Growing Up at Ludicrous Speed

When you have your first child you cannot wait for them to hit certain milestones.

I can't wait for this kid to sleep through the night. 
When is this child going to sit up on their own?
I am so sick of these bottles, I can't wait to use sippy cups. 
I wish my kid was walking so I didn't have to carry her around so much anymore!
I cannot wait to not have to change diapers anymore! 

You see other babies your child's age doing things before your child and wish that your kid was crawling, or climbing, eating solids or using the potty. Is there something wrong with my kid? Why isn't she doing what everyone else is? Little Jonny can say his ABCs and all my kid does is talk gibberish - is there something wrong with her? Are the other moms judging me because my kid is still in diapers and she is almost 3? 

M was born almost 5 week early, so she did everything later than kids her age. She sat up on her own months after the other kids, she never crawled (just did this weird butt scoot thing) and she didn't really walk on her own until she was 20 months old!

We tried for months to potty train her before her 3rd birthday, with no luck. We tried all different methods, all kinds of rewards, but she would still have accidents all day long. One month after she turned 3 it just clicked - and the diapers were gone for good.

18 months and loving the potty - not right!

The lesson I learned with M is that kid's will do things when they are damn good and ready to do things. No matter what kind of reward you put in front of them, or how many times you try and get them to walk to you, they won't do these physical things until they are actually ready to physically do them. Some kids walk at 10 months - my kid walked at 20 months. Some kids are potty trained at 2 - mine was potty trained at a little over 3 - some kids not until 4 - and some 5 year olds I know still wear Pull-ups at night.

But at some point in our children's lives they will all be walking, talking, potty-using, reading and writing human beings. Just at their own pace.

I was inspired to write this post by dear sweet Val, who today is 18 months old. Adorable, chewable
baby Val, who is growing up way too fast. She is an 8 year old in the body of an 18 month old (who really looks like a 2 year old because she is so damn tall.)

Hubs and I both feel that Val is changing a Ludicrous Speed. I took her out to lunch yesterday and she sat there, in her high chair, eating her food with a big adult fork while watching a show on her iPad. She would stop, put her fork down to rest on her plate, and take a sip of water, then just go back to eating with her big girl fork. I just sat and stared at her while I was eating - totally in shock that this kid, just started walking on her own 2 months ago and is now eating like an adult?? How did this happen?

And now she is totally into using the potty! WHAT? Every day she runs into the potty and starts yelling for me to come in and sit her own the big potty (with a little seat of course). She sits there, takes some toilet paper and tries to wipe her lady parts and then puts it in the pot. She looks at me and says "down mama. All done," and then stands there and flushes the potty. Now, she isn't actually going to the potty, but I am scared that she is already totally into using the potty at 18 months!

With your second (and/or last) child you don't want them to hit these milestones like you did with the first (except for the sleeping through the night - I am not a crazy person). I didn't care if Val didn't walk until she was 2 years old. I wasn't encouraging it at all (my parents were, but I wasn't) as I loved holding her all day and carrying her around in the Ergo. I was glad to say goodbye to bottles, but I don't ever want her to be out of diapers! I don't want her to get any older! She is already in 2T clothes for crying out loud.

Life is moving at an uncomfortable speed for me right now. Hubs and I are so in love with our kids at these ages, that I really don't want them to grow up! There is just enough drama for us to handle right now - I can't imagine these two ladies as teenagers. Sweet fancy Moses do we have our work cut out for us in the years to come.

Early Intervention

Around the time my son started verbalizing, he developed some, for lack of a better word, verbal "oddities."  At the advice of the doctor we watched and waited.  Ignoring the advice of the doctor, I worried.  At 18 months, I made a special appointment just to talk about this particular "problem," as it was becoming increasingly noticeable.  (For those of you that are seeking a similar appointment, consider the last appointment of the day, as the doctor isn't rushed.  We had the luxury of a good 30 minutes with the doctor). 

I was pretty sure these oddities, were just that and not a sign of something more serious.  My first was a late talker who quickly surpassed his peers, so I was use to a "range of development."  But this was just so...odd.  The awareness of developmental disorders is a blessing and a curse.  More kids get help sooner, but more moms freak out when their child doesn't follow the book to the letter.  My pediatrician concurred that everything was likely normal, but he hadn't ever seen a child with something similar.  So we got a referral to a neurologist.  Knowing that I would likely wait for months for an appointment (Don't worry, we managed to get in within 2 weeks at both Tufts and Children's.  I think this is typically the norm.), I also made a call to Early Intervention (EI). 

