Monday, June 11, 2012

My Bottle Runneth Over

That’s right; I’m lucky.  And as I sit here on my very first wedding anniversary, in a breast milk stained maternity nightgown, I feel the need to say it out loud.  

We got pregnant quickly, carrying “Birdie” was relatively uncomplicated, and the delivery uneventful.  And though this is what we wanted more than anything, at four in the morning when you are trying to feed a crying baby who won’t latch, you tend to question things a bit.

When you are a new mom, you go through tons of ups and downs--some you expected, and some that come as huge surprises.  And when the nurse at my six week postnatal check asked how my general mood was, I wasn’t exactly quick to say “great!”  Are you kidding me?  I got a combined total of five hours sleep last night (broken up into three sections), pumped for a half hour to leave a bottle with my husband so I could even make it to the appointment in the first place, and then they keep me waiting an hour and fifteen minutes before even being seen?!  But then again, being a mom is the most important job I have ever had--so why are we, as moms, unable to just say out loud that it can be both amazing and crappy at the exact same time?

My life has changed quite drastically over the past year: instead of going out for martinis at a place with a great bar scene, I go out for coffee with the hopes of a superb breastfeeding location; instead of looking up the latest trends in fashion, I’m researching the best diapers to absorb explosive poops, and instead of spontaneous date nights with my husband, we are literally two ships passing in the night--swapping turns feeding, diapering, and rocking.

And though the thought of putting on the bikini I bought for my honeymoon last year makes me want to wear an industrial-grade garbage bag for the rest of my life (black is flattering, right?), I can’t imagine being in a different place in our lives.

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