So I am sitting pretty right now in my second trimester. Just about 16 weeks down, not feeling like I am seasick every second of the day anymore and the belly is starting to show. Not the cute round beach ball type showing, but the I-can't-suck-it-in-anymore-and-this-baby-is-now-pushing-out-all-my-belly-fat-I-used-to-hide type showing. But whatevs - this time around I don't care, I am showing it off. Of course people probably think I am 30 weeks pregnant, and not 16 with the way that I look, but I don't care. I don't seem to care about a lot of things that I cared about the first time around either...
When you get pregnant for the first time you are so freaking excited to finally be a mother (especially when you wait 2 years like we did), that you do everything exactly by the book. You don't eat the things they tell you not to, you exercise and take care of yourself, you get massages, you read baby books, you take belly photos...blah blah blah. You bask in the glow of being a glorious pregnant woman! Well, none of that is happening with this pregnancy. None.
I just ate way too much raw cookie dough. I had a Medium hamburger last weekend. I had tunafish for lunch yesterday. And yes mom, I am eating my eggs runny. I even had some unpasturized cheese!! Citizens arrest! I am not eating all this to intentionally cause myself and the baby harm of course, but I am just being way less careful than I was the first time. I am not eating any lunch meats, or sushi or raw meats, but everything else has been pretty much fair game - in moderation of course.
With my first pregnancy I had a ton of shit going on - I had Low Papp A blood levels, I had very low amniotic fluid, I was high risk for downs and had to have a CVS and I had blood clots and because of all this I was being monitored every other week and had to pretty much take the best care of myself and baby as I could. This time around I have none of that - so far it has been easy breezy (knock on wood). I was so spoiled though with all the ultrasounds I got last time that it is killing me that I only get one more at 18 weeks! One more! Not cool...
The first pregnancy is glorious and exciting, this one is just kind like "yeah I'm pregnant, but I have a life to live, a family to take care of and shit to do!" Of course I am reminded every second that I am pregnant by my fat ass I am carrying around with me from chair to chair. I am not exercising this time around - have done prenatal yoga twice does that count?- and I really have no excuse besides laziness.
Oh and I have basically had a sinus infection for the last 3 months straight. I have horrible sinusitis to begin with, and this kid is killing my head with all this extra fluid I am carrying around. Feel like my head is under water (I guess I should stop blabbering about this and see my ENT about it...I know mom!) all throughout the day.
My mom asked me if I planned to blog about this pregnancy, as I did with my first one, and I seriously don't have the energy to take photos of my progression, talk about nursery designs and baby clothes like I did last time. It just isn't as exciting as the first! Of course once I find out the sex of the baby in two weeks I think I will perk back up a little, as right now I feel like I can't plan anything without knowing what I am having.
Right now I feel like I am more scared than I am excited to have this child. My husband, M and I have such a happy life together and pretty much have it all figured out - what is adding another human to the mix going to do? Of course it will be awesome - and I can't wait to meet this little bugger - but I am not afraid to admit that I am scared shitless.
I watched my BFF today at the Children's Museum dealing with two children running in separate directions and couldn't stop thinking about how that will be me not too long from now. Yes, my kids will be almost 3 years apart, and hers are only 19 months, but still having two lives to be responsible for is crazyballs! This one is running that way, while the other is running the other way, and this one is screaming while the other is crying - drives a woman to drink!
Ok, enough of my rambling for the day. Must waddle up the stairs to get the princess from her nap!!
Hope you are all enjoying this magnificent day!