Meal Time: Negotiations, False Promises and Empty Threats

I used to brag about M's eating habits here on the blog, feeling sorry for those parents out there whose kids only ate peanut butter and jelly or chicken fingers. I had a 3 year old who would eat grilled pork chops, steak, all kinds of fish or curry chicken salad. Basically anything I would put in front of her she would at least try. When we would go out to restaurants with friends I wouldn't even look at the kids menu - I would order her a fancy appetizer and she would eat it while her friends would just pick at their hot dogs and french fries.

Those days are long gone.

For the past month or so M's diet has pretty much consisted of fruit, mac n' cheese and snacks. So many snacks.

I loathe meal time in our house now. I will go through a menu list with M, asking her if she wants this, or this, or this (all things she used to like) until she finally gives me a yes. Let's say that she asked for a ham and cheese sandwich. I make a half of sandwich, because I know she will only have a few bites at most and I am sick of wasting food on my children. I put the sandwich in front of her and she will poke at it and say something like "I don't want a sandwich!" I will tell her that she had other choices, and this is what she asked for, so this is what I made, and this is lunch...eat it. Then she will go into the "I'm not hungry..." whine, which is not true because five minutes before this she was screaming about how hungry she was...for a cookie, or some other treat.

And this is when the negotiations begin...

"If you eat your sandwich I will give you some cherries..."
"I don't want cherries."
"If you eat your sandwich I will give you a jellybean."
"Two jellybeans?"
"Fine, if you eat your sandwich I will give you two jellybeans."

M eats two bites of sandwich.

"I don't want anymore sandwich. Can I have ice cream?"
"Absolutely not. Eat your sandwich."
"I don't like this sandwich."
"Yes you do. You just ate one two days ago and loved it."

M picks apart the sandwich and sticks a finger in the mayo, smells it.

"What is this white stuff? I don't like this stuff."
"That's mayo, and yes you love it. You licked it off the spoon the other day and loved it."
"I don't like it on the sandwich."
"Eat your sandwich."
"I want a cheese sandwich."

I remove the ham. Viola! A cheese sandwich.

"I don't like cheese sandwiches."

I feel the anger bubbling up inside me. On one side of me is a stuborn three year old, and on the other is a 12 month old screaming at the top of her lungs because I just told her for the 100th time not to feed the pooch. Said 12 month old is now sticking her fingers down her throat, trying to gag herself - a new fun meal time activity that she thinks is hilarious.

"If you eat your sandwich, maybe we can go to Whole Foods for ice cream tomorrow."
"Can I get vanilla ice cream?"
"Yes if you eat your sandwich."

M takes one bite.

"Can I have ice cream now?"
"No, eat your sandwich."

M fakes taking a bite of her sandwich and thinks it is hysterical. Anger bubbling...

"M, you need to at least eat this part of your sandwich (I rip already tiny sandwich in half) or we aren't going to see Grandma tomorrow." This of course is an empty threat as we are already packed and ready to head to Rhode Island...
"I want to see Grandma!"
"Then eat your sandwich!"

"I have to go potty!"

Ah, the potty ploy. Whenever M doesn't want to eat her food she will tell me she has to go potty. She will go into the bathroom, settle herself atop the porcelain throne and read whatever magazine I have in there - for at least 5 minutes.

"Did you go potty?"
"Not yet mom!"

Another 5 minutes go by and she comes out of the bathroom, but races by the table into the playroom.

"OH HECK NO! Back to the table..."

Queue the meltdown.

If Daddy is home, this is when he will follow M around the house, with sandwich in hand and force feed her bites in between her laps around the house. I am not a big fan of this method, as I too am stubborn and think she should be sitting down at a table when eating. But, at least she is eating something. There is something about Daddy being home that gets the girls to eat their food.

But, because she isn't eating much at actual meal times, she is now snacking like crazy. I would rather just give her a bowl of grapes than not feed her between meals because I don't want to hear the whining constantly that she is hungry. I think the only way I could actually get her to eat what I make for her at every meal would be to sit a bowl of ice cream in front of her as incentive to finish her food. That is one way to win parent of the year.

Now her sister...she is another story...for another post.

