A Travel Nightmare (and some travel advice)

I am a firm believer that when you put something out in the universe, it will come back to bite you in the ass...hard. For instance, the second you tell someone your kid is sleeping through the night, your kid will start waking up at least once every night. As soon as you brag to your friends about how well behaved your child is, and how you never experienced the terrible twos, your kid will turn on you the second you walk through the door and throw the fit of the century when you try to get them into their pajamas...every night for a month straight.

In this case, my story has nothing to do with the behavior of my children, but something else I put out in the universe entirely. My younger brother is crazy smart - like computer genius type smart - but this kid is the most forgetful, absent minded person sometimes. I remember when we were little my mom used to have to pin notes for the teacher to his chest because he never remembered to give them to the teacher if my mother put them in his bag. She pinned an envelope to the poor kids chest!! Today he is 33 years old, and every time he travels back to the US (he now lives in Europe) something goes wrong with his travel situation...he misses a flight, he thinks he is on a different flight and goes to the wrong terminal, and once he even went to the wrong airport (La Guardia when he was supposed to be at JFK). I didn't know how this type of thing happened to a grown adult so often. I actually told one of my friends last month about my brother and his luck with travel, and said something along the lines of "I have taken hundreds of flights in my life and not once have I ever missed a flight."

And the universe heard me...and came prepared to bite me.

Last Saturday the girls and I were booked on a 6 AM flight out of Boston to West Palm Beach. We were traveling down to see my parents, as Hubs is crazy busy at work lately and we needed some love from the grandparents. That morning we awoke at 4 AM, and we pulled out of the garage (Hubs drove us) at 4:30, as scheduled. We arrived at the airport as planned at 5 AM - plenty of time to get on a 6 AM flight right? Here is where I miscalculated - I didn't account for the time that it would take us to park the car, take the car seats out of the car and put them in their carrying cases, and get us plus the luggage (with Hubs helping) down to the baggage drop off area. It was 20 minutes that I didn't think about.

We got in line to drop off our bags at 5:20 on the nose - the line was long, but consistently moving. I figured it would take us 10 minutes to get up to the front, and then we had Even More Speed so we got to skip the security line. We would be fine. When I think about it now, I want to go back and slap myself in the face. Was my brain not working? How would we be fine??

We got to the front of the line and were told that we missed our flight. There was no way that our luggage would make it to the plane in time and we had to get on another flight. The a-hole that told me this then asked me why I didn't come forward when they called out the passengers on our flight from the long line. I told him that we never heard him and would of course have come forward!

Cue the waterworks. I was sleep deprived, I was already nervous about flying by myself  with the girls, and then this crap happens. It is totally my fault. I am not one to get to an airport late, or with just enough time to walk on the plane. I like to get there early. I thought an hour before my flight would be fine - but now that I think about it, and it would have been if it was just me flying and I didn't have any luggage to check! I have no idea what I was thinking...

we were lucky to not have anyone sitting in
the seat next to us so Val got her own seat for
a bit and mommy got to stretch her arms!
Notice the Ziploc bag!

So some nice lady booked us on another flight, but we had to go to Fort Lauderdale, which is about 45 minutes south of West Palm. Whatever - we would be getting in about 2 hours later than scheduled, that is fine. The woman was nice enough to give Hubs a gate pass so that he could help us to the gate. I stopped crying and pulled myself together...

And then we were told that the flight to Fort Lauderdale was having maintenance issues (the bathrooms were broken) and that we were delayed 30 minutes...which turned into an hour. And THEN we were told that the plane was unfixable and we would have to wait another hour for different plane, coming from Orlando, which would then take us to Fort Lauderdale. Jebus!

In the end, they fixed the bathrooms on the original flight, and we left about 2 hours later than scheduled, which was 4.5 hours later than our 6 AM flight. It was a nightmare of a situation, and could have been avoided if I had actually used my brain and gotten up 30 minutes earlier.

For all of the chaos the girls were incredibly well behaved. There is nothing like being stressed about traveling with your kids alone and having multiple strangers come up to you and compliment you on how well behaved your children are. Sure there was some whining here and there (they had been up since 4 AM!) but I was shocked at how well they took all the delays - more time to run around the terminal giggling..and of course to watch their iPads!

