Saturday, February 11, 2012

This pregnancy is not like the other

As I head into the second trimester of my second pregnancy I have been thinking a lot about the differences between this one and the last one three years ago.

Of course there are the major differences in my life at that time. We lived downtown in a two bedroom condo. I was working...not full-time in an office but I was self employed and working every day. I was in pretty great shape when I got pregnant. And the obvious difference - I didn't have a two year old to look after.

The differences in the actual pregnancy are drastic too. It took me two years to get pregnant with M, but the actual pregnancy was fairly easy. I didn't have any nausea, I was energetic, and working out way into the third trimester.

This time around - holy hell.

I have been feeling carsick since the moment I found out I was actually pregnant. That type of nausea where you want to throw up, but you can't, and all you want to do is stick your head out the door and get fresh air. Oh and stuff your face full of carbs. Hold on...I need to get some fresh air right now!

Ok, I'm back...and just took some Tums. All I want to do is eat egg bagel after egg bagel, and loaves of bread. And did I mention that I am not working out? Despite what you may have heard, the all bagel all the time diet is not as effective as you would think in the losing weight department!

Also I am exhausted. I don't know if it is because all I do all day is run after and play with a two year old, or if it is the pregnancy. I am going to guess it is a combo of both. As soon as I put M down for her afternoon nap I struggle to keep my own eyes open, and most days end up taking a nap myself. And if I don't get my 8 hours at night - forget it. Stay away...stay far away from me those days.

There are a lot of TMI things happening with my body too (so stop reading if you don't want to be grossed out). I have already had a yeast infection, crazy hemorrhoids, and I feel like my 13 year old self with the way my skin is looking. Not to mention my boobs are already out of control!

During the first one I didn't miss alcohol at all. I was so elated and overjoyed to actually be pregnant that I didn't miss anything about my non-pregnant life. Well, this time around - MAMA NEEDS A DRINK. Spending a day with a two year old, and not being able to enjoy a lovely glass of wine at the end of the day to calm your nerves makes for a crazy mama. I miss my booze terribly. I miss having drinks with my girls, and those cocktails during a nice dinner. Luckily when out to dinner the other night I stumbled upon a non-alcoholic mojito (recipe to come in a separate post), so at least now I can get a taste of one of my favorite drinks, but without the buzz (the best part I know!)

I didn't feel like a fat pregnant woman until about 8 months into my first pregnancy. And here I am at only 12 weeks and I feel like I did at 30 weeks the first time around.

I am going to go ahead and say it is because I started this pregnancy in much worse shape than I was 3 years ago. I know I talk about this all the time, but I am totally out of shape at this point. Because of health issues this last year I wasn't able to work out like I used to and my body just revolted and headed south (in some places, literally.) I swam during my last pregnancy, and should probably start doing that again, as it not only was great for my body but made me so relaxed and calm - two emotions I could do with a little of!

But it is hard to find any time for yourself when you have another child to look after! I have terrible moments of anxiety thinking about what my life will be like in 6 months when this baby comes and I have two children to take care of. How the hell am I going to do this? I know my mom will be here to help, but she will go back to her own life eventually. Do I hire help? I always turned my nose up at stay at home moms who hired help, but now it looks like a great idea to me! I have M enrolled in pre-school three days a week starting in the fall, but do I send her 5 days?

If I think about it anymore, I might drive myself to drink for real...


  1. Mama J, I hear you. My little "kidney bean" (the size of #3 this week, according to BabyCenter) is making me feel disgusting unless I stuff my face with baguettes, bagels, and/or pepperoni pizza. And chicken makes me totally grossed out, just thinking about it. To answer your question about your life in 6 months, I can tell you that things will be very crazy for a while as you all adjust to your little newcomer, but then you get on this great upward slope. Right now, it is so fun to see the Duchess and Honey play together, which often means I can go to the bathroom by myself. (I am lying about that one, of course. I have not been to the bathroom by myself since 2008). You have to have a little help (even with one kid, ahem). You're going to have doctors appointments, etc. and you're also going to want a little one on one time with the newcomer. I would recommend 3 days for M, and if you can get her started in school before the baby comes that is even better (I didn't think about it and started the Duchess after Honey arrived, and then the Duchess thought I abandoned her). One thing that is different in a good way is that you don't have these long boring stretches of time with you staring at the baby, wondering what to do, anymore. Because M will be fascinated by the baby and provide a lot of entertainment. Hope this is helpful.

  2. First of all, congratulations to you and your family!
    We had baby girl #2 on December 9th, so your feelings of anxiety are very fresh in my mind and very much a part of my every day life. Since we are going through the transition from one kid to two kids, here are some things that work for us right now. Definitely get M to preschool a couple days a week. I like the idea of her starting before the baby comes. That will help you a lot and M will probably be psyched to get out of the house. Also, most newborns sleep a lot in the first few weeks. This will give you special times with M when she needs it most and also give you time to do things around the house. Finally, ask for help. Whether you ask your husband to pick up dinner, or get help with housework, anything helps. I have to say, the first month is a huge adjustment but having two is wonderful. You will love watching your daughter become a big sister. Congrats again!

  3. Congartulations to you! with your story I sincerely suggest you have to adjust...