Monday, September 16, 2013

A Note to Parents of Kids Trying to Sell Things To Me

If your kid plans to come to my house, in hopes of me purchasing candy, wrapping paper, a candle, or whatever item their school is making them sell, here are some tips that will make them more likely to make a sale:

1. Smile
Ding Dong! We want to make you fat!
2. Introduce yourself and tell me where you go to school.
3. Tell me why you are selling whatever you are selling.
4. Explain where the money is going.
5. Seem interested in what you are doing.
6. Say please and thank you.
7. If I am unable to purchase said item (because this mama rarely has cash on her), and ask that you come back at another time don't just walk away. Look me in the eye and say thank you or good night.
8. If I do purchase said item, seem grateful. And again, smile for crying out loud.

So far this year I have bought a candle, girl scout cookies and candy from our neighborhood children. None of them smiled. None of them were interested in what they were selling. None of them told me anything about what they were selling, where the money was going...yada yada yada. I was not impressed, but I did the neighborly thing and purchased whatever they were selling so I wasn't labeled as that "mean old woman who never has cash."

A teenage boy just came to my door and said the following (with a puss on his face)...

"Wanna buy chocolate for my football team?"

And when I told him I didn't have cash on me right now (the truth) and that maybe he could come back another day, he just turned and walked away and said "ok" under his breath.

Hence, this post.

Actually maybe I do want to be known as "the mean old woman who never has cash" and that way no one will ever ring my door and ask me to buy things, that most of the time just make me fat.

Bah Humbug.

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