Early Intervention is a wonderful program run by the state.  From the words of their website: Early Intervention is an integrated, developmental service available to families of children between birth and three years of age. Children may be eligible for EI if they have developmental difficulties due to identified disabilities, or if typical development is at risk due to certain birth or environmental circumstances.

Eligibility for Early Intervention is determined in several different ways.  If your child was born before 32 weeks, had a NICU admission of more than 5 days, or has one of many other characteristics, you may "automatically" be eligible.   In our case, I self referred, using an online form from the company that provides services in my area (your "center" is determined by your location; see this list).  Doctors and caregivers can also refer.  Within the week, we had an "intake interview" during which we went over my concerns.  A week later, a group of people came to do the evaluation.  My son qualified for 6 months of services which started a week or so after the initial evaluation. 

For the last 6 months, a wonderful developmental specialist has come to my house to work with my son.  During this one hour, my son gets someone's complete attention (yes, if I was a good mother, I'd be giving him this!!).  They do puzzles, crafts, play games - things that encourage him to talk.  Each week, she provides us one or two very specific things to work on.  This was the most helpful for me - a clear path to help my son communicate.  For instance, he was good at saying food words, but that was it.  So she taught him the sign for "more" and encouraged him to combine a food word with the "more" sign.  It was his first "two word combo" and by the end of the week, he realized it was easier to drop the sign and just say "more cracker."  Everyone asked me if I thought he got there "on his own" or if I thought "EI did it."  Honestly, I don't know, but I don't doubt for a second that EI was time well spent.  (We managed to see the neurologist shortly before we started services, and he assured us the "oddities" were just that - odd - but not at all concerning.)

We also took advantage of the playgroups, which I would highly recommend.  Once a week, for three hours, the kids played, sang songs, worked on crafts, etc.  The schedule was the same each week, with specific songs sung at each transition, to ease the children into a routine.  The playgroup had a range of abilities - some like my son that were just a little delayed and some children with major delays in every areas - and it was a good early lesson about "everyone is different." 

As our services come to an end, I'm sad.  Our provider is like a member of our family!  And she has been so instrumental in this whirlwind of development.  If you, like me, get to the point where you're watching everything your child does like a hawk and wondering "is this normal," call Early Intervention.  There is no harm in just having an evaluation.  And even your child doesn't qualify, they may give you some advice or information to ease your worries.  If your child's delay isn't great enough to qualify, they can point you in the direction of other local services or give you things to work on at home.  These services exist for our benefit, so don't for a minute hesitate.  Fees are minimal, especially considering the wealth of opportunities available (and you only pay a fee if you qualify for services).  Early Intervention isn't something to be embarrassed about, it's something you can do at a young age to put your child on a path to success. 

All on her own time

When M was born 4 weeks early, we were told by the doctors that she would most likely be a little behind other kids developmentally. Along with being born early, she was born with terrible reflux so the required "tummy time" lasted a fraction of the time it should have, as she would throw up and choke when on her belly. She wasn't able to hold her head up until a month after all her friends. She was the last person in our class to be able to sit up on her own. The lack of tummy time led to weak arm strength, which led to not crawling...at all, ever. Eventually she learned to scoot around on her bum - something that looked like Gollum from Lord of the Rings, but hell it got her from point A to B. 

M is very tall and skinny like Dada J -
 Mama J is jealous

When she still hadn't started walking on her own by 12 months, we were told to see a pediatric orthopedic specialist. We went to MGH, she had X-Rays of her hips (as her feet are pretty turned out - like a ballerina in second position), and he looked her over in about 2 minutes. He explained that due to her larger than average head (100 percentile to be exact) and her tiny skinny long body (97% height, 50% weight) her center of gravity is way off kilter, so she will take a little longer to walk on her own, but overall everything looks great. At this appointment I was told "she will be off running on her own any day now." That was in January.