Speaking of which, I know I have given advice about traveling with kids before, but here are some pointers I wanted to share again:

- Ziploc bag everything. I had the following in individual ziploc bags: diapers and wipes, toys and books, snacks, 2 Camelback water containers, 2 changes of clothes. This way it is so easy to keep everything nice and organized and makes going through security so much easier!

- Use your baby carrier. I had Val in the Ergo and since we were flying so early and I knew M would be cranky I brought the umbrella stroller. If M wasn't riding I put our carryon in the stroller and pushed it around. Val won't sit still in a stroller, so I kept her in the Ergo when we were on the move so I had my hands free

- Bring at least one change of clothes for each kid. We always have spills on the plane - most of the time they are my fault - but someone always ends up with wet pants or a dirty shirt.

- People are usually very nice to you when you are traveling with young kids - especially when they are well behaved. Take advantage of those nice grandparents sitting behind you and let them play peekaboo with your kid for a few minutes. Say yes to the flight attendant when she asks to hold your child so that you can pee on your own. Let that security guard help you fold your stroller. You don't have to do everything yourself (although I like to try)!

- Make sure your kids pee right before you board the plane. Even if they say they don't have to go, make them "squeeze out the pee pee" as we say. If they don't they will for sure have to go when they aren't able to go (during ascending and descending).

- Bring lollipops. We are at the age where M is starting to feel the pressure in her ears during take off and landing now. Lollipops seem to help with the pressure, and are a good distraction.

- Let your kids use electronics. I am a firm believer in my kids using iPads. Ok, that doesn't even make sense - ha. What I mean is, if it keeps them quiet, and takes some stress off you, let them look at the iPad on a plane! Sure I bring other things, like crayons and paper, and books, but most of the flight both my kids had an iPad in front of them, and they were content and quiet. I am sure some people were judging me (as they do when I have the iPad out at restaurants) but I don't care! Judge away, and enjoy the quiet flight!

Despite the chaos of the morning, we got to Florida, had an amazing time with my parents in the warm 80 degree sun. And I got to the airport an hour and a half early for our return flight!

Climbing the Peak of Life

This past weekend I gathered my college roommates at my parents summer home for a "girls weekend." Funny that we call it "girls" weekend because we are all in our mid-30s, have kids, and pretty tame - it should be called "Golden Girls Weekend." We spent most of the almost 48 hours we were together talking...and talking...and talking...and it was wonderful. We reminisced about college, and old boyfriends, we talked about motherhood and our crazy kids...and we stuffed our faces and drank good wine. It really was a great weekend.

We talked the most about being in our early 20s, as that was before we all had kids, husbands or really an responsibilities besides rent for our cheap apartments that really should have all been condemned. During one

Despite the weather we went for a walk

of the conversations one friend said, "oh to be 25 again!"

I thought about it for a second and said, "I would love to look the way I did at 25, but I would never want to be 25 again. I love being 35."

"Really?" she said, "wouldn't you want to go back to being 25, with hardly a care in the world? And know what you do now?"

"Not really. I love my life now and really wouldn't want it any other way."

My friend seemed pretty shocked that I felt this way. I went on to explain to her that I actually think my life gets better and better every year I get older. Sure, I had a wonderful time in college, and my 20s were a ton of fun, but I don't want to be that young, naive 20-something every again. I seriously love my life right now, and feel like the best is yet to come.

Another friend and I always talk about how her husband "peaked" in high school, and that he feels it has been all downhill from there. Not to say that his life is in a downward spiral or anything, as I know they have a very happy marriage, and incredibly awesome kids, but just that his glory days were 20 years ago, when he was big man on campus. His wife, my friend, feels the way that I do - that each day of her life is better than the next and that she is still on that upward climb to her life "peak." We joke that her upward moving life intersected with her husbands downward moving life (like on a chart) at the perfect time in both of their lives - hence their happy life together.

I can't help but feel a little sorry for those people that want to relive their younger days because their current days aren't bringing them the joy that they felt back in the day. I will be honest and say I don't feel that same joy, because it is a different joy all together. Back then I was having fun whenever I could - going out after work, going on adventures in the city every weekend day, working out all the time, taking impromptu trips to New York City, etc. - and those times were amazing and memorable. I was truly happy in college and in my 20s, but I am even happier now than I was then.

