Monday, November 4, 2013

The End of the Streak

We were going for a record...I had heard of it happening in other people's houses, even close friends had it happen in their homes...but never had it happened in ours. My girls would never, I thought. I can't believe other kids do that and their parents somehow deal with it. We were close once, but I took action before it came to fruition and we avoided disaster. And then last week, after it never happening for almost four years of having children in our lives it happened...

Val pooped in the tub.

It was a normal week day evening. I had just finished feeding the girls and as I do every night took them both up to take a bath before getting ready for bed. They were both playing nicely in the tub together, so I let them stay in there for a few minutes after they were clean. I sat, as I usually do, right on the bathmat at the edge of the tub. I picked up my phone to text my husband to see when he would be coming home, when out of the corner of my eye I see Val stand up in the tub and place her hands on the edge of the tub, and then squat down, like so... (yes, I know I forgot to give her hands in this drawing)
I look up at her and she gives me this scrunched up little devil face and her best little feral animal growl.


No, she can't be.

Is she making the poop face?

Did she just? No, she couldn't have.

And then, she reached around in the tub and stood up...

...with poop in her hand.

She let out this high pitched scream and squeeze her newfound prize in her hand. All the while, M is just playing quietly with her mermaid dolls, back turned to her tasmanian devil of a sister. 

this looks more like a cross between Nene Leakes
and Kristen Schaal than it does me. 
I screamed at the top of my lungs and grabbed M so fast she had no idea what was happening. I wrapped her in a towel as she is all "what is going on mom? What did Valerie do?" I tell M that Val accidentally pooped in the tub, and of course the first thing M says is, "Valerieeeeee! Tubs aren't for pooping! Why did you do that!!" and then quietly..."can I see it?" 

As M is trying to peer around me into the tub and see what is happening, and I am trying to wash Val's hand off with a wash cloth, I couldn't help it...I just burst into laughter. It was the most hysterical scene I have ever been a part of. 

My little Neanderthal did her thing. It was absolutely disgusting but I couldn't help but laugh at M's reaction and the way Val stood up holding the poop in her hand like she had just scalped her enemy and taken a prize for herself. 

That shit was funny. 

I can't wait to tell her about this when she is older. 


  1. This cracked me up! The "can I see it?" And the victory pose - made me chuckle!!

  2. OMG this is fantastic!!

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