While all her friends started walking on their own, she was taking a few steps holding both of my hands. Then we finally went to just one hand in the Spring. While holding onto just one of my fingers (barely holding on) she was able to run around and do what she should be able to do at this age on her own.  It had been 6 months since that last appointment at MGH, so we went back for another check-up. This appointment lasted approximately 60 seconds (after we waited 45 minutes for the doctor, and we were his first appointment!) and we were again told there was nothing to worry about, "she is just stubborn."

Three weeks ago, the day we came home from our Adults Only Puerto Rican Adventure (see previous posts :), M walked for the first time on her own. She took 21 steps the first time she ever walked and looked like she had been doing it for months. We were ecstatic. But little did we know it would be a one time thing - thank God we got it on tape. 

So now it is 3 weeks later and she has yet to walk on her own again. And Mama is frustrated beyond belief. I understand kids do things when they want to, but she turned 19 months yesterday! She should be running around with her friends, not holding my hand or falling on her bum (there is no in-between now). If I try to let go of her hand she starts to whine and will just sit on her bum. If we try to get her to walk from my husband to I, her legs will turn to jelly and she will refuse to even stand up! And it drives me crazy. 

Everyone keeps saying "she will walk when she is ready," but she HAS walked, she CAN walk, so why doesn't she just walk!?! It is like she is terrified to walk on her own again, and I don't understand why. She didn't fall and hurt herself, she actually screamed with delight when she did it that one time. I have even sat her in front of the computer and showed her video of her walking and she will clap and say "yeah baby walk!" and I will say "yes! let's try it again!" and she will just start to moan and sit down and refuse to walk. 

What is going on in her mind-grapes?? How do I get my stubborn child to walk on her own? Any suggestions? 

A Figment of Imagination

Image: Ashley Cox / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

My 2 year old son, N, has an imaginary friend. His name is Hoti (N is too young to tell me how to spell it but it’s pronounced “ho-tee”). I am assuming the fact that he is imaginary means I don’t have to worry about privacy concerns and that Hoti won’t sue me for using his name on the internet. Or if he decides to sue, he’ll at least use an imaginary lawyer.

Anyway, Hoti has begun to make appearances over the past month or so, and it is basically the cutest thing ever. On the way into the car, N will announce “Hoti is getting in first. Here you go Hoti!” We were going for a walk yesterday afternoon and N was pretending to hold Hoti’s hand. All of a sudden he turned around and walked the wrong way for a few steps, then said “No, Hoti! That’s the wrong way! This way!” and turned around with this big smile on his face like he knows he’s being clever.

I don’t think I ever had an imaginary friend and a quick conversation with my mom earlier this week confirmed that my sisters never had one either. I’m not sure why N has developed one – I suspect it is because he likes having someone who is totally under his control. His attempts to boss me around are met with “how do you ask nicely?” His attempts to boss his sister around are met with a gleeful coo but no action (at 4 months old she adores him, but can’t yet do his bidding. She is definitely in trouble once she can.) His attempts to boss the cats around result in a terrified scramble of cat hair out of the room. So I guess I can understand his wanting to be in charge of someone. N wants to feed someone, Hoti goes into the high chair. N wants to be better behaved than someone, Hoti runs into the street and N gets to scold him. You get the idea.

Since N gets to manipulate Hoti in order to fit his needs, this week I decided to do the same, and am starting to become convinced I am a parenting genius. At our house, we struggle with transitions a LOT. Now I have a new weapon! I just say fine, if N doesn’t want to stop playing and get in the bath I will give Hoti a bath instead. Poof! N is splashing around in 10 seconds or less. N doesn’t want to put his shoes on and I tell him fine, I’ll take Hoti to school instead. Poof! N is sitting on the rug with his socks!

It’s awesome. Though possibly manipulative. I figure I am entitled, since this is guaranteed to only work for about a week until I’m back to stuffing my kid kicking and screaming into his pajamas.

Author note – I let my husband read this post and he informed me that I according to the section on imaginary friends in our parenting book I am not supposed to do this. Sigh. FOILED AGAIN.