My husband and children complete me. I love the life that we have all built together. I wouldn't change it for anything. My friends from those days are still my friends today. We are all in different places in our lives - obviously not living together in the same mouse-infested apartment anymore, or even seeing each other as much as we would like to - but when we come back together it is just like it used to be. Ok, so we aren't downing the mixed drinks, daring each other to do things, dancing on tables or being carried home like we have on past girl's weekends...we are now enjoying what I like to call Golden Girls weekend, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Sure there are ups and downs in my life (I keep picturing the roller coaster metaphor from Parenthood movie) but I don't feel like I have actually "peaked" in life - and I think that is great! I wish all people could feel that way - to look at the positive in their lives, and not dwell on the good times that have past - to make more good times in their current lives by being proactive and positive. Does that make sense? If so - do it!

When you vacation with my parents...

Let me start off this post by saying that my parents are amazing. They are incredibly generous and kind, and still spoil my 30-something brother and I rotten. Because of them we have been able to do many amazing things in our lives, and for that we will be forever grateful. A prime example (one of hundreds) of their generosity was when they rented two houses in the Bahamas for the week after our wedding, and opened one up to my husband and I and about 10 of our closest friends...and stocked the fridge.

My parents like to go on vacation, and they like to go first class all the way, so if you are ever invited on a family vacation of ours, do not say no, my friends, as it is not a vacation to be missed.
At the present moment I am with my parents at their summer house up here in Rhode Island, where we will spend many of our weekends to come. Usually our days are spent by the pool, out on the boat, eating outside or golfing - all outdoor activities you will notice. Well, for the past 5 days here in New England it has been unseasonably cold - with a side of rain and ridiculous winds. Not exactly a recipe for enjoying outdoor activities! Needless to say there has been a lot of down time spent indoors, which has led me to observe my parents behavoirs on a different level - we are like monkeys trapped in a cage, friends, so why not blog about it?

When you vacation with my parents...
- you will do a lot of eating, and their pantry is stocked, so there is a lot of food to be eaten. Not eating something? My mom will dice or slice something, put it on a plate with a little balsamic vinegar and place it in front of you...no pressure...but you better eat it
- you will talk about food...while you are eating food. Eating breakfast? Let's talk about what our lunch plans are
- your clothes will remain dirty for two hours, max. And when they are clean and folded, you better put them back in your room...or else
- the kids' messes are cleaned up within minutes of them being made. This will include figurines to be set up in their rightful position each time, and princesses lined up or posed.
- do not leave your glass unattended for more than five minutes. It will be dumped, washed and put away.
- your kids will be asked multiple times a day if they want to put socks on...or a sweater, as they are always concerned about cold feet and arms
- you will be offered their clothing, no matter what you brought with you. Have something nice to wear out to dinner? Don't worry, my mom will offer you up another option from her closet. Already dressed for golf? My dad will offer you up to five different jacket/vest type options, as well as under-layers...this man does not like to be cold and doesn't want you to be cold either
- you will be asked what the "plan" is multiple times a day. My dad loves to have a plan.
- the kitchen will be spotless at all times. My dad loves a clean kitchen. Don't try and takeover the after dinner clean up. He might throw a sponge at you...clean-up is his "job."
- you will be early to everything because my mother swears it takes twice as long to get everywhere than it actually does. The grocery store? That is definitely 30 minutes away (nope, only 15.) Her nail place? At least 30 minutes away (nope, right next to the grocery store.)

Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about spending time with my parents. Sure, like all kids and their parents, there is a point where you need your personal space. In our case that is when we go on golf cart "adventures" to find bunnies in the woods, or look for deer. And if you are on our family vacation, and your child is 3.5, my dad will let them drive a golf cart.

I need a vacation from my vacation

Lately it seems that a lot of us Mamas have been traveling (or preparing to travel) in some form or another with our babes in tow. Jules just took a long car trip by herself with her three little ones - to which I say "Jules you are one bad ass Mama Jama for doing that alone! More power to you sista friend!" Jessie is about to embark on an out of country adventure with hubs and her kids, as well as her parents for some added help - to which I say "that is the way to travel my lady!"

