As we approach M's third birthday in December, I look back on this past year and can't help but say we have gotten off pretty easy as far as the "terrible twos" are concerned. Sure there was a fit here and there, and lots of drama (she likes to look at her reflection in any surface and pretend she is crying - I mean even door knobs for crying out loud), but over all we have been blessed with a pretty mild mannered, polite, cool kid. I have heard from other parents that it isn't actually two that is terrible, but the age of three when the horns come out. Slowly but surely I am starting to see a sublet change in M's behavior here and there that makes me think her next year of life is going to be a adventurous one.
Lately I feel like every day is opposite day in her little head....
Last night she was constantly banging her fork on the glass table during dinner so I say, "don't bang your fork on the table sweetie, you are hurting the table and that isn't nice."
In her head I imagine she heard "Bang that fork on the table - and bang it as loudly as you possibly can! Momma would love it if you put scratches in the table!"
Of course the behavior continued after I told her again to stop, in my serious parent voice this time.
And in her head this time she heard, "oh you want me to throw the fork at you? That sounds like fun! Let me bang it two more times before I chuck this silver fork at your face!"
And said fork came flying in my direction, which of course outraged my husband and turned him into mad daddy, which scares the junk out of M. This seems to be the only way to stop M from doing what we ask her repeatedly to stop doing though.
Don't hit mommy!
What, you want me to hit you? Harder this time? Maybe some scratching too?
Pick up your paper dolls before you get out the letters.
Oh you want me to make an even bigger mess? I will just pour these letters all over the ground and then walk through my paper dolls to make them go all over the place.
Let's go into your room to get ready for bed...
Oh so it is ok that I run down the hallway to your room and jump on your bed? Sweet!
No you cannot go outside, it is cold and dark out.
What was that? (As she backs out the sliding door in slow motion, while grinning at me from ear to ear) It is ok to go outside? Without shoes on? In my pajamas?
Don't run with food in your mouth. Chew, swallow and then you can run...
Oh so I should shove more food in my mouth and take off running at full speed without chewing? Gotcha!!
And so goes every day here in Mama J's household. I should start trying a little bit of reverse psychology on this kid!! I can't imagine what she is going to be like when she is a teenager. That is when we send her to live with her grandparents.