Taking Baby Steps

About a month ago, I arrived at work at the same time as a co-worker, a kindly, yet socially awkward grandmother of two. We walked into the building together, exchanging casual pleasantries about our new school building and the beautiful September weather. As we approached the building, she asked about Caitlin. I told her about some of Caitlin's newest tricks-saying, "uh oh," pretending to read books, and shaking her head yes or no. Despite this impressive array of skills, my indifferent co-worker asked, "Is she walking yet?" Baby C was thirteen months old and yet to take a single unassisted step. "No, not by herself," I replied. "Ohthat'so.k!" my co-worker responded, just a bit too quickly. Do you really think that is o.k., or do you actually think my daughter has a gross motor developmental delay? "Yes, of course it's o.k." I responded, trying to project confidence and annoyance all at once. Thank goodness we finally went through the door and parted ways, ending a potentially obnoxious conversation before it really began.

Truthfully, I worried Caitlin had yet to take independent steps. Isn't thirteen months a little on the late side? Many of my friends' children walked much earlier. My mother often tells me I walked at eleven months (although she probably thinks I could read at eleven months, too). Don't get me wrong, Caitlin walked all over the place while holding furniture, pushing a toy or a small chair, or resting her hand against a wall for support. She could even stand alone, then go from standing to squatting or sitting, and back to standing again. The girl had moves, she just seemed reluctant to show off her moves all by herself. Caitlin approaches most things with caution, therefore I was not surprised by her hesitance to walk independently. I reassured myself that she would walk when she felt ready, however the constant "Is she walking?" line of questioning raised some insecurities. Would Caitlin be content to crawl and cruise forever more?

Sometimes when I feel anxious, I give my anxiety a timeline. I decided not to worry about Caitlin's lack of walking until she turned fourteen months old. In the meantime, I would help my hesitant little one get excited about taking steps. I tried many different tricks-holding out a sippy cup of juice or a snack just out of Caitlin's reach, placing a favorite toy just a few steps ahead, or even letting go of C's hand while we walked around the house. Each time, she stood for a moment, negotiating her next move. And each time, she decided to get down on all fours and crawl. Caitlin is clever: why walk when she could get that piece of cheese or stuffed animal much faster by crawling? As the fourteen month mark approached, I felt my anxiety build slowly.

The week before C's fourteen month "birthday," my husband and I went to Newport for the weekend, leaving C in Nana's care. We returned just in time to witness Caitlin take her first independent steps across Nana's kitchen floor. Her steps were met with huge cheers from all of us lucky enough to witness such a special moment. After three unsteady steps, Caitlin plopped down and crawled away, relieved to find the safety of the nearby floor and get away from us screaming lunatics.

Since that afternoon, Caitlin has taken many more steps, still wobbly, still only three or four at a time. Crawling, or holding the hand of a trusted adult remain her preferred choices. As I watch Caitlin determinedly teeter up our front walkway, I often think back to that early morning conversation at work which led to such anxiety. How could I let somebody raise such feelings of insecurity about my amazing little munchkin? Caitlin does things when she is good and ready. She proceeds with caution. She takes baby steps. As her mother, I know this much is true about my daughter. As her mother, I also know other people's expectations and ideas of "what is normal" are just not very important. Still, this is something I must remind myself of often. Just like my daughter, I'm working on this, taking baby steps.

Scoot Marks

My son William is a bit of a late bloomer when it comes to motor development: he became mobile just a few days before he reached 10 months of age.  His mode of transport is not a neat, clean hands-and-knees crawl, but more of a complicated full-body commando-crawl, and it has some surprising side-effects.

Picture my little love, flat on his belly, pulling himself forward with one forearm while the other hand pushes off to the side like an oar.  His torso twists and he lifts his butt into the air a little while bending his knees, flexing his feet and tucking his toes under to push off.  In the first few days of this new skill, he could only creep forward about 4 inches at a time.  Over time he has developed a longer “stride” and speedier movements.

His lovely white and pastel organic cotton onesies, which I so lovingly searched for online, and which complement his peachy complexion so well are now streaked down the front with the filth I had no idea resided on our floors. I call these “scoot marks.”  It is a technical term.  Note the rugged OshKosh B’Gosh overalls he is wearing in the photo: Now I know why these come in infant sizes!

