Last week’s episode of AMC’s ‘Mad Men’ reminded us that our kids will always need us no matter what they have, who they are with, or where they will be.
In the episode, Sally Draper ditches the posh family ski weekend with Betty and Henry and commands a hip weekend in the city with Don and Megan. The pinnacle of her weekend junket is skipping school (approved by dad!), meeting her phone-pal “boyfriend,” and spending the morning at the Museum of Natural History. Having attained all that a rebellious pre-pubescent heart could desire, Sally’s big day out is stained with the onset of her “becoming a woman;” the realization that she doesn’t even like the boyfriend in his physical presence despite loving the secret she had been keeping about their relationship; and that all she wants right now is mommy…
This basic human need for mommy, ever more powerful and poignant during big risks and life events, actually puts us moms in a very powerful position. Am I prepared for all this responsibility? Will I be present and prepared in the actual moment when these events occur for my daughters?
So far my two girls are only 2.3 years and 2 months old, so they haven’t experienced the full fury of what life has to throw at them just yet. But some of the times that have mattered so far include:
- Bedtime and the fog of night wakings
- Shots at the doctor’s office (probably more traumatic for me)
- First 3 days of pre-preschool drop-off program (she still repeats her mantra of “Mommy will be right downstairs” each time I drop her off)
- Falling backwards off a play structure about 4 feet off the ground to land with a disproportionate (given her petite stature) heavy thump in a big pile of freshly poured sand (thank goodness). She still talks about it today, “Coco fall at the park with Iris and mommy? That was so scary.”
I am grateful every day I am able to spend with my girls and be there in their moments of need. As for everything else I think I do badly on a daily basis (cooking, being a wife, reinventing a career), at least I can be happy for this!
Please share your own most powerful mommy moments, how you dealt with them and what you learned. I loved this blogger’s aha moment of her own:
Love this post...When do I need my mom?ReplyDelete
At 33: Whenever I have news to share (good or bad) she is the first I call, whenever my child does something (good or bad) and I need sympathy or support, or someone to laugh with I call her. I call her for decorating tips and ideas, anything to do with recipes/cooking or any help making a big decision.
When does M (at 2.5) need me?: When she has a bad dream, when she falls or hurts herself, when she is watching tv and wants someone to sit with, when gets out of her bed after daddy tucks her in and I go up to put her back in (mommy come too!), when she is eating she likes to feed mommy "mommy eat some too!"
But then of course there are the times when she is all "Ok, bye bye Mommy! Go away now!" and wants to play by herself or do something by herself. I am hoping when she starts her summer school program in a month that she feels this way!
Aw, this is so sweet Mama J! Especially bedtime... And I'm touched by your relationship with your own mom - I hope I have this with my girls when they are 33 and beyond!Delete
Thanks! But believe me - there are times when my mom and I almost come to blows after spending long periods of time together too. We are way too much alike in some ways (and very different in others) and that causes some chaos from time to time. But we are very very close in the grand scheme of things - it did take a long time to get here though. It wasn't until after college that we became this close, and that was with me living 1000 miles away from my parents.Delete
I love it, all the time and effort makes it all the more meaningful I'm sure. What a great story (and life lesson!), thanks for sharing!Delete
So true! I am estranged from my own mom and living so far away from the rest of my family makes me miss them even more! Especially now when I'm a mom myself. I hope that I can be close to my children when they grow up and be part of their lives...ReplyDelete