Mama needs a little love

written by our new Mama T

After a particularly raucous (re: drunken) weekend when the stars all aligned that I literally was tipsy (or slightly more than) for 3 days/nights (girls' night at my house, old friend in town, company holiday party, Boston wine expo) I decided to detox for a few weeks. I mention this because I do love to unwind with a glass of wine at night and it's been a particularly bad week. My dad may have lymphoma (waiting for results), I am in the process of firing someone at work and life has just generally been stressful. But most disturbing and depressing is my 2 1/2 year old's increasingly annoying attachment to Daddy.

Case in point - I left work yesterday in a rush, got to the T, they had closed the doors then opened them again so I started running, then as I got to them, they closed them again (BASTARDS! I swear it was on purpose) and I fell on my ass (and elbow) because it was slippery from the snow. As I'm laying on the ground trying to recover, some homeless guy is yelling at me "You shouldn't run!", so I picked my embarrassed self up and snuffled while I waited for the next train and then all the way home from pain (and humiliation). So I come home hoping for a little unconditional love from my boy (or more likely the dog). D. is screaming, Daddy literally runs by me on his cell into the office (had forgotten about a conference call) and D. is just crying "Daddy, daddy, daddy" over and over again (because Daddy is king in our house). I am feeling like persona non grata, take him upstairs to feed him, he is being a complete PITA, Daddy finally comes up an hour later, starts helping because he can probably tell I'm about to lose it. Suddenly D. is all smiles and talking about his day and loving Daddy (after crying and ignoring my attempts to engage him in conversation for an hour), which makes me feel worse. I sit down to eat my stupid salad (because I am trying to be healthy) and I bite my lip so hard that tears spring to my eyes and am on dangerous ground of dissolving into a full blown crying jag. Daddy (who has D. in his lap) whispers "Go give Mama a hug." D. obediently climbs up on my lap, pats my face, says "You bite your lip?" I say yes, he pats me again, says "Poor Mama" and immediately says "I wanna go back sit with Daddy." 

Did I mention I stopped drinking this week?

Almost all of my friends' children love their mamas - a few certainly love their daddies too but I am the only one I know whose son seems to REALLY favor Daddy. Don't get me wrong, I know my son loves me and there are certainly times he wants to cuddle with Mama, but it's usually when Daddy's not home. (Kidding! Sort of.) Everyone assures me he'll go through phases but this one is lasting a while. We have been debating #2 but I don't want to do #2 simply because I'm hoping I'll get a Mama's boy (or girl).

In case you are wondering, let me interject here that I am pretty nice to my son and don't beat him with a broom or anything.

Although this may fall into the category of "Be careful what you wish for" because now that I think about it, his attachment to Daddy often demands Daddy give him a bath, put him to bed, etc. which sometimes enables Mama to have her glass of wine.

Or maybe hot cocoa for a few weeks.