His ten little rotund toes each have a pink blister on the tip, which upset me at first. But do they bother my sensitive little guy? No, not at all. The joy that his new found mobility brings him radiates from his face. His flushed cheeks, grunts of exertion and the smiles he shoots me over his shoulder as he scoots away remind me that babies’ internal drive to develop new skills is a powerful one.  And as I fold his overpriced organic onesies after being laundered, I remind myself that William’s feelings of joy and pride are worth every permanent scoot mark.                                                               

52 Pick Up

Why do babies have to drop everything on the floor? Is it the noise it makes when it hits the ground? Is it getting a rise out of Mama & Dada? Do they know what they are doing? Is it actually a fun game for them?

I remember going out to eat with a dear friend of mine last year (before baby) and her one year old was throwing everything she gave him on the floor. It was driving me nuts, and everyone around us for that matter, but she acted calm and would bend over and pick it up and give it back to him. I just remember thinking that I would be so annoyed if my kid ever did that.

how could you be mad at this face???

And here I am today, in an ongoing game of 52 (more like 1,000,000) pick up with Baby M. I sit her in her high chair and put something in front of her to entertain her for a few seconds while I prepare her meal, and within 10 seconds it is on the ground. I put more than one thing...bam! Bam! Bam! And I stop what I am doing and look over at her and she has the biggest grin ever on her face. Of course I can't get mad, because I love her and it isn't like she knows what she is doing, does she?

I am constantly picking toys up off the floor, running them under water and giving them back to her. Because our dog sheds (and I am forever sweeping the hair up off the hardwood) there is bound to be dog hair on whatever she drops, so I can't just give it back to her. Not that she has a way of of knowing this of course.

And food - if I give her the teething food bag with something in it...5 seconds, it is on the floor face down. So much for those peaches! And puffs - forget about it! I wish my dog liked to eat those, but she is too good for them - the snobby dog that she is.

Is this just a phase? I know that all kids do this, but does it ever stop?

Open Mouth, Insert Everything

Why is it that babies, like dogs, want to put everything in their mouths? Since she could first use her hands to grasp things, my daughter has been putting things in her mouth. You name it, she has attempted, or succeeded in putting it in her mouth. The dogs leash. Any strap on anything. A Pen. A pillow. Any book you try to read to her (see video). My keyboard. My iPhone. My bra strap (see aforementioned strap comment). My nose. The dogs nose. My foot. Her foot. The dogs foot. The steering wheel on a golf cart. The handlebar of her stroller.

Any new toy - forget what it is supposed to do - it goes into her mouth.

I get her dressed, she tries to put her shirt or pants (while on her) in her mouth.

I put her in her stroller, or carseat, and the first thing she does is put a strap in her mouth or lean to the side and try to chew on part of the actual seat.

It has happened on occasion that she has gotten things that she could choke on in her mouth too (always when I look away for a few seconds of course). Once she manged to get a hang tag (I was unaware was) still on a stuffed animal off of the actual plastic tag thing and into her mouth. Next thing I know she smiles and there is a giant cardboard heart tag in her mouth. And yesterday she managed to tear a piece of cellophane from a bag, containing a scone from Whole Foods, and chew on that unbeknown to me - I put it down on the table for all of 5 seconds, and next thing I know it is in her mouth. Cut to panicking Mama about to call 911 with visions of a suffocating child. Thankfully it was on the edge of her lips and I could pull it out easily. But that was a lesson learned: Do not put anything, no matter what it be, within the reach of my daughter because she will open her mouth and put it in there.

Like a lot of babies, she goes for the tags on toys instead of the actual toy itself. So, I bought her one of those Taggie the Elephants that are covered in tags. She wants nothing to do with it. I just bought her a VTech toy that spins around and plays music...I put it in front of her in her high chair (mind you it is not a small toy) she leans over and puts her mouth on it instead of touching it with her hands. I swear my daughter might be part dog.

But the funny thing about this is that she can't get most food in her mouth! We are lucky if she gets 10% of what we give her to pick up with her fingers into her mouth. But if it is inedible, right into her mouth. When does this stop??

Anyone else going through this with their baby?

Back to Baby School: Fall Semester starts at Isis Maternity

This past Wednesday Baby M and I, along with 6 Mamas (and 6 babies), began our Fall Semester at Isis. We are all enrolled in the "Movers & Groovers" class, our 5th class that we have taken together since our babies are born. None of us can actually fathom this: when we finish this class, all of our babies will be one year old, and we will have been together (practically) every week since January 16th. As I have mentioned in previous posts, these women have changed our lives for the better in many ways, and I can't thank the Isis gods enough for putting us all in the same class!

