
"Fine, if you eat your sandwich I will give you two jellybeans."

M eats two bites of sandwich.

"I don't want anymore sandwich. Can I have ice cream?"
"Absolutely not. Eat your sandwich."
"I don't like this sandwich."
"Yes you do. You just ate one two days ago and loved it."

M picks apart the sandwich and sticks a finger in the mayo, smells it.

"What is this white stuff? I don't like this stuff."
"That's mayo, and yes you love it. You licked it off the spoon the other day and loved it."
"I don't like it on the sandwich."
"Eat your sandwich."
"I want a cheese sandwich."

I remove the ham. Viola! A cheese sandwich.

"I don't like cheese sandwiches."

I feel the anger bubbling up inside me. On one side of me is a stuborn three year old, and on the other is a 12 month old screaming at the top of her lungs because I just told her for the 100th time not to feed the pooch. Said 12 month old is now sticking her fingers down her throat, trying to gag herself - a new fun meal time activity that she thinks is hilarious.

"If you eat your sandwich, maybe we can go to Whole Foods for ice cream tomorrow."
"Can I get vanilla ice cream?"
"Yes if you eat your sandwich."

M takes one bite.

"Can I have ice cream now?"
"No, eat your sandwich."

M fakes taking a bite of her sandwich and thinks it is hysterical. Anger bubbling...

"M, you need to at least eat this part of your sandwich (I rip already tiny sandwich in half) or we aren't going to see Grandma tomorrow." This of course is an empty threat as we are already packed and ready to head to Rhode Island...
"I want to see Grandma!"
"Then eat your sandwich!"

"I have to go potty!"

Ah, the potty ploy. Whenever M doesn't want to eat her food she will tell me she has to go potty. She will go into the bathroom, settle herself atop the porcelain throne and read whatever magazine I have in there - for at least 5 minutes.

"Did you go potty?"
"Not yet mom!"

Another 5 minutes go by and she comes out of the bathroom, but races by the table into the playroom.

"OH HECK NO! Back to the table..."

Queue the meltdown.

If Daddy is home, this is when he will follow M around the house, with sandwich in hand and force feed her bites in between her laps around the house. I am not a big fan of this method, as I too am stubborn and think she should be sitting down at a table when eating. But, at least she is eating something. There is something about Daddy being home that gets the girls to eat their food.

But, because she isn't eating much at actual meal times, she is now snacking like crazy. I would rather just give her a bowl of grapes than not feed her between meals because I don't want to hear the whining constantly that she is hungry. I think the only way I could actually get her to eat what I make for her at every meal would be to sit a bowl of ice cream in front of her as incentive to finish her food. That is one way to win parent of the year.

Now her sister...she is another story...for another post.

This isn't college...it's preschool

Warning: this is a long one ;)

Harvard cares about pre-schools right? Wrong.

I will never forget a conversation I had with a friend 2 years ago - our daughters are exactly the same age (1 at the time) and she was already applying and interviewing at some of the prestigious Boston pre-schools. I remember thinking "you have got to be kidding me!" when she told me how much the school was going to cost per year, and judging her for even thinking about sending her child somewhere where there was an application "process" much simliar to applying to college. I will never send my child somewhere like that! She can't even talk! It is pre-pre-pre-school?! I won't care where my daughter goes, as it really isn't even real school yet! I am going to send them to the cheapest most convenient school possible - they won't remember their time there, and I sure as hell don't think it will make an impact on the rest of their lives...is what I was thinking...

Well, fast forward two years and here I am running to the mailbox every day frantically searching for acceptance letters from Boston area pre-schools.

I didn't think I would be in this situation. Last year we decided to send M to a local pre-school, which reminded me of Sunnyside Daycare from Toy Story 3; bright and colorful, kids laughing and playing, fun art projects, nice teachers, etc.. We had planned to keep her there for at least 2 years, and then apply to private schools that have pre-school programs, in and around Boston, for the remainder of her schooling (why private is a whole other post for later.) She started camp there last summer, and after a day or two of clinginess she was walking right into the classroom and telling me to leave. I assumed we had found a great fit.

Every day I would pick her up and the teachers would tell me "she had a great day today!" so I went along thinking all was well. Then we were called into the office in October. The head of the school explained to us that M doesn't play with the other kids, but only plays by herself. Ok, she is not even 3 yet, that is normal, right? We were asked if she talks at home...yes, she talks all the time (she had talked before she started school, but since going to school she talks well beyond her age and we have a hard time shutting her up at home.) To our great surprise we were told by the teachers that she only says 3 words while at school. And that she gets upset when asked to do anything...and that they are focusing a large part of their time on getting her to listen or follow directions...and...well, the list went on.

At the time, we knew that she was behind the kids as far as gross motor skills were concerned, so we followed the advice of her current school administrators given at that October meeting and put her in physical therapy at MGH. Within weeks she had improved by leaps and bounds, and I could immediately see her becoming a more confident little lady. I thought all was good...until we were called into the office again in January.

Again we were told that our energetic, playful, creative little princess, who does not stop talking or singing at home is totally shutting down at school. She still wasn't talking much in the classroom, still not playing with the other kids, and was still not following directions. Her teachers had never once indicated that any of this was still going on...I just kept getting the "she had a great day today!" report when I would pick her up. It was at this point that my husband and I decided we needed to find a different school for her - one where she is comfortable enough to let her personality shine.

We immediately started to research Montessori schools, as well as some private schools that had pre-pre-school programs. For all of these schools the applications were due a week after we had that last meeting with schools so we were scrambling like mad people filling out applications, scheduling visits, scheduling evaluations for M at each school. We had found a school that we really loved (non-Montessori), we felt like our interviews and assessments went incredibly well, and we seriously had no doubt that we were going to get in. That was until we got the small envelope with the rejection letter in it.

You would have thought M had gotten rejected from Harvard. I was in tears, my husband was distraught. We wondered what we did wrong? Should we have called in some favors (we knew a few parents of current students there)? Did something happen while M was being evaluated in the classroom? Did I say something wrong at one of the meetings? Was I trying too hard when talking with the Head of Admissions? Did the evaluation from her current school put the nail in the coffin for us? (We are pretty sure that is what happened...but we will never know for sure)

So we move on...it is pre-school for crying out loud. And cry out loud I did when we didn't get into that school. But I am hormonal and cry at everything these days...that is another blog post.

We got in everywhere else we applied, and have narrowed it down to two Montessori schools. I am actually excited about the chance to send her to a Montessori school, somewhere so different than her current school. I am hoping she thrives in the Montessori atmosphere and can be who she is at home, at school. But we will have to see if that is the case.

