Mama J is out for a walk with Baby M and Ellie the dog. They are about half a mile from home when Mama J looks down at her hand...and to her horror discovers there is a mysterious substance on it. She looks closer at palm side of her hand, across the middle of her fingers, and stops in her tracks when she realizes that the mysterious substance is most likely doo doo.
What the? she thinks. Is this poop on my hand? Looks like poop. Smells like poop. Tastes like poop (kidding of course). How the frig did this get there?

She looks at the leash she has been holding in that hand (which had not touched the ground at all). No poop.
She looks at the bottom of her shoe (not that she was touching the bottom of her shoe with her hand, she just figured she would look). No poop.
What the hell is going on here? I did change a diaper before I left the house, and it was a poopy one...did I not wash my hands? Crap I can't remember.
Holy shit (pun intended). If that is where this mystery poop came from, I have been walking around with it on my hand for almost an hour! But how is it nowhere else? Oh my God...is it on me? I haven't looked in the mirror all morning!! Do I have poop on my face?
With her clean right hand she quickly feel on her face for any more excrement. Oh my God have I been walking around with poop on my face? No poop.
She checks her jacket and hat. No evidence of poop. She is baffled. Luckily it was trash day and she was able to wipe her hand off on a box on the sidewalk after dipping it in one of the many puddles on the street. And thankfully she had some tissues in her pocket to help clean herself up.
But where the poop came from we will never know...Case Unsolved!!
Ha! Reminds me of in Baby Mama, when Maura Tierney (Tina Fey's sister in the movie) sees something and says, "Poop or chocolate?", then pops it in her mouth. Oh, the joys of motherhood!
ReplyDeleteVery funny! My kids are teenagers now but I remember those days when they were young and there was just too much POOP in my life. I remember I always felt like I smelled like POOP too! Although I just took a shower or had no POOP on me!... Potty training is a BEAUTIFUL thing!
ReplyDeleteThese are plain and simply the best diapers on the market. I can't say nearly as much for regular expensive diapers. We tried every brand available when my son was born a size preemie - nothing would fit on him, and everything leaked! We had our hospital guests running out for us to find us diapers. Then we finally decided to try these, and they still fit him, no matter what he's growing like at the time.
ReplyDeletevb
ReplyDeletejordan shoes, louboutin, michael kors outlet, michael kors, michael kors, louis vuitton handbags, nike air max, louis vuitton, gucci outlet, true religion outlet, michael kors outlet, air max, coach outlet store, ray ban sunglasses, burberry outlet online, michael kors, longchamp outlet, nike free, true religion jeans, burberry outlet online, coach factory outlet, louboutin, toms shoes, air jordan, polo ralph lauren, chanel handbags, ray ban, prada outlet, tiffany and co, nike air max, polo ralph lauren outlet, louboutin, coach outlet, nike shoes, ralph lauren, kate spade outlet, tory burch outlet, air max, oakley sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, true religion, michael kors outlet, oakley sunglasses, longchamp, prada handbags, nike free, coach purses, coach factory,
ReplyDeleteTurkish Prime christian louboutin shoes Minister Davutoglu with Iraqi Prime Minister on the 25th Abadi said Turkey and Iran discount christian louboutin will Discount LV Handbags eliminate differences strengthen cooperation to combat the "Islamic State" extremist organization.Abadi and Davutoglu on earth - after the Iraq Strategic Cooperation Council meeting and high-level talks, held a joint uggs on sale press conference in Ankara. Abadi said Iraq will not allow Christian Louboutin Bois Dore any harm uggs outlet to Turkish terrorist organization, Christian Louboutin Daffodile and has been ready for any discount nike jordans threat against cooperation. Iraq hopes to raise the Iraq-Turkey cheap christian louboutin relations to a positive level. He Cheap Louis Vuitton Handbags also said Iraq Discount Louis Vuitton is willing ugg australia to christian louboutin sell energy resources through Turkey to the international market.Davutoglu said that Turkey and Iran Bags Louis Vuitton will strengthen military cooperation, training the christian louboutin remise 50% Iraqi army to Air Jordan 11 Gamma Blue fight against the cheap nike jordan shoes "Islamic State" armed extremist groups. The two ministers had discussed ways to strengthen military cooperation.Since ugg pas cher the beginning of June this ugg soldes year, the outbreak of wholesale jordan shoes serious armed conflict in Iraq, including the "Islamic State", including the rebels occupied large swathes of territory in northern Iraq and Cheap LV Handbags west. As Iraq's northern ugg neighbor, cheap jordans Turkey, ugg boots on the fight against "Islamic State" and other issues play an important role.
ReplyDeleteshijun 3.18
ReplyDeletetiffany jewelry
air jordan shoes
salomon running shoes
coach outlet store
beats by dre,dr dre,beats headphones
kate spade outlet
mlb jerseys wholesale
coach factory outlet
rolex watches
toms outlet
true religion jeans
coach outlet online
hollister clothing store
michael kors outlet
ray ban sunglasses online
coach outlet store
thomas sabo bracelet
ralph lauren outlet
louis vuitton outlet stores
pandora
louis vuitton outlet
gucci shoes
louis vuitton outlet online
cheap jordans
ghd hair straighteners
asics running shoes
herve leger
valentino sale
mcm handbags
marc jacobs outlet
coach outlet
pandora
coach outlet
nhl jerseys
longchamp sale
ray ban
nike air max uk
ghd
lululemon outlet
coach outlet store online
kate spade outlet
ReplyDeletetory burch handbags
air max 2015
arizona cardinals jerseys
coach outlet
the north face clearance
canada goose outlet
surpa sneakers
michael kors outlet
green bay packers jerseys
miami heat jersey
swarovski uk
new orleans saints jerseys
michael kors uk
nike free
baltimore ravens jerseys
oakland raiders jerseys
ray ban sunglasses
cheap football shirts
nike huarache
miami dolphins jerseys
nike free uk
mulberry outlet
cheap wedding dresses
cleveland cavaliers jersey
golden state warriors jerseys
new york jets jerseys
tory burch outlet
nike running shoes
new york giants jerseys
indianapolis colts jerseys
tommy hilfiger outlet
air max 2014
ysl outlet
a chang 0618
shijun 6.26
ReplyDeletejordan 11s
fitflops outlet
oakley sunglasses
hollister kids
air max 2015
abercrombie store
ralph lauren uk
gucci
louis vuitton
michael kors
coach outlet online
gucci handbags
burberry handbags
chanel outlet online
pandora rings
michael kors
burberry outlet
white timberland boots
abercrombie and fitch
michael kors
air jordan 13
toms promo code
toms shoes
chanel no 5
prada uk outlet
louis vuitton outlet
michael kors handbags
jordan 3
oakley sunglass
timberland boots
jordan 13 retro
jordan 6s
dior outlet store
burberry bags
louis vuitton outlet
louboutin
coach factory outlet
jordan 11 retro
coach outlet
beats headphones
chaussures christian louboutin
ReplyDeleteclippers jerseys
tory burch
polo ralph lauren shirts
michael kors outlet
nike huarache ultra
fitflops shoes
louis vuitton
instyler curling iron
cheap oakley sunglasses
20172.21chenjinyan