Friday, May 10, 2013

A Mother's Day letter to my 21 year old self

Dear 21 year old self, 
This is the future you, writing to you from the year 2013, the year you will turn 35. No, cars are not
I'm talking to you baby-faced-
marks-perky-boobed young
sexy thing.
flying, and we are not getting places via hoverboards (we still have two years for that, duh.) The world is pretty much the same, except now we have phones that are also cameras/computers and there is an African American president - pretty cool, huh? 

I write to you to let you know that your life may not turn out the way you thought it would, but it is still one hell of a life. This Sunday (in my time) you will celebrate your fourth Mother's Day- I know you probably thought it would be something like your 6th or 7th, but I will get to that in a bit. 

You know that handsome tall drink of water you just met at your summer job at the Red Sox? Well, soon the flirtatious relationship you have will quickly progress into something amazing. And that something amazing will lead to a relationship like you have never had - you will be treated like the queen you are, and loved like you have never been loved in your life. Just remember to get him out of those tapered stone-washed jeans, and off that motorcycle ASAP!!

I hate to ruin the story for you, but you will be walking down the aisle with said man, and it will be the best night of your life, followed by the vacation of your life...and then it is back to reality and the start of your new life together. 

That amazing condo you purchase together? It will cost you, both in repairs and pest control, but it will bring you years of joy and good times. 

That dog you adopt because you want a try at being a parent to something? She will bring you a love like you have never known (different from man-love and kid-love). You will treat her like your first-born, calling yourself her "mother" and she your "dog-ter." She will teach you to be patient and compassionate, but she will also drive you insane and cost you thousands of dollars. You know all that new furniture you got for your wedding? Get ready for it to be chewed up and ruined in a matter of days. And no matter how sick, or hungover or tired you are, you will have to get your lazy ass out of bed and walk that crazy dog, for at least an hour every day - in the rain and snow - because if you don't...well, you will find that out for yourself. 

Once you have gotten the handle of taking care of the pooch, you and your hubs will decide it is time to  have a human baby...this is tough part. 

It will take much longer than you expect to get pregnant. Much much much longer. You will see many doctors, and be on many medications, and be given words of encouragement by professionals and family and friends but you will want to stay in bed and cry because what comes so easily to others will not come so easily to you. You will watch your friends get pregnant without even batting an eye - but be strong and be happy for them, because you will experience the joy they are feeling...just be patient. 

You will have some really trying times during these two years - like throwing your best friend's baby shower while you are hopped up on fertility meds. This may seem like a cracked out idea at the time, and you may actually leave the shower halfway through it because you can't contain your emotions, but it will bring you closer to your friend than ever before. 

After multiple procedures, and probably 50 pregnancy tests, you actually get the news you have been waiting for...and your life is changed forever. A perfect baby girl will soon be put in your arms and you will love her with every fiber of your being. You might think you could never love another child as much as you do your first, but then 2.5 years later, you will have another baby girl, whom you love just as much...and your family will be complete. 

This all might not happen soon enough for you, but believe me, it all happens at the right time. 

Your "job" in 2013 will be to take care of these little munchkins, and let me tell you - it is no easy feat. You will get tired, and cranky, right along side your kids. You will think there is no way you can get up at 4:30 AM one more day, but then you go in to your daughter's room and see that gigantic smile she has on her face when she sees you, and it will all be worth it (just do what everyone says and nap when she naps.) 

You might feel like somewhat of a failure for not having a career while you are raising your kid. You might sometimes feel like you have given up by becoming a stay at home mom, but that isn't the case. What you are doing is the most rewarding and challenging job that there ever was - you are shaping the lives of two humans! You are not just a mom, but a teacher, a counselor, a cook, a chauffer, a shoulder to cry on and an entertainer. 

Your journey to motherhood will not be an easy one, but in all honesty, because it is a bumpy road, the destination is all that more rewarding. What you have to go through to become a mother will test your relationship with your friends and family and bring you even that much closer to your husband. 

These next 13 years will fly by. FLY BY. Be sure to cherish every moment you have with your future boyfriend/husband. Have an amazing time with your friends, before you have real responsibilities like a mortgage and children. Be nice to your mother - not always an easy feat I know - but think before you speak to her and your relationship might be as great as it is now even earlier in life. 

And those kids you will eventually have - they are the best. The family you will have...there are no words. You will love every second of being a mother, even when your kids drive you to drink (PS - you learn to love tequila!)

Oh, and stop eating all that fried crap and go to the gym more often when you are pregnant. Your future self thanks you. 


Future You

PS. I tried to find a photo of my current self, but every one I found would scare the bejesus out of you. 


  1. This is the sweetest, most beautiful post ever!! So glad I finally decided it was time to catch up on your blog! You forgot to tell your former self about all those great friends you would make at your first mom's group! :) Happy early Mother's Day to you! Love you!

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