Now I am having anxiety over choosing which of the two schools to send her to. I keep going back and forth thinking in my head, picturing her at each of the schools, making a list of pros and cons for each school: (I will refer to them as school A and school B)

- Both are equidistant from our current house, but there is a chance that we might move to the town where school B is within the next year.
- School A was our favorite out of the Montessori schools we visited.
- We like the way school A tracks the kids during their independent time and encourages them to try new things often.
- We really liked the admissions director at school A, but in all honesty we won't have much interaction with her going forward.
- At school B the classrooms themselves are much newer and bigger.
- There are the same amount of kids (approximately 20) at each school, but there are more classrooms for the 3-6 year olds at school A (6) than there are at school B (4). This just means that when it is recess there are a lot more kids on the playground at school A - M does not do well in large groups of kids and I feel like this might overwhelm her.
- At school B each classroom has a pet that the kids care for, which I really like
- Each of the classrooms at school B have outdoor space, and the kids can utilize it whenever they want
- School B is right next to a preservation where the kids plant and grow things and spend a lot of time when the weather is nice. School A has a pond down the street that the kids visit when it is warm out.
-  School A has a wonderful reputation and is a prestigious school (at least I think of it that way)
- I got more of a hippie dippie vibe from school B, but I am not saying that is a bad thing - just felt a little more laid back and relaxed
- School B is much more convenient, in terms of location, for me to pick her up and head down to RI to see my parents while they are up here this summer - assuming M will be in summer camp at one of these two schools
- School A is significantly more expensive that school B

In true Mom fashion though I think about this all day long. I made the decision to send her to her current school, where she crawls into a metaphorical hole by herself each day it seems. I feel so guilty about making the decision to send her there (I was adamant about her going there and didn't even let my husband research other schools as I thought it was a perfect fit - boy was I wrong!) that I don't want to be responsible for making this decision, for fear it will be the wrong decision. Isn't that terrible? I will be the main parent when it comes to her school though - I will be dropping her off and picking her up. I will probably be on some sort of parent board. I will get to know her teachers the best. I need to be a big part of making this decision, which of course I will be...and like I said, she will only be there for a year or two, tops.

I am sure she will be fine wherever she goes. She has been a different kid when we visited these two schools. Talking to teachers, playing with other kids...there is just something about her current school that makes her clam up. To be a fly on the wall!

One of the schools (I will not mention which one) that we are deciding between M seems to like more than the other. I am sure it is because she has been there twice, as opposed to the other school just once, but each morning when I get her in the car to drive to her current school she actually asks to go to the new school, and subsequently starts to convince me that her current school is closed and we NEED to go to the other school.

Huh, maybe my decision is being made for me.

Stay tuned...

To M Every Day Is Opposite Day

As we approach M's third birthday in December, I look back on this past year and can't help but say we have gotten off pretty easy as far as the "terrible twos" are concerned. Sure there was a fit here and there, and lots of drama (she likes to look at her reflection in any surface and pretend she is crying - I mean even door knobs for crying out loud), but over all we have been blessed with a pretty mild mannered, polite, cool kid. I have heard from other parents that it isn't actually two that is terrible, but the age of three when the horns come out. Slowly but surely I am starting to see a sublet change in M's behavior here and there that makes me think her next year of life is going to be a adventurous one.

Lately I feel like every day is opposite day in her little head....

Last night she was constantly banging her fork on the glass table during dinner so I say, "don't bang your fork on the table sweetie, you are hurting the table and that isn't nice."

In her head I imagine she heard "Bang that fork on the table - and bang it as loudly as you possibly can! Momma would love it if you put scratches in the table!"

Of course the behavior continued after I told her again to stop, in my serious parent voice this time.

And in her head this time she heard, "oh you want me to throw the fork at you? That sounds like fun! Let me bang it two more times before I chuck this silver fork at your face!"

And said fork came flying in my direction, which of course outraged my husband and turned him into mad daddy, which scares the junk out of M. This seems to be the only way to stop M from doing what we ask her repeatedly to stop doing though.

Don't hit mommy!

What, you want me to hit you? Harder this time? Maybe some scratching too?

Pick up your paper dolls before you get out the letters.

Oh you want me to make an even bigger mess? I will just pour these letters all over the ground and then walk through my paper dolls to make them go all over the place.

Let's go into your room to get ready for bed...

Oh so it is ok that I run down the hallway to your room and jump on your bed? Sweet!

No you cannot go outside, it is cold and dark out.

What was that? (As she backs out the sliding door in slow motion, while grinning at me from ear to ear) It is ok to go outside? Without shoes on? In my pajamas?

Don't run with food in your mouth. Chew, swallow and then you can run...

Oh so I should shove more food in my mouth and take off running at full speed without chewing? Gotcha!!

And so goes every day here in Mama J's household. I should start trying a little bit of reverse psychology on this kid!! I can't imagine what she is going to be like when she is a teenager. That is when we send her to live with her grandparents.

Parenting Two Kids = NO JOKE

Today marks two weeks since I had my second child, Val. Let me start this post by saying that in these last two weeks I have gained more respect than I ever thought I could for mothers and fathers of two+ children. Holy crap, this job is no joke. I have so much to report that I could separate this one post into many, but I am going to just give you the facts. 

Here is Mama J's two week report: 

- I have a house husband. And I freaking love it - and love him even more than I did before for taking over all of my responsibilities, except breastfeeding baby Val. He has pretty much taken sole responsibility of M, he is taking the dog to the park every day, he lets me sleep all I want, he does the dishes, he does the grocery shopping and any other errands that need running. I rue the day he has to go back to work (next week at some point) but as he explained in order to keep our house, he needs to work, so I guess he needs to go back. Boooooo. 

- My boobs were made for breastfeeding. As I have mentioned a million times, I didn't breastfeed M. I pumped for 14+ weeks. This time with Val I was determined (and scared shitless) to breastfeed. Well, she took to it like a champ and my giant melon jugs are falling right in line with her. I am not in pain (except when milk comes back in), nips are good to go, and she latches like she was born to breastfeed. In the last 2 weeks she has put on one pound 5 ounces! 

- It is nearly impossible to get out of the house with two children. I used to laugh when my friends would talk about how hard it is to get out of the house with two kids, when I should have been giving them the benefit of the doubt. This shit is no joke. Just the sheer packing of the diaper bag for two kids takes 15 minutes. Diapers, wipes, change of clothes, burp cloths, snacks, drinks, tissues, Nose Frida, boogie wipes (M has been sick the past week), my wallet, phone, keys, nursing pads, hooter hider...and guaranteed I go up and down the stairs at least 3 times during the getting ready...and have to go back in the house once we are already out of the garage. And this is with two parents at home! I think when my husband goes to work I am just going to stay home all the time. 

- M loves Val, but does not like her. When M came to visit us in the hospital she was on the brink of tears the entire visit (only 15 minutes) and said repeatedly "I wanna go home." The second visit was even less successful and resulted in tears, for both her and I. When we got home she wouldn't even go in the same room as Val. A few days later we got her to remain in the same room, and a few days after that we got her to give Val a high five...and then a kiss on the head. And that is about as far as we have gotten. I tried to take a photo of the two of them (see right) and this was the best I could do after basically throwing Val down on the couch next to M and her realizing what was happening and trying to bolt (notice my husbands hands holding her down and the look of fear on her face). I am doing my best to include M in all I do for Val, but she has not shown any interest at all as of yet. I keep hearing it gets better - hopefully that will be sooner rather than later. 

