Frestaurant: Where everybody's glad you came...

I don't know about you, but I love to go out to eat. I get sick of cooking and cleaning up after my kids three times a day. I like to sit down in a place that doesn't have food stuck to the floor (at least at the beginning of the meal) and get served food that I would never make at home. Eating out, in combination with a 12 month old that doesn't sit still, likes to scream at the top her lungs, and has grabby hands does not a happy experience make.

A few weeks ago I took my girls out to lunch at the Yard House, one of our favorite kid-friendly restaurants. Why is it kid friendly? It is loud, there are televisions (which are always playing sports, but they are a distraction to any kid) and it isn't fancy. I spent the entire time I was there using my left hand to feed M food while she watched the iPad, and the other hand either holding a bottle in Val's mouth or picking up whatever she threw on the floor. As soon as my food arrived I asked the waitress to put it in a to-go container. I ate my soggy salad 2 hours later after we got home and put Val down for a nap.

Today I met a good friend of mine, and her two kids (ages 3 and 6) for lunch. I warned my friend that lunch with Val is "chaos," but I don't think she was mentally prepared for lunch with the Tasmanian Devil. Val spent the entire time throwing things on the floor, trying to escape from her high chair and grabbing at anything and everything, until she finally (God only knows how) pulled an iced tea on herself. I ended up wrangling and entertaining Val while my friend ate, and then she so generously took over so I could woof down my salad. It was a typical restaurant experience for me, but today I felt like instead of people around us being understanding I was getting looks left and right. Next to us was a table of grandmother aged women who I thought would feel sorry for us and the chaos, but instead were throwing shade our way the entire meal. Even when I apologized to them for Val's behavior on more than one occasion I didn't get anything but stink eyes in response.

The restaurant we ate at was "family friendly" in some ways, but are there truly any really family friendly restaurants out there? I think no, and that is why I am going to open the ultimate family friendly restaurant, or "Frestaurant" as I will call my chain of eateries...

Frestaurant will only serve parties with kids ages 0 - 6.

All meals will be served on melamine plates (nice looking ones of course), and all glasses will be acrylic, so you don't need to worry about your children breaking dishes or glasses.

The food will be delicious - not fried bar-food crap that you usually get at family restaurants.

The menu will offer "kids size" portions of all the adult menu options, so that your kids can learn to eat food other than grilled cheese, chicken fingers and pizza (these will also be offered on a separate kids menu, and will be made of all natural ingredients).

There will be a call button at each table so that you can get your waiters attention without having crane your neck around looking for her/him.

Your check will automatically appear when you push a button at your table, and you are able to swipe your credit card yourself (like at those self-check outs at the grocery store) so that you aren't waiting forever for your check to come.

Frestaurants will have "baby wranglers." Does your child not like to sit still? Our baby wranglers will walk your child around in your stroller, being within eye sight at all times. Does your baby like to be rocked? Our grandma baby wranglers have years of experience with babies and will happily take your baby to one of our rockers near your table and calm your baby down while you enjoy your meal.

Frestaurants will also have "toy wranglers." Does your baby like to constantly throw things on the ground? Well our toy wranglers have lightning fast reflexes and will be in charge of picking up what your baby drops, quickly cleaning it off and giving it back to baby.

There will also be a play area that your kids can enjoy once they are done eating (ok, maybe they shouldn't be running around after eating, but we can figure out that later) or while they are waiting for their meals to come. We will have trained babysitters watching them at all times in the play area as well.

At each table there will be iPads for your kids to enjoy. They will be fully loaded with educational applications, not television shows or movies. Don't worry about them dropping them because they are built into the table!

And parents, don't you worry! If you have enjoyed our extensive wine list a little too much, we also have someone that can drive your car home!

Sounds like a happy place, no??? Investors can leave comments and questions below.

The Best Form Of Birth Control: Lunch with kids

You know what the greatest form of birth control ever is? Going to a restaurant and sitting next to a table where there are at least 3 children under the age of 4. If you are worried about your teenagers getting pregnant, take them to a family friendly restaurant, around 11 AM on a weekday, as that is when most moms venture out with their children for lunch because they know it will be less crowded, therefore less people to apologize to when their kids go batshit.

I just returned from lunch with my two girls, and a good friend and her son, who is the same age as M (3.5). I know what you are thinking - the 3.5 year olds went crazy and were loud and spilling stuff, etc.. Oh how you are mistaken. Our 3 year olds were the poster children for kids who lunch. They sat quietly and ate their food (without electronic entertainment), were so polite and patient - so much so that at least two other restaurant employees told us how great they were.

This time the guilty party was Val, my almost 10 month old who played the part of the Tazmanian Devil. She has been teething, and didn't get a sufficient nap before we left, so I knew it would be an interesting lunch. And bad-mommy-me forgot to bring any sort of entertainment for her - the cap to her bottle and plastic tub of puffs only amused her for so long.

Like all kids her age she is grabbing at everything, so you have to keep everything out of her reach. Things I didn't move fast enough that she got in her mouth at lunch: coaster, paper napkin ring (this she ate part of before I was able to get it out of her hand), straw (which she stuck up her nose), sweet potato fry, napkin, knife (not proud of this one).