Last night I returned from a 9 day "vacation" (and I use that term VERY loosely) at my parents house in Florida. Is going to your parents' ever really a vacation though? Especially when you are without your husband? And with two kids? Yeah, not so much.

this photo cracks me up every time

My husband had to go away for work for 6 days, and instead of sticking around Boston and dealing with the kiddies myself (the thought of doing bed time by myself 6 nights in a row scared the crap out of me) I figured it was an ideal time to take our annual spring break down to the sunshine state. My mom so graciously offered to fly up to Boston two days before our departure and fly back down with the kids so I had the much needed help of another adult. Now, I probably could have done the flight with the two kids by myself - if I had drugged them both, put M back in a diaper and taken a 10 PM flight. That wasn't happening so I was so grateful for my mom's help. She is what I would call "the entertainer," and I am the "care taker" so we work well as a team.

I had been sick for a few days but was finally starting to feel better, and thought maybe, just maybe we would have an illness-free trip. Alas, the universe bites me in the ass and laughs in my face, and gives my dear sweet M the pukey pukes the night before our departure. Luckily she was able to hold things down the morning of our flight, so we headed off to the airport...where our flight was delayed by 3 hours.

M somehow developed a chest cold on the flight and started coughing uncontrollably the first few days - so much so she was throwing up again. Val's teething was kicked into high gear and she was gnawing on everything in site, drooling like a faucet, and very irritable. And then my cold that went away came back (oh and I got my period for the first time in a year and a half - TMI I know but just added to my issues). Oh and to cap the weekend off Marlo developed a double ear infection and we once again visited the walk-in clinic down the road (which we have gone to the last three times we have visited my parents).

The weather was lovely, but not swimming weather, so we only got in the pool twice in the 9 days we were there.

When I think of vacation, I think of a departure from your every day life. Sure it was 70 degrees outside, but I was basically doing what I do every day, just with my legs hanging out. I was making sure everyone was fed, giving baths, sucking snot out of noses, changing diapers, changing clothes 10 times a day, doing laundry, getting up multiple times a night, etc.. It was, of course, helpful to have my mother around as it is a second set of hands all day, but the girls never napped at the same time, so there was always someone to be entertained.

And then you factor in the Paleo diet. I had to go to Whole Foods (twice) to stock up on cooking ingredients and groceries for myself for the week. That also meant I was cooking every meal while I was there. We did go out 3 times, which was a welcomed change, but for the most part I was slicing and dicing and sautéing and broiling my way through the week. Just like I do at home.

Thankfully my husband came down to Florida after his trip and was able to fly back with us, because our flight home was anything but relaxing. Val was screaming because she was tired and her gums hurt so badly. Marlo hadn't napped and apparently didn't realize that there were a hundred other people on the plane and she too was shrieking up a storm and giving me the "No! Mom, no!"

And today it was right back to my busy days of doctor's appointments, running errands, unpacking, doing laundry, making beds, putting screaming children down to for naps...

Oh how I long for a vacation...at a hotel...without kids...with my husband...and many cocktails.

What I Learned On Our Family Vacation

This past weekend we took our first trip as a family of four. We ventured down to Disney World (my home away from home), where we met my mother and stayed for 4 days and 3 nights. We had a wonderful time, but it was one of those "vacations" that felt like more work than actual vacation. I guess that is what happens when you have kids and vacations are all about keeping them entertained! As I got a taste for what our family trips will be like for the unforeseeable future I took many a mental note that I wanted to share with you all.

1. I will not be able to travel alone with my two girls for a long time. M and I took many flights/vacations together in her first 2.5 years of life. She is a great kid to travel with - very low maintenance, well behaved and up for an adventure. Plus you stick her in front of an iPad and she will entertain herself for hours, which makes flying very easy on the parents! Enter Val, who is a very easy going baby these days, but requires (of course) a second set of hands on her at all times, and about two extra carry-ons. Traveling with two kids in tow is NO JOKE. There is no way I could have done it without my husbands help. At least for the next couple years I will not be able to travel with the kids alone!

2. I have some pretty well-behaved kids. Everyone thinks their kids are well-behaved (well most people do) but my kids really are damn good kids. Maybe they get it from their easy-going father, or maybe because I don't put up with the BS, but whatever the case, they are great kids (yes I know Val is only 4 months old, but still she is awesome compared to other 4 month olds - haha). Compared to some of the kids we saw at Disney World, they are angels. I saw kids having fits like I have never seen before. I heard kids talking to their parents in a way that if I ever talked to my parents that way (even today) I would have gotten slapped. I had kids run into me (while carrying Val) and not say excuse me (we are already teaching M to say this at the young age of 3). There were kids climbing all over restaurants during dinner, while their parents sat there and let them run amok. There was some pretty terrible behavior, which made me proud to have a very well behaved 3 year old holding my hand.