- The second child is much easier than the first. When you have your second child in the hospital you are immediately in a different class than people who are there having their first. The nurses check in on you much less often, and basically give you your space as they feel like you have been to this rodeo before so you know what you are doing. For the most part that is true, but you really do forget a lot about living with a newborn. They like to be held, a lot - which I have no problem with of course, but trying to run after a 2.9 year old with newborn on your shoulder is not easy. They sleep a lot, and poop a lot, and like to eat a lot. All of this scared me the first time around, but this time around I feel like it is so much easier in general. I can change her diaper in 5 seconds flat. I find myself basically throwing Val around (not literally of course) where I was so freaking scared to move M when she was little. 

- The hard part isn't the baby, it is the toddler. I have found that since Val has been home M seems to be regressing a little bit. She is constantly asking to be picked up and given hugs and kisses (which I love, but most times it is when I have Val in tow, or we are out and about and I can't pick her up). She has been sick with a chest cold, so I know that has something to do with it, but she has been so much more whiny lately. When Val cries or whines M starts to whine or fake cry and she will say "Val is sad...M is sad too!" We had also began attempting to potty train her, but that has gone out the window and she wants nothing to do with the potty. Hopefully things will regulate soon, otherwise Mama is going to be turning to the bottle herself - the red wine bottle!

- Everyone assumes this is your first child. Whenever I have been out the last two weeks with just Val in tow every person that I talk to assumes (rightfully) that this is my first child. My favorite scenario was when I was at Isis, and a class was released as I was checking out, and a group of young moms with babies who were about 6 months old comes over to me and says "Oh she is so cute! How old!" and I said, "10 days," and they were all "I bet you are tired! Don't worry it gets better...I remember when my daughter was that age and...yada yada yada." I just smiled and acted naive - but I wanted to say "in about a year that sweet child you are holding won't be so sweet anymore!" 

So life is good - crazy and tiring - but good...actually great. I truly feel like our family is complete and love having baby Val in our lives. Stay tuned for many more posts about being a mother of two! 

When Good Woobies Go Bad

My daughter sleeps with many things in her bed at night. She has three woobies (or lovies) - Mr. Woobie, aka Mr. Woobs, who is her favorite and is basically king of the castle, Giraffe Woobie who is second in command, Monkey Woobie, Miles the Bunny and now a Llama Llama doll that my mother bought for her. There have been other things in the past year that she has rotated in, like a Dot the Ant doll I bought when I worked at Disney in college (from Bug's Life), a little soft green pillow, and as of late she has wanted to sleep with this little yellow Lego flower. What can I say, the kid is weird!

WHOOOOAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Every night before we leave her room we do "roll call" and make sure all of her "friends" are in her bed with her. She immediately grabs Mr. Woobs and gets him all settled in her arms before she falls asleep. Everyone else takes a back seat to Mr. Woobs...until two nights ago.

I was awakened to screams from the monitor around 2:30 AM on Wednesday morning and look at the screen to see M hurrying out of her bed (this has never happened before). She is unable to get out of her room, as there is one of those door knob blocker things on there, so she is pounding on the door as I run down the hall to her. I find her standing there sobbing and saying "I'm scared of Woobie! I'm scared of Woobie!" I scooped her up and brought her to my bed (hubby is away for work so it was just me) where she fell back to sleep about 30 minutes later after I calmed her down.

Fast forward to the following night, where at the exact same time the same thing happens - she screams, gets out of bed, I go to her room and she tells me "I'm scared of Woobie!" and ends up in my bed again. I begin to think this is a dramatic act on her part and a means to end up in Mommy's big comfy bed (a very rare occurrence) but I let it slide and she and I sleep for a couple more hours - along with our big dog who has recently had mental problems and now can't be left alone (more on that in another post).

So last night I promised her we could lay in Mommy's bed before she went to sleep and watch a movie. I ask her if she wants me to bring any of her "friends" and she says ok, so I went to her room and grabbed Mr. Woobs. Well, as soon as I brought him into the bed she threw him back at me and said "No thanks Woobie. Mom you take him." I was shocked, and put him on my nightstand. "Are you sure you don't want Mr. Woobs to watch the movie with us?" to which she replied "I said No Thanks Woobie."

After the movie (Rescuers 2 Down Under - what a terrible movie by the way!!) I bring her into her room and realize I left Mr. Woobs in my room. I tell her I am going to go get him and she says "No Mom. He stays in your room. No Thanks Mr. Woobs."

This child has slept with Mr. Woobs during every night and every nap, every airplane ride and long car ride for the last 2 years of her life! He is the first thing that she checks for when she goes to sleep! And now he is dead to her...WTF did Mr. Woobs do to M in her dreams?

I asked her last night if she remembers being scared by Mr. Woobs and she said "yeah, he was mean." Apparently he did something terrible to her in a dream that first night, and now they have broken up. Today at nap time she didn't even want her #2 Giraffe Woobie in bed with her either. What kind of crazy hi-jinx did her Woobies get up to her in her head? I have mental images of them being 10 feet tall, with crazy eyes and fangs trying to smother her...with scary circus music playing in the background.

But I guess we will never know...makes me sad to think Mr. Woobs and Giraffe Woobie will be absent from roll call. At least until they apologize to M for whatever they did to her in her dreams.

Toddler 411: Stop Putting Things Up Your Nose!

Mamas and Papas - I need your advice!

For the past few months M has been obsessed with her nose. There is constantly a finger up one nostril or the other and I am telling her 100 times a day to "get your finger out of your nose." But lately instead of a finger she has started sticking things up there.

The other day I caught her with the pointy end of a paintbrush up there. I have found her sticking crayons up her nose. And even more frequently I am doing goldfish-ectomies with the Nose Frida and pair of tweezers!

What is the deal with the nose obsession?

Does she get this from me? My father is obsessed with his nose, largely in part to his terrible sinuses...which as I have mentioned countless times on here I have inherited. We are always blowing or squeezing, or itching or spraying something something up our noses...and yes I am totally guilty of the pick now and again. Did she learn this by watching me (as the old 80s drug PSA used to say)?

At the first sign of snot I am on her like Donkey Kong with the Nose Frida, sucking out any snottiness, and now she expects the relief so she is always asking for "boogie sucks" when her nose starts to run. Have I created a nose-obsessed monster?

Or is this fairly normal? Do your children like to stick things in their noses?

And when she does this, what kind of reaction should I have? I freak out of course and yell at her because I am so scared that she will damage her sinuses or nasal passage and lose her sense of smell or something crazy like that. She doesn't seem to get the point though because she is still sticking things up there - case and point the piece of carrot I removed an hour ago.

I will never forget when I was young (probably 5) and I stuck a bead in my ear and we had to go to the hospital. I remember it like it was yesterday - those long skinny scissor like tweezers they used to remove the wooden sphere. I have visions of me at the hospital with M in the near future getting that same instrument put up her nose!

How do I make this stop? Do I not draw attention to it? Do I yell more (that seems to be my M.O.)?

Help a Mama out!

