Friday, February 14, 2014

Growing Up at Ludicrous Speed

When you have your first child you cannot wait for them to hit certain milestones.

I can't wait for this kid to sleep through the night. 
When is this child going to sit up on their own?
I am so sick of these bottles, I can't wait to use sippy cups. 
I wish my kid was walking so I didn't have to carry her around so much anymore!
I cannot wait to not have to change diapers anymore! 

You see other babies your child's age doing things before your child and wish that your kid was crawling, or climbing, eating solids or using the potty. Is there something wrong with my kid? Why isn't she doing what everyone else is? Little Jonny can say his ABCs and all my kid does is talk gibberish - is there something wrong with her? Are the other moms judging me because my kid is still in diapers and she is almost 3? 

M was born almost 5 week early, so she did everything later than kids her age. She sat up on her own months after the other kids, she never crawled (just did this weird butt scoot thing) and she didn't really walk on her own until she was 20 months old!

We tried for months to potty train her before her 3rd birthday, with no luck. We tried all different methods, all kinds of rewards, but she would still have accidents all day long. One month after she turned 3 it just clicked - and the diapers were gone for good.

18 months and loving the potty - not right!
The lesson I learned with M is that kid's will do things when they are damn good and ready to do things. No matter what kind of reward you put in front of them, or how many times you try and get them to walk to you, they won't do these physical things until they are actually ready to physically do them. Some kids walk at 10 months - my kid walked at 20 months. Some kids are potty trained at 2 - mine was potty trained at a little over 3 - some kids not until 4 - and some 5 year olds I know still wear Pull-ups at night.

But at some point in our children's lives they will all be walking, talking, potty-using, reading and writing human beings. Just at their own pace.

I was inspired to write this post by dear sweet Val, who today is 18 months old. Adorable, chewable
baby Val, who is growing up way too fast. She is an 8 year old in the body of an 18 month old (who really looks like a 2 year old because she is so damn tall.)

Hubs and I both feel that Val is changing a Ludicrous Speed. I took her out to lunch yesterday and she sat there, in her high chair, eating her food with a big adult fork while watching a show on her iPad. She would stop, put her fork down to rest on her plate, and take a sip of water, then just go back to eating with her big girl fork. I just sat and stared at her while I was eating - totally in shock that this kid, just started walking on her own 2 months ago and is now eating like an adult?? How did this happen?

And now she is totally into using the potty! WHAT? Every day she runs into the potty and starts yelling for me to come in and sit her own the big potty (with a little seat of course). She sits there, takes some toilet paper and tries to wipe her lady parts and then puts it in the pot. She looks at me and says "down mama. All done," and then stands there and flushes the potty. Now, she isn't actually going to the potty, but I am scared that she is already totally into using the potty at 18 months!

With your second (and/or last) child you don't want them to hit these milestones like you did with the first (except for the sleeping through the night - I am not a crazy person). I didn't care if Val didn't walk until she was 2 years old. I wasn't encouraging it at all (my parents were, but I wasn't) as I loved holding her all day and carrying her around in the Ergo. I was glad to say goodbye to bottles, but I don't ever want her to be out of diapers! I don't want her to get any older! She is already in 2T clothes for crying out loud.

Life is moving at an uncomfortable speed for me right now. Hubs and I are so in love with our kids at these ages, that I really don't want them to grow up! There is just enough drama for us to handle right now - I can't imagine these two ladies as teenagers. Sweet fancy Moses do we have our work cut out for us in the years to come.


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