3. A double stroller is a blessing and a curse. I went back and forth with the decision to bring or not to bring our big double stroller (the City Mini GT). We have used it about 3 times since purchasing it in August, and I wanted to get some use out of it, but it is big and cumbersome when folded. I ultimately decided to bring it, and I am so glad I did! It was great to have for naps. When we needed to get somewhere quickly we threw the kids in it and ran. If one of the kids weren't in it, we put our heavy bags in the empty side. The only issue we ran into was when traveling on the bus to and from the Magic Kingdom from the Yacht Club Resort. There is no place to put it, especially when the bus is full. PS. You will get dirty looks from everyone on the bus (or public transportation wherever you may be traveling) when they see you carrying that wide load so prepare yourself.

4. Bring at least four outfits for each kid for each day. I packed as if we weren't able to do laundry, because doing laundry at a hotel is a pain in the balls. My husband thought I was crazy for packing so much, but the girls wore all but two or three things that I packed. Val had multiple blow outs and would need at least one clothing change during the day. M spilled on herself many times and needed at least one change of clothing while we were at the parks. And then we would change for the night time too, and someone would get dirty and need to be changed again. Do yourself a favor and pack a few extra outfits in a ziploc and put it in the bottom of the stroller - no matter where you are!

5. Regular diapers are not a substitue for swim diapers. Yes, I know this is common sense. M is still in diapers (another post on our potty training woes to come) and Mama forget to pack her swim diapers so when she was begging to go swimming I decided to just put a clean diaper on her and let her go in the pool. Boy did we get a laugh when she came out of the water and her diaper was totally full and sagging down to her boney little knees. Baby had back! So yes, don't try to substitute regular diapers for swim diapers - your kid will look ridiculous as ours did!

6. DISNEY TIP: Get to the parks when they open, but don't head right for the popular ride: I always get to the parks right when they open but this trip I learned that we shouldn't head straight for the most popular ride right away. When we when to MGM (or Hollywood Studios as it is called now - it will always be MGM to me!) we followed the masses and went right to the Toy Story ride. We waited in line for about 30 minutes (the wait said 45 but it was shorter than that), and there was a huge line for Fast Passes right away. Well, when we got off the ride, there was hardly anyone in line for the ride!! If you avoid the initial rush to the popular ride and come back to it about 45 minutes after the park opens you might find a much shorter stand by line. That is my Disney tip of the day.

7. Extra Leg Room is worth the extra money. We fly Jet Blue 99% of the time we travel. Because my husband is almost 7 feet tall, we need to get the Extra Leg Room seats. To book these you pay an additional fee of $35-$45 (depending on time of year and destination) per seat, per leg of trip. Let me tell you, it is worth every penny because now when you buy Extra Leg Room, you get Extra Time! What is Extra Time? Well, you get to bypass the entire line at security and go to the front of the line. It is like a "Get Out Of Jail Free" card. With two kids, and many carry-ons, plus a double stroller, this is a freaking blessing. We had such an early flight (6 AM) from Boston that there really wasn't a line to bypass, but in Orlando the security line was freaking madness, and with our Extra Time we saved about an hour of waiting in line with hundreds of other folks. Do yourself a favor, especially if you are traveling during a busy time of year, and book the extra leg room to get the Extra Time!

8. Learn to nurse with a baby carrier. I didn't want to miss out on anything, and didn't want to lose any time with having to nurse Val. I figured out my own comfortable way to nurse her while she was in the Ergo, so I was able to walk around (with hooter hider on) and nurse her without missing any of the action. What I did was just put her on her side, and put one strap of the Ergo on (the one by her bum side) and then cradle her head in my arm. That way I had one arm free, was still covered and comfortable and could walk around while nursing her. It might not be the recommended way to nurse in a baby carrier, but it worked for us! Of course there was that one moment that the hooter hider blew off her, and I hadn't realized she had detached and my naked boob was out for all to see in Epcot. Whatever. :)

Back to Reality...and a kid that can walk!?

Where is my pool attendant asking if I want another mojito? Where is my maid to make my bed and clean up my room every day? There was no breakfast buffet with mimosas when I came down to the kitchen this morning...boo.