Houston, we have a hitter...again

I've mentioned quite a few times on the blog about how lucky we are when it comes to M and not really having "terrible twos"...yet. There have been the occasional fits and tantrums here and there, but nothing lasts more than a few seconds. She does like to whine a lot though, and has developed somewhat of a little diva attitude as of late. Here is how things usually go when M doesn't get her way now:

M: I wanna watch something on the big tv Mama (with big smile on her face)
Mama J: Maybe later, let's go outside and play.
M: I wanna watch something on the big tv! (getting louder and higher pitched)
Mama J: No, now it is time to play outside. We will watch later.
M: I wanna watch now! (body starts to stiffen, fists are clenched)
Mama J: Let's go outside and do something fun!
M: WHEEENNNNNHHHHHH@)($*@!#(#$*#()!!!! (the only way I can describe that blood curdling, ear-piercing most annoying sound on the planet that is my daughter's whining)
SMACK!

I would actually be ok with this behavior if it wasn't followed by her hitting me. I understand she is 2.5, and she doesn't understand why she can't always get her way, but I cannot handle her hitting me. She started doing this around the time she turned 2 last year, but it only lasted a few days and went away. Well, it is back with a vengeance.

She gets herself so worked up when she doesn't get her way that her arms immediately flail in my direction and most of the time make contact with my head. If I am not close she will hit whatever is closest to her, while continuing to make that horrendous high pitched whine noise.

And what is my reaction to all of this nonsense? You name it, I have tried it.

I have ignored it.
I have grabbed her arm.
I have told her No Hitting!
I have grabbed her arm and told her No Hitting!
I have walked away from her.
I have asked her father to deal with her.
I have growled at her. (I do this when the dog is driving me insane and it works, so I figured why not give it a try)
I have told her it is not nice to hit!
I have told her she is being mean to Mommy.
I have even called her names - she is scared of the Mother Goethel character in Tangled so I have even said "you are being mean, just like Mother Goethel! Don't be mean!"
I have even hit her back.

Yes, I am not proud of admitting I hit her back. It was just a light smack on her hand, but it did make her cry because it was so unexpected. I of course apologized right away and we hugged it out - not my best parenting moment so far.

But this behavior continues today, and I don't know what to do about it. I am scared that when she starts her summer school program next month that she is going to hit another kid in her class, or worse a teacher! I don't want my kid to be the hitter!

Does anyone have experience with this? And can you please tell me there is some magical spell I can cast while she is sleeping tonight that will immediately stop this behavior!!

Urban Oasis

     Seeing that today had a high of 81 degrees, I wanted to head out and cool down (and still be home for 2pm naptime)!  After putting way too much sunscreen on my three year old son (baby D), we headed to the North End to meet friends.
      Christopher Columbus Park has a clean, safe, sand filled playground.  Perfect for active, energetic toddlers.  There is also a few family restaurants nearby for frequent potty breaks.
       A short walk away is the beautiful Rose Kennedy Greenway.  A mile stretch of land ideal for picnics and playing catch.  Baby D's favorite part of the Greenway is its spray fountains.  Kids can wet their feet or go all out and run through the water.  My friend and I had our boys in their swimsuits but there were plenty of kids running in the water with their clothes on.  The Rose Kennedy Greenway is a refreshing urban oasis!  Be sure to pack sunscreen (of course I left mine on the kitchen counter), a towel and dry clothes.  Have fun!
        We were home by 2pm!  D is sound asleep and I'm catching up on laundry and The Real Housewives of OC.  I'd say today has been pretty good, so far!

The Adorable Quirks of Moodle McGee

In a week my little M (aka Moodle) will be 2 and a half years old. Every day with her is truly a gift as my husband and I have been blessed with a kooky, dramatic, loving, ridiculously smart kid. Every day she makes us laugh - I call my husband at work at least twice a day and tell him some crazy story about something she said or did. She is seriously awesome (99% of the time) and I figured I would share some of her adorable quirks with all of you, because some are just too funny not to share (and some lead me to believe she had a little touch of OCD...but anyhoo!)

1. Run Moodle Run! About a year ago I took her to see a pediatric orthopedist because she still wasn't walking on her own, and her feet were turned out. I was told "she will never be a runner with legs turned out like this, but she will eventually walk just fine." Well doc - you should see her now. I cannot stop her from running. If she could, she would run all day long. Her favorite thing to do is to run laps around the house, or even just back and forth in a room, for a long period of time and say "Look Mama! I'm runnin'!" To which of course we are all "run baby! Run!!" People who see it for the first time think it is hilarious, which it is, because she gets this intense look on her face, and she still doesn't know what the heck to do with her arms (much like Ricky Bobby when being interviewed.) Don't think we will ever be going back to that doctor again!

M with a giant lollipop -
which actually resembles
her body shape

2. How many licks? As of late she has been requesting lollipops all throughout the day. The funny thing about this is that I don't know how she actually learned about them (as I had never given her one). When she receives a lollipop she actually doesn't even put it in her mouth, she just likes to hold it. If I tell her to lick it she does and says "Mmmm...that's delish," but will refuse to lick it again! She will keep said lollipop in her hand for the rest of the day unless I tell her to put it in the trash.

3. The girl who coughed wolf. If you cough or sneeze around M, she will immediately fake or cough sneeze herself. And I mean if we are out and about and some old lady is coughing her brains out (as happened last week) M will immediately start imitating her and say something like "I'm coughing! I'm sick!" This also happens when someone sneezes, but at least she knows to say "bless you!" after she fake sneezes.

4. Stay in the car please. Lately she has developed this strange behavior every time we pull into the garage and I try to get her out of the car. "I wanna stay in the car please," she says and looks at me with this big grin on her face. To avoid a fight I let her stay in the car for a few minutes, and she sits there playing with her carseat buckles, and singing to herself. Today I left her in there for a good 5 minutes while I unloaded groceries and still when I went to get her out she said "Mama, I wanna stay in the car still." So I let her and when I peaked into the garage she was just sitting in there, looking out the window and singing. I guess she just needed some alone time.

5. Fall in line toys! M has developed a habit of lining up her toys, or stacking her toys perfectly on top of each other. She has a ton of little figurines and likes to line them up in a straight line at times. While I think this is funny (and a little OCD) the funniest thing I have seen her do lately is knock all her toys over from a standing position. I placed all her little figures standing up on her little table, and I came in to find her laying them all down. I started to stand them up and she said "No Mama! They are all sleeping!" So I let her continue to lay them all down.  The other day at Target she moved every can of silly string (probably about 80 of them) from the shelf they were on to the empty shelf that was above them. When she wasn't looking I grabbed a handful and tried to speed up the process, as when I tried to get her to move away from this project she told me "No Mama! Not done! Bye bye Mama!" I let her finish and she said "all better!" and we went about our business. This I am hoping remains a cute toddler quirk and does't manifest itself into some bigger OCD issue in the future - for now I think of it as just hilariously crazy!

What do your toddlers do that make you laugh? Any adorable quirky things you want to share?

