Friday, June 8, 2012

When to abandond ones principals??? (rant no2)

So, my dbg is just that, a little darling!, she's filled with energy and uses it up quickly, that means she gets very tired very soon and has no energy to eat or sit down for a story once she's hit bottom.

A few weeks ago we weened her off the pacifier (we call it dummy, so for future reference, dummy=pacifier) it went ok, it took her about a week to settle for her night time sleep without it and now she sleeps like a dream (most of the time) without it, the day naps never settled, she will scream and scream and scream so in the end I told my hubby that we'll have to give it to her, I nor her can take this any longer.

So now she'll fall asleep but wake up as soon as the dummy falls out of her mouth, I try to get her to suck her thumb but she likes to pat things and forgets to suck the thumb, though she still gets upset when it comes out and forgets that it was her thumb and she can easily put it back in again, she also is still struggling to get the dummy in properly, sometimes it works but most times it doesn't so I go in to her room over and over again, her sleep is interrupted and it turns out it's not a good enough nap.

Now she's also a bit wingy and the dummy helps calm her down, we have tried to hold it off, but her sad face just makes my insides shrink and I think, am I taking the dummy away for my sake or hers? It obviously bothers me to hear her whine and whinge, and part of me hopes that one day she'll start looking for it herself and I let her whine for while, though since she almost never finds it and puts it in her mouth herself I end up after having had her cry/whine/whinge for a while go over and do it for her....
I am worried that this bad habit is never ending, so this was me abandoning my principles, but I'm not sure to what good or bad

(my hubby reads this and looks at me, what happened to you? he says. I used to do this, as a nanny these things are so easy to deal with, no nonsense and it all works out great, maybe I should take a step back, stop letting cries bother me, enjoy the time we have while she's little and stop worrying?)


  1. How old is your daughter?
    We pulled "the plug" with M when she was about 16-17 months old. Did it cold turkey and never looked back. About a month before that we only started using it in the crib at bed and nap times, and then took it away completely.
    There was one night of screaming, but after that she totally forgot about it.

    I think with my next child (due in August) I will pull the plug even earlier, but I can't hold myself to it. I feel like they become more of a crutch for the kids than something they really need.

    I have friends that have 2 year olds and they still walk around with pacifiers - which I think is a big much at that age, but I guess people feel differently that I do.

    But I totally understand the just wanting some peace and quiet, and wanting your daughter to be happy.

    My advice is to tough it out, and hopefully she will learn to live w/o it! But of course that depends on the age...

    So I really have no advice :)

  2. How old is she? Why is it so bad to have it to fall asleep with? I guess I just don't see why it's such a big deal. As long as they don't walk around with it all day long, and it's only in bed, I don't see a problem with it. If she starts on her thumb, then you can never take that away. I would wait until she is old enough to understand, but to each their own.

  3. Right! M is 7 months old, and I am trying to tough it out. the biggest problem for her is that she doesn't sleep well at night with it, if she falls alseep for night time she'll keep on waking up everytime it falls out of her mouth and by morning she's had an awful sleep and the days are no fun for her or me. But that is more or less solved now, she sleeps well at night (most of the time)

    Daytime naps, she tends to have a difficult time to settle without it (only daytime naps) I am thinking she might be to young to not have it when she feels a bit sad/tired/upset or sleepy during the day. Anyway, I don't want to reach that point that when she's 2 and is walking around with the dummy all the time.
    Now the big thing is I'm flying next week (just her and me) and I can't have her scream and cry when there are other people on the plane, it's just not fair...
    So in conclusion.
    Night time - no dummy
    Day time naps - dummy (unless she falls alseep without it in buggy or whatnot)
    In between - dummy only when in public and high pitch screams
    Sounds inconsistent?