We are back from vacation. Back to reality. My husband is back to working 16 hour days. I am back to playing the role of Mama, Lady of the Manor, Keeper of the House. There is laundry that needs to be done, dishes that need cleaning, phone calls that need to be made, errands that need to be run, but I just feel like crawling up with a book, or going back to bed. Why am I so tired from a vacation that I spent mostly on my back (by the pool I mean :), reading. eating and drinking?

We had a wonderful time, but the 4 days and three nights we were in Puerto Rico felt like 24 hours. We spoiled ourselves rotten, as we knew it was not going to happen again for a long time, and loved every minute of it. It was the perfect amount of time though, as I was itching to get home to see M. And my heart just leapt as she and my parents were sitting on our front steps as the car pulled up to our house. She was squealing and kicking and flapping her arms with excitement...it was the cutest thing ever.

After hugs and kisses, and more hugs and kisses, I got to looking at her (as she was just in a diaper after getting herself al wet at her water table) and I was shocked to see that she had actually changed so much in 5 days!! She was definitely taller (this kid is growing like a weed on...something that makes it grow faster than normal!), and I felt like her face looked just slightly different too. And she looked at me and said "Hi Mama!" clear as a bell like she was 5 years old. I felt like I had been away for a month.

And an even bigger surprise was when I put her down to "waaak" around the house, she went off on her own!! Yes, she is 18 months, and we have been waiting with bated breath for her to take steps on her own...and she waited for us to come home from vacation to actually do it. It was the best welcome home gift ever. And it wasn't like she was just taking a few steps - it was like 20 at a time, all around the house. I felt such relief, as we have been to specialists about her delayed walking, and talked to our doctor about it many times. I was so worried something was seriously wrong with her, but everyone kept telling us "she is just being stubborn." And know I know they were right!

I think it will take a while for my brain to get out of vacation mode, but I don't have much time because on Friday we are off again. This time not to a luxury resort, but to my in-laws in upstate New York. There won't be a pool and cabana waiting for us, but there will be lots of loved ones, and plenty of delicious terrible-for-you treats.

Well, there is the dryer. Gotta go put another load in...mojitos...mojitos...mojitos...

Adults only Adventure Part Deux

I just finished a mediocre book so i figured i would take a moment to report from our adults only adventure.


If you a looking to go on a vacation to forget about your kid, don't go to the Ritz Carlton San Juan. Let me first say that we are having an amazing time. Everything here is first class: service, accommodations, food, and it all comes at a first class price tag (which is fine, it is only four days and it has been four years since our last vacation). We wanted to have a nice relaxing time away from M, which don't get me wrong, we are, BUT, there are kids and families galore here.

As I am typing this (from our rented private cabana by the pool-we seem to think we are Beyonce and Jay Z this weekend) there are five kids splashing around in the pool right in front of me, a family with a baby in a pack n play (which by the way they have readily available poolside if you need them) to my left and kids screaming throughout the pool area. Instead of trying to forget I am a parent for a few days, I am retrieving rogue balls for kids, getting splashed and having to swim around them in the pool. I am fine with it, because as a parent this sort of thing doesn't bother me as much as it used to, but we wanted to get away from kids for a few days...which we have failed to do.

I keep seeing these cute little kids and saying "oh honey look at that little girl. I bet she is M's age. I wonder what M is doing right now..." Or "do you think M is taller than that kid? Look how cute that one is!" and it is making me miss her more each day! Not that I wouldn't miss her if we were at a little more remote resort, but with the constant sound of children around it is hard to not think about her.

I cannot say enough good things about this resort though. The service is impeccable: everyone remembers your name (and pronounces it correctly which never happens stateside), they remember your drink orders ( I was greeted at breakfast with my tea and oj/pineapple juice), they check on you ton make sure you are ok...and as our pool attendant said this morning "Meez T ju jus asss and ju receive."

So basically I am saying we are having an awesome time, and spoiling ourselves rotten, but next time we come here we will totally bring M. And if the grandparents are lucky they can tag along too.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Poolside Cabana

Adults Only Adventure Part 1

I told myself I would be radio silent for the next four days on vacation, but I had share a few things:
1. This is apparently a working vacation for my husband. Unbeknownst to me my lawyer husband has his laptop with him and is now doing work sitting next to me. I asked what this was all about and he "doesn't want to talk about it." Laptops need salt water baths daily right? Because this one might get one.