With that said, I would love to just do a quick review of each class we have taken to date:

Last day of Great Beginnings class

1. Great Beginnings (for babies 2-10 weeks old): This was the absolute best class I took at Isis (both during pregnancy and after), but that could be due to the fact that I took it at a time where I needed something like this the most. It was a place where the 10 of us could open our hearts about being new moms, and realize that the things we were thinking were not as crazy as we thought they were at the time. Our "teacher's" name was Nancy, and she was a modern day Mary Poppins: wild salt and pepper hair, hint of a British accent and able to calm any fussy baby with a few bounces on the exercise ball. The first nugget she taught us was "ABC: All Babies Cry" and I will remember it forever. Seems so silly to say now, but at the time it was exactly what we wanted (and needed) to hear. During this class we talked about our babies development, breastfeeding (and not), our sex lives, and how to manage our newly chaotic life among many other topics. This class, obviously, was aimed more towards the moms than the babies and I cannot recommend it enough for all new moms out there. If you don't live in the Boston area it is more than worth your while to search out a local class just like this when the baby comes.

2. Next Steps (babies 3-5 months, or GB graduates): This class was kind of a blur for all of us in the group. I remember singing a lot in this class, which at the time I thought was pretty silly because my baby was only about 3 1/2 months old and couldn't care less about being sung to. The curriculum was much like that of Great Beginnings, and we all felt like a lot of stuff was repeated (yes, we know a crock pot can be a new mom's best friend, and we are aware of Peapod grocery delivery). Our teacher's name was Heather, and for some reason we didn't really bond with her that well. I think she might have been intimidated by the fact we all knew each other pretty well by that time, but we didn't really gel like we did with Nancy. We were all happy to attend the classes because we again got to see each other each week and thrived on that time out of the house with baby.

3. Caterpillar class (babies 5-7 months, or NS grads): During this class the babies started to pay attention to the singing and much more so to the teacher, Teresa, whom we loved. She was similar in age to all of us (early 30s) and has a child of her own, she took to us, and the babies right away. We spent about 30 minutes each class singing, followed by a book, and finally our 30 minute Mama discussion. This is when we really started to see the babies become more social with each other.

Last day of Social Butterflies

4. Social Butterflies (6-8 months old): Thank God for Social Butterflies and Miss Rebecca (as I like to call her). This was the most fun class for Baby M and I. Because she has been kind of a late bloomer socially, it wasn't until this class that she actually started to react and enjoy what was happening around her. Like all the other classes we sang for half of the time, and talked for the other half, but during the singing we had more advanced toys to play with to help the babies develop their fine motor skills. We talked about food in this class too, as all of our babies were now eating solid foods. In this class we also had a ball pool to play in, tunnels to crawl through (for those that were on the move early), slides, Rodis and all sorts of other interactive things for the babies to enjoy. I have to say Miss Rebecca was a fabulous teacher, with the voice of a Disney Princess. The babies took to her right away - and some wanted to go home with her they loved her so much!

If you are lucky enough to be able to attend class at Isis, I recommend taking as many classes in succession as possible. Like I have said before, I have met some great women because of Isis, and by the end of the class we will have spent an entire year together. It is a very rare situation that we actually all liked each other and got along so well, and even rarer that we have been able to take classes together.

For more detailed information, and to register for classes, visit Isis' website!

Clapping & Laughing & Talking & Dancing (& Less Sleeping)

The last 2 weeks have been filled with milestones for Baby M. Right around turning 9 months old, she has learned to clap on her own and she has been finding so many things hysterical, which leads her to the most incredibly sounding belly laugh I have ever heard. She has also started putting together some new words (ok sounds - it isn't like she is actually talking yet or understanding what she says) and she loves to dance when music comes on.

Baby M about to tee off on the 12th...or just put all that in her mouth

Now all of these things sound pretty trivial when I write them down here - it isn't like she is directly asking for things, or walking or solving long division problems - but each of these little things warms my heart and makes my eyes tear up when she does them. To watch this little being using her brain harder than she ever has just to get her hands to touch in front of her face is the most amazing thing ever. And when she actually accomplishes it and looks up at me with that beautiful smile - DONE!