First Big Girl Bed, Next Driver's License

Last summer I needed a project. I was failing at getting pregnant, and needed something to distract me, so I took on the decorative project of getting M's "big girl" room ready. My plan was to redecorate the biggest of our 3 spare bedrooms into a luxurious girly space that she would immediately fall in love with, and want to spend all her time in, especially the hours that she slept. I spent most of my free time for a few months deciding on a color scheme, the bed (headboard or full bed - twin or double?), the bedding, the furniture, the wall stencils, the lighting, the window treatments...blah blah...I was going balls to the wall with this project.

Most parents I know take the rails off the crib and convert it into a toddler bed. I had decided to put M in a bed/room fit for a princess. I had also decided to buy her a bed (a double) and a dresser that she would use for, what I hope will be, the next 10 years of her life. I bought her fabulous bedding at Bloomingdales (way on sale) that my mother took one look at and was like "you know you probably should have gotten something cheaper and kid friendly."

No way grandma! My daughter will appreciate this fabulous stuff - she will love the scrolly metal bed that I bought her, and the beautiful dresser, and the hours that I spent strategically painting the graphic flowers all over her wall. She will totally think I am the coolest for the art work that I created using the paper dolls from my childhood mounted on handmade paper!

She was only about a year and a half at the time that I began this endeavor, and almost 2 when I finished. During those six months she went into her new room a few times, mostly to admire all the big "flowders" on the walls...and never really paying attention to the beautiful bed in the center of the room. So for the first part of 2012 the room sat there decorated to the nines, with decorative pillows in place...with no child to enjoy it. That is until about a month ago...

My husband and I decided that we should take a crack at this whole big girl bed thing. We have a baby coming this summer, and it would be one less thing to deal with if we just went ahead and made "the switch." So we started moving some of her toys and books over to the big girl room, and then started playing in there during the day to get her interested. I would ask her "do you want to nap in your big girl bed?" and the answer was always "no thanks." But we continued to spend more time in there, and eventually I got her to climb up on the bed and lay with me...and after a while of doing that she actually asked to nap in there!

I had purchased a second camera for our Lorex monitor, so the first time she napped in there I stood outside her door watching her on the monitor. I only had to use the two way communication feature a few times to tell her to get back in bed, and go in there once to actually put her back in the bed, and then she slept for three hours! It was a festivus miracle.

Nights were a little different - we started her in the big girl bed a few nights, but I don't think we were committed to the whole process, as after about 30 minutes of putting her back in bed, we just put her in the crib for our own sanity's sake. Three nights later though we decided to go whole hog and tough it out. Lo and behold it after about 45 minutes she was sound asleep!! And slept through the night without making a peep. Another Festivus miracle!

So that was 5 nights ago...and we haven't looked back at the crib since. We are still trying to find our groove with the falling asleep portion of bed time. M is so excited to be in this new space, with all her stuff in new places, that she loves to crawl out of bed and grab a book and sit in the corner and "read" or "clean up the place" (as she says) by moving her legos from one bin to the next all by the light of her nightlight. Eventually she tires herself out and stays in bed, and so far (knock on everything) the nights have been drama free.

And my mother is right - she doesn't care about the fancy bed and bedding (of which the duvet cover is now crumpled at the bottom of her bed) of course. But it does warm my heart whenever she says "look Mama painted flowers on the wall! So pretty!" - at least I know that was worth it.

This is a love/hate situation for Mama though. I love more than anything those couple minutes every night that I lay with her in her bed, about 6 inches from her face, and stare into her eyes and sing her a song...I seriously tear up every time as I take in her beautiful little face that is growing up way too quickly for my taste. But I hate going into her "baby room" where her crib remains empty - it makes me sad that it is the end of an era for M. I feel like next week we will be taking her to get her driver's license!

Now if only I can get M onboard for her baby sister's arrival. She is actually acknowledging the fact that there is a baby in Mommy's belly, but not the fact that that baby will soon be on the outside of Mommy and getting a whole lot of attention.

The answer to "do you want Mommy to bring home a baby sister for you to help take care of?" is still "No, thank you." Hell, at least she is polite about it.

The Time Magazine Cover: Everyone else is talking about it so here we go!

Unless you have been living under a rock, you have by now caught a glimpse of the controversial cover of the latest Time Magazine (seen at right) where a woman is pictured breastfeeding her three year old. I figured everyone else is talking about it, so why don't I chime in and give my two cents (or $1.25.) Let me first start by saying that I have not read the article, as I don't subscribe to Time, I am simply commenting on the cover images, the idea of attachment parenting and my feelings when I saw this yesterday.

Let me give you a little background on my "parenting style" before I delve into my opinion on the cover and topic at hand...

As for breastfeeding...M was born 4 weeks early, and was just a tiny 5 pound little peanut. I had full intention of breastfeeding her for an unplanned amount of time, but had major difficulty due to her early birth, her size, the size of my gigantic melons, etc.. After four weeks of trying my hardest, and visiting with Lactation Consultants, I gave up and just exclusively pumped until she was 16 weeks of age. At that point I was exhausted and felt like a cow and just wanted my body back, so we went to formula after my massive frozen supply ran out. I felt like I had done my part as well as I could have, and didn't feel guilty for a second switching her to formula.

As for co-sleeping...there were times when M was first born that she slept between us, propped up on a Boppy (yes I know you aren't supposed to do that, but Mama needed her sleep), but other than that she has always slept on her own, whether it be in the carseat next to our bed for the first couple months (she had terrible reflux) or in her crib next-door to us at 12 weeks. To this day she does not crawl into bed with us in the middle of the night - she is happy where she is, and I am happy that she is happy, as the two times she did sleep with us (due to sickness) I didn't sleep a wink. Plus she tends to end up sideways and forcing us to the edge of the bed with her extra long legs. My husband and I like our bed to ourselves.

As for baby wearing...I was and am all for it. M spent a good deal of the first 6 months of her life attached to me in the Moby. I love having my hands free and she loved being all wrapped up in a baby cocoon against my skin. I did use the Ergo a few times after she outgrew the Moby, but was never a huge fan of it, so soon after I went to a stroller. I cannot imagine M, now 2.5 years old, being worn by either my husband or I though. She is probably about 40 inches tall and weighs 30 pounds and would rather walk on her own for sure.

Ok with that all said, let me get to the subject at hand - the Time cover and other images of women breastfeeding their older children. My first reaction - GASP! My second reaction - I am totally uncomfortable looking at these photos! My third reaction - I cannot look away!

Let me say this, breastfeeding is a beautiful, natural thing. I am totally comfortable with women breastfeeding in front of me. I have seen many a friends boobs go into their babies mouths, and I am fine with it. If I could have done it I would have, and plan to give it the old college try again with baby number two. But there comes a point in time where it gets a little uncomfortable for me personally (and I know people will have problems with this, but again, this is JUST ME)...when your child can walk and talk in full sentences, and has a full set of teeth, then it becomes (dare I say it) a little weird to me. The thought of breastfeeding M right now, who is very tall for her age, seriously gives me the heeby jeebies. And I don't know if that is because I never actually breastfed her to being with? Or the fact that she speaks in complete sentences and is the size of a 4 year old.