2. You best have the same name on your passport on your ticket. The poor elderly woman in front of me in line had Marisol on her ticket, but Mari Sola on her passport. The security guy brought down a world of hurt on this 4 foot tall Hispanic lady. She was doing the "ees de same name, no?" and he was all "I'm in charge here lady, out of line." thankfully she got it all figured out, as she just boarded the plane.

3. Puerto rican ladies bring it when they travel. I apparently didn't get the memo that I was supposed wear my fake hair, don my linen jumpsuit and have my nails did with bling before traveling to San Juan. These woman (old and young) are dolled up I tell you, while I look like a middle aged lesbian who hasn't looked in the mirror in a week. At least I showere and put on mascara today.

4. Traveling without a child is insanely easy. I have forgotten how nice it is to travel without five carryons, multiple baby transport devices, and a little human hanging on to you. And security! What a breeze!

My husband didn't want to put out the trash cans so that our neighbors knew we were on vacation by the fact that we didn't bring them in the house. Well I guess you all know we are on vacation now. Don't rob our house. Please :)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Row 2 of plane

Vacation, All I've Ever Wanted

So the Grump, my husband, gets about five weeks of vacation every year, and every year he forfeits about three weeks of it because he is a big workaholic. With family visits at Thanksgiving and Christmas, we only really get one week for family vacation...and this year, it's with more family. We are all renting a large house in a lovely little town on the Jersey Shore, where I have been going "down" practically my entire life.

Some might call me crazy for signing up for a week with my mother and father, but they would not know the truth, which is that my in-laws are also coming for three nights. In other words, flat-out insane. My only hope is that they cosmically neutralize each other and leave me out of it, thus freeing me to sit on my tuchas on a white sand beach and think about nothing at all.

We are essentially doing the same drive as described in a previous post by Mama K. I used to do that exact route, over the Tappan Zee bridge, mainly because I enjoyed saying "Tappan Zee," but lately we've said the heck with it and just taken our chances going through the Bronx and over the GW Bridge.

When I was a kid growing up in Philadelphia, summer weather reports, aka the "forecast," were accompanied by reports of beach weather, aka the "shorecast." I was wondering what to pack this week and decided to google "Jersey shorecast," and instead of sunshine, I got Snooki (i.e. "Jersey Shore Cast"). My, how times have changed. Suffice it to say that we are going to a shore town that does not have anyone wearing a "bumpit," although in the past I have spotted the occasional IROC there.

But I digress. The thing I am most worried about is that the Duchess and Honey, who have always been early risers, have been positively getting up with the cows lately. I'm talking about 5:15am, if we are lucky. Although I have always been a morning person, this is a little too much morning for me. And we can't even do anything fun at night - for example, the Grump and I went out on Tuesday evening and got home at a reasonable 10:15pm, but I have been a wreck ever since due to lack of sleep.

(On the other hand, the evening was totally worth it. Among other things, the bouncer at one bar we went to carded me - and almost wouldn't let me in because I didn't have my ID! I am definitely going back there, if only for the ego boost).

Speaking of which, my birthday is next week. What I really want is for someone to let me sleep in - like till 7am (a luxury I can barely let myself think about). But since I know this will never happen, I will just do as I always do and tell the Grump that I want something very sparkly in a small box.

All of this is just diversion from my stress about spending quantity time with my parents, who are now at the stage of life where kvetching is an Olympic sport - and they are going for the gold. (You know - it's either too cold in here with the air conditioning, or too hot outside, etc.) Also, no matter how specific I am in providing instruction about what to do with the Duchess and Honey, my mother blows past my schedules and just does whatever she was going to do anyway. ("I raised three children," she will say indignantly if I bring anything up to her). My dad claims he will help, but I can tell the Duchess will spin him like a top. He is just too easy a mark.

What's scary is how much of my mother I have internalized. For example, she would never have brought, say, half a box of crackers from the cupboard with us to the rental house; instead, she would have gone out and purchased a brand-new box to bring with us, even if all anybody wanted was just a half a box. "Let's just get a fresh box," she would say. And, as I plan my shopping list, I realized: I do this unconsciously too!

On the bright side, I constantly remind myself, I will be there for a full week with four grandparents who will fall all over themselves to spend time with the girls, while I slip out to read Us Weekly in the sand. See you in a couple of weeks!