For such a long time I felt like Baby M would do none of these things for a long time. She wasn't sitting when all the other babies were, she wasn't grabbing toys or playing with the other kids in our classes, so I thought she wouldn't be doing much of anything until a year old. All of the sudden it is like a switch went off in her brain and here she is ready to party!

And with this new found energy comes a big change in her sleep patterns, which I came to discover is VERY normal around 9 months with babies. Just a few weeks ago Baby M was taking 3 naps - 30 minutes in the morning, about 90 minutes after her second breakfast, and up to 2 hours before her dinner. She would go down around 7:30 - 8 and sleep until 5:30 - 6 the next morning, every night, with little to no fussing. Well about 2 weeks ago exactly she started screaming hysterically when it was time to for bed, waking up multiple times during the night, not wanting to nap at all during the day (2 days we went with 30 minutes worth of nap total and it was not pretty) and not wanting to be put in her crib at all. And add the fact that she is teething (getting in the top ones now I believe) you have a perfect storm.

Baby M on vacation last weekend. Too much fun.

And I forgot to add when I posted this earlier that now she likes to do acrobatics in her crib. When I put her down (on her back) tonight 10 minutes later she ended up with her head at the opposite end of the crib, on her stomach. I just checked the monitor and she is now perpendicular in her crib. Now that she knows how to move around in her crib this also is a contributor to the waking up. 

I started doing the normal mom-online-research and discovered that at 9 months babies go through what they call "sleep regression." At this point in their young lives their bodies and brains are working overtime as they learn to crawl (not in our case...don't think that is ever happening), start to talk, eat a variety of different food, start to pull themselves up, or get on all fours. Because of all this new stimulation, physically and mentally, their sleep habits are affected. For some unfortunate parents this can last months, but if you are lucky it only lasts a few weeks. There really is no "cure" for this behavior, so like all parents affected, we are just riding it out.

Now I must say that putting her down at night has become easier these last few days, but we are still not back to napping regularly as we were before. Which might mean that we are dropping one of the naps too - we will just have to wait and see.

So if your baby is going through all this same stuff, do not fret, you are not alone! Here are some great websites that I found helped tremendously for me during this time:

• http://www.askmoxie.org/2008/03/talk-about-the.html
• http://www.mamapedia.com/article/my-9-1-2-month-old-son-is-suddenly-waking-up-at-night

One of these things is not like the other

I have many girlfriends that have babies. And being surrounded by all these babies makes me automatically compare my daughter's development to that of the other babies. Baby H is sitting up unassisted, why isn't Marlo? Baby L was teething by 5 months, why isn't Marlo? Baby C is feeding himself? Baby L is sleeping through the night? What is wrong with my kid!?!

I have to continually remind myself, as I have mentioned on the blog many times, Marlo was born 4 weeks early. And ever since she was born, we were told to think of her as a month younger than she actually was, or use her due date as her  "developmental age." But that does not stop me from comparing her to every other baby I know.

Before I had Marlo I would see other babies that weren't walking by a certain age and think "what is wrong with that kid?" or hear of a baby that was sleeping through the night at 4 months old and think "that is going to be my kid!" Little did I know that I would have no control over what my baby would do, and when she would do it.

And then once I had her, I started receiving the weekly "Your Baby This Week" emails and that is when the concern started to set in. I tell you right now - if you have a young baby and receive these emails (I was getting mine from babycenter.com) OPT OUT RIGHT NOW!! They will drive you insane.

"Your baby can follow you with his eyes!" - Negative
"By now, your baby is smiling at you!"- Nope!!
"Isn't it great that your baby can hold his own bottle!" - Not in this house!

With all the hurdles we have had to deal with (the constant spitting up, the helmet (more on that torture device to come in a separate post) and for the last 2 months I swear she has been teething, but so far nothing) combined with her adjusted age, I need to come to grips with the fact that she will probably develop a little slower than other babies...and I am totally fine with that. Right? Aren't I?

Just because Marlo isn't sitting up by herself yet, doesn't mean she won't get into Harvard when the time comes. And just because she isn't sleeping through the night it doesn't mean that she won't be playing professional tennis by the age of 15. It better not, or her father's hopes and dreams will be crushed!