My husband has always done things on his own time, and in his own way. For instance, we were together FIVE years before he proposed (and had lived together four-and-a-half of them); he wouldn’t discuss anything wedding related until we were formally planning one of our own, and no talking baby names until we knew what we were having. And when I was in labor, and about to deliver “Bird,” our agreement of him not looking at my “hinterlands” and staying by my head somehow seemed to have never existed (how do you ever get the romance back after that one, by the way?)! And I know what all of you are thinking: “Wow, that’s great that he waits until he’s comfortable!” or “Good for him for standing his ground!” But the problem is, I don’t let things go that easily.
You see, if you knew me you’d describe me as a “planner,” a Type A personality to a fault. In fact, in my brother’s speech at our wedding he stated to the entirety of our two-hundred guests: “she’s bought presents for you for a holiday you thought our culture didn’t even celebrate; not only that, she’s already bought the presents that you’re going to give someone else for that holiday.” And you know what? He’s not lying. Not one bit (and come Kwanza, your girlfriend’s father’s second wife is going to love those antique candleholders I’ve been saving at the bottom of my Hoarders closet).
Maybe it’s that I’m a bit controlling, but I like to think that because I plan ahead, things work out really well for me. And for that reason, I believe everyone else should be planning out their lives just the same, so everything works out for them too! Because I care. You are WELCOME, world!
The reality is, before my husband is truly ready to do something, he chooses not to do it. It drives me completely mad. But when the time does come that he is ready, he does it really really well! And this Father’s Day, his very first, is an amazing time for me to sit back and watch him with our daughter. Because no matter how much you prepare, there is absolutely no “preparing” for this- and truthfully, he never needed it anyway.
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