Thank God for Grandparents

Next weekend Dada J & I are off on our first real vacation since we had M. Yes, we have been away from her before, for 2 nights, but this vacation will be in a different country, and we will be away for 4 nights and 5 days, so we really won't see her for 5 nights in a row. I was hesitant to go that long, not because I would miss her (which I will, but once I get in a bathing suit and settle in by the pool at the Ritz with a cocktail I will be all "what kid?"), but because I was worried if she would be ok being around my parents for so long, without me or Dada J present. I was also worried about my parents having to take care of a toddler for that amount of time on their own - not that they didn't do it 32 years ago with myself and then my brother, but they are older now (yada yada yada). It only took a few visits from the Grandparents in the last few weeks to ease my fears completely and actually make me start to question whether she would rather live with them instead of us full time.

(Before I go any further, let me just note that Dada J's mother died when he was young, and while his father is still alive, he is older, and we only get to see him twice a year if we are lucky. M is also his 11th grandchild, while she is my parents first, so there is a big difference there.)

In the 18 months of M's short life, my parents have had a huge presence. Even though they live in Florida for most of the year, they have made a point to see her at least once a month, whether we are flown down there or they come up to see us (nothing like having a free place to stay in Florida in the middle of winter). But during the summers they now stay from Memorial day to the end of September at a golf resort in Newport, RI, simply because we live up here, and they want to be close to their granddaughter. Not only do we have built in babysitters for 4 months of the year (which for us is a huge thing as we have no family close to us at all), but my parents get to see M whenever they want...and if M had her way it would be every day.

There is something about my parents that makes M start to kick her legs and smile from ear to ear every time she sees them. She wants to hold their hands, not mine, when she walks...she wants to be in the same room with them when they are around...she wants to sit next to them. All I hear all day is her screaming their names, "Belle? Belle? Beh-beh? Beh-beh!? Papa? Papa? PA-PA!?"

If she hurts herself the first thing she says is "beeeeeh beeeeh!"

If we get in the car to go somewhere it is "Belle? Papa?" as if she is asking "are we going to see them? Because I want to see them right now." When we arrive somewhere and I get her out of the car it is the same thing, "Papa? Belle?"

We have photos of them in the living room, and when we are doing our laps around the house she walks up to the one of her and my father and says as dramatic as she can "Ohhhhhh PAAA PAAA!"

If we are all together and I pick her up she will immediately lung towards my mother and say "belle! Belle!"

Now, I don't want you to think I have a problem with all this, as I don't at all. I love the fact that she likes them so much. She doesn't kick and scream when we leave them, or when they leave to go home, and she doesn't throw fits because we don't see them every day. She just has this crazy enthusiasm for them, and it couldn't make them happier. It is honestly great for me too because I get much needed breaks when they are around!

And I know why she loves them so much. They are always "on." There is always a puppet in someone's hand, and a crazy voice coming out of their mouths. There is never a dull moment, or a lull in the "entertainment" ever! My mother draws with M, she sings with M, they play instruments together, they walk around the house, they walk outside, they read books...it is non-stop. At the end of a day my mom will always say "I don't know how you do it, I am exhausted."

To be honest I am not "the entertainer" all day at all. We go to classes, we go on errands, we watch some tv and play with the iPad occasionally (who am I kidding - there is no occasionally about it :). I also let her do a lot of independent play while I am cleaning up around the house. If I was the way my mom was with her, I would be asleep at 6:30 along with M.

So I am terribly excited for this adults-only vacation, and I think my parents are excited to have M all to themselves for a few days. They won't have me looking over their shoulders questioning their every move, which will be a nice change for them I am sure. She will probably eat some things I wouldn't normally feed her (if my mom has her way she will be having juice and cookies all day long), and her sleep schedule will probably be all out of whack, but that is fine by me.

I will be basking in the Caribbean sun, poolside with a margarita, reading a book uninterrupted. I will be able to sleep in (which is 7 AM for me), and not have to worry about checking a monitor during the night. I will go 5 days without changing a diaper. I will be able to use a real purse, instead of some giant heavy diaper bag. We will be able to have a nice long dinner, with no kids around, and not having to worry about getting back in time for the babysitter to meet her friends out. It will be glorious.

Of course my parents might never want to babysit again, but I will take my chances!!