A Girl and Her Dog: Meal Time

Val and my dog have a very strong bond. Ellie, aka the pooch, loves Val - she cozies up next to her on the floor, lets Val crawl over to her and pull on her ears, and freaks out when I go upstairs with Val to put her down for the night. I mentioned in a post last month that Ellie was also whining and crying when we left the house, and after some detective work I discovered that it is only when we leave the house with Val that she really freaks out.

Ellie is no dummy when it comes to meal time. In the beginning of feeding Val solid food Ellie would hover around her high chair and jump when Val would accidentally drop food on the ground. Now that Val is older (1 year next Wednesday - gasp!) she is hip to the groove - she knows why Ellie is sitting right next to her during meals, and figures since they are best buds, might as well make things easy for the pooch. Hence our daily battles with Val to get her to stop feeding the pooch.


I can tell already that Val is going to be our little troublemaker when she grows up. She is already a little sassy minx, but when you tell her to stop feeding the pooch? Fuggedaboutit....

It goes something like this:

Me: Valerie, remember, don't feed the pooch. Eat your food. Don't give it to the pooch!
Val: Yup. Got it mom. You tell me every meal. 

Val: Oh you mean this food right here? I really think the pooch wants some.
Me: Put that in your mouth. Do Not Feed The Pooch!

Val: Let me just see if...See Mom, I told you she is hungry.
Me: NO! STOP!

Val (following an ear-piercing scream): WOMAN! Don't tell me to stop feeding the pooch! I do what I want!

You don't understand what Pooch and I have together...we have an understanding...

Wait, is that Mickey Mouse Clubhouse? I love this show!

Me: Valerie do not feed the pooch!!!

This is a face she does when she doesn't like what I say - It is like a snort face but she just breaths through her nose loudly. I call it her sassy face. And I see it often at meal time when I tell her not to feed the pooch.  

Val: Pooch, you want to just lick my hand? There is chicken residue on there. 

Val: No? I will just have a drink. You wait there. The large human will give me more chicken soon. 

Val: You sure you don't want to just smell it? 

Pooch: Wait, is that a tiny piece of chicken on there? Nope. Just vegetable. I don't do vegetables. 

Pooch: The medium sized human behind the camera doesn't understand us. We have an agreement. 

Pretzels, Pickles & Pineapple

I will not eat the food you give me woman! I will either
put it in my hair or throw it at the pooch. That is how I roll...

This is what M finally ate for lunch today...pretzels, pickles & pineapple.

I opened a yogurt - she had two bites and refused to have more.

I made a cream cheese & jelly sandwich - she had two bites and threw the rest on the floor.

I cut up turkey meatballs - one piece in mouth, spit out onto her tray, the rest thrown and the floor and into the pooch's belly.

And finally she ate two bread n' butter stacker pickles, about 5 bites of pineapple and a handfull of mini pretzel sticks.

Gone are the days of me bragging about what a fantastic eater my daughter is. I used to be able to make her things like sauteed tilapia and vegetable quiche. Now I am lucky if she even eats two bites of the same thing. I now dread every meal time as it consists of me making about 10 different things because who the hell knows what she is going to be in the mood for today! I used to be able to make anything and she would eat it...not so much anymore.

Tonight I cut up fresh papaya and avocado, thinking she hadn't had either in a long time and that she would eat them both up. The papaya made it to her tongue and she immediately gave me "the face" and spit it out and then proceeded to throw the piece on her tray on the floor. Papaya is not easy to get up off the hardwood people! And same went for the avocado...one of her old favorites. I then got out some pieces of a chicken I roasted earlier this week, that was a big hit three days ago (to my utter shock she ate it two meals in a row). Yeah you would have thought I was giving her dog food (maybe I should try dog food!).

Then I gave her tiny pieces of shrimp cocktail - spit out.

Then I cooked some turkey sausage - not even put in mouth, just thrown directly at the pooch, who gladly woofed it down (pun intended).

When she said with a big smile "cheese!" I gladly got out some cheese for her. Little did I know she didn't want to actually eat the cheese, but throw it at the pooch.

We finally resorted to a berry, banana, peanut butter, leftover yogurt from lunch, protein powder and milk smoothie. And she drank the entire thing. This also happens to be what she had for breakfast this morning. I guarantee tomorrow she will hate it.

Help! What are some other things I can add to our repertoire!