Isn't there a time in a child's life where it isn't nutritionally beneficial anymore? And I am asking that in all seriousness, because I do not know. When a child is 5 years old and still breastfeeding is it not just a comfort thing for both the mom and the child? And as I am writing this I think "even if that is the case, what is wrong with comforting your child like this?"

Why does the thought of this make me so uncomfortable? Why do I think it is weird when someone breastfeeds for an extended period time, when it is the way it has been for millions of years with mankind?

My other thought is that I look at my boobs as a sexual part of my body, and to have them exposed to a child that could possibly understand that makes me uncomfortable. How do you have a sexual relationship with your husband if you have your young kids pawing at your chest all day to have a snack? Doesn't that de-sexualize your breasts? Again, I am asking for some clarity on this all, as this is just the way I feel about it.

The co-sleeping, or family bed, thing I understand even less. I love my child more than I can explain, and love giving her hugs and kisses, and holding her in my arms, and sitting with her on the couch, or having her on my lap, but do I need to have her next to me at every waking (or sleeping) hour of the day? No I don't. And what does the co-sleeping thing do for your relationship with your husband or partner?? You have another human being in between you every time you go to sleep - how do you get it on? Or do you not? And what does that do to your relationship?

I am not saying this is all wrong, it is just not right for me, and I would love for someone to explain why it is right for them. I promise not to judge, as I am sure you feel it is as right for you as it isn't right for me.

My problem with these photos is that I feel like they are posed the way they are for shock value - and let me tell you I was a shocked. (Not as much as I was when Prince Robert Aryn (the boy prince from Game of Thrones - son of Lysa) was still at his mom's breast at the age of 9, and they clearly depicted that on the tv show!) I feel like these moms are just depicted as food sources, with the kid on the chair or the little girl staring at the camera. I feel like it should have shown a more nurturing side of the act of breastfeeding - but is there that side when the kid can tie his own shoe and whip out your boob on his own? I feel like the cover image should have a bubble above the kids head saying "yeah that's right, these are my boobs! You gotta problem?"

And I have an even bigger problem with the subject line "Are You Mom Enough?"WTF Time Mag? Am I not a good enough Mom, or "Mom Enough" because I don't still breastfeed my giant child and don't have her create a wedge in between my husband and I in bed? Are mother's that formula feed their babies not good enough moms? If I feel uncomfortable with this whole thing, does that make me a bad Mom?

A friend of mine recently wrote an eye opening article for Isis that you should all read on this subject. Nancy talks about how this type of parenting has been going on for millions of years, so why do we feel the need to dissect and discuss at length all of the sudden? Why do we feel the need to defend our styles of parenting to each other?

When I started writing this post I was totally in defense mode (and I know I seem somewhat defensive still - thanks TIME!) and Nancy made me realize that we all raise our kids as we see fit, whether it is sleeping with them until they are 5, or putting them in a crib at 3 months. It was like a slap in the face when she said "What if we talk more about helping parents to support one another through the challenges of raising children, and less about criticizing those who have different ideas about how to nurture their children? Why is our society so concerned and fascinated with parents who (in society’s opinion) “over” parent (the “helicopter” mom, “hockey-dads”, over-scheduled kids, extended-breastfeeding) , rather than focusing more on those who “under” parent?"


I am totally guilty for judging other parents for the way they nurture and raise their children, and I need to open my eyes and shut my mouth. 


So with that said, please discuss in the comment section...I look forward to hearing what you have to say about all of this!

I Love My Job (Every Day Is Mother's Day)

Most of my posts lately have been a little on the negative side lately, so here comes one full of positivity, love and shmoopy good stuff...


My husband and I are very affectionate people...one might even say we are shmoopy. No, we don't have our hands all over each other when we are out in public, but we do like to hold hands, smooch a little here and there, and we like to be near each other. We also tell each other I love you multiple times a day.

We have the same kind of affectionate relationship with our daughter too. There is lots of hugging, or "big huggies" as M likes to call them, and we love to give kisses. She also loves to hold our hands, be it while we are walking, or while I am driving and she is in her carseat - not the safest thing of course, but it is so cute I can't pass it up. Sometimes we force the love on her, but a lot of times she is giving out hugs and kisses freely - like today on our walk with the pooch.

We were in the park, she was walking next to me holding my hand and she just pulled my hand towards her mouth kissed it and said "Aw, I love you mama," and rubbed my hand on her cheek. My heart melted. I just looked at her little angel face and said "you are the best thing in the world," and she said "no, you are the best mama." I about passed out from love overload. Is this kid for real?

How lucky am I to have such an amazing little creature to call my daughter? How lucky am I to spend my days hanging out with this awesome kid, who (for the time being) thinks I am the best thing in the world? I am not stupid - I know that someday, probably not that far off, she is not going to want to give me huggies and kissies like she does now. I know she is not going to think I am the best, and she might even tell me she hates me in the near future, but for now I am taking it where I can get it and loving every minute of it.

When she turned 2 I feared that there would be a switch flipped and my sweet little girl would grow horns (as my mother always reminds me that I did when I was little) and be this little devil child. I am not saying it might not happen the future, but for now it has been smooth sailing through her third year of life. Of course I probably just jinxed myself, but seriously M is a great kid. And because she is a great kid, it makes my job as Mom all that more rewarding and wonderful.

I wouldn't trade being a stay at home mom for anything in the world. I feel like this is what I was meant to do. I have friends say "I don't know how you do it? I couldn't stay home with my kids..." and it amazes me that there are people that don't want to do what I do for a "living." I am not knocking working moms in anyway (I don't know how you ladies do it!) but I just cannot imagine leaving my kids in the morning and spending the day in an office. Of course I know there are women out there that have to do it for financial reasons, and I know a lot of those ladies that would love to stay home with their kids...and I totally know that some people aren't meant to stay at home with their kids. I am just not one of those people.

Thanks to such an amazingly supportive, hard-working, rock star of a husband, I am able to stay home and play Mom all day long with M. No I am not staying in my house all day long, eating brownies and watching television (well, maybe today we are :). My job requirements are to go to museums, go on "adventures", hang out with friends, go shopping, go to the park, play outside, do craft projects, etc....How could you not want to have this job?

And the benefits are amazing! I get to watch my daughter grow and learn new things every day. I get to watch her run around and explore, and see her eyes light up when she discovers new and exciting things. I also get a nice 2-3 hour long lunch break in the afternoon while she is napping to do my own thing. Yes, there are days when I am counting the seconds towards nap time, but those are few and far between. M is so easy going she makes my job all that more enjoying.

In three more months we will be adding another member to our family, and I am sure there will be a slight tremor in the force, if you will, but I am sure I will enjoy my job even more having another little angel to share the love with.

What is going to happen to my position when the kids are older and in school, and don't need me as much as they do now? Who knows. I don't have an office job to go back to, nor would I want to be back in that kind of environment. Only time will tell what is in store for Mama J, but for now I am reaping the benefits of being a Mom (I hate the term stay at home mom btw) and loving my kid, and wonderful husband, as much as I possibly can.

