Monday, October 25, 2010

Shaken not Stirred

I had posted a few months ago about my lack of a sex life after baby came. And I have to admit that the act of writing that post, and reading people's comments, was like an awakening for me. I figured I should stop thinking about it so much, and stop telling everyone else about it, and start talking to my husband and do something about it. And so a re-birth of our sex life occurred.

Now we are still lucky if we do it once or twice a week, but those few times we have vowed to make special in some sort of way. No more of the rolling over and looking at each other with the "do you want to do it?" face, and my "fine, let's just get it over with" response. We have agreed to spice things up each time we do it...I won't get into too much details (as some things are NSFW - teehee), but I can tell you some of my favorite things that have made it all the more exciting.

- Never the same position twice in a row. We were getting into a habit of being extra lazy and doing the same thing each time. Now it is a rule that we can't! Not that we are doing something different each time, and no Kama Sutra manuals have been purchased, but we have a few about 5-6 that we rotate to keep things interesting.

- Different times of day. My husband likes morning sex, I like to wake up when I wake up. Because of this we have been opting for a little Afternoon Delight on the weekends, or right when he gets home from work (see more on this later).

- Toys. I won't elaborate, just find something you are both comfortable introducing into the bedroom and experiment!

- Fantasies - we told each other some of our fantasies (now we have been together for 12 years and are just now telling each other some of these secret things) and it has really made things exciting. Just the fact that we have opened up is a whole new ballgame.

- Cocktail Time - So I have to tell you about this one time a few weeks ago. My husband works very late, and had worked almost a 100 hour work week. Friday night, baby is asleep, the house is clean, the dog is fed, and Hubby gives me the call from work saying he is on his way out. I have 45 minutes to prepare something special...and I don't mean dinner. I decide to put on one of his work shirts with some sexy underwear (which means boyshort panties as they are his favorite), with some fabulously high, spiky heels. In the kitchen I fix a batch of dirty martinis, and pour one for myself, but leave his in the shaker on ice, with an empty glass next to it. I write on a note card next to the empty glass, Shake, Pour & Bring Up to the Bedroom....He comes upstairs to find me (with glasses on) relaxing on the bed in my get-up...and we had the best Friday night we have had in a long time.

I feel silly sharing this in some ways, but I want all of you Mamas out there to know you can easily spice things up and get back in the groove. And your husband will thank you if you do!!