I was constantly moving plates around and she was fighting to grab them, and whining loudly when she was unsuccessful. She was in and out of the high chair as I was stuffing my face with my lunch. Val screaming with frustration, as she was so tired and cranky.

And then she grabbed a side plate and threw it on the floor, where it shattered in a pieces.

Check please!

I think the very young couple seated next to us (both of them on the same side of a booth - are we doing that now?) was going to think twice about doing it tonight...

Not My Mother's Grocery List

Amazingly good roasted brussel sprouts
(recipe at end of post)

My mother is a wonderful cook. When we were little we ate very well, but like most households probably ate the same 8-10 meals that Mom had in her rotation. We ate a lot of chicken, a pork chop thrown in there every once in a while, spaghetti and meatballs, steak on special occasions and I remember a veal cutlet popping up once in a blue moon. My brother and I were not picky eaters by any means, and were lucky to eat the delicious meals my mom prepared for us every day.

But as I was just cleaning up from our dinner of grilled Veal chops, roasted fingerling potatoes with garlic and onions, and roasted beet and goat cheese salad, I was thinking about how there were so many things that I was not exposed to when I was young, because my parents didn't like them.

In the past 12 years or so I have become what I consider to be an amateur foodie. I love to eat out at new and exciting places, and try out of the box (I hate that term with a passion) dishes. There has never been a food that I would not try, and I love that my husband is the exact same way. And now I am trying to groom my daughter to have an extensive palate as well. In fact she just sat down with us (for her second dinner - the first was barely touched hours before) and enjoyed bites of veal, beets and goat cheese. We are now in the habit of doing this most nights, and so far there isn't much she won't eat.

I think about all the stuff that I make at home for my family that my parents would never think of serving to us as kids; lamb, brussel sprouts, beets, fancy cheeses from France, butternut squash...things with truffle oil, to name a few. And out to dinner I love to be adventurous, and if M is with us I am shoving things like foie gras, duck or sweetbreads in her mouth.

A-hole, party of 2!

Today M & I went out to lunch with a good friend after we all went to music class. We were dining in a South End Bistro, the kids were being VERY good, we were all enjoying our food quietly in a corner booth. It is a popular swanky spot, so it was filling up quickly around noon (as we were finishing up).

The hostess goes to sit a party of two not directly next to us, but one table away. Now, this place is not a large establishment, but there is still a decent amount of room between tables, and he would have been one table away. She gestures towards the table, but the middle aged, fat, balding slob (who looks like an alcoholic George Costanza, sans glasses) decides to sit wherever he wants, which is across the aisle at another two top. And why may you ask? Well he told us all!

"I don't do kids."

After he said it, I thought, "did I hear that right? He doesn't 'do' kids?" I played the scene back in my head and it made complete sense to me. He didn't want to sit NEAR our lovely, extremely well-behaved kids, so he sat about an additional 5 feet away from us, right in my line of sight.

I totally understand people wanting to go out for adult meals, with adults and have adult conversations. But this man came to a restaurant in the South End (for those of you not familiar, it is not a business district at all, but a trendy-hipster-family friendly neighborhood that is primarily gay, and fabulous, and known for its quaint restaurants) where we were not the only women with children there - there were two other tables with babies, all of whom were quiet as can be! It wasn't like we were in some fancy shmancy restaurant where kids should never go - this place is very kid accommodating! They have children's menus that you can color in for the love of Elmo!

What did this ass hat think was going to happen if he sat near us? Would we allow our kids to throw food at him? Would we allow them to knock over glasses on his table and ruin his cheap polyester pants? And how did this extra 5 feet make a difference!!!

I was so offended that I actually wanted to get the kids riled up and cause a scene, just to ruin his lunch, but no, our kids were little angels.

I told my friend what I had just heard and she had the best comeback - "Oh! Well we don't do assholes, so it works for both of us that you don't sit there!"

Why was I so offended by this???

Ladies who lunch

As a stay at home mom you have to be creative in thinking of ways to fill your days. I call my daily outings with M "adventures," whether it be to our weekly class, a museum, a friends house or even to our old standby Costco. About 3 times a week we have luncheon adventures...most of the time it is with other SAHMs and their kids but lately it has been just the two of us. We have become "ladies who lunch." And I love it!

We have some favorite places that we like to go that I wanted to share with you:

1. 40 Carrots @ Bloomingdales. This little luncheon spot is in the cosmetic section of the Chestnut Hill Bloomingdales (and most other Bloomies). It has a fabulous lunch menu filled with fancy salads and sandwiches as well as hot entree items. It is also a frozen yogurt spot, so dessert is a must have. While they do have a great, healthy children's menu, I am not a big fan children's menus in general so I tend to order M something off the regular menu, or have her just share what I am having. The last time we were there I had the chicken salad sandwich (to die for), which she shared with me, and I ordered her a smoothie to go along with it. It is generally pretty crowded (there is only seating for like 40-ish) on the weekends, so we go early at like 11 on weekdays and basically have the place to ourselves.