My family makes me feel like every day is Mother's Day, and for that I am incredibly lucky. To all the other mother's out there, may you have a wonderful Mother's day, but be treated like every day is your special day. And may you get lots of Huggies and Kissies from your kids, as well as your husbands!

Love, Mama J

My Daughter is a Girl!!

I don't know why this bothers the crap out of me, but lately I feel like people out and about are mistaking M for a boy. I get so angry when this happens, because to me, she looks 100% girl. I don't always dress her in pink dresses or put bows in her hair, but I feel like she always looks like a female. Somehow, a lot of other people in this world do not agree.

I am woman, here my Mama roar!

When we were at the Children's Museum last week she was mistaken for a boy twice. She was wearing blue jeans with a striped hoodie sweater that was red, purple, white and blue...with pink sneakers. She was wearing a bright yellow swing coat on top of all this the first time someone called her a "he." I can see how the sweater might go either boy or girl, but I seriously it is pretty girly in real life - especially with the purple in it. Then someone actually called her my "son" when we were up playing with the trucks on the third floor. Something like "looks like her son isn't done playing there so you have to wait your turn..." and of course I was all "my DAUGHTER will be done in a second."

And then yesterday we were at Whole Foods when it happened twice again. The guy giving us our American Cheese at the deli counter asked if "my son" would like to try a slice. My son? Would I dress my son in hot pink sweatpants, a blue t-shirt with a glitter bow on the neckline, a white hoodie with Minnie Mouse on the front and back (including red sparkles) and pink shoes???? Ok - so this guy had some seriously thick glasses, so I can give him a pass, but again I said "my DAUGHTER would love some cheese." The second person was a young girl, who was basically one foot away from M and said "Oh my God, he is so cute!" and I about lost it. I said "SHE is a girl." And the girl of course said she was sorry, but I wanted to punch her in the face.

As a mother, if I saw a child and didn't know for sure whether he or she was a he or she, I would avoid embarrassment at all cost and not even use a gender specific pronoun. But I feel like once the kid gets to 2, it is pretty obvious which sex they are. Of course when they are babies, it is totally acceptable to mistake gender...when it gets to around 2 and you mistake gender, either you are dressing your kid like the opposite gender, or the person who makes the mistake is just an idiot.

Does this happen to anyone else? Does M look like a boy and I just don't see it? Why does this offend me so much when it happens? It offends me even more when it is a mother with kids M's age, or a mother of daughters...those are the ladies that I want to punch in the throat when they call M a boy. If it is an old man, they get a pass, and especially one with thick glasses, which were covering up some googly eyes, like the first guy at Whole Foods.

That is all I have to say about that.

The Magical Disney Balloon

All things Disney have always been a big part of my life. Ever since I was 3 years old I have been going to Disney World at least twice a year, and when we moved to Florida, when I was 13, I went 4-5 times a year. Then I worked there for a semester in college - making minimum wage and working until 3 AM, but having the best time of my life. I have seen every single animated movie they have made multiple times (even the  Mulans, Pochahantas and Hunchback-type films). I have been to Disney Land as well as Tokyo Disney. I have Mickey heads on my Christmas tree right now.

Now, I am not the type of person that collects memorabilia or anything, I just love Disney. Disney World is a magical place, that holds a special place in my heart. I have always thought about brining my children with me for their first time and looked so forward to seeing their little faces light up when they got off the Monorail and walked down that ramp to the entrance.

When my parents offered up the opportunity to meet them in Orlando last month, while my dad was in a golf tournament just outside the Disney property, I felt like I couldn't pass up the chance. With everything else that was going on in my life, I needed a "Disney fix" as my mom and I call it. I was a bit hesitant at first because my husband was not able to come down with us, and I really wanted him to be there the first time M got to go. He told me "I want to be there the first time she goes and will actually remember it. I am totally fine with you going without me."

a not-too-happy M

And he made a good point. At the time we went, M was 23 months old. I knew she would not remember her first trip to Disney. I do not remember mine at 3 years old. Come to think of it, I don't remember much before 4 years old. Even trips to Disney when I was older I don't have memories of - just flashes because of the photos I have seen so many times. But I really wanted to go, and just because she won't remember it, doesn't mean I didn't want her to go, so we met my parents down in Orlando for 3 days.

(I have to say this: I realize that I am extremely lucky when it comes to going to Disney World. I know that families plan for months or even years in advance, and save up money, and take off work, and it is this huge ordeal that they strategically plan out, etc.. But here I am booking plane tickets a week before, and getting in to parks for free (my mother's best friend has worked there for almost 20 years), so it is something that I can easily do on a whim. Also, I am not the planner type - I like to just go with the flow and do what we want, whenever - this was one of those trips. I know this is a rare case.)

Travelling with Toddler

Yesterday M and I completed our 16th flight together in the last 23 months. It was pretty much as smooth as could be, and I wanted to share with you some of my tips for travel so that your next flight experience with your toddler can be just as easy!

Well, I think "easy" is the wrong word choice there, because when you are traveling by yourself with your child it is never easy. Let's use the word "manageable."

Here are my tips for a manageable travel experience with your toddler:

1. Try to book a flight during nap/sleep times. This doesn't always work, but if you can get your kid to sleep on the plane you will be one lucky mama (or dada).

2. Fly JetBlue.

• They have more legroom than any other airline. This is huge when you are using a car seat, and your toddler has crazy long legs. This is also great because you can let your kid stand up and move around a bit in front of your seat. 
• If you can afford the Extra Legroom, jump on it! Not only do you get to board first (there is no pre-boarding on JetBlue, so if you don't have extra legroom you board when your row is called), but now you actually get to go through security in a separate line! It is amazing - and such a pleasant surprise when I got to bypass the huge security line at Logan. 
• They have TVs. M wasn't truly taking advantage of them, but if you have slightly older kids that can use headphones (and will keep them on) this is huge, especially when you can't use electronics for take off and landing (more on this in a sec)
• They have more room in the overhead cabin. This may not be true, but with my experience on Delta last month, this is totally true. The overhead cabin on our Delta flight was miniscule (as was the legroom - not good for 7 foot tall dad!). I am sure this depends on the type of plane, but all Jetblue planes I have been on have tons of overhead space. 
• They give you snacks, which a lot of airlines don't do anymore. And they have animal crackers, which are M's favorites. 
• You can check one bag per person for free, and you can check strollers and car seats without them counting as an actual checked bag. 

A little girl brings a lot of joy

Last week my grandfather (father's father) passed away, after a very long and happy life (at least I assume it was happy - although he didn't smile very much now that I think about it...anyhoo) My father immediately booked hubby, M and I on a flight from Boston out to Ohio to be with family for the weekend. We were more than happy to go, as my grandmother, Nana, had yet to actually meet M, and we knew this would bring her a lot of joy during this sad time.

Cut to the night before and M is terribly sick with a head cold, and I am following her around the house with the Nose Frida, sucking out some awesome green boogies. My motherly instinct kicked in immediately and I knew the last place she should be is on a plane right now (well maybe the last place would have been naked outside in the cold, being splashed by a bucket of water, I digress.)