That's right, I am a Lady Who Lunches!

2. Cheesecake Factory. This is a fabulous place to take kids of all ages. They bring you, free of charge, a plate full of sliced bananas and bread for the kids to munch on right away. A great touch! And now that they have the wonderful "small plates" menu, there is no need to even look twice at the children's menu. Last week we got two small plates to split (hummus and pita (again, to die for) and crab cakes) and it was plenty of food. As you probably know it is a loud restaurant during crowded periods, so it is a good place to bring your kids if you think they too are going to be loud.

3. Le Bistro @ Nordstroms. Although I am not a huge fan of Nordstroms the store, I am in love with the restaurant housed within it's walls. Le Bistro (or The Bistro - I can't remember which and Le just sounded fancier :) has a menu similar to 40 Carrots, with fancy salads and sandwiches, which I end up sharing with M instead of ordering off the children's menu. They do have a great menu for children, but I try to stay away from her having fried food or mac n cheese every time we go out. They have been extremely accommodating when we have large parties of Mamas and babies as well. I highly recommend them for a lunch adventure!

4. The Yard House. I think the Yard House has the best traditional bar/pub food around. I know it is known for it's extensive beer collection, but we go there for the food. Since we live down the street from it, we are there once a week probably. They are super friendly to kids, and again there is a ton of stuff on the regular menu for a toddler to enjoy, but they do have your typical kids menu if you choose.

Other places we like to go in Boston area with M:
- Beehive (in the South End - best jazz brunch if you ask me! Great entertainment for the kiddies)
- Legal Seafoods (great kids menu)
- Rox Diner, West Roxbury (very small dining area, fabulous brunch)
- Met Bar (Legacy Place)
- West on Centre, West Roxbury (not the best food, but decent, and very accommodating to kids)
- Smokey Bones (fabulous BBQ in Davis Square)

What are your favorite kid-friendly spots?

Family, Table of 3!!!

by Mama M

When our baby was too big to be seen in public in his carseat, and with multiple failed attempts at dinner under our belts, we thought our eating out days were over, but with some lowered expectations and a few internet finds, we've been able to go out as much as ever. If you haven't gotten comfortable with "baby-dinners-out" yet, hopefully you can learn something from our mistakes.

Our first mistake - eating during his nap/bedtime. We've learned our lesson - now we waste time in the car or walk him around in the carriage until he wakes up from his nap, and if we're right up against his bedtime we just bring the food home or go through a drive-through- it's just not worth it.

Our second mistake - taking him to a quiet restaurant once we thought we mastered "baby-dinners-out". What seemed like harmless table banging at TGIFridays quickly became reason for myself and my husband to start sweating and reason to avoid eye-contact with diners around us. Our infant-in-the-carseat, not-a-peep-through-dinner nights are OVER. This one trip almost shattered our confidence for future trips out. We stick to the restaurants with the most noise now....any chain/theme restaurant, any pub....we leave the nice meals for just the two of us; spending a lot of money is not worth it when you spend the majority of the meal bending over to pick up thrown toys. Plus no one wants to get dressed up to go to a special dinner and see and mostly HEAR a baby at the next table.

Our third mistake - we saw the waitress clean the table with an old dirty rag before she put out the placemats, but 5 minutes later we couldn't keep our son from trying to rub his food on it, suck the edge of it, bite it...the more we tried to prevent our son from touching it, the more he wanted it. My mother found these wonderful table toppers that we now store in all our diaper bags, they're personally my favorite baby invention - biodegradeble, plastic placemats that have two adhesive edges that you can use to stick one edge under the table, and then stick the other side on the top of the table in front of baby. You can confidently put down cheerios, toys, etc. and know that even if your baby spends the meal teething the edge, they aren't making contact with the gross dirty water/germs of every previous diner. Plus, when the meal is over, you take them off, ball them up like a napkin and leave them behind - nothing to take home and clean.

Speaking of reuseable mats, we spent an entire vacation cleaning the wipe-off bibs in our bathroom, hanging them out to dry each night (it's not easy to clean carrot stains with just a bar of hotel bathroom soap). The solution? Bib clips - you can take any cloth or paper napkin that you get at a restaurant, make it into a bib (similar to the "bib" you wear at the dentist), and again, just like the table toppers, you can leave the mess behind.

Our fifth mistake - thinking "he just ate, we don't want to overfeed him". We later learned that when he sits with us at the adult table and sees us eat, he wants to eat....now we bring a jar of food and a spoon, and a zip lock bag or plastic bowl of cheerios. He has just as much fun quietly moving all the cheerios to the floor as he does

eating them, so for 20 minutes we've bought ourselves at least a taste of an appetizer, maybe even some conversation. Soon, we'll be consistently ordering kids meals for him - that will be another big exciting step.

Other nice to haves - high chair liners - we have two - one that can be used in the grocery cart too, and then one that's thinner, made by Fisher Price and only for use in a restaurant high chair. The latter is the best - it has two hooks for toys so that they don't fall to the ground....it's not meant to make the high chair a throne, but it keeps

him away from yicky leftover food crusties and whatever else the last baby left behind.