I called my parents, who were already with Nana and told them the situation and my mother said, "you are her mother, so it is your decision...but here talk to Nana." Oh great! Nana then went on to tell me that when she found out M was coming to see her she was happier than she had been in a long time, and couldn't wait to meet her, but understood if we couldn't make it, but would really love to see her in person. Ok, I got the point. We had to go.

Do you like my ensemble?

Not that we didn't want to go, as I love being with my family, and don't get to see them often enough at all, but I knew I wasn't doing the right thing by bringing my very sick child on a plane, out of our comfort zone, around old people, in a hotel, yada yada yada.

So we did what we had to do, and packed our carry ons full of Boogie wipes, nose spray, benedryl, juice, and of course the Frida. I don't think the people behind us knew what was going on as I constantly leaned over and stuck the Frida tube up M's nose to try to get her more comfortable.

Long story short, she was fine (not great) on the plane, and we arrived in Ohio.

Like with all strangers, it took M a little bit to warm up to Nana, but before long she was holding on to her hand and walking around her apartment. What should have been a somber weekend actually turned out to be an enjoyable family reunion of sorts. M brought so much joy to Nana, during such a sad time in her life, the entire trip was worth just that. She even brought joy to everyone that lives with Nana at the old folks home.

M, the girl who hates barettes, headbands and hats - all cranial accessories for that matter - actually kept on this little straw hat, that Nana had on a doll, and wore it to our 4:30 dinner in the dining room. She was a huge hit with all of the residents. Her ensemble was complete with a matching straw purse, which Nana gave to her and she now totes around the house with her from room to room.

Like daughter like mother - this girl loves her accessories now!

Even though it was probably the worst thing for M's health to travel, I am so happy that we were able to bring some joy to people during an otherwise sad time. And that is just one of the million things kids are good for!

Spoiler Alert

No I don't have any inside info about how this season of Gossip Girl will end (does anyone but me still watch that wretched show?)...but I am here to admit out loud that I spoil my kid like crazy.

Wanna come inside my playhouse?
Too bad..

Before I had kids I totally judged my friends for buying their kids a lot of toys, and clothing, and fancy gear. I would sit in these playrooms that were filled wall-to-wall with toys galore and think, "my kid will never have this many toys! Why would they need so much?!" But here I am, with a very active 22 month old, and a playroom overflowing with toys, gadgets, playhouse, tent, chalkboard, trains, bins, books, playdough and instruments galore.

99% of this was not bought for a birthday, or Christmas, just simply crap that I have purchased, on a weekly (if not daily) basis for my spoiled little monkey. And you know what? She would be totally happy with 1/100th of the things she has. Hell, she would be happy playing with pots and pans, but I am home with her every day, and if she is playing with it, I have to play with it, and I get bored very easily.

And then there are the grandparents, who like to spoil M like she is the Queen of Sheeba. Every time my mom visits she has new clothes, new toys, old toys of mine, and all sorts of crazy crap for M to enjoy. Case and point: we went to a baptism party on Sunday, for one of my best friend's daughter, and at this party M got to spend time in a playhouse that belonged to my friend's son. She spent probably about 5 minutes in the actual house (and totally became possessive of it and wouldn't even let the kid whose house it was in it without throwing a fit), but because she was smiling and enjoying herself we are now the proud owners of an even bigger playhouse, thanks to Grandma. And M could not be happier. I think if I would let her, she would sleep in this house, which now resides in our ever-so-crowded playroom.

It has gotten to the point where almost every day I feel like I buy something for M. Anything from clothes online to straws she points out at the supermarket. I know she is only 22 months old, but am I already setting a terrible example? I don't even think twice before buying her an Elmo book she sees out of the corner of her eye, what happens when she is older and wants something like a new iPhone (and at this rate that will be when she is 4 :)?

Growing up I was very fortunate to be spoiled by my parents. My father was gone for a lot of my childhood, due to work, so he loved to spoil my brother and I...in the form of cars. My mother would take me shopping and have a personal shopper pick out clothes for me at Bloomingdales. But despite all of these material things we turned out to be pretty awesome, down to earth people, thanks to strict discipline from our parents in addition to the spoiling. While it was an extreme case (not many kids get to go to the Lexus dealership and pick out their new SUV when they are 18 years old, but still have to be home by 10 PM at night) it totally worked in the end.

Like I said above, a lot of times I buy things for her because I need something new to play with. There are only so many times that I can play with her Playmobile Ark, make a flower out of Playdoh or draw a rainbow on the chalkboard. Right now our playroom could entertain a daycare of 10 kids on a daily basis. I will be the first to admit that I have totally gone overboard.

My mom asked me what I am going to get her for Christmas this year and it made me realize that as she gets older I need to save some of these indulgences for that special time of year, not buy something whenever I get the impulse to spend money. Every day is Christmas for M!

Have I created a monster (in myself)? Does she realize that she gets whatever she wants? Is this normal? Why does this child have me wrapped around her finger? What the hell do I get the kid, who is only 22 months old,  that has everything for Christmas?

Too Cool for School

Last night I went out for dinner with some of my girlfriends from Isis. All of our kids are around the same age, give or take a couple weeks, and we have known each other since they were 6 weeks old. Now they are 21 months, and some have actually started going to "school" this fall. I say "school" because it isn't really school that they are going to but a program of sorts that is much like a daycare. Yes it is called school, but come on, these kids aren't even potty trained yet, so it is really a glorified daycare. Not knocking the idea of this, but just the fact it is called school...but back to my point!

I overheard part of the table talking about their plans for the fall of 2012, and changing of schools, and putting in applications. And then one friend turned to me and asked "what are your plans for M for next fall? What schools are you applying to?"

And I responded "she is going to the school of Mama J."

In all seriousness, I haven't given it a seconds thought! She is only 21 months old now...still a baby in my eyes. While there are some days that I would love to have a little bit of free time, I don't think I am actually emotionally ready to drop her off three days a week and leave her with a group of strange people!

I am totally blessed with a very cool, easy-going kid (90% of the time) and I actually love spending my days with her. I can pretty much get done everything I want to do (save getting my haircut, which I do on nights or weekends) when she is awake, and when she is asleep I get stuff done around the house, catch up on TV shows, etc. I am not saying my girlfriends don't have easy kids, because they do, I just don't feel like I NEED to have her in school at this point in her life...but come next year, my tune might be changing.

All of my girlfriends that have their kids in school either just had their second child, or will be having their second in the next month or two. So for them it is a different situation. Having their kid in a program of sorts makes sense for their sanity, and gives their kids a little independent time away from brother or sister. Hopefully by next fall our family will have increased in numbers by 1, and I will be ready to send M out on her own for a few hours, a few days a week.

But, how do you even decide where you are going to send your kid to school in the first place? I did a Google search today and came across 100 pre-schools w/in 5 miles of my house! How do you know which ones are good? And at which ones someone will beat your child with a ruler? I don't even know how to begin this process, and would love some direction/advice from my readers and Mamas.

What is the normal amount of money to pay for pre-school?
Did you all start your kids in school at 2.9 years old? Or did you wait?
How many days a week do you send them at first?

Help me Mamas!